forum THE FAM CHAT
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people_alt 10 followers

Deleted user

(It fine
I just have never had anyone tell me stuff like that before and don't know how to react… lol you're good)

@kat_i_am

okay lol
accepting compliments is def a skill and you'll get better at it as you get older
also as it just happens more
(story time: I compliment Jessy all the time and FINALLY I've gotten her to just say thank you instead of negating the compliment. small victories)

Deleted user

I'll tuck away that info for later.
(Compliment or flirt? Lol… probably both. Celebrate your victory.)

@Imperfect_Autumn group

My general response to compliments is a small smile… 'Cause Idk what to say… "Thanks" just seems vain, like I already know that I look nice and don't need the compliments… I mean, no one actually needs them, but it's nice to know other people think we look nice, right?

@kat_i_am

(Compliment or flirt? Lol… probably both. Celebrate your victory.)

yes
both
all the time
(most recent: telling her she's not mediocre (her words, playing off my prior text), that's she's high quality)
but you know
compliments are the best kind of flirting
bc it's just being nice and genuine
flirting without trying too hard

@kat_i_am

My general response to compliments is a small smile… 'Cause Idk what to say… "Thanks" just seems vain, like I already know that I look nice and don't need the compliments… I mean, no one actually needs them, but it's nice to know other people think we look nice, right?

honestly I think thanks is a fine response? Like they shouldn't expect anything more lol?
I, personally, try to return compliments, but that's def not a necessity and you shouldn't return a real compliment with a fake one just to return a compliment

@Natasha

I am HORRIBLE at accepting compliments
I guess I'm just really not used to them
My old friend group that I was stuck for many years treated me like I was invisible and I was only really there when they needed to be rude to someone or something
And all of their compliments were false or sarcastic
So yeah

@kat_i_am

honestly
y'all need more compliments
like I mean, I totally get what you're saying and I totally relate bc I was the same way when I was your guys' age(s)
but like
y'all need more compliments

@Crisis

I never accept compliments unless it's from a stranger. Like, there was this one staff who would always tease me, and I'd just say 'I know' so one day he said he was going to compliment me from now on bc I take that worse than insults and he needed to train me to love myself. It was sweet

@Imperfect_Autumn group

Almost every time I try to look good my stepdad says something along the lines of "You look nice today" and it's honestly really nice. Like, no one else really says that to me, but he's just a cool guy and compliments my mom, my sister, and I when we dress up.

@Natasha

Like honestly that friend group was really toxic and gave me my feeling of constantly being invisible and ignored
But they were my only friends from about ages 6 to 11.

Deleted user

My brother judged everything I did or said… I ended up seeing myself the way he said I was. I'm trying to get out of that way of thinking now but it's still hard for me to see things differently sometimes.

@Imperfect_Autumn group

Ugh, I hate it when people's brothers are jerks. One of my best friends has two older brothers, and one went off the deep end while the other is just a huge jerk. Like, I constantly want to slap both of them.

@kat_i_am

I never accept compliments unless it's from a stranger. Like, there was this one staff who would always tease me, and I'd just say 'I know' so one day he said he was going to compliment me from now on bc I take that worse than insults and he needed to train me to love myself. It was sweet

yes, you do need to love yourself

Almost every time I try to look good my stepdad says something along the lines of "You look nice today" and it's honestly really nice. Like, no one else really says that to me, but he's just a cool guy and compliments my mom, my sister, and I when we dress up.

that's v nice!!! keep him lol

Like honestly that friend group was really toxic and gave me my feeling of constantly being invisible and ignored
But they were my only friends from about ages 6 to 11.

oof yeah they were toxic
but having been in the same situation
I can promise you that you will get past the feeling of constantly being invisible and ignored.
My toxic friend group (really, just one friend, but uh it was bad) was from… 12 to… 16? and it was really terrible. And it took a while
but eventually I found wonderful friends who love me for who I am and we all casually flirt and constantly compliment each other and fangirl together and hug and talk about our lives and the universe and our beliefs and our identities (and like, crushes too, but honestly? there will come a day when your world doesn't revolve around who you like and it's amazing and you will learn so much about the world and about yourself), and it's amazing and has been so good for my mental health and self-esteem
and I PROMISE you
you will get that too.
You will grow up and you will look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are, first one day, then two days, and then every day and then, even better, you will realize that you have always been beautiful.
You will put the past behind you. It hurt, but now, it is the past, and you have learned from it. You will take what you learned and you will apply it and make sure no one ever feels the way you did, that no one is ever treated the way you were. And that will make you a better person.
And bc you're a better person, people will see that and want to be around you, and you will attract better people, positive people, talented people, and again, one day you will realize, you are one of those better, positive, talented people and you always have been
and ppl will compliment you and really TRULY love you because you are an amazing person. And then it's just this amazing cycle of positivity and self-improvement.
And your life will be better.
And one day you will look back and not recognize the hurt, broken, little girl you once were. Because now you are perfectly, exquisitely whole.

@kat_i_am

okay but in other news
I took like 10 minute to type that thing
and I'm so proud of it
I copy-pasted it into a google doc to save forever
read it you nerds (with all love and respect)
and take it to heart and realize that you are the absolute best

@kat_i_am

I'm crying a boatload of tears right now
I really needed to hear that right now
So thank you

no problem sweetheart
I love you, you know that?

<3