forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by Deleted user

tune

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(sorry for the wait! Been struggling with some writer's block and I didn't want to give you a shitty reply)

"I…" he trailed off, shaking his head faintly. "I don't know." he replied quietly. "And…let's hope it does not come to that, darling." he kissed Arquis's cheek softly, trying to soothe their partner. "I am sorry for pressing you on this, but it is important." they exhaled quietly, eyes remaining on their partner as they continued trying to soothe him. They knew that this was a difficult topic for Arquis, and they wanted to try and steer the conversation away from it now.

Ari was quiet, his fingers laced through Honey's. He didn't speak, not wanting to interrupt the conversation when it had nothing to do with him.

(you’re perfectly fine! would it help at all to make some changes in the story, or is this more of a temporary thing do you think?)

Arquis didn't look relieved, even when they kissed his cheek. Normally, such a gesture would make him melt, but he instead seemed to tense even further. He stood abruptly once more. Honey watched in concern as the nobleman squeezed his partner on the shoulder, mumbled something about needing a moment, and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He shut and locked the door behind him. There came the sound of water running in the bath, but no noises of him actually getting in. Curls of steam began to drift from out under the door.

Honey tilted his head, confused. "Huh. Does he do that often? Y'know what, never mind. That's not important." He leaned back on the nearest pillow and studied Rin. "Pretty strong reaction to asking about his dad. Think he really was involved somehow?"

(Oh we don't have to make any changes! I've just been feeling pretty low energy recently, but it's unrelated to the RP :)

Rin watched him go, hoping that his partner wasn't throwing up in there. "He…" he glanced over at Honey, trying to think of how to respond to that question. "I don't know. His family has never been kind to him." they finally said, not going into any more detail than that. "I would prefer not to speculate on his involvement." he didn't know if Arquis had been involved or not, but either way, they did not wish to debate it with Honey. It was not a judgement against Honey, but simply something he did not wish to engage in.

(aw I'm sorry to hear that! writer's block is the worst)

Honey nodded and bit back his next response. For now, at least, he was willing to drop the subject. He stroked his thumb along the side of Ari's hand and then let his head drop against his shoulder. The room was quiet for a bit, only filled with distant splashing from the running water. After about five minutes passed, the blond frowned. Taking a short breather was fine, but the nobleman had been gone a while.

"You think he's okay in there?" He resisted the temptation to nervously bite his nails. Guilt rose within him. "I didn't mean to freak him out or anything. I knew he had family issues, I just, well, wanted to cover all our bases. Try and talk to him about it. Should we check in? Make sure he's alright?"

(Yeah, it definitely is)

"Yeah, I'll go check on him." he said, getting off the bed and knocking on the bathroom. "Arquis? Love, are you alright in there?" his voice was just loud enough to carry, without being too horribly loud. "I am sorry if our questions were…too much, I did not mean to upset you."

Ari gently squeezed Honey's hand, leaning his own head against the blond's. He still didn't say anything, a touch concerned for Arquis but still not wanting to push in where his words were not necessary.

Instead of answering, Arquis unlocked the bathroom door. He stumbled back to the bath's faucet, turned it off, and sat on the cold marble floor. He hid his face in his knees as he bunched them to his chest.

"I am sorry," he rambled in a soft, shaky croak. "I did not mean to. You were supposed to have a nice day. I did not mean to, love. I did not mean any of this. I wish I was not like this. I just get so upset, and I do not know what else to do. Rin, I am so sorry. You should not have to deal with this. You deserve better. I am so, so sorry."

Most of what he was saying wasn't making sense. He'd been spiraling since he left the room, and it was all he could do to apologize.

"I worry about the two of them," Honey whispered to Ari. He gently ran his hand through the other man's hair. "It seems like life won't give them a break. All this stress can't be good for either of them. I wish there was something we could do, y'know? There’s not, really. But I just hate sitting around and watching it happen.”

Rin crouched beside him, closing the door so that they could have some privacy. "It's alright, darling." he said in a soft tone. "This was important. I had a nice time with Ari to relax, and I don't mind helping you when you need me." he gave Arquis a gentle smile, kissing the side of his head. "I love you, Arquis, and that is not going to change."

