forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

tune

Ren: What are you doing-
Chan: Taping the toaster onto the ceiling.
Ren: Why?
Chan: Why not?
Ren: Fair point.

Chan: I'm the most responsible person here!
Himari: You just set the kitchen on fire
Chan: And I take full responsibility for that
Ren, in the distance: Why the fuck is the kitchen on fire?

Chan: I love all my friends equally.
Chan: Ren, Himari, Elyas, Zephyr…
Chan [looks as smudged writing on hand]
Chan: …and Locker!
Lucas:
Lucas: Okay that's it-

Lucas: How do people not swear? Like where does their anger go? How do they show their enthusiasm? What if they stub their toe? Like saying golly gosh isn't really going to cut it Barbara-

Elyas: Is 4 a lot?
Ren: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Yes

Elyas: Is 4 a lot?
Jay: Depends on the context. Berries? No. Murders? Also no

Chan: Lucas, I typed up your cat's symptoms into the thing up here, and it says she may have network connectivity problems

Chan: It's a good thing I still have this sexy cat costume!
Zephyr: I really don't think you were the target audience for that costume
Chan: There is nothing gendered about a sexy cat
Lucas: Hey, that's my sexy cat costume

Chan: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast
Ren: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Chan: Breakfast burrito, but yeah
Ren: I pity your dentist
Chan: Joke's on you. I don't have a dentist

Quill: Do you think four is a lot?
Jack: Depends on the context. Dollars? No. Murders? Also no.

Perry: Quill, I typed up your cat's symptoms into Google, and it says she may have network connectivity problems

Cyrus: I'm gonna eat a healthy breakfast today.
Anthony: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Cyrus: It's a breakfast burrito, but yeah.
Anthony: I pity your dentist.
Cyrus: Joke's on you, I live in America! I can't even afford a dentist!

Mizu: So, I'm going to grab a healthy breakfast
Freya: Are those gummy bears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?
Mizu: Breakfast burrito, but yeah
Freya: I pity your dentist
Mizu: Joke's on you, we both have the same dentist!
Freya: Shit, you're right.

---

Freya: Do you think four is a lot?
Mizu: Depends on the context. Dollars? No. Murders? Also no.
Freya: Mizu, what the absolute fuck.

---

Mizu, running to a mirror: Freya, come look at this. It's disgusting.
Freya, being dragged along: What is it-
Mizu, pointing at Freya's reflection: Look at it! It's awful!
Freya: I'm gonna tear these stitches apart and separate us from each other by force somday, I swear to GOD.

Harper and Arin this time because i love my chaos boys with some special guests

---

Arin: Crazy how beavers just see running water and just think to themselves, "Well someone has to put a stop to this"
Harper: I–

---

Harper: My esteemed rival
Arin: My beloved nemesis
Harper: Dearly detested
Arin: My cherished inevitable downfall
Harper: My adored archenemy
Arin: My loathed love
Harper: Most admirable antagonist
Arin: To whom it may aggravate
Harper: To my significant bother

---

Arin: drops a whole shelf of paper towels on himself
Harper: sighs. I fail to understand how you've become such a reprehensible fuck waffle
Arin: A being such as yourself could never understand my brilliance
Arin: gets hit by a package of toilet paper

---

Arin: I have good news and I have bad news. Which first?
Harper: Good news
Arin: I won't do it again

---

Arin: I do sort of like it when he's rude to me. Hopefully that's more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing.
Harper: I'm rooting for 'got bashed in the head a few too many times' thing

---

Selena: When's the last time anything went according to plan?
Harper: I don't think there was a last time

---

Harper: These so-called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch

---

Harper: How do I make this date romantic?
Kit: Try being mysterious
[later]
Damien: So where are we going?
Harper: None of your fucking business

---

Damien: What are you drinking?
Harper: Vodka
Damien: Straight?
Harper: No, gay
Damien: nOT YOU THE VODKA

---

Arin: sees bee on Harper's arm
Arin: Uh oh
Arin: rolls up a newspaper
Arin: Babe… stay still…
Arin: using newspaper as a megaphone THERE'S A FUCKING BEE ON YOU

---

Kit: So how did you know you loved Damien?
Harper: Well, a good romance starts with a good friendship
Arin: And a bad romance starts with a "ra ra ah ah ah ro ma ro ma ma ga ga ooh la la"

Mikoto: I guess being bloodthirsty gets a little distracting.

