Their patience was going to kill him. He leaned into the warmth of his palm and looked up at them through his dark eyelashes. The blue of his irises was almost swallowed by his pupils. He blinked away tears.
“Alright,” he whispered, turning and kissing the base of their thumb. Gently, he mouthed down to their pulse point, then rested the side of his face against their wrist. The lighting of the room made his cheekbones appear too sharp, almost threatening to burst through his skin. His skin was dry, his lips slightly chapped. He felt rather hideous.
“Alright,” he repeated, “I will try again. I will do my best. And I will let you know if I cannot, if I make another error.”
"Okay." he said softly. "Thank you, my darling." they leaned forward to kiss Arquis's cheek, giving him a soft smile. "You're going to be okay. I promise you will, sweetheart. We're going to work through this." he knew this was going to be hard, and they just wanted to support Arquis through all of this.
Arquis blushed when they referred to him as their darling. It was awfully nice to be someone’s anything, but there was something so sweet about the way Rin had said the phrase. He placed a small kiss at the corner of his mouth and ran his fingers down their side. His partner really did have such a lovely figure. He wished that they weren’t feeling so poorly, though he was very glad that he seemed to be doing a bit better.
Which reminded him. The flush grew darker, and he cleared his throat. “Is Ari…” he trailed off when he realized he wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask. “Does Ari think that I am, ah…”
His brows drew together. Peculiar? A bad match for Rin? Selfish? Irresponsible? He wasn’t sure which was the right question, but he needed some sort of an answer. He hadn’t meant to pressure the young man into leaving. It was still horribly embarrassing.
Rin cocked his head faintly, unsure what Arquis was trying to ask them. "What do you mean?" he asked softly. "I'm…not sure that I quite understand." they kept holding Arquis, arms wrapped around him as he held the nobleman close to themself. They cared about Arquis, and were glad that they had been able to convince him to try.
“I fear that I have made a terrible first impression,” Arquis responded, sighing. The lump in his throat had returned. His words from earlier circled in his head: he so desperately wanted to be liked. In the past, he couldn’t afford it. He’d had too many secrets to hide. But he didn’t have to worry about that at the inn, at least not to the same degree. “He is your closest friend. I really wished to impress him, but I feel as if I did exactly the opposite.”
The truth of the matter was that Arquis did not exactly have friends. He had at one point been close with a group, but he’d left it once his father had passed. The world had lost sense and meaning. He’d been grieving in a strange way for a man who loved him poorly, and yet he hadn’t had time for grief. Muria had become the official head of the Palace, but he’d been placed in charge of mostly everything. Planning events down to the smallest detail, scheduling deliveries and repairs, writing letters until the joints in his fingers throbbed. He hadn’t had time for friends, but even if he had, he couldn’t have shown interest in anyone. He didn’t get the luxury.
So he was outcast. Belittled, but only behind closed doors. Subjected repeatedly to the pranks and cruel rumors of the very people he served. The few people that had liked him either found reasons to turn a blind eye or joined in on the festivities.
Rin cocked his head faintly, listening to Arquis's words. "Oh. Darling, Ari doesn't care about being impressed." they said, reaching up to gently run his hands through Arquis's hair. "He knows this is stressful for the both of us, and he's not going to hate or judge you ill for being stressed and a little out of sorts." he gave the nobleman a gentle little smile. "I promise."
Arquis grinned dreamily at the hands in his hair, and he melted against them like soft wax. His lips found one of the corners of Rin’s smile. The kiss he left there was quick and chaste, teasing of something more. Of course, they couldn’t actually do anything more. His partner was still very sick and possibly contagious. He just wanted to show his appreciation for their help.
“We did have a very interesting talk while you were resting,” he said, tone colored with amusement. “You might have to ask him for the contents of that particular discussion.”
Rin raised his eyebrows, curious as to what this discussion could have been about. "What do you mean?" he asked, smiling a little bit. "What sort of conversation have you been having with my best friend, darling?" their voice was light and slightly teasing, and they gently ran their fingers through Arquis's hair.
Arquis laughed and planted another light peck on their cheek. Their touch felt wonderful. He shivered, embraced them snugly, and let his forehead drop to his chest. He didn’t even have to look for his favorite spot; he found it instantly and nuzzled against it. The rhythm of their heart brushed away the last of his worries. He felt all warm and rather tipsy, like if he continued to drink in their essence he’d be fully love-drunk. It brought a boyish blush to his face and eased the hard lines in his forehead. When he finally did look up at him again, there was a lopsided quality to his grin.
