There's a shift in the bed, right behind him. Bel's eyes open to slits, too sleepy to fully open them. "Hi," he drawls, looking over his shoulder at Nico. He smiles softly before relaxing and having his head hit the pillow. He finds himself fully leaning into Nico's touch, sleep already retaking him.
Bel doesn't dream that night, thank the gods. For the first time in a week he sleeps through the entire night with Nico right there beside him. The blankets are warm and the mattress is soft and he only gains consciousness again when he hears the morning songbirds twittering outside.
Nico kissed his cheek softly. "Go back to bed," he murmured, pulling the blankets over them and tucking them in. He had one arm wrapped around Bel's stomach and the other one under his head. As soon as Nico's head was settle on the pillow he was out. He had hoped he was too tired to be able to dream but that was not the case.
His sleep was riddle with paralyzing nightmares that eventually pulled him out of sleep. His eyes snapped opened, breathing heavy. He carefully untagled himself from Bel so not to wake up him before padding into the little room. He grabbed a glass and a bottle of whiskey, filling the glass and taking a drink. He repeated that two more times before filling the glass and taking a small sip before putting it on the small coffee table. He brought a hand to his head, rubbing it.
Bel stirs, rolling into the space of the bed where Nico should be. When he's met with nothing but cold sheets, his eyes snap open. He feels the empty half of the bed, just to make sure, and then sits up. Okay. Nico rises with the sun, so Bek doesn't consider it too odd, but he at least expected to be woken up with a kiss and a good morning.
Carefully, Bel slides out of the bed, taking a thinner blanket with him to wrap around his shoulders. "Nico?: He calls, stepping out of the bedroom and into a smaller one. He smells the alcohol first, already unnerving enough but even more so this early in the morning. And then he sees Nico standing beside a table with whiskey. "Love, are you alright?" He asks, slowly appraoching the other man.
Nico had long since stopped drinking. Or at least stopped pouring more. He had settled on the one glass he had slowly been drinking over the past hour or so. He was exactly sure. His sense of time wasn't the best in his state at the moment. He wasn't drunk but he wasn't necessarily sober either.
He jumped, startled at the sound. He turned to see Bel standing there and gave him a small, sad smile. "I'm fine love, go back to sleep." He didn't want to burden Bel with his nightmares.
"It's morning," Bel states. How long has Nico been here? Has he lost track of time? "Did you sleep at all last night?" Was Bel sleeping through Nico's suffering? Guilt curls deep within his chest. He should've been awake. He should've been there–
The alcohol causes bile to raise in Bel's throat but he pushes it down, approaching Nico. He unwraps the blanket from his shoulders and drapes it across Nico. "We promised no more lies," he says quietly, coming face to face with Nico.
Nico just sighted softly, smiling as he accepted the blanket. He took a couple stumbling steps to the couch and sat down. Though if it was because of the alcohol or lack of sleep, he didn't know. He motioned for Bel to come sit next to him if he wanted to.
"Just bad dreams, that's all. I didn't want to wake you. You need your sleep." Nico was exhausted but he knew if he went to sleep it would just be plauged with more nightmares.
"Do you think you could at least try to sleep again?" Bel asks, taking a seat right beside Nico. Their thighs are pressed together, their shoulder blades touching. "Maybe if you took smaller naps throughout the day?" That's what had worked for Bel after his mother died. He found sleeping in the day wad much easier than the night.
"And don't feel bad about waking me," Bel responds. "Please, you're more important to me than another hour of sleep." I'd rather you let me hold you than go to the alcohol first thing, is what he doesn't say.
Nico placed his glass on the side table, seemingly done with it. As Bel came to sit next to him, he draped the blanket over both of them, resting his head on top of Bel's. "To doesn't matter," he finally said. "Whethere it's just a nap or all night I'm going to have nightmares."
It had taken him months the first time to just be able to sleep through the night, more until the nightmares finally subsided. He knew this was going to take awhile. He was going to be in a state of exhaustion for a long time. Until the nightmares just finally stopped. Drinking did the trick last time. But he had drank himself to oblivion then and that wasn't as appealing now. Not with Bel.