Emiko: Before I burn in hell for all of eternity, who wants to admit they have a crush on me

Kage: I need something other life to fuck me

Kage: cUfF mE dAdDy

Some Rando: You suck dick.
Kage: I will not suck dick unless you pay me. Some of us do have standards

Kage, in ep 2: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years

Hikari: greetings whore
Kage: [fortnite dances]
Hikari: I hope to god you're adopted

Hikari to Asumi: Hey! Don’t play dumb with me; that’s my brother's job

Kage: Fuck you, I'm going to bed and I'm going to die.

Ai (to the group): Ok listen up you little shits…
Ai: Except you Hikari, you're an angel and we're glad to have you here.

Hanaki: Listen to me, Kage…! I wanted to let you know something, mister! You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, and I’ve had enough of it!
Kage with a knife: Hm? Hi, Hana?
Hanaki: Uh… wonderful weather we're having here

Unzari: Well excuse me but some of us don't have to gain monetary gain for other's happiness
Unzari(in a flashback) Blowjobs! Get your free blowjobs! No dolla. Just want to make you holla.

Robin: Crazy how beavers just see running water and just think to themselves, "Well someone has to put a stop to this"

Tabitha: My esteemed rival
Kels: My beloved nemesis
Tabitha: Dearly detested
Kels: My cherished inevitable downfall
Tabitha: My adored archenemy
Kels: My loathed love
Tabitha: Most admirable antagonist
Kels: To whom it may aggravate
Tabitha: To my significant bother

Percy: I do sort of like it when she's rude to me. Hopefully that's more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing.
Douglas: I'm rooting for 'got knocked out a few too many times' thing.

Darius: When's the last time anything went according to plan?
Jon: I don't think there was a last time

Tabitha: These so-called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch

Tabitha: How do I make this date romantic?
Imogen: Try being mysterious
Later
Eliot: So where are we going?
Tabitha: None of your fucking business

Vio: My esteemed rival
Ibis: My beloved nemesis
Vio: Dearly detested
Ibis: My cherished inevitable downfall
Vio: My adored archenemy
Ibis: My loathed love
Vio: Most admirable antagonist
Ibis: To whom it may aggravate
Vio: To my significant bother

Cyrus: Crazy how beavers just see running water and think to themselves, "Well someone has to put a stop to this"

Dally: I do sort of like it when he’s rude to me. Hopefully that's more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing.
Cyrus: I'm rooting for 'got knocked out a few too many times' thing.

Quill: When's the last time anything went according to plan?
Cyrus: I don't think there was a last time.

Azazel: These so-called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch

Mizu: These so-called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch-

---

Freya: When's the last time anything went according to plan?
Mizu: I don't think there was a last time.

---

Mizu and Jacquelyn texting

Mizu, very drunk: Can you pick me up?
Mizu: Oh, nevermind, you don't have to do that, I'm home now…
Jacquelyn: Yes… I was aware of that when I was dropping you off at home.

Valerie: Come on down to today to buy some corn or we will sacrifice your newborn

Tori: Bro they should make transgender transformers

Mizu: Come on down today and buy some corn or we will sacrifice your newborn [demonic screeching]
Freya: I hate being conjoined with this maniac of a man.

---

Freya (to Mizu): You are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe has ever conceived.
Mizu: Don't you think I know that already?

---

Freya: Guess what, Mizu.
Mizu: What?
Freya: It's garbage day.
Mizu: It's garbage day?
Mizu:
Mizu: I can't believe they made a day dedicated to me!

Quill: You are by far the most cursed thing the universe has ever created.
Azazel: You really think so? Thanks!

Quill: Hey, El, there's something I need to tell you… I'm trans.
Elias:
Elias: You're a transformer???

Titania: You are by far the most cursed thing the universe has ever created.
Robin: You really think so? Thanks!

Teenage years
Becca: Hey, Jackson, there's something I need to tell you. I'm trans.
Jackson:
Jackson: You're a transformer??

Saiki: Hey, Midori, there's something I need to tell you… I'm trans.
Midori:
Midori: You're a transformer???

---

Shin: You are by far the most cursed thing the universe has ever created.
Midori: You really think so? Thanks!

---

Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Levi: Shut the fuck up, Midori.

Varian: [Sticks leg in the air] Give me attention.

Kallai: How do you usually come up with solutions?
Wren: Last-minute panicking.

Zatian: Prepare to die.
Varian: Okay, but before you kill me just know that as a ghost I will have a lot more free time on my hands to be annoying, and you're at the top of my list of people to haunt.

