forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by Deleted user

tune

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Ari nodded a little, then laughed when Honey stole some of his ice cream. "Ah, thanks." he said slowly, laughing softly. "Though you are right. I did not, technically, choose this flavor. It's delicious, though." he smiled, soft and happy as he looked at Honey. Honey was a lovely young man, and Ari was glad that they had had this time together.

Rin let out a soft, faint sound, swallowing softly. "I, uhm." he smiled a little, running his hands through Arquis's hair again. "Thank you, darling."

Honey agreed and went back to eating his own ice cream. There wasn't much left, but he didn't want it to melt. The sparkler had gone out a while ago. He removed it, put it on the table, and then finished what was left in the bowl. Abrahen came over to take the bowl away, and the blond glanced out the window of the shop. Night was still rather far off, but it was starting to shift into late afternoon. The sky had begun to go dusky blue, and the clouds, which forewarned of more rain to come, looked faintly orange from reflected sunlight. The street outside was painted with it as well, all golden with dark shadows.

"Hey, stranger," he said to Ari, "did my sister say anything about ice cream? 'Cause we could bring her back some, but that means we'd have to go straight from here to there." He kind of wanted to stay out as long as possible and prolong their date, but there were ways they could continue it at the inn. "If she didn't, then we can go wherever you wanna go."

Arquis slowly shook his head. "No, my love. Thank you. For everything that you are and all that you have done."

His hand slid from their side up his chest, then tangled in their hair. He kissed him on the lips again before tilting their head just a little further back. Their neck was easy to access. He took advantage of this by leaving him another love bite, this time close to the base of his throat. Once he was done, he kissed at the skin around it.

Ari finished up his own ice cream after a bit, a soft smile tugging at his mouth. "I don't believe that she did, but we could bring her some back if you like." he replied, shrugging his shoulders as he set his bowl aside. He looked out the windows, watching the colors of the sky. It was lovely out, and he would love to stay out for a while longer.

Rin hummed faintly. "Mm, if you say so." he replied, snuggling closer to Arquis and letting out a faint sound at the love bite. "Ah, darling~" their voice was soft and a bit breathy, and they reached out to hold onto him.

Honey stood, hummed thoughtfully, and stretched. "Yeah, maybe. I don't know. She might be busy or something. Don't wanna just barge in, but then again, she'd probably appreciate it."

The blond hadn't seen much of his sister lately. Sure, he'd seen her the previous day and that morning, and they'd spent some time over the past few days talking about what he'd revealed. But she'd also been out a lot. Whenever he'd asked, she'd claimed that she'd just been doing normal tasks. Helping dry the towels for the spa, picking up some orders of champagne, watering the flowers out front, and walking Sugar. One time, though, he thought he saw her going to the village with someone else, but she'd later lied and said she'd stayed in with a headache. Whatever she was up to, he wasn't angry. He just wanted to know if she was safe. There had been a couple of questionable men and women in the past that had hurt her feelings. He hoped she wasn't sneaking out to see one of them.

"She's been kinda weird lately. Lovey, I mean," he clarified. "I don't know. I guess you don't really know her, so you wouldn't notice if she was acting strange when you talked to her. Maybe I'm making it up."

The right side of his face was caught in sunlight. It made his skin look like pale gold. His curls seemed to glow as well, and his eyes more amber than brown.

"Sorry. This is all probably weird stuff to talk about on a date." He grinned and walked over, settling his forearms on Ari's shoulders and playfully pinching his cheek.

"I do say so, indeed," Arquis breathed against the hollow of his throat. He very gently squeezed their hip, then paused. "Well, my love, it seems we have a couple of ways to spend the day. We could stay in," he dropped a light, sweet kiss to his jaw, hoping that the subtext would come across, "until nightfall, and then go dancing in the village. Or we could go in a bit, once I have recovered. I am alright with whatever option you choose."

"Mayve. And, ah, I don't know if she's acting weird. Like you said, I don't really know her well enough to be able to tell that sort of thing." he shrugged his shoulders. "And it's…" he trailed off, a bit startled by the pinch, but not really minding it either. "I don't mind." he finally said, giving Honey a quick, soft, sweet little smile.

Rin hummed, considering the question. "Well, do you still wish to look at dresses?" he asked, raising his eyebrows and running a hand through Arquis's hair, carding his fingers through their lover's hair with a soft, gentle touch. "Because if you do, we should go sooner rather than later."