Ari leaned into the hand in his hair, exhaling faintly. "Yeah. But there isn't really much taht either of us can do. They'll be okay, though, I think. Rinlos is smart; they'll figure something out. Arquis is going to be okay, too."

Arquis shifted, reached out, and embraced him. He pulled them against himself so that he could bury his face in the crook of their neck. His hands shook badly as they came to rest on their sides. He didn't say much for a while. All of his energy was reserved on staying conscious; he couldn't really control his fainting spells, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

"Alright," he mumbled once the tremors began to fade. Slowly, he was recovering. The adrenaline rush had crested and was finally dissipating. He brushed his lips against their jaw before gathering the courage to speak more. There'd been a reason he'd spiraled so hard and fast, and it hadn't been from the questions alone.

"Rinlos." That was too formal. He pulled away just so that he could take their hands in his own. He squeezed them gently. "My love. This morning, I promised that I would tell you what happened to my family. What made us the way that we are, and what happened to my father."

In the other room, Honey slid his hand so that it cupped his cheek. He swept his thumb over Ari's lips almost absently, as if it was a habit. Then, he let out a sigh.

"I really hope so. All this stuff, talking about the High Court—that's scary shit. Really. Terrifies me. They tear into you, dig up all your secrets. Ruin your reputation, no matter what side you're on, no matter if you're guilty or not. I don't know if Arquis could handle it, and I'm worried what watching him break would do to Rin."

Rin studied Arquis worriedly, raising his eyebrows. "Arquis, love, you…you do not have to tell me right now if the idea is too much." he reassured his partner softly, running his thumb over Arquis's knuckles. "I…" he trailed off, swallowing faintly and trying to think of what he could do, what he could say. "Please, love, I do not want you to get so stressed again." they didn't know what to do. They really didn't. This was important, what Arquis wanted to tell them, and they knew that, but at the same time, they had seen how negatively Arquis always reacted to any mention of it. They did not want to do that to him again if they could help it.

Ari closed his eyes, listening to Honey's words, before his eyes flickered open again. "Yeah. It's…it would be frightening." he agreed softly. "Rin would…I don't know, honestly. There's…" he was worried what digging around in the past would discover about his friend, to be honest. If the High Court investigated Arquis, and then Rinlos as a result of digging about Arquis…Kevra as a whole would be thrown into chaos. Kevra knew Rinlos as the king's nephew. The news that he was the king's bastard son would rock the nation, and not in a good way at all.

(I wasn't sure when I first brought it up if an actual trial was a good idea or not but now I think it'd be kinda interesting??)

Arquis bent to kiss his lover's wrist. He then turned his face and pressed his cheek against their forearm. His movements were sluggish. It was as if his episode, albeit brief, had leeched all the energy he'd gained from resting. He wondered faintly how he used to keep himself together at the Palace. For so many years, he'd pushed himself to the brink and beyond, and his body had kept pace. But now, it was as if the past was catching up to him. Every bone in him felt like it was made of lead, and his muscles were terribly weak.

"I must tell you at some point," he replied. "You need to know the truth, Rin. I fear that I have tricked you into falling for me."

Honey hesitated. There was a lot he didn't know about Rin and Ari. He wondered how a trial would affect them. Ari probably wouldn't be called to speak; he and Arquis barely knew each other. But Ari was very close friends with Rin, and he had the feeling it could be extremely taxing for the both of them. He made a mental note to be there for them as much as Arquis if there was a trial, even if it was just at a lower court.

"Yeah. Maybe tomorrow we can try to find out more about that reward. Rin and Arquis could stay here and lie low for a bit."

(hm yeah it could be!)

Rin studied Arquis for a long moment, taking a deep breath. "Then…then tell me, darling. I will listen." his voice was soft and gentle and sweet, and he gently smoothed his thumb over Arquis's cheekbone. "I'm right here, and I will listen to you." they were a bit apprehensive for what Arquis was about to tell him, and he didn't know what to do about it but listen. They owed that to their partner.