Frost: Crazy how beavers just see running water and just think to themselves, "Well someone has to put a stop to this"

Leaoni: My esteemed rival
Zatian: My beloved nemesis
Leaoni: Dearly detested
Zatian: My cherished inevitable downfall
Leaoni: My adored archenemy
Zatian: My loathed love
Leaoni: Most admirable antagonist
Zatian: To whom it may aggravate
Leaoni: To my significant bother

Varian: When's the last time anything went according to plan?
Alune: I don't think there was a last time.

Zatian: These so-called 'feelings' are ruining my reputation as a heartless bitch.

Varian: So, what's Alune's type?
Wren: He's into mysterious guys.
Varian: I could be mysterious.
LATER
Alune: Varian! What are you doing?
Varian, about to start a rebellion: IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

[Leaoni and Kallai texting]
Leaoni, very drunk: Can you pick me up?
Leaoni: Oh, nevermind, you don't have to do that, I'm home now…
Kallai: Yes… I was aware of that when I was dropping you off at home.

Perry: You need to learn to enjoy the little things in life!
Quill: Like ants?
Perry: No, I mean-
Quill, nodding: Baby ants.

Anthony: I only worry about three things: everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen.

Vio, to Ibis: Careful bro you're making this dramatic fight seem kinda homoerotic
Vio: Bro watch out you kinda sound like you're flirting when we argue
Vio: Bro I'm serious you're making our esteemed rivalry look so gay oh my god

Azazel: My roommate says our house is haunted.
Azazel: Well, I've been living there for 300 years and I haven't noticed shit.

[Sirens going off in the distance]
Quill, who has not once broken the law in her entire life: They found me

Anthony: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Jack: What did Cyrus and Dally do now?
Anthony: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Anthony: So, what's Dally's type?
Cyrus: I think he likes mysterious guys.
[Later]
Dally: Hey, Anthony, what are you-
Anthony: None of your fucking business

The Sandman: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game–
Cyrus, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
The Sandman:
The Sandman: I was actually going to have Azazel hunt you all down and kill you for my entertainment, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is.

Perry: You know what your problem is? You’re so cute, nobody’s ever told you to shut up.
Quill: You think I’m cute?!
Perry:
Perry: Fuck

Cyrus: Bisexuals and pansexuals are not confused!
Quill: Actually, I am. Constantly. All the time.

Jack: Hey, Azazel-
Azazel, tearing up: Sandy used to call me Azazel.
Jack: That’s because it's your fucking name.

Cyrus: Anthony, Dally, Jack, this is Quill, I found her on the side of the-
Anthony: Hecate, you can’t just adopt random children.
Quill: Exists
Anthony, already won over: Okay, fine, I'll make an exception because she seems very polite

Matthew: Would you like me to make your gums bleed
Elijah: No but, I appreciate the offer

Elijah, summoning Hunter: I summon you from hell
Matthew: You called
Elijah: Get the fuck out my house

Frost: You need to learn to enjoy the little things in life!
Sana: Like ants?
Frost: No, I mean-
Sana, nodding: Baby ants.

[Sirens going off in the distance]
Sana, who has not once broken the law in her entire life: They found me.

Felix: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons
Felix: Also I just got stabbed
Felix, glancing at Tyler: don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Felix: Ah yes. Me. My boyfriend. And his 500 dollar four foot tall stuffed seal.

Nyron: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.
Nyron: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive of all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

Nyron & Seb standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Seb
Nyron: You will love again because time will heal a broken heart.
Nyron: throws a brick BUT NOT THAT BASTARD'S WINDOW.

Fiona: A person doesn't dye their hair that color unless they have psychological problems.
Kay: Hey! My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems.

Dominic: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Oliver: Just ask Isabel out already. The worst she can say is "no".
Ryley: Yes, but that would be devastating.

Lydia: But do you like me or do you like me like me?
Everett, literally on one knee proposing: Take a random guess.

Sebastian: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet”, but it’s just as fast.
Sebastian: The Lord yeeteth away, and the Lord yoinketh away.
Dominic: I feel like I’m having a stroke.

Kay: I’m so disappointed in all of you. I’m at a loss for words.
Fiona, signing in the corner: Despite being at a loss for words, Kay continued to yell at them team for the next 2 and a half hours.

Mary-Grace: We gotta get there fast.
Robert: Then I should drive.
Mary-Grace: Why?
Robert: I have nothing to live for and I drive like it.

Nyron: trying to get Jamie to join the villains side
Jamie who’s basically a supervillain already: But do you offer evil dental?
Nyron: Of course? I mean, I offered extremely good evil workplace benefits. If one of your teeth gets knocked out in battle, I can assure you’ll get the best evil dental ever.
Jamie, already making a deal with them: Lol seems legit.

Jack: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Jack: Also, I just got stabbed.

