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"I was depressed. And, at that point, suicidal. I had listened to Jana. I thought that there was nothing left for me."
"I was depressed. And, at that point, suicidal. I had listened to Jana. I thought that there was nothing left for me."
"What the-? What happened?" She looked around. Nothing seemed different but something had definitely changed. It was somehow brighter.
āIt stopped,ā He whispered, he had literally commanded things to be better at least for awhile.
"Th-there was always something. You didn't have to. So why?"
"How the-? How did you do that?" Everything was still. Quiet. Had he fixed it? Even if it was just for a second?
Paige couldn't look at her friend. She had this bottled up inside for so long, and she was only now able to pour it out. "I felt lonely and rejected wherever i went."
"Even with me?" Lillian felt like she was shattering. The broken peices of her newly healed heart about to disappear into a cavernous void.
"How the-? How did you do that?" Everything was still. Quiet. Had he fixed it? Even if it was just for a second?
āI told it to I guessā¦ā he didnāt understand what had just happened.
"Even with me?" Lillian felt like she was shattering. The broken peices of her newly healed heart about to disappear into a cavernous void.
"No. Not when it was the two of us. Girl time." She took Lillian's hands gently in her own. "But⦠when you were with Darren, it was like you forgot about me. And then I screwed up big timeā¦" She sighed, referring to the time that Lillian thought that she and Darren had slept together. Which they had. Just not in the way that she was thinking.
She sighed in relief. "A break! Finally! I can relax for more than two seconds." She glanced up at him slowly. She'd pretty much broken his heart into a thousand pieces, would he even be willing to look at her, much less talk to her or keep her around? She loved him. With all her heart, she loved him. He was always worth it, no matter the cost of which it wasn't much. What was the sacrifice if it meant she could be with him?
"Sorry," were the first words out of her mouth. She couldn't hold them back, "Sorry I-I."
"There's nothing that you have to be sorry for," Paige reinstated. "Nothing."
"Let's not. This is to perfect to ruin."
He smiled down at her. "I love you, my perfect secret."
"There's nothing that you have to be sorry for," Paige reinstated. "Nothing."
"But," Lillian had glazed eyes.
She sighed in relief. "A break! Finally! I can relax for more than two seconds." She glanced up at him slowly. She'd pretty much broken his heart into a thousand pieces, would he even be willing to look at her, much less talk to her or keep her around? She loved him. With all her heart, she loved him. He was always worth it, no matter the cost of which it wasn't much. What was the sacrifice if it meant she could be with him?
Ryan moved over on the edge of his bed, allowing room for her if she chose, he stared at his feet and sighed, things were normal at least for now.
She stood slowly, sitting next to him. "I didn't mean it. I didn't say it. I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet, thick was tears. She was so scared of what he'd think of her. She loved him so much but she didn't know how to convince him of that.
He smiled down at her. "I love you, my perfect secret."
"I love you more," Ginger retorted playfully.
"I doubt that but I'm not having this argument again." He kissed her gently.
"There's nothing that you have to be sorry for," Paige reinstated. "Nothing."
"But," Lillian had glazed eyes.
"Everything that happened to me was my choice. There was nothing you could do about it. Therefore, you have no need to apologize. "
She stood slowly, sitting next to him. "I didn't mean it. I didn't say it. I'm sorry." Her voice was quiet, thick was tears. She was so scared of what he'd think of her. She loved him so much but she didn't know how to convince him of that.
Ryan didnāt care, he made that clear as he turned his head up quickly and caught her lips in a kiss.
"I doubt that but I'm not having this argument again." He kissed her gently.
Ginger tired to forget her pain, loose herself in the kiss, but it was too much to bear. She couldn't escape it no matter how hard she tried.
Just like every time he kissed her, everything else faded into the background. There were no problems, nothing to be taken care of, it was just the two of them. And that's what she needed.
~~~
He knew he couldn't erase her pain, but at least he could say he tried. "Does it hurt that much?" He mumbled under his breath.
Ryan broke the kiss to pull her into a hug, his shoulders shook making it clear he was crying.
She fought back tears herself, she had to be strong. But her resolve was breaking under her feet, she just hadn't noticed it yet.
"There's nothing that you have to be sorry for," Paige reinstated. "Nothing."
"But," Lillian had glazed eyes.
"Everything that happened to me was my choice. There was nothing you could do about it. Therefore, you have no need to apologize. "
Lillian looked to down. There was always something that could be done. Always. A mind can always be swayed, a heart can heal or shatter, but there is never anything that can't be done.
She fought back tears herself, she had to be strong. But her resolve was breaking under her feet, she just hadn't noticed it yet.
His years fell down his face, he felt free. āI-I Love you, itās okay I love you.ā
"I love you too, no matter what." Her resolve crumbled and her tears streamed down her face. She'd bottled up so many negative emotions, to let them all go like this was like a car wash for the soul.
(A car wash for the soul. Lol!)
āI have something to show you,ā he sniffed and pulled away a little, āBut you have to touch my hands and I donāt want to hurt you,ā He looked down at his hands as if you were scared of them⦠these had killed with a gentle touch.
(What? It's true!)
"It'll be alright. What is it?" She wiped the stray tears off her face. She was kind of excited. What could it be?
Ryan took her hands in his carefully, hoping not to hurt her. "I had this vision a while ago, it must have been when Void first possessed me but I figured out how to share visions with people, it's like a video saved in my mind and I'm giving you the link," he explained.
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