forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :) Part 2!
Started by @Moxie group
tune

people_alt 172 followers

@Becfromthedead group

Okay, so I have a question.
Still trying to figure out gender stuff personally, so please no one take offense to anything (even though it shouldn't be harmful, I just have some genuine questions and I'm trying to see if I can find a label).
So gender-fluid. Does it only cover people who swing between masculine and feminine? Like I know a lot of afab genderfluid peeps on here feel very strongly masculine some days and more feminine on others (and sometimes enby/other identities as well). Or can you be genderfluid if you, let's say, swing between a moderate to small level of femininity to some sort of nb identity, to very slightly masculine (if at all)? Because that's about where I'm at.
We love questioning :(
I've been kind of tracking my identity over the last few weeks, and I don't really think nonbinary is a good label. And I could use genderqueer, as it's a decent catch-all term as well, but it doesn't sit right with me for some reason.
I know labels aren't necessary, but it's always nice to have language to describe what you're experiencing. So I was just very curious about this one. Obviously I don't want to call myself something I'm not.

@ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

I personally think genderfluid could cover that. However, I present-
Genderflux and fluxfluid. Simple explaintions:
Genderfluid: you could be green or blue or pink or other vibrant colors
Genderflux: monochromatic
Fluxfluid the entire color (aka gender) wheel. Any degree, can lean to more washed out of more vibrant, etc

@ElderGodSwimwithGamers group

You're welcome! They're pretty much more specific terms falling under genderfluid, but I enjoy learning about the lesser known identities (as far as I've heard about them at least)
Like, I'm technicality considered fluxfluid, but I'm more comfortable with genderfluid because more people recognize it as existing

@Becfromthedead group

Yeah, I gotcha!
Fluxfluid actually seems to be pretty close to what I'm feeling, but I also personally prefer using more recognized labels that are umbrella terms (like me using bi instead of omni to describe my sexuality).
All very interesting stuff, honestly.
Haven't 100% pinned down a label just yet, of course, but I did find all of this very helpful.

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

Hey Bec, another label I think you might find appealing is bigender
To explain it (probably very poorly oof) it’s when you fluctuate between two gender identities, experiencing them either simultaneously or at different times
Idk if this one would feel any closer since I think you said you’re more fem and enby leaning??

@Becfromthedead group

Yeah lmao no kidding.
Me: I'm a cis woman
Also me: If you call me "ma'am" or "miss," I will kill you on the spot
Also me again: Dressing up as male characters is just a normal thing and does not make me feel any sort of way :')
Also me, once again: Uses my more compressing sports bra and a loose shirt to be like "look mom, no tiddies!"

Deleted user

Honestly, labels are weird. You don’t always need one to know yourself, but they can help.

@Becfromthedead group

^^^
I feel that. I'm still kind of in that stage. I've told one person irl that I'm questioning, but they were supportive and said that no matter what I decide or discover about my identity, they'll support me so I have that going for me.
Idk, I just wonder if I'm hopping onto some sort of "trend"? A lot of my own friends are not cis. And I realize experience shapes gender expression as much as biology, but still, I can't help think I'm being attention-seeking. But ig it's not attention-seeking if I've only told one person?

@ZephirFox8812

My dad just commented on my tic cause I'd did it a lot in the past few minutes and I immediately felt scared because he doesn't know I do it and I didn't know how to explain it

Deleted user

I literally have that struggle of am I really cis and attention seeking?

if y'all are worried you're just doing it for attention, you're probably not. people who are faking it are aware they're faking it because it was a conscious decision to do so. so can things change and might it turn out that you're cis in the end? perhaps, but that doesn't invalidate who you are now and what you're feeling at the moment.

@larcenistarsonist group

Okay but I'm in art rn and there's this really pretty girl that I may or may not like and it's dark and my art teacher has these warm christmas lights all around the room and shes sitting like less than a foot away from me and hahah initiate pansexual panic

@FossilJasper

Hey, I'm not really sure how to talk about this, but I'll just start with a bit of background. I grew up in a very religious and homophobic family so I never really wavered from saying I was a cis white female. When I got into high school though, I got into band and gained a lot of friends from this community and I became a very proud ally for them much to the dismay of my parents. For a few years now though, I've been wondering if I'm asexual? (just asexual, not aromantic) It's confusing, because I like people romantically but never really for looks or because I want to have sex with them. Like, just thinking about it disgusts me and I don't want to do that. I've never had it before, but that's kind of just how I feel. Then with stuff like kissing, I'm okay with kisses but not with making out (if that makes sense). I'm just trying to figure out if I'm just not experienced (I guess) enough to say that I don't like it or if I'm actually asexual. And then there's the problem of talking to my parents about it since they seem pretty hell bent on getting a bloodline grandchild from me. I don't have any friends who are ace, so I was wondering if you guys could help me understand a bit. If not, that's okay I'm just a little confused.

@Katastrophic group

I identify as Asexual, possibly a little aromantic as I'm not into kissing either. Being asexual doesn't mean you have to like or dislike sex (though it's totally valid to be either epulsed or into it, or even just disinterested), its about attraction. For example, I've never had a celebrity crush and the idea people genuinley want to have sex with strangers cause they're 'hot' is very absurd to me. So for me at least, I'm not attracted to boys or girls or anything other or inbetween and that makes me ace.

If you feel like tha, then you might be ace too!

@Cloudy_is_trying_her_best

Okay first things first, experience doesn't matter. I've never kicked a cactus barefoot before, but thinking about it feels Bad and I know that I don't want to do it. That's kind of a thing that's commonly used to invalidate asexuals, so don't do it to yourself. As far as what you actually are, your labels are yours to choose. If you feel like asexual fits you, then use it! If you feel like there's a better term out there, keep looking. Asexuality is a spectrum, and there are tons of different identities on said spectrum. I might be jumping to conclusions, but in my opinion(which you should take with a grain of salt because you know yourself much better than some random person on the internet) it sounds like you may be ace. If you feel like that term suits you best, then welcome to the squad! 💜