Dally, glancing at Anthony: I don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

[Standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Quill]
Jack, to Quill: You’ll love again. Time heals all wounds.
Jack, throwing a brick: But it won’t heal that bastard’s window.

Azazel: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Cyrus: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet”, but it’s just as fast.
Love: The Lord yeeteth away, and the Lord yoinketh away.
Emmett: I feel like I’m having a stroke.

Percy: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Percy: Also, I just got stabbed.
Percy, glancing at Alessandra: I don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Oscar
Beatrice, to Oscar: You’ll love again. Time heals all wounds.
Beatrice, throwing a brick: But it won’t heal that bastard’s window.

Oleander: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Henry: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet”, but it’s just as fast.
Jackson: The Lord yeeteth away, and the Lord yoinketh away.
Geneva: I feel like I’m having a stroke.

Shin, to Midori: Careful bro you're making this dramatic fight seem kinda homoerotic
Shin: Bro watch out you kinda sound like you're flirting when we argue
Shin: Bro I'm serious you're making our esteemed rivalry look so gay oh my god

---

Midori: “Yoink” is the opposite of “yeet”, but it’s just as fast.
Levi: The Lord yeeteth away, and the Lord yoinketh away.
Shin: I feel like I’m having a stroke.

---

Shin: Why?
Midori: Why what?
long pause
Shin: Why did you tape Saiki onto the wall?
Midori: Oh, that. He was pissing me off.
Saiki: You're only mad at me because I accidentally bumped your elbow-
Midori: Shut the fuck up-

Standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Midori
Shin, to Midori: You’ll love again. Time heals all wounds.
Shin, throwing a brick: But it won’t heal that bastard’s window.

---

Saiki: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Saiki: Also, I just got stabbed.
Saiki, glancing at Levi: I don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Freya: Why?
Mizu: Why what?
long pause
Freya: Why did you tape Jacquelyn onto the wall?
Mizu: Oh, that. She was pissing me off.
Jacquelyn: You're only mad at me because I accidentally breathed on you.
Mizu: Shut the fuck up-

---

Standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Mizu
Freya, to Mizu: You’ll love again. Time heals all wounds.
Freya, throwing a brick: But it won’t heal that bastard’s window.

---

Mizu: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

---

Jocelyn: Hey, Mizu-
Mizu, tearing up: Jacquelyn used to call me Mizu…
Jocelyn: That’s because it's your fucking name.

Ren: You need to learn to enjoy the little things in life!
Elyas: Like ants?
Ren: No, I mean-
Elyas, nodding: Baby ants

Ren: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Zephyr: What did Chan and Lucas do now?
Ren: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared

Jay: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game–
Chan, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Jay:
Jay: I was actually going to have Meg hunt you all down and kill you for my entertainment, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is

Chan: A person doesn't dye their hair that color unless they have psychological problems
Lucas: Hey! My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems

Ren: Where the hell are you two? I've been trying to reach you for hours!
Chan: Oh yeah, we went to a bar, had a good time, then got into a bar fight, so we left and uh…
Lucas, mouthing: Escape room
Chan: We went to an escape room
Ren: Who the fuck goes to an escape room after a bar fi-
Ren:
Ren: You guys are in jail again, aren't you?
Lucas, picking a lock in the background: It's a room, and we're trying to escape!

Jacquelyn: Where the hell are you two? I've been trying to reach you for hours!
Freya: Oh yeah, we went to a bar, had a good time, then got into a bar fight, so we left and uh…
Mizu, mouthing: Escape room
Freya: We went to an escape room
Jacquelyn: Who the fuck goes to an escape room after a bar fi-
Jacquelyn:
Jacquelyn: You guys are in jail again, aren't you?
Mizu, picking a lock in the background: It's a room, and we're trying to escape!

---

Mizu: I lured you all to my lair because I crave the deadliest game–
Jocelyn, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Mizu:
Mizu: I was actually going to have Jacquelyn hunt you all down and kill you for my entertainment, but now I’m really interested in whatever Knife Monopoly is

---

Freya: How do you radiate so much chaotic evil energy while being a big softo at the same time?
Mizu:
Mizu: What in the absolute fuck is a softo
Freya: Just answer the fucking question, smartass

Varian: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Varian: Also I just got stabbed.
Varian, glancing at Alune: Don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Standing outside the house of a boy who dumped Sana.
Leaoni, to Sana: You’ll love again. Time heals all wounds.
Leaoni, throwing a brick: But it won’t heal that bastard’s window-

Frost: A person doesn't dye their hair that color unless they have psychological problems.
Leaoni: Hey! My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems.