"Stay here," he started to get up, "let me go brush my teeth." He knew Bel hated it. The smell, the drinking. He wanted to at least wash it off of his breath. He trudged to the makeshift bathroom, managing to only trip twice and brush his teeth. He didn't bother looking at his reflection in the mirror. He knew he looked like hell. When he finished, he came back to the couch and all but collapsed on it.
Bel's face twists as he tries to think of a proper solution. Treya's an alchemist–perhaps she could brew a tonic for a long and dreamers sleep. Something that would block memories and dreams for only a few hours. He'll have to ask, both his sister and Nico. It'll be a better alternative to drinking himself to unconsciousness.
Bel watches ad nico stands and heads to the small bathroom. He hides a smile behind the hand rubbing his cheek. It's considerate. Sad, but considerate. Nico trips twice and Bel wants to run to help him, but Bel deems it better to give the man his space. "You look terrible," Bel notes as Nico returns to collapse on the couch. He opens his arms and allows Nico to slump into them. "I know you have a lot to do today, but at least be kind to your body. For me." It's his turn to rest his chin atop of Nico's head.
Nico immediately collapsed into those open arms, moving his body down so he was able to rest his head on Bel's chest. He huffed a small laugh at the words. "Thanks," he pinched his side, "that's what no sleep and alcohol do to you." He was half lying half sitting on the couch. It wasn't very comfortable but as long as Bdl was holding him he didn't feel like moving.
Nico felt as terrible as he probably looked. His head was clouded and anytime he tried to focus on anything his head immediately kept showing him memories of his time in captivity. It was why he was drinking. It helped keep his mind clouded but he didn't like it. Not this time around. "We have to get up soon," he murmured. He made no move to actually get up. Despite the uncomfortable position he was quite comfortable.
"Maybe drink some tea instead of alcohol," Bel suggests with a shrug. "Your liver might last longer." He kisses Nico's head, and then kisses it again. "If you need to find particular teas, I went through a spell were that's all I made. I had a tiny herb garden right on my balcony. Lavender, chamomile, camellia, lemon, raspberry–" He laughs thinking about how excited he was at sixteen to wake up every morning and water them. After a rough winter, they couldn't blossom and grow back. Maybe once he finally has a permanent home, he'll be able to start up his small garden again.
Bel makes a face. They do have to get up soon. With the events Nico had just been through, his condition will get better, but just very slowly. Travelling can't be healthy for him. But the Solstice is in three months and they don't have time to just sit and recover. When they arrive in Blakkast, Sella is sure to give them the means to recover.
Nico laughed quietly, turning his face into his chest. "You're probably right," he muttered. He shifted his body so he lowered until his head was resting it on Bel's lap. He smiled sleepily up at Bel, yawning. But he knew better than to try to go to sleep. It wouldn't go well. He had gone longer without sleep before, before, and after he had been captured. He could do this, even if every bone of his body was screaming for him to go to sleep. "We can try some tea tonight if it pleases you. Maybe it will work." He didn't think it would, however. It might delay the nightmares and allow him to get another hour or so but the nightmares would come.
Just another hour. Just a little bit longer. He would just shut his eyes and relax. But he couldn't stop his eyes from shutting and slipping off to sleep. But it didn't last long. It took less than half an hour before his eyes were snapping open and gasping for air.
"I would like that," Bel says right before the man in his lap closes his eyes. Nico slowly begins to drift off and Bel takes his time slowly carding his fingers through his hair. It's in desperate need of a good washing–perhaps they could attend to that later in the day. Bel loses track of time as he messes with the sleeping king's hair. Outside their comfortable tent, he can hear the rest of the camp wake up and begin their day, beginning to prepare for the week's travel ahead of them.
Bel's just finishing his fourth small braid in Nico's hair when he stirs and jolts awake. Thinking quickly or not at all, Bel moves his arms away, not wanting to cage Nico in when he's recovering from a sudden nightmare. "Hey–" Bel starts softly. "Nico, hey, you're okay–" Bel doesn't even know if the other man can hear him. Bel knows he's not fully operational when he wakes from a nightmare, perhaps Nico is the same. "Love, can you hear me?" He places a careful hand on Nico's shoulder, hopefully grounding him rom the terrors of the sleep.
