forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by Deleted user

tune

Edit topic

(aw thank you! I mean also sorry but mostly thank you! you’re a fantastic writer yourself!!)

Honey still flinched when they hugged him, but rather than pull away, he leaned into the embrace. He was much too tired to cry any longer; he’d shed all the tears he could possibly shed. He felt like a wrung out towel, used and thrown aside. But their kindness still made him want to weep, even though he couldn’t any longer. The thought that he’d done nothing wrong was destroying him from the inside out.

Arquis slowly sat on the bed on the other side of Honey. He took his time so that the man could feel the weight of the comforter shift. In a gentle manner, he asked if he had permission to hug him as well, and Honey gave it. He very gingerly wrapped his arm around them. It was a bit hard at first, finding a spot that wouldn’t irritate his scratches but also wouldn’t overlap with or bump Rin’s arm, but he managed.

“You are so courageous, Honey, and you care so much about those around you. Yet you treat yourself so harshly. Your life is not a waste. You have done so well. So, so well. And I am sorry that other people have decided to harm you, but Rin is correct. None of it is your fault. You did not deserve any of it.”

“But I went to his room-”

“Honey, you were looking out for him. You thought he was lonely. You didn’t know.” Arquis felt his power surge in his mind. He wanted to find the man that had done this to Honey, and he wanted to steal every bit of air left in his pathetic lungs. But he wasn’t going to leave Honey’s side. Besides, anger wasn’t what he needed at that moment.

Honey tugged Rin onto the bed with them and shifted so that they were all kind of hugging each other. A big, messy group hug. Arquis smiled sadly at his partner over Honey’s head, trying to comfort them. He gave them a squeeze on the shoulder before turning back to the blonde.

“Are you gonna tell Lovey?” Honey mumbled. “I really don’t want her to know. About this time, or any of the others.”

(np! thanks!)

"None of this is your fault." Rin repeated. "And…" they returned Arquis's glance, then moved his attention back to Honey. "Honey…she should know. Someone should know, so that anyone who has hurt you is kicked out." they let out a slow breath. "You don't…we won't tell anyone if you really don't want us to, but you should, at least, tell your sister." he kept gently holding onto Honey, sitting beside him. "Please. If she's a good person– and as far as I know, she is –then she will not blame you either, and should help you." he hesitated for a long moment, then added, "I know what…I know what this feels like. I know, Honey, that…that you want to blame yourself because if you aren't to blame in some way then why did you stay? I know what that feels like, and…and it's not your fault, just as it was not ever mine." they took a deep breath, steadying themself and knowing that they might need a good cry later, but that he couldn't afford to right now. Even still, their voice trembled for a moment as they continued. "And getting help, reaching out, is the hardest thing you will ever do, because you blame yourself so much and you think everyone else will too. But, Honey, the truth is that no one should be blaming you. It isn't your fault." their ability itched to find that man and compel him to hurt himself. To make him pick up a knife and use it against himself, to jump out the window. But he wouldn't do that. He couldn't cross that line.

Honey moved away from Arquis and returned Rin’s embrace. Even after everything he’d just been put through—even though he’d literally been beaten black and blue, even though he was horribly hungover, even though he was still scared out of his mind—he wanted to comfort them. Nobody had ever spoken to him like that before. He could hear the tremor in their voice, and he needed to show Rin that he understood. He didn’t believe them yet. It still felt like his fault. There were a hundred things, he told himself, that he could’ve done to prevent the situation from happening. But he understood what they had been through on some level. He understood.

“I can’t tell her,” he replied weakly. “I don’t want her to feel bad. You- you can’t tell her I said this, but part of it’s ‘cause of her. When we first got here, I told myself that I’d never let her get hurt. So when the bad ones came around, ‘cause they always do, and they needed a punching bag, I just- I just-” He shuddered. “I let ‘em do what they wanted. I didn’t say yes. I never said yes, but I didn’t say no. None of them would’ve taken no for an answer. I didn’t want her to have to- not for someone like that. She’s so good, y’know? She’s too good for that.”

