forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL
tune

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@Fairlyodd

Kallai: I have no fear.
Kallai: [realises Varian has been too quiet lately]
Kallai: I have one fear

Sana, to Leaoni: Do you always run headlong into certain death?
Alune: Sometimes she walks. Occasionally shuffles. Once, I’m pretty sure I saw her amble into certain death.

Kallai: What are you even doing, Varian?
Varian, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Kallai: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy..

Cellphone: Rings
Alune, answering: I’m busy.
Varian: Do you think drinking thirty-six cans of Red Bull consecutively would make my senses more heightened or would I just die?
Alune:
Alune: I'm on my way.

Leaoni: Can the sarcasm, Alune.
Alune: Please. I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Leaoni: You have illegal contacts?
Zatian: You don’t?

Alune, during one of his lectures: And remember, if I get harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.

Frost: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Leaoni: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Frost: Right.
Leaoni: Right.

Zatian: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Marcello, talking about Varian: My kid is going places.
Marcello: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Varian: We have a crisis!
Alune: It’s a good day when we only have one crisis.

Alune: Call me cynical, but is it entirely without the bounds of possibility that you have an ulterior motive?
Frost: Alune, I hope you know me better than that. At any given moment I never have fewer than seven ulterior motives in play.

Kallai: What’s going on?
Leaoni: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Kallai: The short one.
Leaoni: Shit’s fucked.

Varian: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Leaoni: I would, but then I’d be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Frost: This forest is old. Very old.
Kallai: Frost, I know you think you’re helping, but be quiet.
Frost: I don’t think I’m helping.

Sana: I love you guys, but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

Varian: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Kallai: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Alune, to Varian: You know, when you agree with me, it makes me question whether I actually agree with me.

Sana: This plan of Varian's, one assumes it is entirely legal?
Leaoni: Of course.
Frost: Entirely.
Sana: Right. Wasn’t here. Didn’t know about it. Couldn’t have stopped you.

Varian: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating
Varian: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Zatian: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Frost: I never understood angry ghosts. They’re already dead, what’s there to be angry about?
Leaoni: That they’re dead, Frost.

Alune: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Varian, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Leaoni: Sure, when Aphrodite lies around naked in a giant clam shell she’s a ‘goddess’, but when I do it I’m ‘drunk’ and 'no longer welcome at the aquarium’.

Frost: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Sana:
Sana: Those are Cheerios.

@threesacult group

Anthony: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Anthony: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Dally: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Anthony: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Perry: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Jack: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster group

Sophie: Can you drive
Elliott: Can I drive?
Elliott accidentally drive in a river while toyko drift plays in the background

Valerie: Lemme get this straight, you basically gone crazy and are now seeing ghosts
Sophie: Yep
Valerie: And It's the vice president
Sophie: Yep
Valerie: And she even uptight than usual
Sophie: Yep that's pretty much it
Valerie: ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID
Sophie: Probably but that has nothing to do with that

Kelly: The only B word I call my sister is beautiful
Kelly: Right bitch
Emma: Kelly! Stop that! Come on

Elijah: When I was born, God said "finally, I made perfection"
Sophie: No, I think when you were born, Satan was like "Lookie, a competitor."

Bonita: Are you Reiji
Annoyed Alvis storms off
Bonita: What are you do-
Alvis grabs a knife
Bonita: BITCH

Matthew holding skipper and making him pick up cat food: You're helping. You did it, you're helping. You're going pick this up one little curl at a time and you're going to like it. Because I'm fed up with your bullshit.

Lucas: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Lucas: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Sophie: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Ava: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Elijah: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Duke: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Lyra: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Trix: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Talia: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Lyra: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Eliot: You stole something from me when we talked yesterday.
Tabitha: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.
Eliot: You stole my hear- wait, what?

Jackson: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Geneva: 88. You can call me the queen of insomnia.
Victor: It's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Henry: You guys are fucking terrifying.

@Williamnot group

Felix: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Austin: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Felix: I just want to do cool teenager stuff, like going to parties and arson.

Felix: Haters will see you kill one person and call you a murderer

Felix: You stole something from me when we talked yesterday.
Some girl: Sorry, I'll return your wallet.
Felix: You stole my hear- sorry, what?

Felix: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Jarrod: 88. You can call me the queen of insomnia.
Austin: It's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Mel: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Austin: Can you drive
Felix, chuckling: Can I drive?
Felix, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS PREPARE TO BE IGNORED
Austin: I've made an incalculably large error

Austin: The only B word I call Mel is beautiful
Austin: Right bitch?
Mel: Really Austin

Felix: When I was born, God said "finally, I made perfection"
Jarrod: No, I think when you were born, Satan was like "Lookie, a competitor."

Felix: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Felix: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

@Fairlyodd

Alune: You can’t solve every problem with a STUPID SONG!
Varian: I can, I have, and I will!

Frost: High five!
Frost: [slaps Varian in the face]
Frost: Sorry, I missed it.

Sana: What's the hardest thing for you to say?
Alune: I was wrong.
Varian: I need help.
Leaoni: Worcestershire sauce.

Kallai: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Sana: It’s…blank?
Kallai: Yes. That’s the point.

Varian: Miran, go play with Leaoni.
Miran: Okay! [Leaves]
Frost: That kid’s gotten so big. What is he, four?
Varian:
Varian: I don’t know what he’s for.

Zatian: My therapist told me I have problems with seeking revenge.
Zatian: We’ll see about that.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Law: You can’t solve every problem with a STUPID SONG!
Brook: I can, I have, and I will!

Sanji: High five!
Sanji: slaps Zoro in the face
Sanji: Sorry, I missed it.

Robin: What's the hardest thing for you to say?
Usopp: I was wrong.
Nami: I need help.
Luffy: Worcestershire sauce.

Law: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Jax: It’s…blank?
Law: Yes. That’s the point.

Shanks: Peregrine, go play with Azami.
Peregrine: Okay! leaves
Beckman: That kid’s gotten so big. What is she, four?
Shanks:
Shanks: I don’t know what he’s for.

Nami: My therapist told me I have problems with seeking revenge.
Nami: We’ll see about that.

@sock group

Chan: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
Lucas: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Ren: Can you drive
Chan, chuckling: Can I drive?
Chan, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS PREPARE TO BE IGNORED
Ren: I've made an incalculably large error

Lucas: I literally cannot decide who the fuck I am sometimes. It’s frustrating.
Lucas: Like, am I an asshole? Do I really care a lot? I don’t fucking know!

Elyas: Look! There's a message in my alphabet soup! It says, "OOOOOOOOOOO"!!
Lucas:
Lucas: Those are Cheerios.

Ren: What’s going on?
Chan: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Ren: The short one.
Chan: Shit’s fucked.

Ren, talking about Chan: My kid is going places.
Ren: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Aunty Li: There is a strict no-animals policy at this restaurant.
Zephyr: Okay.
Aunty Li: Except for Lucas' cat.
Chan: And Lucas' high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Ren: I know you and I don’t have the best relationship…
Jay: You mean I hate you and you hate me?
Ren: Right.
Jay: Right.

Himari: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you.
Elyas: It’s…blank?
Himari: Yes. That’s the point.

Chan: I'll have the usual
Bartender: Kool-Aid with whipped cream?
Chan: [glaring]
Chan: With EXTRA whipped cream

Zephyr: Hey Lucas, does Bunny* smoke?
Lucas: What?? No!
Zephyr: Well in that case your kitchen is on fire
*[Lucas' cat]

Elyas: Hey, what are you looking at?
Lucas: [taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is] Porn

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Victor: Can you drive?
Jackson, laughing: Can I drive?
Jackson, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS, PREPARE TO BE IGNORED!
Victor: I've made an incalculably large error

Henry: What’s going on?
Victor: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Henry: The short one.
Geneva: Shit’s fucked.

Alec, talking about Louis: That kid is going places.
Alec: It might be to prison, but he’s going places.

Jackson: Hey, what are you looking at?
Geneva, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip she is: Porn

@threesacult group

Anthony: I haven't slept in 73 hours.
Quill: 88. You can call me the queen of insomnia.
Jack: It's been 90 for me. I'm going for an even 100.
Dally: You guys are fucking terrifying.

Quill: Can you drive?
Cyrus, laughing: Can I drive?
Cyrus, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS, PREPARE TO BE IGNORED!
Quill: I've made an incalculably large error

Dally: What’s going on?
Anthony: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Dally: The short one.
Cyrus: Shit’s fucked.

Cyrus, talking about Perry: That kid is going places.
Cyrus: It might be to prison, but they’re going places.

Cyrus: Hey, what are you looking at?
Dally, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is: Porn.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Beck: Can you drive?
Harper, laughing: Can I drive?
Harper, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS, PREPARE TO BE IGNORED!
Beck: ….so this was a mistake-

Claudio: Hey, what are you looking at?
Frankie, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is: Porn.

Deleted user

Azrael: Can you drive?
Allison, laughing: Can I drive?
Allison, 5 minutes later: ROAD SAFETY LAWS, PREPARE TO BE IGNORED!
Azrael: ….so this was a mistake-

(Literally canon lol)

Allison: Hey, what are you looking at?
Vozreal, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is: Porn.

@NotSoBeautifulDiseaster group

Charlie: All right, I'm going to an important meeting, Whatever you do, don't come inside and embarrass me
Sophie: Ok, Whatever I do, come inside and embarrass you
Charlie: WAIT THAT'S THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I JUST SA-
Sophie: AY AY AY FUCKFACES! WHICH ONE OF YOU COCKSUCKERS BEEN SHIT TALKING MY BOY CHARLIE!
Charlie, internally: Oh for fuck sake…

Ava: What’s going on?
Sophie: Do you want the long version or the short version?
Ava: The short one.
Sophie: Shit’s fucked.

Tori: What are you even doing, Thomas?
Elijah, sarcastically: Worshiping Satan, obviously.
Tori: Seems a bit conceited to worship yourself, but whatever makes you happy.

Charlie:(exist)
Aaron: I hate this mf more than 👏 Satan 👏 him 👏fucking 👏 self

Sophie: Green
Jane: (groans)
Sophie: Green
Jane: Oh come on! >:(
Sophie: Green
Jane: I CaLL FucKiNG hAcKS
Jax: Emiko, No swearing
Jane: I L L B E S A L T Y
Sophie: Hahaha
Jane: Shut up you hipster
Sophie: That is what you get
Jane: (Demonic screeching)

Elijah: Release the dragon
Aaron: Eli, We don't have a dragon
Elijah, whispering: Shut the fuck up, they don't know that

Sophie to Elijah: Not if Charlie has something to say it
Charlie: Ugh… Something
Sophie: R-R-Rekt
Charlie: Really, Sophie
Colton: Is that all you got
Sophie: You didn't like my pun
Charlie: It wasn't a pun and it sucked, you suck Sophie

Elijah: Yo guys, check out Charlie's friend, I have seen such a stereotypical yandere in ages, Always a knife in hand
Matthew: He's mocking me
Matthew: Pulls out knife
Sophie: Didn't you give your knife to me?
Matthew: It's adorable for you to assume that was my only one

Aaron to Charlie: You roll your shorts? Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Darrell: Aaron, we're seniors not 3rd graders
Aaron: aaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy
Darrell: Behave yourself

Elijah: You’re really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?
Lucas: As the defending champion, are you nervous?

William: Could you please sit up straight?
Dawn: I'll sit as bily I want.

Skylar: You can't expose me, I overshare my entire life.

@Fairlyodd

Miran: How are babies made?
Alune, panicking: Varian, tell Miran about the birds and the bees.
Varian: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Sana: What's the first thing you notice when somebody approaches you?
Leaoni: The audacity.

Sana: How can you hate Varian? He's basically an angel who fell from heaven!
Kallai: So was Lucifer.

Leaoni: I don't know what to do.
Sana: I think you know what to do.
Leaoni: Thanks, Sana. [Leaves]
Sana: I have no idea what she's going to do, but that's the safest way to give Leaoni advice.
Frost: Yup.

Varian: What up, I'm back.
Leaoni: What? You died. You were dead. I saw you die.
Varian: Death is a social contruct.

Zatian: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Varian: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Frost: Have a good day, Leaoni!
Leaoni: Don't tell me what to do.

Madam Margo: The twins birthday is going to be perfect, but it would help if we all looked like a loving, supportive family.
Marcello: For how long?
Varian: Ten minutes tops.
Marcello: See if you can get it down to 5.

Frost: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Leaoni: For the better?
Frost:
Leaoni: Answer me.

Frost: Yeeted.
Varian: Yote.
Frost: YEETED.
Varian : Leaoni, tell him it’s YOTE.
Leaoni : I just want to know who threw Alune out of the third story window.

Leaoni: God gave me PTSD because he knew I’d beat his ass if I didn’t have a weakness
The entire circle of group therapy kids:

Kallai: Hey, Alune-
Alune: Think twice before you talk to me this early in the morning.
Kallai: It's 2 in the afternooon.
Alune: Think twice, Kallai.

Varian: Listen, kid-
Miran: You can call me Miran!
Varian: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.

Alune: I once dropped Miran’s teddybear and he yelled ‘there’s been a murder’.
Varian: Did the paramedics arrive in time?
Frost: He said there was a murder, you idiot.
Leaoni: He also said it was a teddybear.

Sana: How can three adult men not have a $800 between them?
Varian: That…
Frost: They’re…
Kallai: The economy is in shambles.

Kallai: Got caught giving a fuck.
Kallai: Embarrassing.

Varian, after getting ready for several hours: How do I look?
Alune: With your eyes.
Varian:
Varian: Are you doing this on purpose or-

Frost: Did you just refer to your sword as a people opener?
Kallai: Should I not have?

Varian: Hey, I lost my fucking flute, have you seen it?
Kallai: Watch your language, there’s kids around.
Varian: Oh. Sorry.
Varian: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking flute?

Frost: I sure showed those guys huh?
Frost: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

@threesacult group

Dally: You can't expose me, I already overshare my entire life.

Quill: I sure showed those guys, huh?
Quill: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

Emmett: Got caught giving a fuck.
Emmett: Embarrassing.

Dally: How do I look?
Anthony: With your eyes.
Dally:
Dally: Do you do this on purpose, or-

Jack: Listen, kid-
Quill: You can call me Quill.
Jack: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Kristi: You can't expose me, I already overshare my entire life.

Iam: I sure showed those guys, huh?
Iam: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

Geneva: Got caught giving a fuck.
Geneva: Embarrassing.

Padma: How do I look?
Barry: With your eyes.
Frankie:
Frankie: Do you do this on purpose, or-

Carrie: Listen, kid-
Lysander: You can call me Lysander!
Carrie: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Oleander: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Titania: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Max: I once dropped Timmy's teddy bear and he yelled ‘there’s been a murder’.
Henry: Did the paramedics arrive in time?
Jackson: He said there was a murder, Henry.
Geneva: He also said it was a teddy bear.

Mr. Flynn: How can three adult men not have a $800 between them?
Jackson: Well, uh…
Henry: They’re…
Victor: The economy is in shambles.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Peregrine: How are babies made?
Shanks, panicking: Mihawk, tell Peregrine about the birds and the bees.
Mihawk: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Estella: What's the first thing you notice when somebody approaches you?
Peregrine: The audacity.

Luffy: I don't know what to do.
Nami: I think you know what to do.
Luffy: Thanks, Nami. leaves
Nami: I have no idea what he's going to do, but that's the safest way to give Luffy advice.
Law: Good to know.

Sabo: What up, I'm back.
Luffy: What? You died. You were dead. I saw you die.
Sabo: Death is a social construct.

Bartolomeo: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Cavendish: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Luffy: Have a good day, Torao!
Law: Don't tell me what to do.

Vermilion: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Coby: For the better?
Vermilion:
Coby: Answer me.

Luffy: Yeeted.
Azami: Yote.
Luffy: YEETED.
Azami : Nami, tell him it’s YOTE.
Nami : I just want to know who threw Zoro out of the crow's nest.

Luffy: Hey, Nami-
Nami: Think twice before you talk to me this early in the morning.
Luffy: It's 2 in the afternoon.
Nami: Think twice, Luffy.

Mihawk: I once dropped Peregrine's teddy bear and she yelled ‘there’s been a murder’.
Shanks: Did the paramedics arrive in time?
Beckman: He said there was a murder, you idiot.
Yasopp: He also said it was a teddy bear.

Law: How can three adult men not have a $800 between them?
Luffy: That…
Zoro: They’re…
Sanji: The economy is in shambles.

Law: Got caught giving a fuck.
Law: Embarrassing.

Nami, after getting ready for several hours: How do I look?
Robin: With your eyes.
Nami:
Nami: Are you doing this on purpose or-

Sanji: Did you just refer to your swords as people openers?
Zoro: Should I not have?

Jax: I sure showed those guys, huh?
Jax: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

@threesacult group

Jack: How can three adults not have a $800 between them?
Dally: Well, uh…
Cyrus: They’re…
Anthony: The economy is in shambles.

Jack: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Cyrus: For the better?
Jack:
Cyrus: Answer me.

Tracey: Hey, Suanne-
Suanne: Think twice before you talk to me this early in the morning.
Tracey: It's 2 in the afternoon.
Suanne: Think twice, Tracey.

Cyrus: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Jack: I'm an eleven, but continue.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Marcus: How can three adult men not have a $800 between them?
Jon: Well, uh…
Darius: They’re…
Oliver: The economy is in shambles.