Nioc sat up straight, breathing hard and heavy. He was stating at the floor, tears stinging his eyes and he brought a hand up to rub them away. He startled when a hand touched his shoulder, jumping. He was glad that was his only reaction because when he noticed Bel he realized how much worse he coukd have reacted. One time he had put Cassian in a chokehokd for waking him from a nightmare before he even realized he had done it.
He brought one hand up to his hair to brush it back, stopping when he noticed the braids. He didn't want to ruin Bel's work in his hair. He nodded slightly. "I'm okay," he said quietly and not at all convincing. "It just is what it is. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He put his hand on top of the one Bel had placed on his shoulder, squeezing it.
Bel briefly retracts his hand as if he had been burned, but then quickly replaces it when he notices how Nico relaxed. "It's okay to not be okay," Bel says softly. "You know… You know he can't hurt you anymore, right? He's dead." Bel doesn't say Ronan's name, worried of how Nico could react. Miran told him the day before that he killed Ronan himself, unknowing that it was the same man who tortured Nico for months. "You're safe." Bel may not be able to hold a sword or win a fistfight, but he's damn determined to ensure nothing will happen to Nico again. Nico doesn't deserve the torment and the torture–
"Would it help if we got you a sleep tonic? Something that could knock you out for a few hours. You wouldn't have to worry about nightmares," Bel suggests.
Nico finally turned to face Bel. He tried to smile but he just couldn't manage to lift his lips. "He haunts me, Bel. He always will. I'll be free of him even if he's dead." He knew he was safe from Ronan. At least physically. But mentally, he would always be with him. He knew there would be good days and bad days. And there were still many bad days ahead of him. He hoped it wouldn't take as long as last time. Last time had been hell. He didn't know if he could go through that again. It had almost been too much for him then.
He sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "I've tried a few and it never really helped. Just kept me in the nightmare longer." He only tried a couple. Sleeping droughts weren't necessary for the camp so he never pressed the issue. he didn't want to seem weak in front of his people. He couldn't be weak to them. Not with everything on the line.
There will always be bad days, no matter what. Bel has bad days of his own, Nico will have plenty of bad days ahead. The prince squeezes Nico's shoulder before rotating his hand to link their fingers. "Just don't deal with your demons alone," Bel says quietly, leaning forward to press a kiss to Nico's forehead. "I love you too much to watch you go through that."
"What if we made our own solution? My sister is a skilled alchemist and I'm sure she could help us with something that could turn your memories off for the night." While mages use magic to solve things, Treya has always been one to use chemistry and science to fix her problems. At only fourteen, she had been the one to manufacture a fireproof salve for the soldiers fighting mages of fire.
Nico's eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the kiss. He breathed a small sigh at the touch. "Bel, the things I've faced, the dreams I have, it would frighten you too much. I can't do that to you." He couldn't watch the horror on his face grow on Bel's face as he told him the things he saw in his sleep, everything he had gone through. "I love you too much to put you through that."
He squeezed Bel's fingers without hurting him. He thought for a moment. "Do you really think she would do that for me? The man that kidnapped her brother?" He didn't think that Treya would do anything for Nico. He had taken her brother and forced him along the road with him. He had put him in several dangerous positions and had hurt him and broken his trust.
Nico's right. Bel knows it'll make him sick to know the horrors that Nico had gone through. "I just…" He sighs, absently dismantling the braids along Nico's scalp. "I don't want you to go through this alone. You don't have to." I'm here. I'm always here. "And I'm sure I'll be able to convince Treya of anything with a few well-baked brownies."
His younger sister has a devilish sweet tooth. She often sucked on chocolates as she worked in labs or licked at lollipops when walking through the halls of their palace. Really, it only cements the fact that she's so young. She only turned seventeen a few weeks prior. He's going to have to make her a cake. A brownie cake. That would kill two birds with one stone. "You could have a brownie too if you'd like." He smiles at that. If he can't help Nico through his nightmares, maybe he can help him distract from them.