Rin kept holding Honey, listening quietly as the young man spoke. "First, just because you never said no doesn't mean that you were okay with it. It doesn't equal consent, and trying to protect your sister doesn't put you at fault for anything. Second, she's…she's going to feel bad either way. You're her brother, and she's going to be upset that this happened to you. She's going to be angry, though not at you. And that's…that's a good thing, in some ways." he bit his lip for a moment. "And…and Honey…with you so beaten, you're not going ot be able to work for at least a week, and what do you think those men are going to do?" they hated that they were saying this, hated that they knew it would scare Honey, but they also hoped, in some way, that it would startle Honey into telling someone. "They're going to find someone else. If we tell someone, if we get these men kicked out of the hotel, forever, then they can never hurt you or Lovey or any of the other employees here ever again."

Honey clamped a hand over his mouth. His eyes grew unfocused again, and he drew in a deep, unsteady breath. He had never considered what would happen if he got too banged up to work. There had always been some part of him that was convinced that it would never get that bad. He’d always told himself that he’d stop it before he got really hurt, even though, well, he got hurt frequently. In a lot of different places. Most of the time, however, the men weren’t so aggressive. They liked to try things out. Rough him up a bit, say awful things, make themselves feel all high and mighty. He’d never been attacked so directly.

“I can still work,” he protested, even though the thought made bile rise in his throat. “Still got one good wrist. Face isn’t too pretty, but most of ‘em don’t really care about that. Just my mouth. And if they do, then, shit, I’ve got a lotta makeup. I can make it work. Nobody else has to get hurt, and I can keep making money.”

Arquis was quiet. As much as he wanted to enter the conversation, it had become oddly private. He bit his lip and tried to find something to look at. One of the candles was flickering away on the floor. He watched wax spill over the top and drip down, then disappear into one of the cracks in the ground. That was enough of that, he thought, turning his attention back to his partner. He could at least be there for them if they needed him.

Rin shook his head faintly. "No. You can't, Honey." their voice was so soft, gentle and kind. "You can still work and make money here without going to men that are only wanting to hurt you." they kept their arms gently wrapped around Honey, trying to comfort him as best that he could. "There are plenty of people here who would do that, without any pain. Arquis and I are monogamous, yes, but that certainly isn't true of everyone here. And those that aren't, the good ones, they'll pay you. Without hurting you. You don't need this, and you absolutely do not deserve it." they very gently rubbed their thumb in soft, slight circles on Honey's shoulder, careful to avoid any of the injuries.

Honey’s breath hitched. He shook his head roughly. Arquis had seen him upset; stricken; teary-eyed; bleeding. But he had never seen him so embarrassed. His cheeks were hot and red, and he couldn’t look Rin in the eyes anymore. He even pulled away from them, like he was scared they were going to reject him for what he was about to say.

“You don’t get it. People like that don’t want people like me. I’m messed up. So damn messed up. I can’t even- can’t even do it without crying anymore. I cry every time, even before it starts. All those men that you’re talking about? The men that want me? They really like that. Being with them is the only thing I’m good at anymore. Yeah, I know it’s screwed up. But I can’t do anything else. Nobody else would have me.”

“Oh, Honey,” Arquis said softly. He didn’t want to interrupt, but everything he’d said had made him emotional. Honey sighed in blatant relief as he touched his arm, which made Arquis feel like crying. When was the last time before that day that Honey had felt a kind touch? When was the last time he’d been given a genuine, non-sexual compliment? He was so starved for them that they seemed to overwhelm him.

Rin took a deep breath. "Then stop. Surely there is something else you could do, Honey. The kitchen, or…or the front desk, or something." They replied softly. "You don't have to sleep with men who only want to hurt you, who like seeing you cry." They let Honey pull away, but didn't drop their arms from around him. "Do you understand, Honey? You don't have to do this. You don't have to sleep with these men if you don't want to. No one should be forcing you."

“It’s not that easy,” Honey replied hoarsely, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “I tried once. Really did. Said I was gonna be done with it all, screw it, wasn’t gonna let anyone touch me anymore. But then Divinity got here, and she was- she was so young, and she needed a job real bad. Worse than me and Lovey. So I let her take the shifts at the front desk, and I went to try and do kitchen work, right? But they didn’t need anyone, and I kept messing shit up, so I tried- I tried some other stuff. But I’m only good at one thing.