Ari nodded faintly. "Yeah. We'll just need to help them. And do our best to make sure everything is alright with them." he leaned his head on Honey's shoulder, exhaling faintly.

(I think it'd be kinda cool to have Rin and Muria interact more face-to-face cause they haven't really talked if that makes sense? and a trial could put them in the same space and force them to interact, though I'm curious to see what you think of it cause it'd be a pretty big plot thing to have a trial)

Arquis looked scared. Terrified, even, as if one loud noise would do him in for good. Icy sweat dripped down his spine, and he shivered. He had to do this. There was no avoiding it anymore.

"I- I-" He bunched his hands into fists and then wrapped his arms about himself, like he was trying to squeeze the confession from his lungs. "I went- it was night, and- and- I was just- I went over to- and- I did not know what would happen, I just- I was there, and then I was not there, and it was like it was not even me. It was not really me, but it was. Do you understand? I was not there anymore, it was just- he was there, and then- and then-"

In the bedroom, Honey hummed and ran his hand down Ari's neck until he was stroking his back. "Yeah. That's enough talk of that for tonight, though. It's getting late, and we won't be able to do much until tomorrow."

He wondered what was taking Arquis and Rin so long in the bathroom. Had the nobleman been ill? He sure hoped not. It'd taken a while to get him to eat those scones, and he really didn't look like he could afford to lose more energy.

"You have any plans for tonight? I was thinking that maybe if you're not too tired, we could do something together."

(yeah good point! But I thought we were planning on having Rin and Arquis get taken back to the Palace? Which would have Rin and Muria interact more there? but idk, either one could be interesting)

Rin blinked, not understanding a word that Arquis was babbling. "Arquis, darling, slow down." he said softly, settling his hands on Arquis's shoulders. "Slow down, and take a deep breath, and then start over. I don't…I don't understand what you're trying to tell me." he hated that Arquis was going to have to repeat himself, but they had no idea what the nobleman was trying to tell them. It was all too jumbled up for them to understand.

Ari exhaled faintly, gaze flickering to the closed bathroom door, then back over to Honey. "I don't have any plans, no. And I would be up for doing something, if you like." he smiled softly, running a hand through his hair. "What did you have in mind?"

(oh hm you're right—maybe they could have the trial actually at the Palace, since it's a pretty big building? and then Arquis could be brought back there by the authorities or something. it could also potentially stir up a lot of like publicity and stuff that would be interesting for Rin and Arquis to go through)

Arquis had been trying his best to communicate what had happened, but his best apparently wasn't good enough. The thought of saying it all over again was daunting. He drew a shuddering, deep breath in. It didn't really help. What launched from his lips was an equally incoherent string of rambling.

"I did not- I went at night, and I went- I did not mean to run into anyone. I was just going for a walk. It was just meant to be a walk. And then, when I was- I almost made it outside, but I stopped- I thought- I just meant to stop for a second. Just a moment. I did not know what would happen if I followed. How could I have known? It all happened so fast, I- I-"

Honey pondered the question, then turned and gave Ari an almost devilish smile. "Well, stranger. That kinda depends. You scared of heights? 'Cause if not, I could show you something."

That was vague enough that it almost sounded threatening. He fluttered his lashes at the other man innocently, though the effect didn't really come through clearly. He was still grinning.

"It's not dangerous. Not really, anyways. Unless you've got two left feet, in which case you could always lean on me."

(oh yeah that could be interesting for sure! Though how would we work in Rinlos's father and Lysander visiting, then?)

Rin squeezed Arquis's shoulders gently, still not understanding anything that Arquis was trying to say. "Arquis. Darling. Stop." he said. "Take a few deep breaths for me, okay?" this wasn't helpful. Nothing Arquis was saying made any sense, and while Rin hated that Arquis would have to repeat it at some point, the nobleman would have to if he wanted them to be able to know and understand what had happened. "I don't understand what you're triyng to say, and I need you to just stop and breathe for me please."

