forum Soup Cult (Chowder and Stew welcom)

Started November 04, 2021 by @Otto_OtterOverlord

tune

Ōn’nyosh: Blinks in confusion, completely unfazed by the glare. What? Why would I test you? I’m not even lecturing you on anything. Snorts.

Pandora: rolls her eyes shut the fuck up…

Ōn’nyosh: Giggles. No. You don’t tell me what I can or can’t do, you… What the fuck are you? I can’t tell right now. You’re so… blurry. Laughs.

(Oof)

Pandora: grips her gun tighter, gritting her teeth I am someone you do not want to anger.

(Oh, he’s thoroughly drunk right now, lmao! He probably doesn’t even realize that he’s talking to Pandora, and he won’t remember anything once he sobers up, lmao!)
(Also, I’m just being goofy right now, lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Blinks again. Wh… why must you be so serious? Loosen up, will ya? Besides… I don’t even know what the fuck’s going on right now. Shouldn’t I have passed out by now? I don’t know. Sticks his forked tongue out without realizing it, and it just dangles.

(Lmaooo—)

Pandora: takes a deep breath, mumbling to herself dear gods… shakes her head if you would like to be unconscious, I can knock you out right now.

Ōn’nyosh: Waves his hand at Pandora, then sucks his tongue back into his mouth. No, no, no. I don’t need that. I’ve just got to… wait? Drink? I don’t know. What planet am I on? Looks around, then falls over. He bursts into laughter afterward, rolling onto his back and lounging there. This is nice. Very roomy. You want to join? Glances at Pandora.

Pandora: rolls her eyes again urgh… will you— she suddenly swats at the air behind her —go away? I do not want to deal with you.

Ōn’nyosh: Watches Pandora, then chuckles and swats at the air above him. This is fun. What game is this?

Pandora: raises her voice slightly, glaring at Ōn’nyosh it is not a game, reptile.

Ōn’nyosh: Just stares. Then, what game do you play?

Pandora: Do you think this is a fucking joke? tilts her gun subtly towards Ōn’nyosh, her finger hovering over the trigger Well, you are sadly mistaken. her voice is slightly shaky, and she looks very unstable

(This is such an overreaction but it’s literally in-character for her 💀)

(Lol. But, Drunk Ōn’nyosh is oblivious, lmao!)

Ōn’nyosh: Stares absently. What? Is just utterly confused.

Pandora: stares silently you absolute idiot.

Ōn’nyosh: That is Mr. Dumbass to you, thank you very much. Bursts into laughter.

Pandora: rubs her temples dear gods, will you please shut up?-

(Lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Snickers. No. And, the gods are idiots.

Pandora: moves right in front of Ōn’nyosh at an almost inhuman speed, shoving the muzzle of her gun against his head Say that again. I dare you.

(Haha violence)

(Drunk Ōn’nyosh at his finest, lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Blinks, not realizing Pandora was in front of him until her gun was against his head. He then starts laughing. Or what? You going to use your strange little crossbow to shoot me? Why not throw a few punches first? You might find a lot more fun in that. His eyes grow increasingly intense, a wild gleam coming to life. Why? Because the gods are idiots, and they can fuck off for all I care. Starts laughing.

Pandora: I can put a bullet through your head right now and kill you instantly. She snaps her fingers to emphasize her point Do you really want to piss me off? This is your last chance to… eh, possibly live. Choose your answer wisely.

Ōn’nyosh: Sighs. Firstly, I don’t even know what a ‘bullet’ is. Secondly, if you want me to shut up, just knock me out. I’ll be out for fucking hours. Thirdly, I’m a drunk jester, it’s my job to be a fucking prick. And, finally, if I had to choose how I’d die, I’d rather be in a brothel, in the arms of a lovely woman… Gets a dreamy look, and goes quiet. He seems completely unfazed by the lingering threat of Pandora’s gun.

Pandora: You disgust me. shoves her gun back into its holster and punches Ōn’nyosh square in the jaw

(My braincells left I apologize)

(You’re good, lol)

Ōn’nyosh: Snorts, then groans at the punch. He just lays there for a moment, then reaches into his nearby satchel and fetches a healing potion. He drinks it and his jaw heals. He then sits up against the wall and starts randomly whistling.

Pandora: rolls her eyes and glances to her side, visibly pissed off You really want me to murder somebody today, don’t you..? she mutters to the air

Ōn’nyosh: Stops whistling and looks at Pandora. If you want to kill someone, that’s your thing. I’m just here. Snickers.

Pandora: waves a hand dismissively yeah, yeah, okay. she crosses her arms, still muttering angrily to the air beside her

Ōn’nyosh: Snorts, then chuckles. Still want to know who you’re talking to.

Pandora: And it is still none of your business. Just drop it.

Ōn’nyosh: Why? I need a little more reason to drop the subject besides ‘non of your business’. That will just inspire me to question you more.