forum Saimota Rp with @brave_soldier

Started January 17, 2022 by @heeey-bitchhhhhhhhhhh

tune

"I thought so. I'm not gonna press into it, but whatever it was, it was just a dream.."

" i know…"

"You…you sound kinda unsure about that…" He sighed. "It's none of my business to press into the matter, but…" He trailed off, unable to continue..

" its from some of the things ive seen.. it haunts me…"

"I guess you do deal with crime scenes all the time. It makes sense.. Now…how do I calm you down…?"

" it passes.." he said and nuzzled the other.

"Well, I've got you now, so it's okay.." He fell silent for a moment, trying to think about what to do, what to say. "If you're up to it, maybe we could do something to take your mind off of it?"

" if you want, but i wanna sty home.."

"I never said we had to leave the house, silly." He chuckled in an attempt to brighten the situation. "I was thinking more along the lines of just getting some snacks and playing a game or something."

" okay, what do you have in mind?" he asked

"We'll discuss it later. I'm gonna go get the snacks." He stood up, walking out of the room to head to the kitchen. Once alone, he sighed softly to himself. "I can't distract him forever..but I can't bring myself to worry him after what he's been through.." He remained in the hallway after, losing himself in his thoughts..

shuiki waited patiently "hmm.."

Kaito remained caught up in his thoughts for a while, only snapping back into reality by force, the thoughts fading away quickly as the exhaustion and subsequent weakness that had been building up caught up to him.. For the second time that day, the second time in mere hours, he ended uo collapsing.

shuichi heard the thump, running to help the other " kai!" he said worriedly.

In an attempt to not worry his boyfriend more than he already was, Kaito attempted to get back up, trying to play this off as nothing more than merely falling. "I'm okay, Shu… I just tripped, that's all.."

shuichi teared up " im sorry but i dont believe that.." he said and braced the other

"Of course you don't believe me…" He sighed as he looked away. "Fair, really.. I just don't want you to worry about me.."

" im going to worry, its natural."

"I can't argue with you there, but I don't want you overreacting to nothing.." He broke free of the other's embrace, only trying to prove something. "Let's just get the snacks and act like this never happened.." The attempt at a distraction was in vain, as he had to quickly lean against the wall to remain upright..

tears pricked in shuichis eyes when kaito did what he did " f..fine…" he would let kaitos pride go first, walking to the kitchen as his own pace. kaito wanted to prove something hed let him, after all, hed been this way since shuichi had known him.

I hurt him, didn't I…? He sighed internally as he watched the tears forming in Shuichi's eyes. I can't hurt him more than I already have… I've got no reason to lie to him any longer.. I need to just be honest…

He sat at the table in the kitchen upon entering, looking at Shuichi. He couldn't remain standing to begin with. "Shuichi, sit down.. I think we need to talk… I want to clear things up, so if you're willing to listen, I will.."

shuichi sighed, lowering his head " you sit, im just going to cook something.." he said, shuichi wouldn't make eye contact

"Shuichi, I just wanna explain… I know things aren't okay.. Just listen to me and let me explain it all! Please, Shuichi…! I'm done lying to you!"

" fine!" he said and sat down. he wiped tears from his eyes

Kaito looked at the other, a serious expression on his face for the first time since they had met back up. "Look, remember that thing I told you about back in high school? Remember all the health issues, the times I was actually coughing up blood? Well, I thought they were getting better! Heck, I haven't had any issues in the three years since we graduated! At first I thought you were right.. The only thing I lied about then was th certainty of it all.." He sighed. "I'm not entirely sure what's going on myself, but I think it's happening again.. This is how it all started back in high school.. I just didn't want to make you think you'd lose me, so I kept myself quiet about it…! I was lying to myself more than I was to you…! I know I might die! I know that's a possibility! I just don't want to accept that! I'm sorry…"

shuichi let his tears fall "i..im sorry.." he said " i didn't meant to snap. its what i do under stress. you kept saying everything was okay and it wasnt, it never will be. the sooner we accept it the better.lets just be together while we can…"

"Shuichi…!" He was going to try and tell the other to not think like that, but the mindless optimism was nothing more than denial by then.. "Never mind.. I can't tell you to look on the bright side. You've accepted this already, and while I can't, I know not to force it onto you… I just don't want to accept it.. Surely I can't be dying… Surely it'll get better… That's what I've been telling myself. I'm so sorry, Shuichi…" Even he was fighting back tears by then…

shuichi shook his hed " iv been around it so much ive just grown numb.." he said and got up and wrapped the other in a tight hug.

Kaito hugged the other as tightly as he could.. "Still, I'm really sorry.. I got so lost in my own denial that I thought I really was okay.. You had all reason to yell, to be upset.. I just don't think I can ever accept it…" He sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore.."

" be here, be in the moment and live it like its your last.." he said softly ad rubbed the others back