Ari tipped his head faintly, considering the question. "I am not really scared of heights, no." he replied slowly, looking at Honey. "Where are you planning to take me to, hm?" he wondered where and what it could possibly be. It sounded intriguing, no matter what it was. Where would Honey be taking him that was high up?

(oh, good point. hmm, maybe that could happen at some point after the trial finishes? if Arquis has to stay at the Palace after to clear some stuff up for a while, then maybe they could visit for the sake of appearances? kinda like how celebrities will involve themselves in drama that's not theirs to gain public favor, that sort of thing?)

Arquis wailed softly and tossed his head back until it hit the rim of the tub. His face screwed up in agony. This was all too much. He knew it would be, but he'd been hoping that if he spoke quickly, then he could get it out before he was overwhelmed. Of course that wouldn't have worked. He could barely think of it without feeling faint; why did he think he'd be able to calmly tell the whole story?

"I cannot- I- you need to know. You need," he emphasized it, the word coming out sharp and desperate, "to know everything, but- but I cannot tell you, and I have made a mess of things. I always make such a mess. It was so messy that night. There was so much of it. I tried to clean it, but- but I could not- it stayed on my hands. It stained them, and they- they are- I-"

It was only getting worse. He couldn't stop reliving the memory, over and over and over again. This was his own personal hell: a loop from which he could never escape.

"There's a way to get on the roof," Honey responded, his grin finally softening. "It'll be a bit slippery if it's still wet, so we'd have to be careful. But I'll bet that it's real pretty out tonight. Usually is after a storm. We could sit up there for a bit, maybe bring a blanket. Get cozy. Y'know. Or, if that sounds a bit too risky, maybe we could just cut out the middle man. Go to your room. Spend some quality time together. What do you think?"

(ooh yeah that could work!!)

Rin's gaze searched Arquis's face, trying to understand but struggling to do so. "Darling, darling, please stop." he whispered, kissing Arquis's cheek. "You are not making any sense and you are just stressing yourself out, please stop." he gently cupped Arquis's cheeks between his hands, biting his lip faintly as they looked at Arquis.

Ari hummed faintly, considering Honey's words. "That does sound like fun, actually." he replied in a quiet tone. "Going out on the roof, looking at the stars. As for going to my room…as long as quality time is not an innuendo for anything sexual, then that would also be fun. We could do that afterwards, perhaps? When we get tired and want to head inside."

(yay!! if we do wanna do that sort of plot line, when do you think would be a good time to set it into motion?)

Arquis let out a sob, the kind that sounded as if it'd scraped his throat raw coming out. He didn't want Rin to look at him like that. He didn't want their kind words, his gentle touch. That wasn't quite the truth. He needed them like a drowning man needed air. He just didn't deserve them, not after all that he'd done.

"I did not want it to happen," he gasped, fighting for his every breath. "You must understand, I did not want for any of it to happen."

That was all he could get out. He lurched over suddenly and wrapped his arms about his midsection, as if he was about to be sick. Instead, he waited out the vertigo with his eyes closed. His body was cold with sweat.

"I cannot," he whispered. "I cannot tonight. I cannot. I am sorry, love. I thought I could, but I cannot speak of it any more."

——

Honey beamed when Ari accepted his offer, then laughed at the latter half of what he'd said. "Nah, handsome, I wasn't propositioning you. I know you're not into all that. I really just meant, like, y'know." As if he was sharing a secret, he leaned in and lowered his voice. "Hand-holding. Cuddling. Raunchy stuff, I know. But yeah, we could totally do that after the roof.”

He spared another quick glance at the bathroom door. While he wanted to go straight up to the roof, maybe grab a blanket on the way, they should probably check in on Arquis and Rin. They'd been in there for a while now.

"Wanna knock real fast before we go? See how they're doing?"

(tbh I'm not sure)

Rin kept their eyes on him, watching with soft concern. "Alright. You do not have to, my love." he said softly, gently, cupping Arquis's cheeks in his hands. "Perhaps later you can…you can try writing it down for me? That way you do not have to say it. But it is alright if you cannot tell me, darling. I understand how difficult it is for you." he didn't, not completely, but Arquis needed that reassurance that everything was alright. Their partner needed that, and he would provide it.