“And there was this guy who came around. He was a real mean son of- he was real mean and rough, but he paid well, and I thought just the one time. Just the one time. And then the next time. And then I said, y’know, it’ll just be this one guy. Won’t do anymore. Just the one. But he had a friend that was in town, and I- I really needed the money, you know? I was running so low, ‘cause I hadn’t gotten paid for messing around in the kitchen or anything, and I- I just- I thought it wasn’t that bad, y’know? Nothing I hadn’t done before.”

Honey sank back into the pillows, throwing his good arm over his forehead. It was clear, Arquis felt, that he’d never told anyone this story before. This was a confession of almost religious proportions; he was purging himself of sin, ridding himself of years of agony. He didn’t look better for it, but Arquis knew the feeling of wanting to share one’s story. Wanting for all of the bad things to just be out in the open.

“I know,” he started again, then stopped, lips trembling. “I know this place is bad for me. I hurt every day. I hurt so bad. And my mind’s all outta sorts. But I don’t have anywhere else to go, y’know? It’s not home, but at least I’m not starving anymore. And if I’m gonna get beat up, then damnit, I might as well have a roof over me.”

Rin listened quietly as Honey told his story, heart hurting as he heard what the young man was saying. "I…there has to be something else you can do." They said slowly. "Something. Anything. At least…at least report the abusive ones, and then…it would be, ah, safer. For everyone. If Divinity wants to sleep with the patrons, then…if the bad ones are out, why not? Honey, you won't need to protect anyone if there is no one here to protect them from." They hoped this made sense. "I know the hotel sells itself as this…this haven for sex and secrecy and all of that but that doesn't mean abusive assholes should get to stay here."

Honey stroked a thumb along the bottom of the shirt, then ran it along the waistband of the sweatpants. There was a flicker of something in his eyes: resignation. Not hope.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “I just don’t know. I wanna think that it’s that easy, but I know it’s not gonna be. Nothing’s ever easy around here. And what if they get mad and come back, y’know? And try and hurt people. Good people. I’d be responsible. Nah. Can’t let that happen. Better if it’s just- if it’s just me.”

“You are a good person, too,” Arquis reminded him. Honey’s mouth did that thing again where it twisted to the side, like he was physically holding something back. “And it worries me, Honey, that you find yourself so expendable. Earlier, you said that you thought the man was going to kill you. He did not, but it is possible that another will.”

Honey’s jaw clenched. He didn’t think he had it left in him, but his vision was going misty. “Better me than anyone else. I’m already damaged goods. They might as well finish the job.”

"Doesn't the hotel have some sort of security? A guard or anything?" Rin asked. "And no, Honey, you absolutely do not deserve to be hurt. No one does. Not Lovey, not Divinity, and not you either." They looked straight at Honey, wanting the young man to meet his eyes. "As Arquis said, you are not expendable, and you do not deserve pain. Just because you've been hurt already doesn't mean you deserve to e hurt more. That's a toxic, awful cycle to trap yourself in, Honey. I've been there. I know how hard it is. But you have to let us in. You have to let us help you. You have to let others help. Because you don't deserve this pain. You don't deserve to die, your life is not worth less just because you've been abused."

Honey couldn’t meet their gaze; his own was too blurry. A single, burning tear slipped down his swollen cheek, but it was the only one. He dabbed at his face with the blanket as he drew in painful-sounding breaths. Arquis wondered if his ribs had begun to hurt. Even if they weren’t broken, they did look pretty badly bruised, which couldn’t feel great.

“I- I don’t think I can, I- I need- I really need the money, and I can’t just- can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, just please don’t be mad. Please? Please, I can’t take it if you’re- if you hate me, I just- it’s too hard.”

Arquis actually did start crying then. He dried his eyes with his own sleeve and shook his head. “We do not hate you. It is simply concern for your well-being. We want you to be safe. You have done such a wonderful job protecting those around you, but now it is time for us to do the same for you. Please let us help you, Honey.”

Whatever Honey was going to answer was cut off by a knock on the door. The blonde startled. Acting on instinct, he tugged Rin and Arquis behind him. He was shaking so hard that Arquis was worried he might pass out, but he managed to stay upright on the bed.

“Sorry, we’re busy. Come back later,” he called in that lazy, charming drawl of his, though it had an obvious tremble to it. Arquis had never seen someone so focused in his life. He could tell that every last scrap of the young man’s energy was being channeled into this performance. It was one of the saddest sights he’d ever seen.

