forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

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Felix: There's many reasons not to die like flowers for instance and back rubs

Felix: I like to return this product
Clerk: Why
Felix: This shampoo tastes nothing like apples, like the product advertised

Crystal: Stop walkiiiiing! White flag, seeeee?! White flag! White flag!! Ah!

Tyler: Aiyah!
Micheal: PLEASE don’t hit me! Or at least not in the balls; I mean they just dropped and they’re very sensitive!! Uh!

Crystal: Uh….. am I Catholic… or Protestant…? God, I don’t know…!
Micheal: Scuse me. Is he ok?
Jaelynn: She always gets like this when she starts drinking-
Crystal: You don’t know me! I’m the Crystal Fucking Celeste and I can hold my liquor better than you any day!

Sophie: Recycling, hey? A good use of natural resources.
Matthew: I’ve done that! One time, I re-ate the cat food!

Tori: Stupid winter. I’m gonna boycott you until you go away.

Elliott: Listen to me, Matthew…! I wanted to let you know something, mister! You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, and I’ve had enough of it!
Matthew: Hm? Hi, Elliot? What's going on?
Elliott: Oh, nothing! It’s uh… a beautiful day today, isn’t it?

Skylar: Look, I’m not a dweeb. I know I’ve got to front it A-style when it’s game time!
Pony: Neigh!
Skylar: Yo ‘sup playa! I got the good deal on 10,000 ponies to add to my arsenal, right? Picture it! They’ll shoot right over our heads!
Sophie: Ah!!
Matthew: Ahh!!

Aaron after befriending Charlie: Sup dudes; I’m Aaron! I came here to teach my new friend a game! For reals, y’all, Charlie and I are homies!

Noelle: Hey guys, check it cool! This is my little sister Scarlet! Isn’t he sheezy?
Blevin: Ugh… hi I’m Blevin. it's a pleasure to meet you.
Noelle: Since we’ve always been raised separately, she had to spend more time with my stepdad, so she’s become kind of a bitch! Right? Now say hi to my friend!
Scarlet: Suck my balls you dumb moon humper.
Blevin: Ah…!

Theo to Matthew: Ya! Don’t play dumb with me; that’s my sister's job

Skylar: This weatherman is predicting a 99% chance of shit storm and it’s coming right at ya!

Lucas: Nnnnnnnn!! My grandma taught me the true spirit of the cocoa bean, and it’s in her honor I now defend, you stupid hoser!
Amberly: Your grandma sounds hot!

Sophie: Nh…. nn?! I can’t read it!
Matthew: It’s not human, remember?
Ava: No worries. I have a translator app.

Mourton: How do you think you're going to get away with this?
Nich: Simple. Like this.
Nich: Finger guns and starts walking away

Jackson: Listen, Charlie, we’re not accusing you-
Geneva: No, I am. I definitely am.

Imogen: Listen, Tabitha, we’re not accusing you-
Kels: No, I am. I definitely am.

Cyrus: Has anyone ever told you they love you?
Quill: Do my parents count?
Cyrus: Yes.
Quill: Then no.
Cyrus: Same.

Cyrus: Must be hard, being incapable of laughter.
Jack: I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Cyrus: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Jack: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Emmett, seductively taking off his glasses: Wow, you’re fucking blurry

Vio, at the grocery store: Can I make an announcement? I’ve lost my siblings.
Clerk: Sure.
Vio, leaning into the mic: Goodbye, you little shits

Cyrus: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal?
Anthony:
Cyrus: That's the noise my brain makes twenty-four seven.

Cyrus: I heard one of my friends is having a breakdown.
Quill, sobbing: Is it Anthony?
Cyrus: No, it’s not-
Quill, crying harder: Is it Dally-
Cyrus: Quill, it’s you.

Anthony: Dally, you’re losing a lot of blood, what’s your type?!
Dally: Dark brown hair, sarcastic but actually really soft on the inside, beautiful eyes-
Anthony, very flustered: Your- your blood type-
Dally: Oh.
Dally: Uh, r-red?

Anthony: I like women how I like my coffee.
Anthony: [Sips tea]

Perry: Has anyone told you that you’re really fucking annoying?
Quill: No?
Perry: Good, 'cause I didn’t want to fight anyone today.