Ari nodded slightly at Honey's response, smiling a little. "In that case, it sounds wonderful." he replied, stretching and twisting in order to pop his back. "Mm, sure. I can check on them, unless you want to?" he got off the bed, still stretching a bit. He was tired, but it was alright. If he fell asleep on the roof, so be it. Honey would wake him.

(part of me thinks it'd be really funny if honey/ari were on the roof and saw the like guards or whatever coming to the inn, but that might be a bit soon lol)

Arquis lifted his hands and placed them on top of his partner's. Absently, he began to stroke his thumbs along their knuckles. His eyes closed, and his head tipped forward slightly. The stroking motions slowed but didn't stop. He wasn't asleep, though he was pretty damn close.

"Perhaps," he mumbled. "Perhaps that would work. Explaining it in writing. But that would be rather permanent."

Spoken words faded quickly. Once they were out, unless they were somehow recorded like music on gramophones, they were gone. People could spread and twist them in the form of rumors, but the original speaker could deny them. They had a wonderful impermanence to them, making them the perfect choice for sharing secrets.

Written words, on the other hand, were much more difficult to hide or change. Sure, people shared secrets in writing all the time. Kids passed notes and paramours wrote letters. But there were stories every day of such things being discovered by nosy parents, friends, lovers, or historians. Once words were written, one had to be really careful of how they were disposed of. They could not simply be thrown away; any butler or maid prone to gossip could find them in the trash. They could not be tossed out the window; they would blow along the streets, likely ending up under someone's heel. That left two valid options: tossing them into the sea or burning them.

——

Honey stood as well and did his own series of stretches. He yawned and scrubbed at his jaw as he considered Ari's question. Last time he'd interrupted the two of them by himself, he could tell he'd kind of frustrated Rin. He didn't want to do that again, but he did want to know that they were both okay.

"Nah," he decided, "you can go ahead. Meet me at my room when you're done—I'm gonna grab a scarf and a coat. It's gonna be kinda chilly out."

(it would be funny, but it's definitely too soon lol)

"We can burn it afterwards." he replied softly. "Soak the paper in water to make it illegible, and then burn it to destroy the remnants." he gnetly stroked Arquis's cheek, trying to soothe the anxious nobleman that he was sitting with. "I promise, darling, we can make sure no one else will read it." they knew this whole thing made their partner so very anxious and frightened, and he wanted to do everything he could to alleviate that fear. He didn't want Arquis to become as incomprehensible as he had been only a few minutes ago. It had quite honestly been frightening to watch.

Ari nodded a little, shooting Honey a quick smile. "Alright. I'll probably grab a scarf and coat for myself as well, then." he replied, heading towards the door of the bathroom but not knocking quite yet. He didn't quite know what to say, when he did knock. What was the proper thing to say, the proper way to ask if the two were alright in there?

(yeah haha)

"No one else will read it," Arquis repeated slowly. His head felt empty, as if his rambling had stolen every single one of his thoughts and shoved them out. All he could summon up was that he didn't want to be on the bathroom floor any longer. He tried to move his legs a bit, maybe see if he could get himself standing, but they didn't really cooperate. That was alright. He would make do with what he had. He shifted forward until he was sitting in Rin's lap, then did some adjusting. Their arms were around his midsection; his back was to their stomach; his heels were brushing their calves.

"Perhaps," he murmured, though once again, it was just an echo of what they'd been saying earlier. He turned his face and kissed his partner's chest. Throughout all of that, all the moving and repositioning, his eyes had stayed closed.

——

"Okay. Just, uh, yeah. Meet me at my room and all."

Honey gave an awkward wave before fleeing out the door. He hurried to his room and looked over what he was wearing. Atrocious. His hair and clothes were rumpled from being thoroughly slept on. He also kind of smelled like Arquis, which was off putting. Not because he smelled bad, but it was kind of strange nonetheless. The blond changed into a pair of cute, soft flannel pajamas—Myr had only ripped the collar of the top, meaning they were still wearable—and a fluffy coat. He quickly rubbed some brown sugar perfume on his wrists and neck. Myr had broken the bottle, but some of the liquid had remained in the bottom of the bigger piece, and Honey hadn't wanted it to go to waste.