Honey shifted and rested his chin on the top of their head. He was basically leaning on him now. If Ari was to stand, he'd probably topple to the floor. His center of balance was not very secure.

"Yeah. That's 'cause you have inhuman levels of patience, stranger. Anyone else would be tired of my shit by now." He grinned. "So, what's it gonna be? What've you decided? Go back with some ice cream, or stay out?"

Arquis sighed, dropping his head against their chest. It was almost comical how clearly he was pouting. He really was fine with any option that they would've chosen, but, well. Staying in with him was so lovely, especially when it involved kissing, cuddling, and perhaps even some other activities. At least their hand in his hair felt nice.

"I had forgotten about that," he mumbled. "In all of the chaos, I suppose it slipped my mind. What do you think, love? I will still leave it up to you. I am well enough to do anything you desire."

(sorry for the wait!)

Ari stayed still, reaching up to rest their hands on Honey's arms. "I think we should stay out." he replied. "Unless you really want to bring ice cream back for Lovey." he smiled up at the blond, not at all minding this position that they were both in. Honey's body was warm and solid against his back and head, and he really didn't mind it.

Rin hummed faintly. "I only want to do it if you do." he replied, smiling softly. "So, is that something that you would want to do, or would you prefer to skip it for now?"

(you're good!!)

Honey lifted his head when Ari smiled up at him, and he reached to cup his chin. He traced his thumb along his jaw. And then, with bated breath, he touched it to his lower lip. It was such a light brush that it could've been read as an accident. He pulled his hand away and casually draped it over Ari's stomach instead.

"She'll probably be fine without it. I, uh, think there's something else I want you to see. Here, I mean. In the village. If you're ready to go soon. Or not. There's no, like, time limit."

Arquis groaned. He both loved and hated it when Rin left choices up to him. For so long, he hadn't really had the option to make his own choices. Minor ones, certainly, like picking flower arrangements or deciding what gloves to wear. But he'd never been able to truly decide his schedule or his fate. It had been hammered into him since a young age. He'd been like a trapped bird for so long that freedom felt overwhelming, and sometimes he kind of found himself longing for the familiarity of his old cage.

"I do not know. I suppose we should go on ahead and do it. Who knows how much time we will have here. Any moment, we could receive a letter calling for my return."

A tiny burst of panic flared inside him at the thought of it, and he decided to change the subject. There was only so much of that topic that he could tolerate in one day. He wasn't going to faint again, that was for sure.

"Besides, it would be nice to pretend," he said, voice now soft, "that we really are shopping for a dress. A wedding dress. Even if that is not the path we go down, it is a wonderful fantasy."

Ari blinked, inhaling softly when Honey's thumb brushed against his lip. "I…alright. Let's go, then." he replied slowly, taking a deep breath. He almost wanted to kiss Honey at some point…but maybe that was too much. Maybe that wasn't something that Honey would be alright with. He wasn't sure.

Rin nodded slightly. "Of course." he said softly. "We can do that, darling." he replied, kissing his lover's cheek and running his hands trough Arquis's hair again. "Shall we get ready to go, then?"

Honey laughed, hooked his arms under Ari's, and basically lifted the other man to his feet. It was easy to forget sometimes just how strong he was, but his biceps were well-shaped and his shoulders firm. He set Ari down once they were both fully standing, though he kept his arm curled around the young man's right side. His brown eyes swept over his date's face. They were very close. So close that he could see the individual curls in his hair. So close that they could kiss, and it would take less than a heartbeat.

"Right," he said, clearing his throat. "Yes, you're right. Off we go."

Abrahen gave him a friendly wave as he scooped his gift off the table and led Ari out the door. He walked with him down a crowded street and then turned into a smaller path. Two roads later, and they were standing by a fountain. Pretty, water-polished pieces of glass that resembled sapphires and turquoise sat in the rippling water of the bottom basin. There was no stone carving on top; this was one of the smaller fountains of the village, meant for quiet contemplation rather than gathering drinking water or charming visitors. Nobody was around. They'd all be in one of the more lively town plazas at this point of the afternoon. Honey sat by the lowest basin and gestured for Ari to sit beside him.

Arquis shifted but didn't stand. "I suppose," he said reluctantly. He was hoping—but not really expecting—for Rin to maybe carry him to the door. His legs were fine, he was just feeling a bit clingy still.

Ari was quiet as they headed out the door, walking with Honey until they both sat down at the fountain. He looked at Honey, giving him another soft, sweet, happy smile. "This is a lovely little fountain." he remarked, turning to study it. And it was; it wasn't flashy or showy, just a pretty little thing tucked away in a quiet place.

Rin stood, and bent to pick up Arquis. "Do you want to change before we go, darling, or are you going to wear these clothes while we're out and about?" he didn't care which Arquis chose to do, he simply wanted to know beforehand which one it was.

Honey nodded, interlacing his fingers with Ari's and sighing contently. "Yeah, it's nice and quiet. I used to come out here when I couldn't sleep. I'd just sit and watch the stars. It's way too early to see 'em, but, y'know. Still peaceful or whatever."

There was an ebb in his speaking where he just listened to the bubbling of the water. Then, he looked at Ari. His gaze was gentle.

"Y'know, stranger, there's nobody around. Nobody to judge us or anything." That was all he said. He wasn't going to try and suggest that Ari do anything in specific. The ball was in his court. He could make the first move, if he wanted.

In that moment, Honey looked stunning. The light had caught him in such a way that his eyes looked golden as his namesake, and his hair was beaded with tiny water droplets from the fountain's misty spray. There was a soft curl of a smile on his painted lips that made him seem sweet.

Arquis smiled and nuzzled against his partner's cheek. He was incredibly pleased, though he did hope he didn't weigh too much—he didn't want to be a burden to carry. They'd already done so much for him.

"Oh, um, I believe these will do. Unless they are not flattering?" He felt a spike of insecurity and glanced down at his clothes. They were a bit rumpled. There was a chance he looked a mess. He smoothed the wrinkles out of his shirt with his fingertips and hummed worriedly.

Ari smiled a little at the comment, tipping his head for a moment as he took in Honey's appearance, gaze moving from Honey's hair to his eyes, and then down to his mouth. His eyes lingered there for a long moment, and then he looked away, clearing his throat. He didn't want to overstep a boundary, and he knew Honey was a bit fragile. That he had been through a lot of trauma recently. Ari didn't want to do anyhting that would make the blond uncomfortable.

Rin hummed faintly, and shook his head a little. "No, those are fine, darling." he replied, carrying Arquis to the door and then shifting in order to set Arquis on his feet. "I just wanted to make sure whether or not you wanted to change before we go." he gave Arquis another soft, sweet smile.

"Ari," Honey murmured. He moved closer, his exposed shoulders brushing the cool, damp stone of the fountain. That long look Ari had given him had confirmed that the feeling was mutual. But if that was the case, then why was he holding back? Maybe he was trying to be polite. That was all well and good, but the blond didn't want him to feel like he had to walk on eggshells around him. If there was something they both wanted, then they should go for it. They could address problems as they occurred, but they shouldn't avoid doing things just because there could potentially be an issue.

"Ari," he repeated, gently squeezing his hand. "What was it we kept saying the other day? You can look at me, if you want."

Arquis bit his lip when they set him down. He moved to hug them, pressing him somewhat up against the door. Rin could still very much move if he so desired.

"Sorry if I am a lot to handle right now," the noble exhaled, screwing his eyes shut. "I… I am just vulnerable, and you… my love, you make everything better."

Ari's gaze moved back to Honey, and he cleared his throat softly. "Ah. The problem, Honey, is that if I look for too long, I find myself wanting to…well, to do a little more than that, and I do not want to do anything you would be uncomfortable with." he replied, smiling a little bit as he looked over at the blond man.

Rin smiled softly, reaching up to put his arms over Arquis's shoulders, resting them there. "Darling, it's alright." they replied softly, running a hand through their lover's hair. "I don't mind taking care of you when you need to be taken care of."

Honey grinned, though it wasn't suave. His cheeks were wonderfully pink. How odd it was that he could be made to blush by such an innocent remark.

"Who says that I'd be uncomfortable with it?" he asked. There was no way that had come out as nonchalant as he'd intended it to. He was sure he'd stuttered. "Maybe you should try it. Whatever it is you're talking about. I, for one, have no clue. Not even a single hint. But yeah. I don't know. Maybe give it a shot, y'know, and see what I think? Or not. Do what you want."

"I am not used to being taken care of," Arquis whispered in response. It was a sentiment he'd expressed before in the past, but the honesty of it still hurt.

Nobody had really looked after him in a long time. He was always the one to comfort Marsiquia after nightmares or to take the brunt of Quirisa's rage. He'd thought Muria didn't care much for him at all, but he had been wrong. Apparently, she loathed him so much that she wanted him dead. Even Aurisi, who had on rare occasions been legitimately kind to him in life, was never truly there for him. He'd withered as a result of their lack of love. So much so, in fact, that he was starved for touch. But maybe he deserved that because of his actions, or maybe it was an inherent fault in his person. After all, Quirisa and Marsiquia looked after one another, and Carsui cared for the latter. What had been so wrong with Arquis that he didn't deserve their affection? He'd thought it was his appearance, but it didn't seem to be that. Maybe he was just wrong. And the only reason Rin hadn’t recognized it was because they hadn’t been around him long enough.

"My mind is not on my side right now," he mumbled, huddling closer to Rin. "Perhaps we should go. It might be a good distraction?"

Ari laughed softly at the way Honey stuttered and stammered his way through his sentences. "I see." he replied. He reached up and gently cupped Honey's cheek with one hand, running his thumb over Honey's cheekbone, touch light and soft. He smiled over at the other man, working up his own courage to actually follow through with what he had been hinting at. Finally, he leaned forward and brushed his mouth to Honey's, the contact feather-light and quick, as Ari pulled away again almost as fast as he had come forward.

Rin kissed Arquis's cheek softly, nodding a little. "I know. And yes, we can go now." he gently pushed Arquis back a little so that he could get out from the doorway, and then opened the door. "Come on, love." he took Arquis's hand, lacing their fingers together, and gently squeezed. "You're going to be alright, I promise."

Honey initially chased his mouth when he pulled away, then leaned back with a slight frown. "Ari. Stranger. Handsome. That was, like, two seconds. Maybe even one." The gears finally clicked in his head, and his jaw actually dropped. Ari had kissed him. "Oh. Well, damn. You really just did that. Can you do it again? Yes? No? Maybe? But for longer. If you wanna, of course. Don't gotta. Did you know you taste good? Like, uh, cherries. I'm gonna stop talking. Maybe you can make me stop? With another kiss? Hopefully?"

Arquis nodded quietly and entered out into the hall. The further they went, the blacker his thoughts became. Why in the world was he going to try on dresses? Did he think he'd look good in them? What if the store owner kicked him out? Or mocked him? And then there was the matter of size. What if none of the dresses fit? Would Rin see him differently? He imagined himself struggling into gown after gown, picturing a shop attendant watching him struggle for enjoyment. He'd never had good experiences with tailors. Every time he'd gone—or rather, they'd come to him—he ended up feeling like he'd gone for a medical inspection. And failed.

"Rin," he said shakily, right before they reached the front door. "My heart, I…”

Ari laughed again at the way Honey kept babbling, finding it actually rather endearing. "Alright, Honey." he replied softly, and moved in for another kiss, letting this one last a bit longer. His hand was still resting gently on Honey's cheek, though Honey could have easily pulled away from him if the blond had wanted to. Ari didn't want him to feel trapped or cornered.

Rin looked at Arquis as soon as his partner began to speak, gaze softening. "Darling, what's wrong?" they asked. They reached up to cup Arquis's cheeks in his hands, raising his eyebrows a little. "Do you feel ill again?" he searched Arquis's face, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Honey was talented at a handful of things, and kissing was one of them. His entire body had a subtle way of moving when he kissed. He was also quite vocal. A low purr started deep in his throat, and he felt it resonate all throughout him. He caressed a hand through Ari's curls and slid it down to the nape of his neck. It then moved even lower, this time drifting to that spot in between his shoulderblades. That was as far as it went. He wasn't going to break his trust.

"Well," he murmured when he finally moved away. His lipstick was so smudged that it was practically ruined. He wiped the rest of it off on his wrist and shot Ari a grin. "That was good, handsome. Real good."

Arquis's expression just crumpled. There was something devastatingly final about it, like watching the last candle on a birthday cake being blown out. He turned his face towards his lover's left palm so that they couldn't see him.

"I feel so badly," he whispered, and that was it. That was all he could get out. Any more, and he'd start bawling in the lobby, right in front of Divinity.

When they moved away from each other, Ari looked at the blond with a soft, sweet smile. "Yeah, it was." he agreed, voice soft and sweet and gentle. "It was good." Honey's lipstick had rubbed off onto his own mouth, just a little bit, and he wiped it off onto his own hand, though it didn't erase that smile that still tugged at his lips. "I hope I haven't overstepped any boundaries, though."

Rin wrapped his arms around his lover, holding him close. "What's wrong, my darling?" he asked, holding Arquis gently, but firmly, his arms a solid enclosure around his partner. "Do we need to go back to the bedroom for a while?" he didn't mind if they had to go back; they just wanted to take care of their partner, in whatever way their partner needed from them.

"Nah. You're fine." Honey slumped back and let his head rest on the wet edge of the fountain. His grin was brilliant. The day had started out rough, but it had turned rather wonderful. If he couldn't feel the mist on his forehead or hear the running of water, he might've assumed it was just a dream. He propped his cheek on the crook of his right arm, which was resting on the damp stone as well, and studied Ari.

"I know we haven't known each other for long, but I like you, Ari," he murmured. The refraction of light off of the stones in the basin cast him in subtle, shifting hues of blue. They did nothing, however, to hide the pink in his cheeks. "You're real sweet to me."

Arquis was trembling faintly. He wasn't sure why he was so emotional, but everything just felt so hard. Eating, getting out of bed, moving—it was all so impossible. It didn't help that he knew Divinity, an almost complete stranger, was in the room with them. She probably thought him weak. He swore he could feel her gaze piercing into him and tearing him apart. He'd grown up with eyes on him constantly. Any attention usually felt like bad attention, and as such he'd developed anxiety around being watched.

"Outside?" he asked, though it was more of a plea. The whole situation reminded him of when he and Rin had met. They'd guided him out of the packed ballroom, away from judgmental stares. Not that Divinity was actually looking. It was just the idea that bothered him.

Ari smiled, watching Honey. "Yeah." he said softly. "I…I like you too, I believe." he ran a hand through his hair, keeping his gaze on the blond across from him. "And, I really would like to get to know you better, Honey." this day had been…well, rather enjoyable. Everything had been fun, and Honey was wonderful to hang out with. The restaurant, the ice cream, and now the kisses…it had been wonderful.

Rin nodded, moving away a little so he could open the door and take Arquis outside, out into the fresh air where they could hear nature around them and feel the sun on their faces. "Here we are, my love." he whispered. "We're out here."

Honey laughed, and it was a bright and happy sound. "Oh, yeah, I wasn't, like, proposing or something. We've got a lotta ground to cover. I still don't know much about your life in the country over, and you don't know much about my life outside of my job and stuff."

Maybe, if he hadn't scared Ari off, they'd get to go on more dates in the future. The thought of it made him unbelievably excited. He imagined spending time with Ari in a garden, picking berries by the woods, or going on a stroll. Or maybe they could travel to the beach at some point! Sugar would love to run around on the sand, and swimming would be nice. He imagined relaxing shirtless in a pair of shorts by the waves, tanning in warm rays of sunlight.

He'd said all of that out loud. Of course he had. That seemed to be a habit. He flushed and buried his face in his elbow.

Arquis was leaning completely against Rin at this point. He took a few deep breaths in and out. The outside air usually calmed him, and this time was no different. Nature was grounding. That was why, he realized, he'd probably spent so much time out in the forest instead of at the Palace. Not only was there usually no one around when he was walking or painting in the woods, but it was also very soothing. Inside air was kind of still. Stagnant. Quiet, but in a different way than nature.

"I think there might be something wrong with me?" he started, voice wobbling, then sighed. "It is so hard, love. Everything is so much."

Ari smiled softly, reaching over to put his hand over Honey's. "That all sounds fun, Honey. It really does." he said, still smiling as he looked at the blond man beside him. "And I'm sure that Sugar would love to run in the sand." he found it endearing, how excited Honey was about all of this. It really was adorable and sweet and Ari couldn't wait to see what their future held together.

Rin held onto him, grip firm and yet gentle at the same time. "I know, my love." he whispered. "I know that it is hard for you, and it's going to be alright. I'm here for you, and I'm not going to abandon you or leave you."

Honey slotted his fingers through Ari's and fanned away his blush. "Yeah. Sorry she was being all weird earlier. I don't know what that was about. She usually loves people, even if she doesn't know 'em. I swear we've trained her better than that. I'll have to give her a good scolding if she growls at you again."