Kay: Must be hard, being incapable of laughter.
Kels: I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Kay: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Kels: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Jackson: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal?
Victor:
Jackson: That's the noise my brain makes twenty-four seven.

Henry: I heard one of my friends is having a breakdown.
Victor, sobbing: Is it Alice?
Henry: No, it’s not-
Victor, crying harder: Is it Tyler-
Henry: Victor, it’s you.

Henry: I like my women how I like my tea.
Henry: Sips coffee

Varian: [being bandaged by Alune]
Varian: [scoffs] come on, is this really necessary?
Alune: You were S T A B B E D.

Leaoni: What did you all get for question 12?
Sana: I got 18.
Kallai: I got 9.5
Frost: I got Abraham Lincoln…for some reason.

Leaoni (to the group): Ok listen up you little shits…
Leaoni: Except you Sana, you're an angel and we're glad to have you here.

Death: Alune, I’m here to take you.
Alune: Okay, let me just ask Varian if it's okay.
Death: I don’t need his…
Varian: No.
Alune: Varian said no.

Leaoni: Does violence have to be the last resort? Can’t it be like third.

Varian, running away from police after breaking the law: Omfg stop. It’s like you’re obsessed with me!

Leaoni: Has anyone ever told you they love you?
Varian: Do my parents count?
Leaoni: Yes.
Varian: Then no.

Frost: Must be hard, being incapable of laughter.
Alune: I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Frost: I’ve never heard you laugh before.
Alune: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

Alune, seductively taking off his glasses: Wow, you’re fucking blurry

Frost: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal?
Kallai:
Frost: That's the noise my brain makes twenty-four seven.

Perry: What did you all get for question 12?
Elias: I got 18.
Quill: I got 9.5
Perry: I got Abraham Lincoln…for some reason? I don't know-

Drinn: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal?
Vio:
Drinn: That's the noise my brain makes twenty-four seven.

Cyrus: I like my men how I like my tea.
Cyrus: Sips coffee

Azazel: Does violence have to be the last resort? Can’t it be, like, the third?

Beck: What did you all get for question 12?
Harper: I got 18.
Marisol: I got 9.5
Casey: I got Abraham Lincoln?

Kels: I like my men how I like my tea.
Kels: Sips coffee

Therese: Does violence have to be the last resort? Can’t it be, like, the third?

Theo: DO NOT LISTEN TO SUCH POISON! GAMES ARE NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT! THIS A PLACE GREAT SERIOUSNESS1 DON'T YOU AGREE, CLASSMATE.
Sophie: You're scaring me ._.
Theo: FEAR IS NOT WELCOME IN A SCHOOL ENVIRONMENT!

Theo: Hey! No bullying
Elijah: You're blood type A, right
Theo: Right..?
Elijah: That one tastes the best
Elijah: That one taste the best

Sophie's diary: Well day 1 in Fairmallow High and the delinquents want me dead. The one-eyed snob has a thing for me. Charlie joined a gang. My brother's sick. My teacher hates me. I joined the drama club and the jocks might be cultists. So far a pretty day

Micheal: They say money can't buy happiness but it can build Obama Land

Micheal: greetings whore
Sophie: [fortnite dances uwu]

Kelly: Ayo Wagwan piffting whats your bbm pin

Kelly to Charlie: Jesus… you actually do as you're told… I'm starting to feel superior or something

Claire: Friends
Sophie: Nah you're scary

Elise: Don't you hate when bitches say "iM a CrAcKhEaD." then you hand them crack and they call the fucking cops

Azazel: Don't you hate when bitches say "I'm such a crackhead" so you hand them crack and they call the fucking cops

Talia: Don't you hate when bitches say "I'm such a crackhead" so you hand them crack and they call the fucking cops?

Marie: What did you all get for question 12?
Richard: I got 18.
Cosette: I got 9.5
Henry: I got Richard the First?