Once he was done, he sat on his bed in what he hoped was a casual position, crossing one leg over the other. He hoped Ari didn't mind that he was wearing pajamas. They were a size too big for him, so the sleeves hung over his hands. It wasn't exactly the most attractive outfit, but he thought it'd be okay for cuddling. If that was what Ari wanted to do, of course. He didn't want to assume, even if that’s what it’d sounded like.

(sorry for the wait! I'm on vacation right now and my brain has kinda been dead from exhaustion)

"We can burn it afterwards to make sure no one else will ever read it." he said softly, stroking his hands lightly against Arquis's sides to try and soothe him. He could feel Arquis's ribs through the nobleman's shirt. He wished he could not, but they knew it was a conversation for later. Not now, not when Arquis was already so upset and bothered by everything that had happened. It would be too difficult. "If you decide you are alright with that, anyway."

Ari knocked quietly on the door to the bathroom. "Are you two alright in there?" he called. "You've, ah, been in there a while, and I just wanted to check in and make sure everything was alright." he ran his hands through his hair, sighing faintly and hoping everything was alright.

(it's okay! :) hope you're having a nice vacation!)

Arquis had been starting to relax when Ari knocked, and all of his progress was lost in an instant. He flinched away from Rin so forcefully that he banged his shoulder into the bath. Instead of focusing on the slight stinging pain, however, he stared wide-eyed at the door. Dread had settled like a cold, hard stone into the growing pit in his stomach.

"I did not say anything," he whispered. It came out ragged, like he'd been panting for air after a marathon. "But then, perhaps in my ramblings alone I said too much." Even when he heard Ari speak, it didn't seem to register as him. He hunched over, cradled his head in his hands, and groaned out a quiet, "No. No, please."

——

Honey uncrossed his legs and flopped back on his bed with a sigh. He didn't know why he'd assumed Ari would join him almost immediately. Checking on people often took time. The blond rolled onto his side, tugged a pillow into his arms, and gave it a squeeze. He'd much rather be hugging Ari, but the pillow would have to do. As soon as he thought that, he went red. That was embarrassing. It wasn't like he and Ari were officially dating, even if they'd been on a few dates. But he definitely got the whole tongue-tied, flustered, stomach-in-knots feeling when he was near him, the one that guaranteed a crush.

"Why does everything have to be so complicated?" he grumbled, tossing the pillow away.

(thanks! I am!)

Rin gently smoothed his hands along Arquis's sides, trying to sooth him. "We're fine, Ari. Just having some…well. It's fine. You and Honey can go do something else, if you would like. Arquis and I need some alone time, I think." he kissed the side of Arquis's head, wincing faintly at how panicked the nobleman was about all this. "I've got you, darling." he whispered. "You're alright."

Ari could hear Arquis's faint whispering, though he could not quite catch the words. At Rin's, he exhaled. "Right. Alright. Uh, good luck. See you later." he took a few quick steps back and away, and then headed out of the room, closing the door behind him. He went to his room first, grabbing some winter clothing and also changing into more comfortable clothes, and then headed to Honey's room, knocking on the door with his coat, scarf, hat, and gloves draped over his arm.

Arquis struggled and pulled away from his partner. Abruptly, he stood, then went to the door and threw it open. Nobody was there. The realization seemed to unnerve him deeply. He put his hands over his face again and let out a sound that could've been a laugh or a cry.

"I- I think I need some- I need to-" He yanked at the collar of Rin's sweater. It suddenly felt like it was a million degrees in bathroom, though perhaps that was partially the result of humiliation. He'd been acting so strange in front of his poor partner, and he didn't even have the strength to explain why. He lowered his hands fully to offer them a very weak smile. It fell in an instant, and he came back over to his partner wearing an apologetic look instead.

