forum | Lgbtq+ | OPEN

Started May 10, 2018 by @darkeyes

tune

(yep can already see that coming) Kaz squirmed a little at the positon change. He was a small bit of a restless sleeper, and he shifted again so one leg was slung around Vaughn's lap

(Lmao ye. When do you think we should do a skip or something??)

Vaughn exhaled a bit sharper that time from the contact before falling quiet and still again, Kaz’s body providing a bit of comforting heat.

(Alrighty)

Vaughn’s eyes slowly opened, his sight blurred with grogginess. He looked up at the ceiling and didn’t recognize where he was for a moment. But he soon remembered he had been at Kaz’s apartment. He must have fallen asleep while there. He moved to get up, but noticed there was a weight in his lap and partly next to him. He blinked a few times and tilted his head down, eyes going wide at the sight. Kaz was asleep on top of him?! And Vaughn was still gripping onto his hip with one hand, the other having moved to rest on Kaz’s thigh.

Vaughn gave a sudden curse, half shoving Kaz off him and back onto the couch as he leapt to his feet. His breaths were coming sharp and quick, and there was a heavy pressure in his lungs and throat. He didn’t have his medication on him.

Kaz was jolted awake, swearing something in German as he hit the floor. “Ay, what was-“ He cut himself off at the sight of Vaughn hyperventilating in front of him. He got to his feet, holding a hand up in placation. “Hey, hey, you’re alright. You’re safe,” he said, trying to keep his voice quiet but comforting

“Don’t,” Vaughn hissed when Kaz neared him, flinching back sharply. He pressed a hand to his throat, nails digging into the skin as he took in a few sharp gasps. He looked around, a desperate look in his eyes, something like the look of a caged animal. He suddenly bolted into the kitchen, yanking a window open. He was half sticking out the window as he took breaths of fresh air.

Kaz didn’t move, afraid Vaughn might react violently. “I’ve got some anti-anxiety pills in the kitchen, do you need some?” He asked quietly from where he was

Vaughn simply nodded, afraid his voice would come out choked. He still was Hal out the window, trying to remember breathing exercises he was taught as a boy during psychoanalysis meetings. In for three, hold for three, out for four. Repeat.

Kaz walked over to the kitchen, going through the cupboards until he found his stash of his old anxiety meds. He took them over to Vaughn, trying to give him the bottle without getting too close

Vaughn looked over, the same glint in his eyes as he grabbed the bottle. He opened it and didn't bother to check the dosage as he poured a few into his palm before putting them into his mouth. He dry swallowed them, coughing a tad afterwards as he grimaced. He stayed standing by the window, arms against the windowsill and his forehead on his arms.

Kaz stood there for a moment before sitting cross-legged on the floor a few feet from him. “Are you gonna be okay?” He asked quietly, concern clear on his face

Vaughn stayed in the same position as he had been previously. The pressure slowly lifted from his lungs, and he could begin to breathe normally again. He simply shrugged his shoulders at the sound of Kaz’s voice. But he didn’t want to think about that right now. Didn’t want to think about him. It just reminded him about how Kaz had been on him. Vaughn didn’t know how to properly deal with it in a healthy manner.

Kaz sat there for a moment. "Do…Do you need a distraction or something? Does physical contact help?" he asked, going through the list of things that tended to help him when he was having an anxiety attack

(Oof)

Vaughn shrugged again. “I haven’t dealt with this around others in a long time,” he murmured lightly. He didn’t know how to deal with it. He usuallly would just get a burning hot shower or something. Warmth helped.

"Do…Do you need me to leave?" It was meant to come out as an offer, but it just sounded sad. "You can make yourself at home and I can go out for an hour or something."

(I’d say sure, go on ahead)

Vaughn held up a hand and shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’ll go,” he said in a leveled tone, standing up straight and shutting the window.

Kaz got to his feet, still keeping his distance just in case. "You don't have to if you don't want to. I…" he trailed off, trying to find the right words. "I don't want you to go through something like this alone. Because it sucks ass when you don't have someone to help."

Vaughn shook his head again. “This is not your problem to deal with,” he responded, grey eyes narrowing softly.

"That's not the point," Kaz said softly. He wasn't quite sure at first, but he genuinely cared about Vaughn. And he worried that if Vaughn left he might do something rash, like turn himself into the cops, or…or try to do what Kaz had done before. And he'd be damned if he let anyone suffer through that when he could have done something to help. "Look, you may not like it but I'm your friend now. And I'm not going to let you go home and suffer when I can help."

Vaughn let out a sharp sigh, rubbing at his jaw. Dammit, I really need to shave still. “Alright.. But I would feel much safer going back to my place,” he murmured, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his suit jacket.

"Then we can go to your place together," Kaz suggested, already reaching for his hoodie and leather jacket he had thrown on the back of the couch

Vaughn nodded and walked to the door, making sure Kaz would follow before walking out into the hall. He lowered his head a tad in an attempt to hide his features a bit more.

Kaz followed behind him, throwing his hoodie and jacket on before turning to lock the door behind them. He sped up a little until he was walking next to Vaughn. Noticing the way he was ducking his head he walked a tad bit in front of him, standing up taller to help hide his figure in case someone saw them

Vaughn left the building, walking over to his truck that was parked across the lot. He fished his keys from his pocket and walked to the drivers side and unlocked the truck. He got inside, and once Kaz was in, he started it up.

Kaz got in quietly, wrapping his arms around himself as he looked out the window. It had really begun to rain now, the sound of it muffled inside the truck

Vaughn drove down the road in silence. It was growing dark by that point. He wondered how long he had slept at Kaz’s. It was before the afternoon when he went over. He must have been there for a while. Kaz must have been sleeping on top of him for a while. He didn’t like the feeling that bubbled up in his stomach when he thought about it. Eventually, he pulled up to the abandoned gas station and parked in the lot before shutting the car off.

Kaz got out of the truck, putting his hood on to keep his glasses from getting wet. It bothered him when they were smudged, so he tried his best to keep them clean all the time. He squinted at the gas station. "You live here?" he asked, more curious than anything. He had assumed by the way Vaughn dressed he would be at least staying in a hotel or something

Vaughn hummed in response and nodded his head. He got out of the truck and walked over to the front doors, not seeming to mind that he was getting soaked by the rain. He unlocked the front doors and stepped inside, walking over to the counter towards the back, shrugging his wet suit jacket off.