(Fhshdg changed it bc Abraham Lincoln wasn't born yet when these guys were alive)
(Also hnng I accidentally typed "Abraham Kinkoln" and now I hate myself)

Tsuyoi to Insato: If you want boys to respect you, show them you're serious. Shoot someone, blow something up
(A couple of murders later)
Tsuyoi: I take it back

Sophie: Before I burn in hell for all of eternity, who wants to admit they have a crush on me

Claire: I've done nothing wrong. Besides the kidnapping! I'm completely innocent

Sophie after getting the amulet: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years

Axel: Normalize dying under mysterious circumstances

Ava: [during a fight] Think, what would Mom do in this situation?
Marionette: [in Ava's mind] Bye, daughter!
[Beat]
Ava: I'm beginning to think I have issues.

Tsumi: behold! my finger of power!
Sophie: nobody's fingering Sophie but me!
Tsumi: I will pummel you with my just-as-mighty fist of power!
Matthew: nobody's fisting Sophie but me!
Tsumi: and with that, I will blow this place to smithereens!
Matthew: nobody's blowing Sophie but-
Sophie: OH MY GOD MATTHEW SHUT THE FUCK UP

Sophie: Michael… what are you doing?
Michael: I'm sticking my hentai into the microwave
Sophie: Uhm… why…?
Michael: It isn't hot enough… I wanna make it even hotter

Hasuko: It's about to get crunk up in this bitch!"
Colton "Foshizzle, Homedawg!
Charlie, in a birthday hat: (dies of embarrassment)

Michael: Fuck you, I'm going to bed and I'm going to die.

Somebody: You're too old to be making fanfics. You suck dick.
Bonita: I'm sorry, I'm such a terrible person for writing about pre-created characters. And I will not suck dick unless you pay me. Some of us do have standards

Driving with Elliott
Sophie as Elliott breaks as traffic law known in existence: AAAAAAGGGHHH YOU FUCKING GREASE BARR! I'RR RIP YOUR FUCKING GUTS OUT AND SERVE THEM FOR DINNER! AAAAAAAA

Elijah: I guess being bloodthirsty gets a little distracting. (Beat) …And by that I mean protecting my brothers legacy

William: Time to be apart of the family
Annette: I don't want to be a part of the family

Imogen: I've done nothing wrong. Besides the kidnapping! I'm completely innocent

Tabitha: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years

Talia: Time to be apart of the Family!
Vince: I don't want to be a part of the Family.

(i'm gonna drop a scene from a mini story i wrote bc why nOt)

Shin: Guess what, Midori
Midori: What
Shin pulls out a human hand
Midori: What the-
Shin: Guess who I am.
Midori: Idk-
Shin: Want me to tell you?
Midori: Yes, but no.
Shin: Too bad.
long pause
Shin: My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enem-
Midori: YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW-

((Mostly) Quill appreciation post)

Quill, after becoming an avatar: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years.

Dally: Okay, before I go burn in Hell, anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me?

Quill: Normalize dying under mysterious circumstances

Elias: How's your new job going?
Quill: Well, week one in the investigating business and a soul cartel wants me dead. A fallen angel is stalking me. Perry joined a gang. My teacher hates me. And I joined the drama club but I think it might actually be a cult.
Elias:
Quill: So all in all, not as badly as it could be.

Quill: Think, what would Mom do in this situation?
Her mom, in Quill's mind: Bye, kid.
Quill:
Quill: I'm beginning to think I have issues.

Azazel: Next time I'm gonna get you.
Jack: I've already beat you twice.
Azazel: No, the first time was a tie!
Jack: Okay, sure. And the second time?
Azazel: …There were no witnesses the second time.

Cyrus: I'm the most responsible person in this PI agency!
Anthony: You just set our client on fire.
Cyrus: And I take full responsibility for that.

Karma: I like all my fellow Concepts equally!
Karma: Love, Jack, The Sandman…
Karma: Looks at smudged writing on hand
Karma: …and Ernest!
Emmett:

Carter: Okay, before I go burn in hell, anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me?

Kels: Normalize dying under mysterious circumstances.

Alice: How's your new job going?
Victor: Well, week one in the investigating business and a business wants me dead. Someone is stalking me. My teacher hates me. And I took an internship but I think it might actually be a cult.
Alice:
Victor: So all in all, not as badly as it could be.

Jackson: Think, what would Mom do in this situation?
Ms. Taylor, in Jackson's mind: Bye, kid.
Jackson:
Jackson: I'm beginning to think I have issues.