"I am so sorry, it is just so very hot. I think I need some air. I feel a bit- I am lightheaded, and-" He was speaking so fast that his words ran together. "I need air, I need- could we go outside? Or open the window in the bedroom, or- it is stifling, and I-"

——

Honey practically leapt of the bed when Ari knocked and raced to the door. He paused right before it to compose himself, then twisted the handle. When he saw Ari, he beamed.

"Hey, handsome. I see you're ready for the roof." He reached over and tapped the clothes hanging on his arm. "I'm still kinda surprised that it's this cold this early on in the year. Usually it takes a few more weeks, but we've been getting tons of snowstorms and stuff, haven't we? Oh well. Here, c'mon, come inside. I've gotta get some shoes on."

(sorry for the wait again!!)

"It was just Ari." Rin said softly, getting up and gently supporting Arquis. "We should not go outside right now, but ah, how about we go out to the bedroom and you sit down on the bed and I open the window?" they kept their arms wrapped around Arquis, supporting him as they manuevered over towards the bed. "I've got you, darling. Everything's going to be alright." he kissed Arquis's cheek, trying to soothe him a little bit more.

Ari grinned at him, running his hands through his hair in a quick nervous gesture. "I'm surprised too, but this will be fun. And if we get too cold, we can always come back inside, if we need to." he replied, fiddling for a moment with the clothes hanging on his arm.

(you're good!)

Arquis allowed Rin to move him towards the bed, and when he was there, he practically collapsed onto it. He tugged at his sweater and used it to fan himself. It was better now that they weren't in that tiny bathroom, but he still felt like he'd been trapped in an oven. His skin was damp from sweat, and his hair was sticking to his temples.

"Will it ever be different?" he asked, somewhat to himself. Then, just a hint louder, "I do not want to live like this forever. I do not want you to, either. All of this stress, all of this worry. My disorder, my issues, my panic—it is all too much. When is our situation going to turn around? Will it? Are we doomed to be unlucky forever? Perhaps I should have stayed."

——

Honey knelt, slipped his feet into some practical shoes, and laced them up tightly. While heels or sandals might be more glamorous, he needed something that he could climb in. He didn't want to risk falling, and he didn't know how slick the roof would be. It was best to be the safest he possibly could.

"Yeah. I'm sure we can think of some ways to warm ourselves up while out there, though." He grinned as he stood and stretched. "Mm. Hope the view's pretty out tonight. Would hate to bring you all the way up there for nothing."

"I know, love." he said softly, opening the window to allow some air into the room. "We are going to be alright, Arquis. It's just…things are stressful right now. That's all. They'll get better." at least, he hoped they would. It would not be fun if things never got better, but he had hope that they would. They couldn't be bad forever.

Ari smiled again, putting on his coat and buttoning it up. "I'm sure the view will be lovely, Honey." he replied. "After all, you'll be there." his smile turned into a faint smirk as he gave Honey a teasing look, though he did mean the words. He finished buttoning his coat, but didn't put on his scarf or mittens yet.

Arquis stared over Rin's shoulder at the patch of night sky visible behind them. His lover's form was silhouetted by stars. The nobleman stood and approached him, then wrapped his arms around their middle. He pressed his cheek to his shoulder. His lips grazed their neck, lighter than silk, and he sighed against his skin.

"Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this." It wasn't clear what he was referring to. He could've been talking about his health, Muria's attempt at taking his life, or the way he was holding Rin. He didn't clarify. A gust of air came in through the window, rattling the shutters, and he shivered. He was finally starting to cool down.

——

"Aw, well. Aren't you just a delight," Honey purred. The compliment might've been cliché, but he appreciated the honesty in Ari's tone. He strutted over and gave him a peck on the cheek. His own face was going quite red, and he fanned himself as he hurried off to the door. He was really starting to wish he'd worn something more glamorous than pajamas. As nice and cozy as they were, he felt a bit guilty. They were way too plain. He could do a lot better, but he was kind of sleepy, and he knew dressing up right then would make him feel like a doll.

"I have nicer nightclothes than this," he mentioned, trying to keep his tone casual. "Some really pretty stuff, stranger. Maybe someday you'd like to see it?"