Nico reached his hand forward to softly stroke the skin on Bel's neck. Finally, his lips turned into a smile. "I'm not alone, not anymore. I'll tell you what I can but sometimes talking about it doesn't make it better." Sometimes it just kept the memories fresh and kept the resurfacing. And he would sugar coat it as much as he coukd so he didn't disturb Bel too much. He loved him but he didn't do very well with violence.
"I would love a brownie. With extra chocolate." He leaned in to kiss Bel's nose affectionately. "Remember what I said. I'll eat anything you make me, even if it's terrible." He leaned in to kiss him softly. "Would you like to come bathe with me before we have to leave?"
(Ahjfdjs don't question how it works when they're in tents, I didn't get that far ahead in planning that haha)
(alskdfj noted. they are in State of the Art tents)
"Mm," Bel hums into the kiss, his eyes closing. "I'll have you know that I have never made disgusting food in my life. I'm the jack of every trade–well, except sword fighting, but that's always been Miran's subject." He smiles and pulls away, already moving to stand. "If I don't have to do anything but look pretty at your side, I suppose I can get started on those brownies. I missed Treya's birthday granted we were in different kingdoms and I was being kidnapped, so I owe it to her." And I owe a proper dessert to you.
A slightly warm, slightly mischievous look crosses his eyes. "Love, you know I'll always love to join you in whatever you'd like."
Nico watched as Bel began to stand, keeping one hand clasped with his. "You can do whatever you would like to by my side." If Bel wanted to be apart of his war meetings he would let him. If he wanted to sit on politics, he could. If he wanted a job, Nico would give him whatever job he wanted. Bel had freedom to do as he wanted here. Nico wasn't going to force him into a role he didn't want. "I can't wait for those brownies then."
He laughed softly. "Go start the bath then. It's right through there," he pointed in the direction of the bathroom. "I'll be right along."
Bel gives Nico one last kiss before letting his hand go and heading towards the bathroom. "Oh, wait–" Bel stops and turns. "Do you think you could get my bag from Elora's tent? I don't know which one it is." A pause. "They all look the same." He offers an apologetic smile and a shrug before turning back into the bathroom.
It's a quaint thing, proportional to the rest of the small tent. The tub sits against the back wall. There's a small rack of soaps, but nothing entirely indulgent. When they arrive in Blakkast, Bel's going to request only the finest bubbles for him and Nico. Perhaps ones that smell of roses–Bel's always loved the smell of roses. He doesn't even care that it's considered cliche.
Bel sits on the edge of the tub, starts the water, and tests to ensure that it's warm before he plugs it. It takes a moment, but Bel doesn't mind. He looks out the bathroom door to see if he can spot Nico.
Nico laughed at the words. He supposed all the tents did look the same to an outsider. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." It was early still and very few people were out. There were soldiers guarding along the perimeter and a few walking through camp. The cooks were already set up in the mess tent starting on breakfast. Breakfast was more of a first come first serve kind of deal. It wasn't like dinner where they all ate together.
He found Elora's tent and ducked in, hoping to go unnoticed. He found the backpack and shoved all the belongings inside it. But as he made to leave the tent something, or rather someone, got hold of hos ear. "Ow ow ow." He was being pulled down to her height. She had her eyes narrowed him, looking at him with distaine. "You better treat that boy right, boy. And you owe me. I better be set up in a nice room in the palace with a good view and all the books I want."
"Yes, of course. Anything you want, mom." Because the woman did insist being called mom by their group. Most of them didn't have any family left so she took up the role of all of their moms. "Mhm, now run along. Don't keep your prince waiting." And when he released her, he was out the tent with his tail tucked between his legs.
As he entered his tent, he took the backpack with him to the bathroom. He pulled the flap away to the bathroom, revealing the small room. But the only thing he cared about was Bel. He set down the pack and strode over to the prince, bracing his hands on either side of him on the tub. "Did you miss me?" He asked even though he was only gone a few minutes.
While he has a moment alone, Bel allows himself to fully recap on everything that's happened in the past day. It's been a lot–almost too much. Bel's back with his siblings, he's learned the truth behind all Nico's lies, he's forgiven Nico anyways. It's understandable. It's a second chance for them to be honest and true. A second chance where they're on the same team after the same goal.