Varian: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Sana: Just ask Zatian out already. The worst she can say is "no".
Leaoni: Yes, but that would be devastating.

Alune: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Wren: What did Leaoni and Varian do now?
Alune: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Alune: Where the hell are you two? I've been trying to reach you for hours!
Leaoni: Oh yeah, we went to a bar, had a good time, then got into a bar fight, so we left and uh…
Varian, mouthing: Escape room.
Leaoni: We went to an escape room.
Alune: Who the fuck goes to an escape room after a bar fi-
Alune:
Alune: You guys are in jail again, aren't you?
Varian, picking a lock in the background: It's a room, and we're trying to escape!

Varian, to Alune: Careful bro you're making this dramatic fight seem kinda homoerotic
Varian: Bro watch out you kinda sound like you're flirting when we argue
Varian: Bro I'm serious you're making our esteemed rivalry look so gay oh my god

Varian: Oh, to be a reckless young protagonist pinning my rival against a wall as we fight while we make tense and homoerotic eye contact.
Alune, pinned against the wall: I hate you so much.

Kallai: Can you tell Frost to stop doing that weird thing with his face?
Sana: You mean crying?

Varian: Some people think life is like a roller coaster, but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you're pinned against the wall and can't do anything about it.

Zatian: God, i'm so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as i walk by.

Sana: Why are you up at 3:30 am?
Alune: I drank 6 cups of coffee.
Sana: Why would you do that?
Alune: Today was done with me but I was not done with today.

Alune: You can't just cut us out of your life!
Frost, holding a pair of scissors: Snip, snip.

Leaoni: Let's make a pact.
Varian: Okay.
Leaoni: If we're both single when we're 40 then we agree to kill each other.
Varian: Done.

Leaoni: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.
Sana: I'm gone.
Leaoni: Now go chop his dick off-

Kels: Oh, to be a reckless young protagonist pinning my rival against a wall as we fight while we make tense and homoerotic eye contact.
Tabitha, pinned against the wall: I hate you so much.

Beck: Some people think life is like a roller coaster, but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you're pinned against the wall and can't do anything about it.

Oleander: Gods, I'm so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as I walk by.

Kate: He doesn't deserve you. If he doesn't treat you right by now, you're gone.
Kristi: I'm gone.
Kate: Now go chop his dick off-

Ibis: Oh, to be a reckless young protagonist pinning my rival against a wall as we fight while we make tense and homoerotic eye contact.
Vio, being pinned against the wall by Ibis: I hate you so much.

Karma: Can you tell Emmett to stop doing that weird thing with his face?
Jack: You mean crying?

Quill: Some people think life is like a roller coaster, but my life is more like one of those rides that spin really fast so you're pinned against the wall and can't do anything about it.

Jack: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I'm falling asleep already.
Jack: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive of all genders, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

(Oh boy new character)
Ellis: God, I'm so tired of people throwing roses at my feet as I walk by.

Ellis: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Ellis: Also, I just got stabbed.
Ellis, glancing at Poli: I don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Tetra: Why are you up at 3:30 am?
Poli: I drank 6 cups of coffee.
Tetra: Why would you do that?
Poli: Today was done with me, but I was not done with today.

Vio: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Tetra: What did Zee and Drinn do now?
Vio: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Vio: A person doesn't dye their hair that color unless they have psychological problems.
Drinn: Hey! My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!

Estella: I’m covered in blood for sexy reasons.
Estella: Also I just got stabbed.
Estella, glancing at Peregrine: Don’t suppose there’s anyone here willing to tenderly clean, stitch and bandage my wounds while calling me an idiot in an exasperatedly fond tone of voice?

Cavendish: Due to personal reasons, I will be insulting the gods in a staggering display of hubris.

Nami: Just ask Zoro out already. The worst he can say is "no".
Sanji: Yes, but that would be devastating.

Sanji: I'm hiding in my room and never coming out.
Nami: What did Luffy and Usopp do now?
Sanji: That's the thing. They've been behaving perfectly all day. I'm scared.

Bartolomeo, to Cavendish: Careful bro you're making this dramatic fight seem kinda homoerotic
Bartolomeo: Bro watch out you kinda sound like you're flirting when we argue
Bartolomeo: Bro I'm serious you're making our esteemed rivalry look so gay oh my god

Nami: Why are you up at 3:30 am?
Zoro: I drank 6 cups of coffee.
Nami: Why would you do that?
Zoro: Today was done with me, but I was not done with today.

Peregrine: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly? I'm falling asleep already.
Estella: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive of all genders, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic!