Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Vincent: Where’s Acacia?
Jasper: She went to go fight everyone who has ever insulted me.
Vincent: Sounds fun, who's first?
Jasper: Herself. She’s been yelling into a mirror for the past 2 hours.

@larcenistarsonist

Sparrow: Tell me about yourself!
Thaddeus: I get jealous of my phone when it dies.
Sparrow: Thad. nO-

Fennec: Four months.
Sparrow: What's up with him?"
Fennec: FOUR MONTHS.
Rune, trying not to laugh: It's nothing really -
Fennec: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS -

Sparrow: We did it… we won!
(Monster of the week slowly stands back up)
Bane:
Rune:
Fennec: (Starts to point)
Sparrow: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at it. We. Won.

Daedra: How the hell do I talk to people.
Aarion: Stand in front of them and press A.

Solizha: What’s with the creepy Furby?
Caliga: Oh, It’s possessed-
Solizha: …And you kept the possessed Furby because….?
Caliga: What can I say, I like their sense of humour.

Caliga: If you ever trip and fall in public, get up, laugh to yourself, and say to anyone looking: "Sorry, it's just been so long since I inhabited a body."

Geobi: It's dark in here, does anyone have a flashlight?
Hyo: Yeah, just gimme two secs
Hyo: [cracks Aarion's back like a glowstick]
Aarion: [starts glowing]
Geobi, terrified:

Thaddeus: I really hope you two have a good explanation for this-
Sparrow: We actually have three.
Fennec: Pick your favorite.

Sparrow: You guys know that stuff can kill you, right?
Thaddeus: (Lighting a cigarette) That's the whole point.
Rune: (Pouring her 5th shot) We're trying to speed up the process.
Bane: (Nodding vigorously with a mouthful of raw cookie dough)

Daedra: Hyo has no self-preservation skills left. Their need to win has decimated them.
Geobi: I'm not so sure about tha-
Daedra: No no, watch.
Daedra: Hey Hyo! Race you to the bottom of the stairs!
Hyo: (Throws theirself out the window)

Thaddeus: What are your superpowers, Rune?
Rune: Moving without making a noise, hand to hand combat, generic ninja skills, swordfighting, yo mama jokes-
Thaddeus: Yo mama jokes?
Rune: Well, I'm an orphan, so they can't say anything back.
Thaddeus:
Thaddeus: Kid-

@Tidermelon

Red: We did it… we won!
(Villain of the week slowly starts to stand back up)
Ikxenspump:
Hazel:
Windy: [Starts to point]
Red: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at it. We. Won.

Soul: If you ever trip and fall in public, get up, laugh to yourself, and say to anyone looking, "Sorry, it's just been so long since I inhabited a body."

Scissors: Four months.
Lyra: What's up with him?
Scissors: FOUR MONTHS.
Rocket, trying not to laugh: It's nothing, really-
Scissors: YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT FOR FOUR MONTHS—

Sound: What’s with the creepy Furby?
Ice: Oh, it’s possessed.
Sound: … And you kept the possessed Furby because…?
Ice: What can I say, I like his sense of humor.

Soul: Now for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!
Spirit: incoherent violent screaming

@Fairlyodd

Alune: There’s only one thing worse than dying.
Alune: [Rips off paper to reveal ‘Varian dying’.]
Varian, nodding: Me.
Alune: No-

Trace: What does coffee taste like?
Leaoni: Unfortunately not as good as it smells.
Trace:[nods] Ah, like shampoo.

Frost: We get along, right Leaoni?
Leaoni: I'd sell you to satan for a corn chip.

@requiemisback

Embry: We did it… we won!
[Traitor of the week slowly stands back up]
Chrins:
Mayou:
Viktor: [Starts to point]
Embry: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at it. We. Won.

Mayou: Just be yourself.
Viktor: Really? Mayou, I have one day to win over Mecha’s parents.
Viktor: How long did it take for you guys to like me?
Chrins: Couple of weeks.
Liam: Six months.
Embry: Jury’s still out.
Viktor: See Mayou? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

Embry: Croissants: dropped
Chrins: Road: works ahead
Mecha: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Liam: Shavacado: fre
Viktor: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Mayou:
Mayou: …I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you

Mecha: Babe, it’s time to get up
Embry: I’m not sleeping. I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out

Chrins: We get along, right Embry?
Embry: I'd sell you to satan for a corn chip.

@Starfast

Dallas: Thoughts on the Gaboon viper?
Andor: Mostly just ‘OUUGHOHOHOHOOOOO’ if we’re being totally honest here

Ara: Hannibal is a case study in nominative determinism
Andor: Wait a second, I gotta google something.
Andor:…
Andor: Yeah, ok this is funny.

Milo: We get along, right Ravina?
Ravina: I'd sell you to satan for a corn chip.

Adelia: Babe, it’s time to get up
Gerard: I’m not sleeping. I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out

Andor: Croissants: dropped
Dallas: Road: works ahead
Jackie: BBQ sauce: on my titties
Brian: Shavacado: fre
Holly: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
Ara:
Ara: …I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Victor: Hannibal is a case study in nominative determinism
Jackson: Wait a second, I gotta google something.
Jackson:…
Jackson: Yeah, okay, this is funny.