Louis: Next time I'm gonna get you.
Gabriel: I've already beat you twice.
Louis: No, the first time was a tie!
Gabriel: Okay, sure. And the second time?
Louis: …There were no witnesses the second time.

Jackson: I'm the most responsible person in this PI agency!
Geneva: You just set the kitchen on fire.
Jackson: And I take full responsibility for that.

(I Love Her)

(I Love Her Too)

(I'm just gonna drop an appreciation post for my conjoined cannibal boys Freya and Mizu here lmao)

Freya: What are you doing-
Mizu: Taping the toaster onto the ceiling.
Freya: Why?
Mizu: Why not?
Freya: Fair point.

---

Freya: I love you.
Mizu: Oh… I'm sorry-
Freya: Sorry for what?
Mizu: Your bad taste in men.
Freya: Oh-

---

Mizu: Bitches be like "I- I- You- Wow I-"
Mizu: Bitch, what? SPEAK. Spit it the fuck out. What do you wanna say? I'm listening. We're all waiting, and you're doing nothing. This is nonsense, you can't even use words anymore. Go the hell outside for once. Goddamn, get a job or something.

---

Jacquelyn: pulls out a joint
Freya and Mizu: queries?
Jacquelyn: Stop.

---

Mizu: Why are you crying, Freya?
Freya, after being beaten up by Mizu: No reason.

---

Freya: It sucks that we're locked in here.
Mizu, swallowing the key: Yes, what a shame.

Quill: What are you doing?
Azazel: Taping the toaster to the ceiling.
Quill: Why?
Azazel: Why not?
Quill: …Fair point.

Mizu: Arrivederci jumps out the window
Freya, literally being dragged out the window because he and Mizu are conjoined together: WAIT-
—
Mizu: I'm about to commit murder.
Freya: Who are you gonna kill?
Mizu: You.
Freya: But then you'd die too. We've been sewn together, remember?
Mizu: Fuck.
long pause
Mizu: That's fine. I wanted to die anyway, so it's a win-win situation.

(guys we reached 2000 posts on this whoop whoop)

Varian, after being framed for murder: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years.

Frost: Okay, before I go burn in Hell, anyone wanna admit they have a crush on me?

Varian: Normalize dying under mysterious circumstances.

Raiden: How's your new job going?
Varian: Well it's not easy being the leader of a rebellion. I'm not sure it…counts as a job? I'm not even being paid for this shit. But anyway, my family disowned me. I'm wanted dead for several reasons. Oh, I started necromancy as a side hobby…but apparently that's 'bad' and everyone thinks I'm 'building an army of the undead'.
Raiden:
Varian: So, all in all, not as badly as it could be.

Leaoni: I'm the most responsible person here!
Alune: You just set the library on fire.
Leaoni: And I take full responsibility for that.

Frost: I love all my friends equally.
Frost: Alune, Sana, Kallai…
Frost [looks as smudged writing on hand]
Frost:…and Leotard!
Leaoni:
Leaoni: Okay that's it-

Varian: What are you doing-
Leaoni: Taping the toaster onto the ceiling.
Varian: Why?
Leaoni: Why not?
Varian: Fair point

Dragon: Normalize dying under mysterious circumstances.

Vivi: How's your job going?
Nami: Well it's not easy being the navigator of a pirate crew. We have a talking skeleton. I'm wanted dead or alive for several reasons. Oh, I keep increasing the interest on Zoro's loans, but apparently that's 'bad'.
Vivi:
Nami: So, all in all, not as badly as it could be.

Sanji: I love all my friends equally.
Sanji: Azami, Nami, Robin…
Sanji: looks as smudged writing on hand
Sanji:…and Zebra!
Zoro:
Zoro: Okay, that's it-

Usopp: What are you doing-
Azami: Taping the toaster onto the ceiling.
Usopp: Why?
Azami: Why not?
Usopp: Fair point.

Mizu, eating a human hand: This is not how I was expecting to spend my teenage years.
Freya: Shut up and finish your dinner.

---

Mizu: I'm the most responsible person here!
Freya: You just set the orphanage on fire.
Mizu: And I take full responsibility for that.

---

Freya: Mizu, what do you have planned for Valentine's day?
Mizu: Murder.
Freya, sweating: T-That's the spirit… visibly scared