Raz shook his head "it's ok, I didn't mind. It was…interesting." he said with a tilt of his head and slight sigh. "Let's keep exploring the shops, we still have a few more hours before we have to eat." He said, not wanting to go back to the hotel while feeling guilty.
"Well, if you say so. Come on, I think I saw something sparkly with Logan's name on it over there." Jay pointed to the other side of the boardwalk with a chuckle.
"he'll definately like something sparkly." Raz agreed, taking a deep breath and following Jay to the other side of the boardwalk. Jay's demeanor was infectious and soon his guilt dissipated as they explored around the beaches and boardwalk shops
Jay picked up a few things for their friends back home but mostly just enjoyed exploring the beach with his husband. But by the time the sun was dipping down over the horizon, his feet were starting to ache. "Hey, it's getting late, we should head back."
Raz nodded, pressing a kiss Jay's cheek. "And I'm getting hungry. Can't wait to see what delicious food the hotel offers." He gently rested his head on Jay's arm and sighed, swinging the small bag of trinkets and souvenirs they had bought
"Oh I'm sure it'll be wonderful, that's without a doubt." Jay assured, guiding Raz back to their hotel room and dropping back onto the bed with a relieved sigh. "Ah, that's better."
Raz smiled fondly at his husband and sat beside him on the bed, thoughts of what had happened earlier coming back.
"Hey love," he bit his lip, unsure how he could ask his question. "How did you feel when I told you I had Logan move in with me?"
Jay raised an eyebrow at him. "The first time or when I actually met him? Because those are two very different answers." He couldn't help but wonder just where Raz was going with this line of questioning.
"uhm, both." He replied, hugging a pillow to his chest and resting his head back against the headboard of the bed. "I know when you first came home you weren't entirely thrilled."
"Well that's true. When you first told me I was a little unsure about it but I know how lonely it gets waiting for people to come home and I know what this job does so I didn't mind that much. But when I got home and saw how close you two were as roommates compared to how close we were as lovers, I wasn't too happy about it. I'll admit, I was jealous. He got the time that I didn't, that I wasn't allowed. Why do you ask?"
He nodded slowly as Jay explained and took a deep breath "very recently I find myself getting jealous. But not the same as you I guess. Is it normal to feel it so strongly?" He asked, glancing over at Jay.
"If it was recently, I'd definitely say so. We were engaged, I've been home for a while, the connection is stronger. So of course it's normal." He was a bit lost in thought as he answered but when he realized what Raz asked, his eyes widened. "Wait, recently? Did something really happen and you didn't tell me?"
He hummed softly as Jay replied, feeling slightly more reassured. He shifted on his side to face Jay and glanced away guiltily. "Yeah, kinda. I didn't want to worry you and I thought it was something I could just push aside." He explained softly, now feeling worse for not confiding in Jay.
"Worry me? Raz, sweetheart, I'm always worried about you. Worried if you're alright, if you're safe, if you think this was all some big mistake. I'm not going to stop being worried about you, probably ever. We literally got married this morning. If you don't feel like you can talk to me about anything now, when will you?"
"I- I don't know, Jay. I'm not used to talking to someone about how I feel or what I think, not even to Logan. I just learned to push all that aside and deal with it on my own time." He took a deep breath, "it was selfish anyways. I can't control what other people do around you. It's just that When I saw what that woman was doing i…" He trailed off and buried his face into the sheets.
"Raz, it's okay to be jealous. It's okay to be possessive, to want to protect what's yours." He gently pulled Raz's face out of the sheets to look at him. "You're not being selfish, it's not stupid or something to push aside. You're not in this alone anymore. It's our life now. Your problems are mine and my problems are yours. We work on them together. It might take a while and I'm willing to wait but you'll get used to it, I'm sure."
Raz sighed softly, pressing into Jay's touch and kissing his palm. "You're right, you're right, you're always right." He peeked up at him and offered a small smile "thank you, for your patience and understanding, my king." He gently laced their hands together and scooted closer to Jay. "And for the record, none of this was a mistake. I'd do this all again in a heartbeat. The only thing I regret is not finding you sooner."
"And my only regret is not taking you with me when I left." He kissed Raz's forehead with a smile. "Now then, didn't we say we were getting dinner?"
He trilled softly at the kiss, pressing as close as he could to Jay's form. "The distance only made me love you more."
He reluctantly sat up and ran a hand through his hair "we did, wanna see the buffet downstairs or have it brought to us so we can eat up here?" He asked, glancing over his shoder at Jay.
"I say have it brought to us. I'm taking this week as an excuse to never have you leave my arms. I'll order room service and then we can cuddle." Jay moved over to the bedside table, pulling out the menu and waving Raz over so he could see it too.
"that sounds like absolute heaven," he replied bouncing over and settling beside Jay, looking over his shoulder at the dinner menu. He looked over the menu, toying with Jay's hair as he tried to decide what to eat. "Maybe the grilled fish and Rice? That sounds pretty good."
"It does. And I'm thinking the chocolate strawberries for dessert. I got a box when I was in Germany and it is probably the closest I will ever get to heaven." He licked his lips, near salivating at just the memory of the perfect box of desserts.
"definately the chocolate strawberries. Maybe two for midnight snacks. We're gonna have to get one for Logan before we leave. He'd have our heads if we told him we had chocolate and didn't bring him any." He laughed softly and dialed the number on his phone "oh, what about drinks?" He asked quickly
"Hm, coconut water is fine for me. Normally people go alcoholic but I can't really process alcohol that well so I'll pass on that one."
"I'll enjoy the alcohol for the both of us then." He said with a nod as someone picked up the other end "hi, I'll take two orders of the grilled tilapia with wild rice, hold the paprika on one of them. And two orders the chocolate strawberries. Yes, please for room service. Oh and a coconut water and bottle of rose for drinks." He gave the person their room number and thanked them thoroughly before hanging up "alright dinner will be served in an hour-ish." He declared
"Rose? Really? Never took you for a wine drinker. You and my brother would get along splendidly. Damn stuck up prude is always gushing about the wine he brings to family occasions, always has. If he wasn't my brother, I would've punched him by now."
Raz shrugged sheepishly "I don't drink a lot but it's a special occasion so I thought it fitting." He grinned and tilted his head "do you hate it because he's annoying about it or because you can't enjoy it?" He teased, braiding Jay's hair now that it was long enough. "If he's stuck up then I'd doubt we'd get along."
"Both. Definitely both. Demons can't process alcohol as well as humans can so while I technically can drink, it can only be a little or I'll be in the hospital." He chuckled, leaning back so that Raz could reach him better. "Besides, I thought you'd want to be sober for the first night I get to really have you~" He purred with a smirk, letting himself slip a little bit into old habits.
Raz chuckled lightly, a light blush rising on his cheeks but he did nothing to hide it as he found a hairtie and brush in one of the luggage bags. "I will, my heart. Don't you worry." He replied, unbraiding Jay's hair and combing it, trying to get out the tangled bits before rebranding his hair.
Jay simply smiled, relaxing into Raz's touch. "What is with you and playing with my hair recently? Is this your silent way of telling me I need to get a haircut because I already knew that." He raised an eyebrow at Raz even though he couldn't see him.