@Pickles

Emily: Okay yeah I'm gonna make myself sick eating strawberry frosting by the spoonful but it's fucking good and I'm gonna do it and have no regrets
Mara: I support this

@requiemisback

April 20, 2021

Luca: Shake it
Delilah: [shimmies]
Luca: I meant the bottle

May: What's your name, dumbass?!
Juniper: Who are you calling a dumbass?!
May: That is what I want to know.

Luca: Just don’t touch anything.
Delilah: Okay!
Delilah, after Luca leaves: I’m gonna touch everything.

May: I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.
Juniper:

Mariette, in an apron: Ah, May, you’re home.
Luca, in a matching apron: We missed you.
Delilah, wiping down the counter: Dinner’s about ready. Come sit down.
May:
May: We are going to get kicked out of IKEA again. I can tell.

Mariette: Yes, hello 911 I’m being forced into adulthood and I don’t like it please send help

Delilah: Look! I made a spoon hat!
Luca: That explains why I have to eat my soup with a fork.

Delilah: [signs a legal document with a glitter pen]

Juniper: I'm 10 times funnier than you
May: 10 times 0 is still 0 though
Juniper: Jokes on you, I can't do math

Juniper: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.
Luca: I’m guessing they’re all horrible distortions of the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.
Juniper: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically god.
Luca: There it is.

@threesacult

April 20, 2021

Drinn: We get along, right, Vio?
Vio: I'd sell you to Satan for a corn chip.

@LiteralCyborg

April 20, 2021

Ethan: What's the first thing you notice about a guy when he walks towards you?
Reese: The audacity
~
(Playing twister)
Ethan: Okay Minnie, right hand red.
Minnie: (Ends up underneath Sage)
Sage: Okay, you're doing this on purpose aren't you?
Ethan: Oh I stopped spinning like 7 turns ago, I'm honestly surprised that you two didn't notice.
~
Sage: Are you holding my hand?
Minnie: That was an accident.
Sage: …You're still holding my hand Mina-
Minnie: It's still an accident.
~
Ethan: Five girls that will ruin your life;
Ethan: 1. Minnie
Ethan:
Ethan: Minnie, if you're hearing this, give me back my goddamn thin mints
~
Reese: This is so dumb.
Minnie: The higher I am, the better I can see!
Reese: You can- you can fly-
Minnie: HUSH NOW REESE. I am s e a r c h i n g.
~
Minnie & Sage: Guys… we're dating.
Ethan:
Reese:
Ethan: Alright, pay up Reese.
Reese (Mumbling): Goddamnit-
~
Ethan: Ugh, you guys aren't thinking straight!
Minnie: …But I'm not-
Ethan: You know that's not what I meant.
Sage: Neither am I-
Ethan: Oh. My. God.
Reese: You're not even-
Ethan: ALRIGHT. FINE. EVERYONE THINK GAY THEN, JUST COME UP WITH A PLAN I AM BEGGING YOU.
~
Sage:
Sage: MINNIE HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO BURN WATER-

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Peter: What's the first thing you notice about a guy when he walks towards you?
Kate: The audacity

Playing twister
Aristotle: Okay, Percy, right hand red.
Percy: Ends up underneath Alessandra
Alessandra: Okay, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Aristotle: Oh, I stopped spinning like 7 turns ago. I'm honestly surprised that you two didn't notice.

Kels: Are you holding my hand?
Tereza: That was an accident.
Kels:…you are still holding my hand.
Tereza: It's still an accident!

Casey: Five girls that will ruin your life:
Casey: 1. Harper.
Casey:
Casey: Harper, if you're hearing this, give me back my Thin Mints-

Beatrice: Ugh, you guys aren't thinking straight!
Oscar: …But I'm not-
Beatrice: You know that's not what I meant.
Nathaniel: Neither am I-
Beatrice: Oh. My. Gods.
Marian: You're not even-
Beatrice: ALRIGHT. FINE. EVERYONE THINK QUEERLY THEN, JUST COME UP WITH A PLAN, I AM BEGGING YOU-

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Oleander: We did it! We won!
The Erl King slowly starts to stand back up
Oberon:
Vivian:
Iam: Starts to point
Oleander: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at him. We. Won.

The Erl King: If you ever trip and fall in public, get up, laugh to yourself, and say to anyone looking, "Sorry, it's just been so long since I inhabited a body."

Titania: What’s with the creepy Furby?
Robin: Oh, it’s possessed.
Oberon: And you kept the possessed Furby because…?
Robin: What can I say? I like his sense of humor.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Tabitha: Thoughts on the Kreeli viper?
Kay: Mostly just ‘OUUGHOHOHOHOOOOO’ if we’re being totally honest here.

Beck: You know, Hannibal is a case study in nominative determinism
Casey: Wait a second, I gotta google something.
Casey:…
Casey: Yeah, okay, this is funny. Good job.

Kay: We get along, right Tabitha?
Tabitha: I'd sell you to the Director for a corn chip.

@Tidermelon

May: What's the first thing you notice about a guy when he walks towards you?
Zinnia: The audacity.

Steven: Just don’t touch anything.
Zinnia: Okay!
Zinnia, after Steven leaves: Aster, I’m gonna touch everything.

@Pickles

Ceza: Would you date a guy shorter than you?
Eleria: …No
Ceza: Isn't that kind of shallow?
Eleria: I am a lesbian. We're literally dating. We are in a lesbian relationship

@Tidermelon

April 22, 2021

Dark, giving an inspirational speech: Take a stand. Fight back. Don’t let bullies bully you.
Sound: [grabs a music stand and slams it over Sky’s head]

@Starfast

Dallas: How old are you really?
Andor: Forever eighteen, dude!
Dallas:
Andor:
Dallas:
Andor: I turn 26 next month.

Andor: I don't really know how to do anything.
Andor: But I'm bi.
Andor: I'm so bi.
Andor: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.

Milo: Now for some witty back-and-forth banter! You go first!
Ravina: Incoherent violent screaming

Dallas: What the hell does the letter m stand for in "smexy"?
Ara: M stands for slope.
Dallas: Thanks.

Andor: What if Mike was short for Micycle?
Ara: Y'know, sometimes I wish the 2012 apocalypse really happened.

Milo: How do tall people sleep? Wouldn't their feet go right past the blanket?
Garzlan: Milo, it's three in the morning.
Milo: You can't sleep?
Garzlan:
Milo: Is it the blanket?

Ara: Tell me something I don’t know.
Andor: The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Ara:…what the fuck?

Holly: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

@requiemisback

Luca, giving an inspirational speech: Take a stand. Fight back. Don’t let bullies bully you.
Mariette: [grabs a music stand and slams it over May's head]

Juniper: Look me in the eyes and tell me American kids pledging to their fucking flag every day isn't the most cultish shit you've ever heard of

Clyde, texting Luca: I just walked into a bar and somebody yelled dibs
Delilah, texting Luca: HELP IM DRUNK AND I JUST SAW CLYDE COME INTO THE BAR AND I YELLED DIBS

Delilah: It’s a feeling stick, whoever has the feeling stick can express their feelings without being judged.
Delilah: [Passes the feeling stick to May]
May: [Breaks the feeling stick in half]
Delilah: Believe it or not this is not the first time someone has broke the feeling stick
Delilah: [Pulls out a much smaller stick]
Delilah: I also carry travel size

Luca: Did it hurt?
Mariette: What, when i fell from heave-
Luca: When you fell off the fridge
Mariette: …
Luca: …
Mariette: Who told you?
Luca: I overheard Delilah and Clyde talking about it.

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Ophelia: How old are you really?
Oleander: Forever eighteen.
Ophelia:
Oleander:
Ophelia:
Oleander: I turn 260 next month.

Hal: Now for some witty back-and-forth banter. You go first!
Wolsian Soldier: Incoherent violent screaming
Hal: I don't really know where to go from that.

Tabitha: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

@requiemisback

Bri: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!
Russel: [helps Julia get onto the counter]
Janet: [kicks Mayako off the sofa]
Bri: As you can see, the relationship is complicated.

Janet: I'm Mayako's emergency contact.
Nurse: So you're here to pick them up?
Janet: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.

Russel: I know you must be surprised to see me
Bri: Not really, you stalked me all over the city

Mayako: I love murder mysteries
Liam, trying to impress them: I’ve been a suspect in 50 murder cases

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Mourton: I'm Nich's emergency contact.
Officer: So you're here to pick him up?
Mourton: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

@Fairlyodd

Varian: Can I have some water?
Hastur: [starts chugging his water bottle]
Hastur: [chokes from drinking too fast]
Hastur: [spills water all over himself]
Hastur, coughing: I don't have any water.

Kallai: What made you change sides?
Zatian: I suppose I just finally saw, the error of my ways.
Kallai: …. It was Leaoni wasn’t it?
Zatian: It was Leaoni.

Varian: We have to stop meeting like this.
Alune, very tired: You broke into my house.

Graham: I'm Varian's emergency contact.
Officer: So you're here to pick him up?
Graham: I'm here to remove myself as his emergency contact.

Hastur: I know you must be surprised to see me.
Alune: Not really, you stalked me all over the universe.

Leaoni, texting Trace: I just walked into a bar and somebody yelled dibs.
Kara, texting Trace: HELP IM DRUNK AND I JUST SAW LEAONI COME INTO THE BAR AND I YELLED DIBS

@evastardust RRAAAARRL

Kat: Can I have some water?
Frankie: Starts chugging his water bottle
Frankie: Chokes from drinking too fast
Frankie: Spills water all over himself
Frankie, coughing: I don't have any water.

Ayla: What made you change sides?
Huxley: I suppose I just finally saw the error of my ways.
Ayla: …. It was Fern, wasn’t it?
Huxley: It was Fern.

Alessandra, texting Aristotle: I just walked into a bar and somebody yelled dibs.
Percy, texting Aristotle: HELP I'M DRUNK AND I JUST SAW ALESSANDRA COME INTO THE BAR AND I YELLED DIBS

@Tidermelon