Bel's busy testing the water, the faucet to loud to hear Nico come in. He startles when Nico's suddenly caging in him, nearly falling back into the water if he hadn't grabbed the front of Nico's shirt to keep his balance. He takes a moment to regain himself and then smiles, holding back his embarrassed laugh. "Yes," He says, leaning in close. "I missed you terribly." He kisses Nico softly. "Thank you for getting my stuff."
(Hdhsjs yes bc he totally got dressed before going out in only his underwear haha)
Nico hadn't meant to startle Bel but he couldn't say he minded it as Vel grabbed onto his shirt to steady himself. He responded to the kiss, groaning as it was over all too soon in his opinion. "Of course, my love." He looked down at the bath and then at the soaps he had. "I don't have anything here for you to wash your hair but we'll pick something up on the road alright?"
He didn't want Bel to be uncomfortable to ask him for certain things, and this was one of them. He stood to his full height and grabbed the back of his shirt, pulling it off of his head. Standing there shirtless, Nico grinned down at Bel. "Come on. We have a bath waiting for us. Don't want to ket it get cold."
(laksdjf i strike Nico as the confident type, but I doubt he'd march through the camp mostly naked)
"It's alright; I don't mind," Bel says. He still has a few more days until his hair absolutely requires washing. At least he doesn't mind the dry hair he inherited from his father. When Nico moves away, Bel has to move to grab the lip of the tub so he doesn't lose his balance again. Bel looks up at Nico with a small smile. The scars coating his chest hold a different meaning now–the healing ones from a dreadful event. He isn't sure if Nico's ready for Bel to touch them, especially with Ronan so fresh in his mind, so Bel keeps his hands at his side, just looking up at Nico.
He waits for Nico to step away before Bel stands, quickly undressing and folding his borrowed clothes to set on the sink basin. He quickly shuts the faucet off and submerges his hand into the water, testing it and making sure it's not too hot for him.
(Maybe if he was drunk ajdbdb)
Nico watched, still clothed in his pants, as Bel stripped away his clothes. Technically they were Nico's clothes but he liked them on Bel. "You should wear my clothes more often. They look good on you." There was soemthung about Bel wearing his clothes and being covered in his smell that made Nico smile. It wasn't him "staking his claim" necessarily. More like Bel telling everyone that he had chosen Nico. Even if the prince didn't wear the clothes outside. That was alright.
Finally, he finished stripping off the rest of his clothes and stepped into the bath. He offered his hand to help Bel in and settled down in the water. He sat there for a few minutes, just smiling lazily and stroking his side. He knew he was on a time restraint and that they would come hunting him down if he didn't show up soon but he couldn't force himself to go any faster. He was home and with the man he loved. Everything else coukd wait a little while.
"It's okay to touch them." It hadn't escaped Nico that Bel had looked at his scars. He didn't mind the touch, at least not from Bel. Anyone else and he would have likely tried to break their wrist, at least after warning them. But Bel was different and he loved his touches.
Bel's sure that he at least smells like Nico's clothes after wearing them for the night. He managed to pin the smell back to when he had first met Nico and his men. He had always wondered whose clothes he had borrowed for the first two weeks, and it makes him unreasonably happy that it had been Nico's clothes he was wearing.
He accepts Nico's hand and slowly gets into the tub. It's too narrow to sit side-by-side, so Bel rests his back on the opposite side of the tub, staring at Nico. It's still short enough that it's hard not to brush up against each other. "I don't want to invade your space," he says carefully.
Nico only smiled. He looked terrible still, those dads circles still present under his eyes, shades of purple. His cheeks had hollowed in, from days without eating or sleeping. His body was still slumped as though he was ready to drop. And he was ready to. He was so tired but he had things to do. Sleep would wait. Sleep riddled with nightmares. He had a small bit of hope that Bel's sister could create something to help him Sleep but he couldn't hold onto that.
"It's okay, you're not." He took Bel's hand and placed it on his chest, over one of his scars. "You can touch them. I want you to."