Whoever was on the other side made a delighted humming sound. It was Lovey. “Honey? So they found you, huh? Where’d you disappear to?”

Honey squeezed his good eye shut. His voice became softer, less fake. “Just, y’know. About. But I can’t talk right now.”

“Why not? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine. I’m just- I’m-” His eyes opened, and he looked pleadingly at Rin. “Ah, y’know. Busy.”

Lovey was so quiet that Arquis thought she had left. But then her hand landed on the doorknob. It rattled, but she didn’t open it yet. “Hey, um, boys? Should I come in there?”

Rin hesitated for a long moment. If he said nothing, Lovey might come in. If he told her to leave, she might. But…but if she saw what had happened to Honey, wouldn't she help? But he didn't want to say anything that Honey so clearly didn't want him to. He took in a slightly trembling breath, looking from Honey to the door. "I can't." He whispered to Honey. "I can't tell her to leave." Not when he had been in nearly this exact situation before, when if he had just let someone in, their suffering would have been over. He couldn't let that happen to Honey again, but he didn't want to take away any more choices from Honey. "I'm sorry."

Honey’s face fell. He looked at Arquis, but the nobleman just shook his head. He hated to do this to him, but Lovey needed to know. If she didn’t find out then, she’d find out later. It was just a matter of time. He had a feeling that the longer Honey waited, the less likely he’d be to tell her, and the cycle would start all over again. The longer he kept the lie going, the more the two of them would be hurt.

“Please don’t. I’m not decent. It’ll be weird.” Honey forced a laugh. It was weird, hearing him make the sound while wearing such a desperate, tired expression. “Listen, I’ll see you later today. Just talk to me then.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. The door opened.

Her reaction wasn’t immediate. She didn’t scream or stagger backwards or start crying. She just looked at him. Arquis saw her register his wounds in order. The black eye was first, then the smaller bruises on his face. The bandage on his neck. His wrist. She couldn’t see the scratches or the bruising on his chest due to the shirt, nor could she see any of the minor wounds that were on his lower half. But what she had seen was enough.

“Oh. Oh no. No, no, no,” she whispered. He looked away, trying to hide his face from view, but she stepped forward and settled onto the bed beside Rin. She tried to reach out to gently touch his face—to tilt it back towards her, to better register the severity of the injury—but he flinched. That was the final straw. Her eyes welled up and she wrapped her arms around herself.

Honey gave her a false, soothing smile. “Aw, it’s alright. It’s alright. I’m fine, it was just a little scuffle. I’m fine, really. No need to cry.”

“Someone hurt you?” she whimpered. When he started making excuses, she looked to Rin. “Someone really did hurt him?”

Rin nodded faintly, keeping his arms gently around Honey. "Yeah. Arquis and I were…we were right, though I wish we weren't." he replied, voice soft. "I'm sorry, Lovey." at least she didn't seem to think they had done it? That had been his worry; that Lovey would come in and see, and think that he and Arquis had hurt her brother. But she didn't seem to, which was good, because htye hadn't done anything to him.

Honey went silent. He’d run out of excuses; there was nothing more he could say to make the situation look better. He sagged back into Rin’s arms and stared down at the comforter. His brow was furrowed, but he didn’t look angry, just upset.

Lovey sniffed and tucked her hair behind her ear. It was probably, Arquis realized, a nervous habit, because she did it again as soon as a strand fell loose. Her expression kept shifting from sadness to anger, anger to sadness. It finally landed on something unrecognizable. Her shoulders straightened, and she took deep breath.

“Okay. Alright. Who did it?” she asked. Arquis recognized the emotion as determination, and he immediately felt his chest tighten. That was too close to anger. Sure enough, Honey tensed. He was bracing for impact.

“Nothing happened. I’m fine,” he mumbled. It was the perfect picture of survival mode. Don’t anger the other person further. Speak softly, don’t make eye contact. Choose the neutral option. Do anything and everything to avoid another blow, and if that didn’t work, then switch strategies. He was clearly calculating options in his head. His eyes darted to the door, then to Arquis and Rin’s arm, and Arquis realized with a pang that he was prepared to protect them if necessary. Just like he’d done when his sister first knocked. Deep down, Honey had to know that she wasn’t going to hurt anyone, but survival mode didn’t take logic into full consideration.

