(Oh geez–)
(Like, scale of one to ten, how much less bad would it be if Astral like, broke and confessed everything while sobbing, because he's really moving towards that lol)
"Yeah I can!" Astral grinned, looking over at Simon as he began his work.
"Chocolate or caramel, hm?"
((Mmmm Simon would be overwhelmed for sure but he’d definitely be more open to seeing that Astral is telling the truth about regretting what he did.))
“Hmm…caramel!” He said, leaning forward a bit on the counter so he could watch the god as he worked. “I guess when you’re immortal you have plenty of time to master these things but it’s still so cool that you just know how to do this!”
(Mm… cause honestly, I feel like they aren't getting out of this day without Astral just breaking down while hugging Simon and apologizing over and over o.oand no, I'm totally not crying thinking about it—)
"Caramel it is then!" Astral started working, plastering a grin on. No, no, don't think about that right now, Simon is so happy, don't do it-
"Well, I'm glad you think so! I do have quite a lot of time on my hands in the long run, and it's fun."
((Oof o-o don’t worry I cry over this rp ummm too much))
“It seems fun.” He commented, a soft smile on his face as he watched Astral. After a few minutes he rested his head on the counter, still watching the other. “Does it ever get lonely?” He asked, his smile fading a bit. “Knowing that you’re gonna live forever?”
((either way Simon’s gonna be crying his eyes out at a graveyard tomorrow, it’s just a matter of whether or not he’s on speaking terms with Astral :’) ))
(I feel like a lot of people do lol, it's a very sad thing)
Astral paused a moment as he baked, then nodded his head.
"Sometimes, yes," the god said. His voice was more subdued now, less chipper. Simon wouldn't know this was because of the child, of course, because Astral had a feeling they would be able to live forever as well.
"But I'm glad I'm able to spend this time with you."
(Oh yeah- but then Astral will actually have something holding him back from going to comfort Simon ;-;)
((Yeahhhh f for the boiz))
“Yeah me too….” he replied, of course not going to be able to know the true reason behind Astral’s sadness. A thought popped up to the front of his mind, something he’d just kind of pushed off in his mind. “H-Hey Astral? What’s going to happen to me? Like over time I mean..”
((yepppppp :’) ))
Astral paused fully for a moment, turning to Simon.
"Well… in the end, it will be your choice, really." Astral slipped the cupcakes into the oven, going to sit with Simon.
"I don't think i-it would be safe for you to go back to Earth… but you'd probably end up living for quite a long time here. Then… well, there are different things you could chose w-when it's time to… you know…"
“So I am going to still die then?” He didn’t know what this information really meant to him. It wasn’t like he’d ever wanted to live that long anyway but the thought of leaving Astral behind just….bothered him. “Hm..”
"Yes. One day, you will die. It'll be less permanent than you might think, though…" Astral offered a weak smile.
"You'd have different options. Rebirth, getting a new body, perhaps even just remaining as a soul…"
He smiled back at the other. “Well good thing I don’t have to think about it for a long time then, hm?” He said, trying to cheer Astral up. He himself wasn’t even sure, as of right now, what he’d choose for himself after he died.
Astral nodded some. Still, he held tears back. He doubted Simon would choose to stay with him, in the end. Not after all of this.
"Yeah, a long time…"
His brow furrowed slightly, concerned by the way Astral was acting. He silently wrapped his arms around the other man, hugging him tightly.
((also I randomly remembered that they still have Simon’s ex boyfriend locked up in Astral’s workshop lmao))
Astral wrapped his arms Simon in turn, biting his lip. No, no, don't, d-don't cry… Astral couldn't help it as the tears fell, and he held Simon so close to himself.
"I-I'm so s-sorry…" The god whispered silently into Simon's hair.
(oop, I forgot too lol-)
“Astral? Is something wrong?” He asked. He hadn’t heard what the god had said but he could just tell that something was off with Astral. It worried him, but of course he had no idea that it had anything to do with him.
((lmao he’s just in there not vibing whatsoever))
"'M, 'm so s-sorry, Si-imon…" Astral held Simon close to himself, trembling some. "I-I fucked up, I f-fucked up S-simon…" Astral was slowly descending into sobs, holding the human close.
(Oh he's probably still in extreme pain lol)
((I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY READY AHHHHHHHH))
“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He said soothingly, sitting up, taking the god’s face in both his hands, gently rubbing his thumb across his cheeks. “What’s wrong? What are you talking about?”
((good, we don’t stan him in this household))
(NEITHER AM I AHHHH)
"N-No, no, i– it's not, S-Simon…" Astral kept sobbing pulling away from Simon's hands some. "I-I, I hurt y-you, I hurt you S-imon..T-They we-eren't d-dreams…" Astral couldn't stop the sobs racking his body, almost falling to his knees.
(he's the asshole who doesn't get a redemption arc lol)
((AHHHH I’M CRYING))
“A-Astral? I don’t understand, what are you talking about?” He had an idea but….that couldn’t have really been Astral right? T-there was no way. He’d been so kind and, and….Simon had just believed all of it.
((no redemption arc for angry drunk southern redneck man))
(ME TOO HOLY COW–)
Astral dissolved into a string of apologies, head down low.
"W-when you came… c-came here… I-I'm s-so sorry, I-I-"
(Did you mean- men in Indiana?)
((ALSO I’M AROUND MY FAMILY AND THEY’RE PLAYING UPBEAT ITALIAN MUSIC LMAO HELP-))
He let go of Astral, his hands falling to his side. “A-Astral..” he said, trying not to cry. He tried to find the words, his mouth opening and closing silently.
((I mean….yeah))
(AAAAA PANICK–)
"I-I'm s-sorry, I'm so-o sorry…" Astral did fall to his knees now, his head still so low. He didn't expect Simon to forgive him, not ever, but he couldn't help but say the words.
(laughs in living there)
“Y-you said-“ he stopped mid sentence, having to hold in either a scream or a sob. “You s-said there was always another way..” he whispered, referencing their conversation from after Simon’s night terror. “W-why…” ’Why would you lie to me like that’. That had truthfully been the only way he’d kept himself together all these years, is by convincing himself that it was all his fault. So for Astral to counter that logic, and then hurt him as well…that would shatter him.
((big oof dude, I live in Texas so like same thing lol))
"I-I k-know… I-I know, a-and it's still true, S-simon…" Astral was still trying not to break down so much he couldn't talk. He… he had to explain himself, to make sure Simon didn't try to blame it on himself.
I-I– I'm a h-horrible person, S-Simon. Don't– don't w-waste your time o-on me anymore, p-please…" He still hadn't told Simon about… about the child.
(Oh no… hey I have step cousins who live down there, they don't like my part of the family ;w;)
(curse you two for making me feel things)
(Oh just wait, it's not even at it's worst yet ;w;)
(ahdggsdgsgd)
He shook his head, wrapping his arms around himself. He’d heard this whole routine a million times before. It was all lies. He…he didn’t know what to believe.
((Oop that’s an f))
((Yeah it’s gonna get a lot worse ;w;))
"I-I… S-Simon, t-there's something e-else…" Astral shook some, hands falling limply to his sides on the floor.
Simon shook his head again, pulling his knees up to his chest. He didn’t want to know. Whatever it was…he didn’t want to know.
"N-no, Si-imon, i-it's… y-you need to know…" Astral shook some, glancing up for a moment.