“We had a couple of short yet very interesting discussions,” he restated, pausing only to playfully nip at their collarbones. “One of which was about, ah, how shall I put this?” His hand softly squeezed their side. “The act of making love. Very enlightening.”
He laughed, raising his eyebrows at the topic. "I see, I see. I do hope that you were not giving each other pointers, that would be a touch embarrassing." he replied, holding onto Arquis. They were feeling better, though still a bit weak and sickly and a touch chilled. They still had a low grade fever, too, though it certainly was not as bad as it had been earlier.
Arquis hummed and pulled the blankets tighter around the two of them. It felt safe in their little cocoon, with his cheek against his chest. He stayed still for a little longer before responding. His breathing naturally synced with theirs, growing slower and steadier.
“Mm, not quite.” He did not mention the fact that he’d jokingly asked Ari for tips, though his complexion went rather pink. There was a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. “He said that we should have a discussion on the topic whenever you feel up to it. He also was very adamant that he not receive any of the details of said discussion. Whether or not you decide to fill him in—well, that I cannot control.”
This thought was punctuated by him tracing a small heart onto their hip. It was both an innocent and subconscious gesture; he truly wasn’t hinting that he wanted more, not while they were feeling poorly. He then searched out one of their hands and knitted their fingers together.
He let out a soft breath, laughing again. "I see, I see." he replied. "We certainly should, but perhaps not now. I am still feeling ill, and you should eat something." they hated to bring it up when they knew that Arquis would not like it, but it was important. Arquis needed to eat, and Rin would keep reminding him until he did. He kissed Arquis's cheek softly. "And again, darling, I would never pressure you into anything sexual that you do not want."
The remark about eating flattened Arquis’s mood rather quickly. There was a pain in his stomach that wouldn’t go away. It took him a minute to recognize what it was: hunger. He didn’t get legitimately hungry very often. He had adapted to his eating schedule—or lack thereof—and his appetite was frequently nonexistent. That was why he was surprised when that empty, hollow pain stuck around. His body was finally starting to get fed up with not being fed, apparently.
“Alright,” he sighed. He kept their hands entwined, even when he moved to get a bowl of the food Ari had brought. The support was needed. Though it wasn’t as bad as earlier, he still felt a bit weak. His head had begun to pound with the beginnings of a nasty headache. He settled against the pillows when he’d gotten his tray, frowned, and shifted so that he was in Rin’s lap. His back was against their chest. He tipped his head to kiss his jaw, smiling as he did it.
He ate about half of the meal before his thoughts began to sour. The hand that wasn’t clutching his fork went to find Rin’s once more. He swallowed another bit of food before becoming overwhelmed. Too much. He could feel it in his throat. It was suffocating.
Rin wrapped his free arm around Arquis's waist, holding the nobleman's hand when Arquis reached for it. "I've got you, darling." he whispered. "You're going to be alright." he kissed Arquis's cheek, arm still wrapped around him. "You're doing so well." they knew that Arquis might not be able to finish the plate, but this was progress. He would prefer if Arquis ate the whole thing, but they also knew that eating half of it was so much better than what he had been doing previously.
Ultimately, Arquis did not finish the plate. Half was the best he could do. Part of the issue was, well, his problem, but the other part was that he became full rather quickly. It was a bit worrying for someone as tall as him to be able to eat so little. He knew that was just another item in the very long list of things he’d have to work on.
He set the dish somewhere to the side and turned so that they were chest to chest. At least it was over. He left a trail of tiny kisses down their neck, draping his arms over his shoulders.
“Would you like me to go and fetch Ari?” he murmured. “I imagine that the two of you would like to spend some time together, hm?”
"Thank you for eating as much as you did, darling. I know it was hard." they said first, before answering Arquis's question about Ari. "I hope you can bring yourself to eat some more later, but this was still a great first step." after that, he paused for a moment, then answered the question. "And…yes. If you don't mind? I would love to be able to speak with him and catch up." he kissed Arquis's cheek, stayed snuggled close to him.
Arquis squirmed uncomfortably at the praise. On the one hand, it was very sweet that they wished to comfort him, but on the other, it made him feel even more pathetic. He couldn’t eat one full meal. This fact brought him pride, which only made him more distressed.
“Oh, um, thank you. And I do not mind, love. Not at all,” he replied. It would be a good distraction from his predicament, though it made him nervous to think of seeing the young man one-on-one. Rin was very sweet about his insecurities; not everybody was so kind. Ari had gotten to hear quite a bit. No matter how nice he was said to be, he would likely judge Arquis. In his experience, that was just how people were.