“You’re not!” Lovey cried. She gestured at him, but it was too sudden. He winced. She instantly drew her arms back with a mortified squeak. “Oh, no, I wasn’t- I wasn’t gonna hit you. But look at you!” Her fingers fluttered to her mouth. “You aren’t fine, Honey.”

“I will be!” he said desperately. “This’ll all go away! Won’t take long. He didn’t break anything, so I can go back to work. Tonight, even! I can work tonight. And everything’ll be fine, just like it was before.”

"You aren't working tonight." Rin replied, frowning very faintly. "Or tomorrow. Or ever again, if you don't want to." his voice was firm, but they were still doing their best to be gentle. "Now please, tell…tell Lovey who did this, so she can make him leave. Please, Honey. No one here is going to hurt you, I promise. We just want to help." they had noticed too, the way Honey seemed so ready to protect him and Arquis, even with how injured and hurt the young man was. "Please." they gently rubbed Honey's shoulder, trying to comfort him a bit.

The touch did help. Honey relaxed just a bit, but he still seemed extremely hesitant. He toyed with the drawstrings of the sweatpants for a while. The tactile, repetitive motion of it steadied him further. As he began to tie them in a knot, he finally started to speak. He still wasn’t looking at any of them, but it was progress.

“I don’t know all of their names.”

Lovey froze. “Names?” she breathed. Her eyes flooded with tears once more, and she didn’t hold back. They spilled down her pale cheeks, leaving shiny, wet trails behind. “There was more than one?”

“Not this time. This time, it was just the one.”

“This time?” she repeated hysterically, voice cracking. “How many times has this happened?”

“I don’t know. You kinda lose track after a while, but, um, I don’t know. Just… just since we got here, I guess.”

That set her off. Arquis moved over, offering her a hug. She took it. She reminded him so much of his sisters that seeing her so heartbroken hurt. He murmured soft reassurances to her as she cried, letting her wet his shirt with tears.

“Honey,” she finally sobbed, “Honey, we were sixteen! That was four years ago!”

Rin flinched when he heard how old they had been. He hadn't known how long it had gone on. Hadn't known it had been four years, hadn't known it had started when Honey was so young. "Honey." he said, voice trembling for just a moment. "I…" he took a breath, trying to steady himself and keep from crying as well. The more they found out about this the more familiar it became. Like a bad dream they couldn't wake up from. He kept rubbing Honey's shoulder, still trying to give him some form of comfort.

Honey instantly noticed the change in their disposition. He looked up at them, worried, and gave him a gentle pat on the forearm. His hand was shaking, but he didn’t let that stop him. Arquis wished he were the one doing it, yet he knew he shouldn’t leave Lovey while she was so distraught. He gave them a soft, apologetic look over her blonde curls and made a mental promise to check in on him as soon as possible.

Lovey was bawling like a child. Her words were punctuated with loud gasps, as if there wasn’t quite enough air in the room. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve done something about it! I- I could’ve helped you!”

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Honey admitted. It was odd. He was still visibly shaken, but he was almost the calmest in the room. Arquis realized that he was still, even then, putting on a show. That mask of his was persistent. “And we needed the money. It’s alright. It’s really alright, Lovey. I’m gonna be okay. I know how it looks, but it’s all surface level shit, and it’ll heal.”

“Surface level? So he didn’t- he didn’t-”

“He didn’t,” Honey confirmed. He even smiled. Arquis frowned. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth, either. The man had tried. Honey had still been attacked. And there were the others, too, all of the ones he’d said had hurt him worse. It was upsetting that he wasn’t going to bring them up just so he could make her feel better. Would he hide what had happened to him? What details would he erase? How much of his pain was he going to bury just to give her peace of mind?

Rin took a few more breaths, closing their eyes for just a moment to give themself a few moments to breathe. Then they opened their eyes again, looking at Honey. "That doesn't make it okay." he said. "Any of it. Any of them. You– you were a child, Honey. 16 years old…that's…that's still a child. That's too young." they glanced over at Arquis, then at Honey again. "And even now, you're not a child, but…that doesn't make it okay. This can't go on, Honey, please. Just because this one only hurt surface level," which wasn't precisely true, but they let it go, "doesn't mean that others won't. I know they have. You said so. Please, Honey."