Tabitha: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Eliot: For the better?
Tabitha:
Eliot: Answer me.

Jackson: Hey, Geneva-
Geneva: Think twice before you talk to me this early in the morning.
Jackson: It's 2 in the afternoon.
Geneva: Think twice.

@threesacult group

Anthony: I want to talk to you about something last night that really upset me.
Dally: Okay, but in my defense, Cyrus bet me five bucks I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Anthony: That’s not what I wanted to- wait, you drank shampoo?

Tracey: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Suanne?
Suanne: …No.
Doyle: I do!
Tracey: I know, Doyle.
Doyle: I’m sad!
Tracey: I know, Doyle.

Karma: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Love: For the better?
Karma:
Love: Answer me.

Emmett: Jack and I do not use pet names.
Cyrus: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Emmett: Honey?
Jack, from across the room: Yes, dear?
Emmett:
Cyrus: Don't ever lie to my face again.

Quill: Cy, you've got to help me. I told Perry I'd cook dinner, but I can't cook!
Cyrus, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

@Fairlyodd

Kallai: Frost, you've got to help me. I told Sana I'd cook dinner, but I can't cook.
Frost, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Leaoni: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Kallai?
Kallai: No.
Frost: I do!
Leaoni: I know, Frost.
Frost: I’m sad!
Leaoni: I know, Frost.

Varian: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.
Everyone else: That’s a lie, but we still love you.

Frost: Good morning.
Frost: But at what cost?

Alune: What time is it?
Varian: I don’t know, but I can find out.
Varian: [starts playing the flute very loudly]
Leaoni: WHO’S PLAYING A FUCKING FLUTE AT 3AM?
Varian: It’s 3am.

Alune: I hate you with every inch of my body.
Zatian: That’s not a lot of inches.

Zatian: I will destroy your happiness.
Varian: [looks around]
Varian: [points at himself] My happiness?
Varian: You think I’m happy?

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Therese: Nich, you've got to help me. I told Nell I'd cook dinner, but I can't cook.
Nich, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Cordelia: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Gabriel?
Gabriel: No.
Arthur: I do.
Cordelia: I know, Nest.
Arthur: I’m scared.
Cordelia: I know, Nest.

Marcus: Good morning.
Oliver: But at what cost?

Addie: What time is it?
Kay: I don’t know, but I can find out.
Kay: Starts playing the flute very loudly
Kels: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE FLUTE AT 3-FUCKING-A-M?
Kay: It’s 3 am.

The Director: I will destroy your happiness.
Tabitha, bursting out laughing: My happiness? You think I’m happy?

@threesacult group

The Sandman: I will destroy your happiness.
Anthony, bursting out laughing: My happiness? You think I’m happy?

Quill: What time is it?
Cyrus: I don’t know, but I can find out.
Cyrus: Starts playing a recorder very loudly
Anthony: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 3-FUCKING-A-M?
Cyrus: It’s 3 am.

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Ms. Dollon: I want to talk to you about something last night that really upset me.
Kay: Okay, but in my defense, Katya bet me five bucks I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Ms. Dollon: That’s not what I wanted to- wait, you drank shampoo?

Gabriel: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Cordelia: For the better?
Gabriel:
Cordelia: Answer me.

Oscar: Nathaniel and I do not use pet names.
Marian: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Oscar: Honey?
Nathaniel, from across the room: Yes, dear?
Oscar:
Marian: Don't ever lie to my face again.

@Williamnot group

Jarrod: You can’t solve every problem with LIQUOR
Felix: I can, I have, and I WILL

Felix: High five!
Felix: [slaps Austin in the face]
Felix: Sorry, I missed.
Austin: Ready to die old man?

Mel: What's the hardest thing for you to say?
Jarrod: I was wrong.
Austin: I need help.
Felix: Worcestershire sauce.

Austin: Here’s a list of everything that’s wrong with you guys.
Mel: It’s…blank?
Em: Yeah, mine is too
Austin: Yes. That’s the point.

Felix: Em, go play with the other kids.
Em: Okay! [Leaves]
Some parent: That kid’s gotten so big. What is she, four?
Felix:
Felix: I don’t know what she’s for.

Austin: My therapist told me I have problems with seeking revenge.
Austin: We’ll see about that.

Jarrod, talking about Felix: He's going places.
Jarrod: Probably prison, but he’s going places.

