The realization hit Kokichi pretty hard. He was silent for a moment as his mind went back and forth between denying it and accepting it. He stood there, shaking with tears forming in his eyes. He wanted to argue against it, but he knew that everything that Kiibo said was the truth. He knew that he was going to die at one point or another, and now was the time for him to accept it.
"Kiiboy…I…I'm sorry…" Kokichi cried, tears freely falling down his face.
He said nothing else. All he told Kiibo was that he was sorry. He was sorry that he was going to die. He felt like it was all his fault, that he could've prevented this by taking better care of himself. He never knew that it was a genetic condition that was killing him. He felt incredibly guilty in that moment as he stood there and sobbed.
It's all my fault…! I could've prevented this…! he told himself as he stood, trembling, in Kiibo's arms. Kiiboy's gonna lose the one person he loves, and it's my fault…! I'm just letting myself die like the idiot that I am…! Kiiboy…I am so sorry… I don't wanna die…and I'm sorry that I have to be dying… I could have done better if I tried…but I didn't…
As he continued thinking, he began to full on sob. He couldn't help it. He was terrified of death, and he felt guilty for what happened. He was shaking a lot as he held onto Kiibo, silent aside from his sobs. He couldn't handle it all, but he accepted it.
Kiibo shook his head “ it's not your fault.” he whispered as he kissed kokichis temples. “ it was never your fault” he whispered
While Kokichi knew that KIibo wouldn't lie to him, he had a hard time believing that this situation wasn't his fault. He didn't know why he was dying, so he thought that his stubbornness was finally catching up to him. He felt an immense guilt in that moment, but there was a feeling stronger than guilt. He was completely terrified of dying and leaving Kiibo, which overpowered the guilt he felt at the moment.
"O-okay…so…maybe…maybe it's not…b-but…" he started, speaking through sobs, "I'm still sorry… You…you're gonna…lose me… I…I don't…I don't wanna die, Kiiboy…! I…I just…wanna…be with you… Forever… I-I don't…wanna leave you… I don't wanna die…"
He went from beginning to sob to excessively sobbing as he spoke. His fear showed, as did how much he hated to worry Kiibo like he was. He was terrified, unable to calm down, even in Kiibo's embrace. It all hit him at once. The emotions were far too overwhelming, and the physical effects of the stress were bound to hit him and make this situation worse.
(We can add fluff for a while after this angst is over, I promise)
Kiibo let crying “ I'm sorry ko”
Kokichi stopped crying as he was far too exhausted to keep expressing his sadness. He calmed down a bit, his breathing beginning to even out again, but he was still upset. He knew that he'd just have to come to live with the fact that he'd die. He just wanted Kiibo as the exhaustion began to take over.
Kokichi shook his head. "N-no…" he replied softly. "I-it's not your fault… Also…I…I just want you… I-I'm sleepy…"
“ I'll hold you,” he whispered
Kokichi nodded again as he held onto Kiibo. He was tired. All he wanted was to go home and go to sleep in Kiibo's arms. He knew that he wouldn't get better, but he knew that he wanted to spend every day that he was healthy with Kiibo. That always brought him happiness whether he was sick or healthy, so he knew that his final months would be okay as long as he was with Kiibo.
"Th-thank you…" Kokichi whispered. "Can we…go home…?"
“ yes we can,” he said softly and picked kokichi up
Kokichi was happier once Kiibo picked him up. Being in Kiibo's arms never failed to make him feel better. No matter what was going on with him, Kiibo would always bring a smile to Kokchi's face. Despite being told that he was about to die, he was smiling. He seemed to be at peace. Kiibo had that effect on him. Kiibo made him incredibly happy despite it all. He couldn't have been happier to have Kiibo.
As they started to walk home, there was a light breeze. Kokichi started shivering, as he was rather cold. It was clear that his condition was beginning to slightly worsen again. He was getting sick again, but he didn't care. He just focused on being with Kiibo. That made everything better.
Kiibo turned on his heater “ better?” he asked softly as he smile
Kokichi nodded happily as Kiibo turned on his heater. That always helped him feel better. The warmth that came from it was amazing. It made him feel warm no matter how cold he had felt before Kiibo turned it on. He was just happy to be with Kiibo. The other's warmth and touch made Kokichi happy. Nothing could ruin how he felt when he was with Kiibo, even the fact that he was going to die soon.
"Thanks, Kiiboy…" he smiled softly before yawning. "This feels nice…"
Kokichi smiled softly as he and Kiibo returned home. He was glad to be back home after the day's events. All he wanted was to go to sleep and cuddle with Kiibo.
"Kiiboy…cuddles…" he requested sleepily. "Now…"
Kokichi pouted a bit at Kiibo's comment. It was clearly playful in nature, though. He was known for being playfully over-dramatic for seemingly no reason at all. He was in a good mood, although he was incredibly exhausted. He was already half asleep when they arrived back home. He would probably be sleep not long after they started cuddling.
"Yay…" Kokichi yawned before giving Kiibo a sleepy smile. "Cuddles…"
“ yeah cuddles” he said after laying kokichi down
Kokichi quickly snuggled up to Kiibo once they laid down. He smiled softly as he fell asleep quickly. He truly was out within a few seconds as he was exhausted. He slept peacefully throughout the night, snuggling closely to Kiibo the entire time. The other's heat brought him warmth. Of course, by the time that Kokichi woke up, due to his condition, he felt sick, but he didn't say anything at first, opting to simply hold onto Kiibo.
Kiibo was sleeping almost silently, holding onto kokichi
Kokichi didn't mind. He preferred to have Kiibo around him. It helped him feel better. He was tempted to wake Kiibo up, but he assumed that Kiibo already knew that he was feeling sick at the time. He just let his boyfriend sleep for a while, holding onto him in silence. The other truly did help him feel better, so he was at peace as he just enjoyed being in Kiibo's arms. He enjoyed the warmth of the other's heater as well. Everything made him considerably happy despite how he was feeling. All he wanted then was for Kiibo to wake up.
Kiibo did eventually wake, looking down at kokichi
"Morning, Kiiboy…" Kokichi yawned as he looked at Kiibo. His voice was a bit raspy, but given as he was sick again, that was nothing out of the ordinary.
Kokichi shrugged. "Eh… I could be better…" he replied honestly. "I-I have you…but I…I don't feel good…"
“ do you need me to let you up?”
Kokichi shook his head. "I-I just wanna cuddle with you… I-I really don't feel good…but you make me feel better…"
“ okay baby.. “ he said softly
Kokichi held onto Kiibo even tighter than he already was. "Just…just hold me…"