He clambered off the bed and went to the door. Surprisingly, eating had already begun to make him feel a bit better. He was still a tad nauseous, and his head throbbed, but he didn’t feel as dizzy or clammy. He picked up the glove from where he’d discarded it on the bed, then paused. Had Ari seen his scars? He tried to convince himself that it didn’t matter as he walked out the door.
Ari hadn’t given him his room number, so he walked through the halls in hopes of finding him. He also checked the dining area and the seating space that he and Rin had visited the other day.
Rin gave him a soft smile, letting go of Arquis when the nobleman got up from the bed. They really were happy that he had been willing to eat half of the meal. It wasn't quite perfect, but it was so much better than nothing. He knew that things were going to be hard for Arquis, going forward, to eat enough, but he was willing to help. Willing to do what he could to help Arquis.
Ari had headed back to his room, which could prove problematic for Arquis; how would the nobleman find him if he was gone?
Arquis ended up bumping into Honey. The blond was standing against a wall, thumbing the stem of a rather pretty dark red flower. It was, if he remembered correctly, the kind that bloomed outside. His fingers traced one of its leaves and stroked the length of a velvety petal. A bead of nectar dripped down his wrist, sliding all the way to his elbow.
“That is a lovely flower,” Arquis said as he approached. Honey startled, clutching the flower to himself, and then relaxed. That easy, charming smile was back, though it felt more authentic.
“Isn’t it?” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “Was gonna give it to Ari as an apology.”
“I do not think you need to apologize, but it is a very kind sentiment nonetheless. Were you by any chance on your way to his room? I was hoping to find him to bring him to Rin.”
“Was actually on my way to your room. Why’d he leave? Everything alright with our little bard?”
“Yes. We just, ah, needed a private moment. But Rin would like to see him again, so I have been trying to find him.”
“If I’m right, he was probably put in one of the rooms that was just cleaned. C’mon, follow me.”
They ended up finding Ari’s room relatively quickly. Honey and Arquis whisper-argued in the hallway over who would knock on the door. Both were pretty embarrassed at their past behavior. In the end, it was the blond who knocked. He sheepishly stuffed the hand not holding the flower into his pocket.
Ari answered the door after a few moments. He had clearly just finished a bath, as there was a damp towel still in one hand, and he had also clearly just pulled on clothes. His curly hair was still wet, and his skin was still damp in spots. "Ah…hello." he greeted, gaze flicking between the two. "Is something wrong?" his shirt was only half buttoned, and after a moment he reached down and began buttoning it up again, gaze flicking between Honey and Arquis.
Honey’s gaze flickered to Ari’s open, damp shirt, and he immediately bowed his head to avoid watching him button it. He awkwardly held out the flower. Arquis hid a smile; Honey was many things, but he was not usually so flustered. To help him save face, he stepped forward and gave Ari a polite smile.
“My apologies, I had not known you were busy. Nothing is wrong. Rin just wants to see you.” He waited patiently for Honey to chime in. When it became clear that he was rather tongue-tied, the nobleman added, “Honey brought you that as an apology.”
Honey finally spoke. “For leaving without saying anything. I’m real sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. You said you weren’t interested.”
(Also uh btw: yes Ari is a trans guy, no there are no breasts to worry about lol. He got that taken care of. just,,, so there's no confusion as to why he's so nonchalant about the shirt not being fully buttoned when he opened the door lmao)
Ari gave Arquis a quick smile. "I'll come visit, then. I just figured you two needed some, ah, time. For discussion." he didn't want to make Arquis feel embarrassed about whatever, precisely, had been going on. Then his gaze flickered over to Honey, and he gave the young man a soft smile, gently taking the flower. "The flower is…thank you, Honey. It's lovely." he liked flowers. Liked gardening, really. Not that Honey knew that. "As for…I wasn't uncomfortable, exactly, it is only that…" he thought for a moment, trying to think of the words that he meant. "I would welcome your company, but I am uninterested in sex without a romantic and emotional component. It is not about you specifically and whether or not I find you attractive. That is completely separate from my desire to have sex with someone. And…I was a bit blunt when I stated it, and I did not explain myself. I did not mean to offend you, Honey."
(that’s what I figured haha Honey’s just being very awkward cause you know he’s interested but trying super hard to be polite)
Honey went red in the face and shrunk back behind Arquis a little. He shuffled from foot to foot. The smile he eventually managed was unlike the rest of his smooth, calculating grins. It was lopsided and genuinely happy. His dimples were on full display. He looked like sunshine personified, glowing from the soft praise. Yet he was still clearly quite nervous. His hands fidgeted with one another now they weren’t busy with the flower, and he ended up picking at his nails.