Arquis sniffed softly and huddled closer to his partner. Being outside—and in the arms of his lover—was actually helping. He felt ridiculous for getting so worked up so quickly, especially after he'd already thrown a fit earlier. He really was so emotional sometimes.

"Sorry. I am alright. Or I will be in a moment, I promise." He kissed Rin's brow, then glanced down at the ground. "Anvillea is not known for studies in psychiatric science, but I read an article in a book once about, ah, melancholy. I do not claim to have it. I am functional. I can do whatever is required of me. But sometimes, when it gets really difficult like today, it is so hard to find the energy to keep going."

(aww i just realized that Sugar saw Ari as a threat bc she saw him as a strange man)

Ari shrugged. "She was probably just being protective. It's alright. I don't mind, though I would have liked to be able to pet her or something." he laughed a little bit, smiling at Honey again. He couldn't stop smiling, really. Honey was just lovely and handsome and Ari was very much enjoying their time spent together in the village. He had not spoiled Lovey's surprise, and he had no intention of doing so.

Rin kept holding him. "It's alright, darling. And, ah, if you did have melancholy, then that is alright too. We will work through it." he said, rubbing Arquis's back gently.

(yeah haha slightly because of Honey's situation but especially because of Lovey—Sugar's just kind of wary of unfamiliar men that are around her owners)

"Yeah, and usually she'd let you! She's never acted like this before. It was so weird!" Honey exclaimed, though was laughing as well. He wasn't really mad at his dog, just baffled. "You'd think she was possessed or something."

"I do not. I am not, um, like that. Sad, or numb, or, well, I am, but not in that way. It is different," he argued. "I do not struggle with self worth." Well, that was a lie. His face scrunched as he tried to rephrase. "I do not have trouble sleeping." Another lie. "And I do not suffer from a lack of productivity!" That one was true. As far as his responsibilities went, he had always been efficient. He'd basically worked himself to the bone. That wasn't a phrase he liked anymore, now that he'd been forced to confront the realities of his physical form.

Perhaps he really wasn't well. He'd always considered himself to be suffering because of his proximity to the Palace, as if it was some void that absorbed and destroyed happiness. But they were so far away, and he was still struggling with nightmares, fatigue, and self-deprecating thoughts. He knew he'd been through trauma, especially surrounding the loss of his father and cruelty of Muria. To have something biologically wrong with him, though, was slightly different. He didn't like it.

"I am not ill in that way. I am not. I have my thing with eating, I will admit, and the Palace has done me harm. But I… I am not… what do they call it elsewhere? Depressed. I am not depressed."

(yeah i know! i was awwing bc he's trans and she smelled him and was like "man")

Ari shrugged. "Maybe she'll warm up to me." he replied, crossing his legs and laughing again. "I guess she just doesn't like the new, scary man." he shook his head a little, though privately it gave him a warm feeling to know that this little dog had taken one whiff of him and had decided he was a man, even if it meant Sugar didn't like him.

Rin just raised his eyebrows a little, knowing most of those statements were untrue. "My darling, I am not going to try and tell you whether or not you are depressed. But you cannot deny it if you are." he didn't want to try and dictate Arquis's mental health, but he also knew that if Arquis was depressed, it might not go away on it's own.

(oh yeah haha sugar's so cute)

Honey grinned, and his dimples showed. The laugh he let out resembled a snort. "Yeah, not buying that, stranger. You're not exactly the scary type. More like a storybook prince."

Well. That was a totally normal thing to say. The blond tried for a moment to clarify, but all he came up with were awkward, nonsensical ramblings. He cleared his throat and pretended to be very interested in the fountain.

"Uh. Just for my ego's sake, you didn't hear that. I swear I'm not usually so sappy."

Arquis did not reply for a long while. He just stayed in Rin's embrace and reflected deeply upon himself. Once he was done, he stepped away from his partner, sighed, and pressed the backs of his gloved hands to his eyelids. His arms eventually dropped, though his eyes stayed shut. He inhaled, counted to ten, and let it out. That desperate, defensive expression of his had softened to something sweet. He met Rin's gaze and offered him an appreciative smile.

"You are correct, my love. I cannot be certain about every aspect of my health, and if this journey has taught me two things, the first is that I need to be more honest and gentle with myself. The second, of course, is that I love you. And I am no longer as willing to be the type of person to deny himself help if he needs it. You make me want to be better, even in my weakest moments."