Jarrod: Hey, what are you looking at?
Austin, taking a quiz about what kind of off-brand potato chip he is: Porn

Em: How are babies made?
Mel, panicking: Austin, tell Em about the birds and the bees.
Austin: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

Mel: What's the first thing you notice when somebody approaches you?
Austin: The audacity.

Mel: How can you hate Austin? He's basically an angel who fell from heaven!
The population of Consequences, WA: So was Lucifer.

Felix: I don't know what to do.
Austin: I think you know what to do.
Felix: You're right. [Leaves]
Jarrod: What horror did you just unleash upon the world

Felix: What up, I'm back.
Austin: What? You died. You were dead. I saw you die.
Felix: Death is a social construct.

Felix: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Jarrod: I'm an eleven, but continue.

Jarrod: Have a good day, Austin!
Austin: Don't tell me what to do.

Austin: Em's birthday is going to be perfect, but it would help if we all looked like a loving, supportive family.
Jarrod: For how long?
Mel: Ten minutes tops.
Felix: See if you can get it down to 5.

Felix: It would be nice to change the world, you know?
Jarrod: For the better?
Felix:
Jarrod: Answer me.

Austin: God gave me PTSD because he knew I’d beat his ass if I didn’t have a weakness
The entire circle of group therapy kids:

Felix: Hey, Aus-
Austin: Think twice before you talk to me this early in the morning.
Jarrod: It's 2 in the afternooon.
Austin: Think twice, Jarrod.

Felix: Listen, kid-
Em: You can call me Em!
Felix: I’d rather not. If I named you, I could get attached.

Jarrod: I once dropped Em’s teddybear and he yelled ‘there’s been a murder’.
Austin: Did the paramedics arrive in time?
Felix: He said there was a murder, you idiot.
Jarrod: He also said it was a teddybear.

Austin: How can two professional criminals not have a $800 between them?
Jarrod: That…
Felix: The economy is in shambles.

Felix: Got caught giving a fuck.
Felix: Embarrassing.

Felix, after getting ready for several hours: How do I look?
Jarrod: With your eyes.
Felix:

Jarrod: Did you just refer to your gun as a people opener?
Felix: Should I not have?

Felix: Hey, I lost my fucking flute, have you seen it?
Jarrod: Watch your language, there’s kids around.
Felix: Oh. Sorry.
Felix: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking flute?

Mel: I sure showed those guys huh?
Mel: Did you see how uncomfortable they got when I started crying?

@threesacult group

Cyrus: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. I've never robbed a bank.
Anthony: Can we go back to that third one real quick?

Suanne: Got caught giving a fuck.
Suanne: Embarrassing.

Tracey: God, give me patience.
Cyrus: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Tracey: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Dally: Shit.
Anthony: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Cyrus: Oh my god Quill fell off

Quill: Have you seen Jack around here?
Suanne: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Quill: It…looks fine to me?
Suanne: It used to be water!

Quill: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Cyrus: Not if they consent to it.
Dally: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Jack: Nah.
Anthony: Yes????

Perry: What's your favorite horror movie?
Quill: High School Musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

@evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

Kay: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of a restaurant and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived off-planet so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. I've never robbed a bank.
Addie: Can we go back to that third one real quick?

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Geneva: Shit.
Jackson: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Henry: Oh my God Victor fell off-

Jon: Have you seen Oliver around here?
Darius: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.
Jon: It…looks fine to me?
Darius: It used to be water!

Ms. Dollon: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Kay: Not if they consent to it.
Tabitha: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Kels: Nah.
Eliot: Yes?

Casey: What's your favorite horror movie?
Beck: High School Musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Deleted user

Vozreal: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of a restaurant and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived off-planet so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground. I've never robbed a bank.
Azrael: Can we go back to that third one real quick?

Azrael: What's your favorite horror movie?
Allison: High School Musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Azrael: Got caught giving a fuck.
Azrael: Embarrassing.

Azrael: God, give me patience.
Vozreal: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Azrael: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Rachel: God gave me PTSD because he knew I’d beat his ass if I didn’t have a weakness
The entire circle of group therapy:

Allison: How can you hate Vozreal? He's basically an angel who fell from heaven!
The population of Paradox Vortex, Montana: So was Lucifer.

Azrael: What up, I'm back.
Everyone: What? You died. You were dead. I saw you die.
Azrael: Death is a social construct.

Vozreal: Can we talk, one ten to another?
Allison: I'm an eleven, but continue.