“I meant it when I said that you don’t gotta explain. You said you didn’t wanna, and that should’ve been enough. But thank you anyways.”
Arquis nodded and returned Ari’s smile. His was much more cordial, though it wasn’t inauthentic. “Thank you very much for the privacy as well. Rin and I needed some time to talk, yes, but we managed to work things through. He seems to be feeling a bit better.”
(haha yeah that makes sense, just wanted to clear up any potential confusion lol)
Ari nodded a little bit. "You're welcome, Honey." he replied, still holding the flower gently. "Though now I must ask if there is a vase or something that I can put it in so that it doesn't die too quickly?" his gaze moved over to Arquis again. "Of course. And I'm glad he's feeling better. They seemed…a bit rough, I suppose." he shrugged one shoulder, running a hand through his damp curls.
Honey quickly looked around the hallway as if he would find a vase sitting around. Unsurprisingly, he came up short. He walked over, shook his head, and gestured towards Ari’s room. His smile had morphed into something uncertain. He still couldn’t tell if the stranger liked him or not. Most people didn’t actually enjoy his presence. They called him loud or obnoxious, nosey or dramatic. Which he was fine with. As long as he got paid well, they could—and often did—call him anything.
“I don’t know. Might be a candle holder in there somewhere? Kinda looks like a cup. Don’t know if that’ll be big enough, though I guess you could trim the stem. Not, uh, that you gotta keep it.”
Arquis watched the interaction with a sort of amused curiosity. Honey was obviously trying very hard not to look at Ari’s shirt. His eyes were glued to a chip in the door, like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.
Ari laughed a little bit, having noticed Honey's behavior. "You're allowed to look at me, Honey. If I was uncomfortable with the idea, I wouldn't have answered the door like this. It took a lot of work and time to get this all…sorted out." he waved a hand vaguely at his upper body, then realized after saying it that Honey would have no idea what this meant. Oh well. Better to leave it a mystery; a lot of guys didn't react well to the news of what body Ari had been born with. He turned to go back into his room, leaving the door open as he looked around for a cup or something to put the flower into.
Honey tilted his head, clearly curious, but still didn’t look at Ari. He admittedly wasn’t sure what they were talking about. Did he have some sort of surgery? His mind went to the medical texts he’d skimmed. Something to do with his stomach or lungs, maybe? The abdomen was an area he hadn’t reviewed much, except to look at the symptoms of breaking ribs. He could still feel the massive bruise on his chest that he’d gotten the other day. It was lucky that his ribs hadn’t been cracked. Puncturing a lung and bleeding internally would’ve been a disaster. He certainly didn’t have the funds to cover a major visit to the doctor.
Arquis gently tapped Honey’s shoulder. The blond actually gasped in shock, but he calmed almost instantly. “Are you quite alright?” he asked in a quiet, still slightly amused tone.
“He’s- he’s very-” That was all Honey could get out. His words had a strangled quality, like they’d almost choked him coming from his throat. He swallowed and folded his arms protectively.
“Very?” Arquis prompted.
“Mm, yeah. Very.”
Ari eventually located a cup, and filled it with water, then set the flower in it. He came back to the door, giving them both another quick smile. "Alright. I took care of the flower." he said, stretching a little bit. "Shall we head back to Rin now, or?" his gaze moved between the two, feeling a bit as if he had missed something, but unsure what, precisely, that something was.
Arquis said, “Of course,” at the same time Honey blurted, “Yeah!” They gave each other a brief look before the blond moved to the side, spreading his arms to let the other two go on ahead. His eyes darted to Ari’s shirt, which had ridden up as he’d stretched. As if he’d been scolded, he instantly switched to staring at the floor. His fair skin had turned rosy pink. The nobleman thought it was quite hypocritical that Honey had made that joke the other day about his blush when his was so obvious.
“Calm down,” he muttered in a low voice as he passed the flushed blond. Honey smiled nervously and laughed as if he’d said something funny.
“I’m calm. Perfectly calm.”
Arquis’s eyebrows shot up. “Indeed. So calm that you are sweating.”
Honey bumped him with his hip, sending him stumbling forward in the hall. The nobleman turned back, mildly offended, and sent an amused look to Ari.
Ari watched the two, amused, and followed them down the hall and back towards the room that Arquis and Rinlos shared. He found Honey's behavior rather endearing, in all honesty; the young man seemed sweet and a bit on the awkward side, perhaps, but not at all in a bad way.
