Soooo I have this friend who I'm only into AS A FRIEND. I don't have a crush on her and she's straight anyways. But she's really into cuddling and this sounds stupid but I really love it and sometimes she holds my hand and it gives me chills…. I'm pretty into guys and I actually have had the thought that if I was, uhh, not a girl… that I could totally date a girl or a boy but I can't imagine dating a girl as a girl myself… It's weird
If that makes sense….
Sorry to jump into this, but that totally makes sense Collin. (Also a closeted christian queer, in case you were wondering).
okay so you might be bi!!! like me!!!
IDK cause you didn't say this exactly, but if the idea of having sex with girls is what's weirding you out, then you might be biromantic, not bisexual. I figured out that I was ace bc once I id-ed as bisexual, I realized I just was not into sex and I never felt any sexual attraction
that stuff about cuddling and getting chills? oh hon I know exactly what you mean. IDK how much Coluck has told you about the other otp of this group, Kasse, but uh that's me and honestly I have a big crush on my friend Jessy, and like… the Straight Christian I was for 17 years of my life still thinks that dating a girl would be weird. but like… I also love her a lot? And I figure I'm this way for a reason. Maybe I won't ever actually date a girl. Maybe who I was for most of my life will prevent me from doing that.
It's a weird concept to get over/through
But like… it's a process? When I first realized I liked girls as well as boys I was like… no??? I'm supposed to only like boys, not both!!! and then figuring out I was ace too? I was like…
honestly
I felt broken
why am I not like 99% of the world
And it is hard. There is no way around it. But it is also a process. And you just gotta trust the process and keep working through it.
If that makes sense….
It makes perfect sense, but I don't think I'm the right person to give advice on this subject, so I'm just gonna leave it to the other peeps.
sorry that took a long time to type lol
I am also Ace, but not sure about the romantic bit for myself. I think it's very possible you could bi-romantic.
Yeah I totally get that
Is it possible to only be Asexual to only one gender? This is weird but I feel like I could be sexual and romantic with a guy but only really romantic with a girl…… Again sorry if this doesn't make sense…. Also I feel like if I was a guy I could maybe be sexual with a girl…
Guys, just for the info, what does it mean to be Ace? I've never really heard of it before now.
and there's also diff shades of asexuality if that makes sense
and also there's demisexuality
and like… I know I'm like. 100% ace so I don't know exactly how to explain the diff degrees (I think it's called grey-asexuality tho?)
and demisexuality, to my understanding, is when you only feel sexual attraction when you're really close emotionally to a person
I totally get the process your going through too, Collin. (Like Kat said though, not with the gender bit, I can't imagine how hard that must be).
I thought I was straight, then bi, then pan, and it was honestly so confusing. For two whole years I just couldn't figure out what my sexuality was and it left me more then a little messed up.
I finally found out was Asexuality was, and it just clicked.
My point is, you might feel really confused right now, but you just gotta hang in there. You WILL eventually figure everything out,. :)
Guys, just for the info, what does it mean to be Ace? I've never really heard of it before now.
I'm so glad you asked!
Ace is short for asexual, which means we just don't have sexual attraction to other people. There are diff "shades," as I explained above, so even though I don't experience any, there may be an ace who experiences v little.
It's not super common or well-known, only about 1% of the global pop is estimated to be ace
Some aces are sex-repulsed (the idea of sex disgusts them, and they don't ever wanna do it (hi, that's me)), while others might have sex with their partner who they love a lot or to get pregnant.
Asexuality is when you are attracted to neither gender in a sexual way.
I totally get the process your going through too, Collin. (Like Kat said though, not with the gender bit, I can't imagine how hard that must be).
I thought I was straight, then bi, then pan, and it was honestly so confusing. For two whole years I just couldn't figure out what my sexuality was and it left me more then a little messed up.
I finally found out was Asexuality was, and it just clicked.
My point is, you might feel really confused right now, but you just gotta hang in there. You WILL eventually figure everything out,. :)
yes def
you will find a click point
I felt a whole lot more comfortable id-ing as ace and biromantic than as bisexual
Honestly, I really wish there was more Ace representation in the media, because seven year old me who kept faking having crushes on boys and felt like a weirdo for not really feeling anything towards anyone, could have really used an Ace role-model.
I guess all of it is scary. I wish I had a family like Chuck's or Collin's sometimes, or at least their openmindedness
I totally get the process your going through too, Collin. (Like Kat said though, not with the gender bit, I can't imagine how hard that must be).
I thought I was straight, then bi, then pan, and it was honestly so confusing. For two whole years I just couldn't figure out what my sexuality was and it left me more then a little messed up.
I finally found out was Asexuality was, and it just clicked.
My point is, you might feel really confused right now, but you just gotta hang in there. You WILL eventually figure everything out,. :)yes def
you will find a click point
I felt a whole lot more comfortable id-ing as ace and biromantic than as bisexual
Even the words "Bi and Pan" didn't feel right. Ace did. You just gotta find the one that feels right.
Honestly, I really wish there was more Ace representation in the media, because seven year old me who kept faking having crushes on boys and felt like a weirdo for not really feeling anything towards anyone, could have really used an Ace role-model.
yeah me too
I didn't get my first crush until I was 14
and I was totally faking it
and then my first real crush I was like 15
but my crushes rarely last more than a few months (and I've had 4 total)
Oh, hey, that actually kind of sounds like me.
My family isn't really open-minded at all, but I think they would probably be ok if I came out as Ace. Just know Collin, even if they don't except you, there is a heck of a lot of people who will, including us.
Oh, hey, that actually kind of sounds like me.
Really?
YEp
And if they give you crap, let me know. I will end them
I guess all of it is scary. I wish I had a family like Chuck's or Collin's sometimes, or at least their openmindedness
oof I def get it
I'm closeted as heck
but like (idk how old you are, I'm guessing around the same age)
once you're financially independent and moved out of your parents house
I hear it gets much easier
like it's never easy
but you know
you're less likely to have your life fall apart if your fam doesn't support you
ALSO:: your family is on a learning curve too
I had a really big one when my older brother came out to me
as did my parents
It's less of a sexuality thing that a gender thing… The sexuality is confusing but I could tell my parents rn that I was gay… my gender would affect me physically and they dont understand that it wont personally. They would never let me be me if they knew
COLLIN WE ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE
violently accepts Collin
heads up I might have to leave in a few minutes and I might not get to say bye
so if I drop off the face of the earth
that's why
(just going to family's house to eat dinner and make my bday cake and then eat it lol :D, even tho my bday isn't until tomorrow)
vicious hugs
COLLIN I ACCEPT YOU MY CHILD