Honey looked down. Something horrible yet necessary happened in that moment. His guard dropped, and everything—all of his feigned confidence, his bravado, his smile—fell away. He looked exhausted. He hadn’t slept for very long, and he didn’t seem to have eaten in quite some time. Arquis wondered how he was still going.

“I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt,” he mumbled.

Lovey managed to pull herself together. She cleaned her face with the sleeve of her coat, breathed in and out about three times, and tucked her hair back twice. She even adjusted her earrings. It was odd, the ways in which people prepared themselves for battle. Honey’s armor had come down, and, judging by the looks of it, she’d put hers on.

“I know. You’ve always been like that, even when we were really young. Always standing up for everyone. But you don’t have to do that anymore. You don’t have to be strong right now. Okay?”

His lips trembled again, but he didn’t cry. “Okay.”

“Okay. Good.” This was a much better approach than earlier. She was being gentle. Not condescending, but just genuinely sweet and soft. “Now, can you tell me the names or room numbers of the people? I’ll go get Pretty and she’ll get them out of here for you. You won’t even have to see them.”

And so Honey finally, albeit reluctantly, told her. He gave her the room numbers of three different men. Arquis felt nauseous. To think that there were three men currently at the inn with them that had made Honey feel so unwanted was almost too much. He had to battle down his anger.

Lovey nodded. “This is a good start. We can talk more about the rest later and make a list, but for now I’m going to go find Pretty and get these guys out of here. You can stay here until I get back.”

She left in a hurry. Arquis, free to move at last, made his way to Rin and kissed them on the cheek. He took their hand, giving it a loving squeeze. Later, whenever they had the time, he was going to shower them in praise and adoration and touch until he was sure they were alright. But at that moment, Honey was still a concern.

Rin listened quietly, still rubbing Honey's shoulder. When Arquis came over, they leaned their head against him for just a moment, a soft exhale leaving his mouth, then he sat up again, looking at Honey. "See? I told you Lovey wouldn't be angry at you." their voice was soft. "Now they're going to make those men leave. No one is going to get hurt by them here." they were quiet for a long moment, just breathing. "Do you want something to eat? I doubt you've had any food in a while, and it would be good for you to eat something, and have some water."

Honey didn’t answer for a long time. His mind wasn’t in the room. He was smoothing his hand over his thigh, over and over again, and Arquis tilted his head. It reminded him of something, but he wasn’t sure what.

Eventually, Honey came back to reality. He scratched his forehead and asked what he’d missed. Arquis repeated Rin’s question for them, and Honey shrugged. There was something still detached about it, like he was moving without thinking and hearing without comprehending. For a moment, Arquis thought it might’ve been because of the hangover, but then he understood. Panic and exhaustion. It was always panic and exhaustion, in the end.

“Honey, do you have a favorite food?” he asked in the softest tone he could muster.

“Ice cream.”

Arquis blinked. Honey was in such good shape that he would’ve assumed something else. “Excellent. What kind of ice cream?”

“Any kind.”

“Ice cream it is, then. It is a bit of a strange lunch, but that is perfectly fine.” Arquis smiled at Rin, giving them a soft peck on their palm. “How about you, my love? Is there anything you are craving?”

He wanted something that would comfort him. "Hot chocolate." he replied softly. "With cinnamon?" they gave Arquis a faint smile, knowing Honey had probably been dissociating; they had done that before, they knew what it was like. They reached up to gently cup Arquis's cheek with their hand. "Thank you, darling." they rubbed his thumb against Arquis's cheek for just a moment, then turned back to Honey, knowing the young man was still fragile. "How about you take a nap again, Honey? Or at least close your eyes?" they suggested. "Or, if you would prefer to stay awake, we can find something else to do."

(making some hot chocolate rn also sorry this is unnecessarily long)

After giving his partner another kiss on the hand, Arquis quietly got up from the bed. He took one of the leftover masks from the welcome basket and slipped it on. The odds of him running into anyone on the way to the kitchen were slim, but he didn’t want to risk it.

For the second time that day, he followed the winding hallways to the front desk, then made his way to the kitchen. As he got close, he wondered how the power outage would affect the production of food. They couldn’t use stoves or lighting, but a lot of cooking, he knew, was done by hand. Surely they could still whip something up if they used candlelight. Hot chocolate especially wasn’t that hard, but he wasn’t sure about ice cream. He’d never made it before.

The woman that greeted him was a plump with a heart-shaped face and double braids. She didn’t seem to be much older than him. When he politely told her the request, she nodded thoughtfully and began to take out some pots, pans, and a number of different ingredients. She actually allowed him to help as she prepared hot chocolate over an open fire. He washed his hands before chopping up the chocolate while she got the milk and cinnamon ready.

He’d assumed ice cream would be harder to make, but as it turned out, she actually already had some prepared. It was a brand new, small tub of vanilla ice cream with caramel swirls and chocolate mixed in.

“Is this for Honey?” she asked. He raised a brow, surprised, and she smiled. There was something motherly about it. “He’s a sweetheart. Always checks in on my daughter and I. When I found out he loves the stuff, I started making some extra just for him. I don’t think he’s caught on yet.”

Arquis thanked her for all the help, and he really meant it. He took multiple thermoses of hot chocolate, several spoons, and the ice cream back on a serving tray.

In the meantime, Honey told Rin that he wasn’t sure he could sleep, even if he tried.

“I’m tired, but I just can’t. Not until I know everyone’s safe,” he explained, tucking his knees to his chest again. “If someone gets hurt ‘cause of me, I- I just can’t.”

(nice! cinnamon really is good in it, btw, it's my personal favorite way of making it lol. it's fine!)

Rin listened to Honey's words, arms still gently wrapped around him. "I see." he said softly, rubbing Honey's shoulder again. "But, Honey, no one is going to get hurt. You haven't hurt anyone, and other people's actions cannot be blamed on you." they thought for a moment. "Uhm. Let's say that…I talk to someone, right? I tell him that his shoe's untied. Something…perfectly mundane, perfectly safe, yes? But then he punches me for telling him. Am I at fault for being punched? No. I just did something that I thought was harmless. It's the same thing with you. You did things that…that you maybe didn't think would cause harm, but then you got hurt. But, in this situation…what if you were a bystander? You knew the person who punched me. You knew that they might punch me. You didn't say anything. Are you at fault for me being punched?" they paused for a long, long moment, to let Honey think about thier words. "No. You are not. Because you have no control over another person's actions, and cannot be blamed for them."

(duly noted!!)

Honey sighed, frustrated, but he didn’t disagree. He just didn’t have it in him to fight anymore. It was typically easier, he had learned, to just go along with what people said. Just do as they wanted him to do. Put his hands wherever, smile, let them use him as an experiment or a battleground. Which got him thinking. He was alone with Rin. They still hadn’t stopped touching him. He was in their grip. They could do anything he wanted to Honey, and he wouldn’t be able to move or fight back. He was in perfect choking range, and he swore that he could feel their mouth on his throat, biting into that spot beneath the bandage, hard, then harder, then breaking through the skin, and he started crying again. They hadn’t even done anything, yet he was crying. He’d told him, hadn’t he? He always cried. But maybe they were one of the ones that liked that. Hadn’t he just been talking about punching? Honey couldn’t remember.

Was he going to die this time? It felt like he was dying already. Everything was so dark. But that was because of the lights. They were off. Who’d turned the lights off? Had they done it? When? Before he woke? No, it was earlier. He remembered being drunk in the dark, curled up. Waiting. Hoping someone would find him; hoping no one would.

(just not a ton of cinnamon, or it'll be way too spicy. just like. a small amount mixed in)

Rin froze when Honey started to cry, inhaling. "Oh. Oh, no, Honey…" they didn't know what to do. They ended up letting go of him, knowing that while touch was comforting for them, it did the opposite for Honey. Knowing that in this situation, their instinct to hug and touch would only do more harm than good. "I'm sorry." they said, hands hovering anxiously for a moment before he began to wring them together. After a moment, he brought a candle over for more light. "Honey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." he was helpless now, uncertain how to help, uncertain what he could say or do to help Honey calm down. They fidgeted anxiously for a few seconds, then tucked the blankets up around Honey to act as a shield. Maybe that would help. He also got up from the bed and opened the curtains a little to let in more light. They didn't open them far; just a crack, enough for some light to penetrate into the room.