Cyrus gave a quick nod.
"Let's go lie down, and we can ask him to check on it," Cyrus agreed.
Once the worst of it passed, Cyrus pushed up to his feet with Marcus' help, careful to not tear his stitches again, or bring the pain back. He leaned up against his crutches and hobbled back to the bedroom.
Pollux was on the floor in one corner back by the bed, gathering up his laptop and a couple of other things before he went in the living room to sleep.
"You two going to bed?" he asked.
"Yeah," Cyrus replied.
He was going to ask for help, but he just couldn't. It was so. Fucking. Humiliating.
Without saying anything else, Cyrus sat on the edge of the bed.
Marcus stayed close by the other despite the dizziness that threatened to overcome him. He bit his lip to keep his focus on the other, sighing in relief when they made it to the bedroom without incident.
He waited for Cyrus to say something, but the silence that filled the air told him the other was having a hard time. So Marcus leaned over and gave Cyrus a soft kiss on the cheek.
“It’s okay baby, you can ask for help. Do you want me to?” He asked quietly so only Cyrus would hear.
Cyrus closed his eyes and shrugged a bit.
"Probably should…" he murmured.
He had a hand pressed to his side; the pain had flared a bit again when he moved to sat down.
He should have been okay. He'd taken some pain meds a bit earlier to help his headache and body aches. Yet, here he was. Still a lot more helpless than he thought he would be.
Marcus nodded gently, pressing another gentle kiss to his cheek before he turned to look at Pollux.
“Hey, Pollux? Could you take a look at Cyrus’s wound..? I don’t think I did enough to help it. I’m no medical expert.” He looked over at his boyfriend and his expression went sad. “I don’t want him hurting because of something I didn’t do right.”
Pollux got to his feet. His eyebrows were a bit furrowed.
"Which one?" he asked, "Is something going on with it?"
Cyrus looked down, avoiding eye contact. He had a hand over Marcus' knee to keep himself calm and comforted.
"It's the gunshot wound in my side. I just- it's still in a lot of pain, and it's hard to move."
He wasn't going to say anything further, like what had happened in the living room just now. That it was bad enough that he'd nearly fainted, that it made him feel sick. Cyrus let Pollux sit on his other side, where he lifted his shirt to show the wound.
"Mind if I touch? My hands are clean."
"I-I guess you can," Cyrus replied, a bit apprehensive at the thought.
Pollux traced his finger near the wound, but not on it. He was muttering to himself.
"Stitching looks okay, it's not that red or swollen…"
He carefully touched around the edges of the wound.
"It's not hot to the touch. It does look pretty rough, though. How deep was it?"
"I don't really know," Cyrus admitted, "I wasn't really aware of that in my state."
"From the looks of it, you're just still in that really shitty, painful part of the healing process, and if it was really deep, it might last a while. So be patient. I know it's hard. In the meantime, I can give you some ointment to stave off infection, although honestly, it looks good in that regard."
Pollux cast a glance over to Marcus. He couldn't help being pleased at his work.
"So you have no actual medical training?" he asked, "Because it looks like you've been doing an excellent job with his wound care. He's very lucky."
Marcus watched silently as Pollux examined Cyrus. He was incredibly nervous about it all, afraid that Cyrus wouldn’t be able to heal or that there was something wrong. What he got in return made him sigh in relief. Cyrus was okay, he was just hurting.
Marcus leaned over to press his forehead against the side of Cyrus’s head, sighing deeply.
“Thank god. I was so worried for you.” He murmured, nuzzling Cyrus softly before Pollux addressed him. Marcus sat up straight and offered an awkward smile.
“I haven’t had any training other than what the internet says and what other gang members have taught me. I’ve been shot enough times to know what works best for it…” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I’ve been trying my best to keep everything moving towards the healing process when Cyrus lets me.”
"Okay, well you're doing alright," Pollux said, "And Cyrus, if you need anything else for the pain, I can get that for you."
"I-I'll be fine," he said, "I've been sleeping it off most nights. I just moved wrong and it… it got a lot worse than it's been for a few days."
Cyrus had a hand on the back of Marcus' shoulder, finding that the other was able to pretty easily comfort him through all his apprehension.
"I appreciate you so much- you don't even know," Cyrus whispered to his boyfriend.
“Thank you Pollux… I was worried.”
Marcus purred softly at the praise. He once again kissed the other’s cheek gently and offered a small smile. “I’m here for you, Cyrus. I love you so much.” He murmured in reply, humming at the contact. It felt so good to be loved, to have someone who cared.
Pollux gave a little shrug and stood up.
"Anyway, I'm going to be in the living room if you need me. Probably won't sleep for a bit, since I'm still a bit jittery from the meds."
He tucked his laptop under his arm and walked out, leaving the two alone once again.
Cyrus let out a relieved sigh.
"I love you too. I think I'm gonna lie down. You can cuddle with me if you want."
He moved under the covers of the bed, careful not to move in a way that hurt him.
“Thank you.” Marcus called after the other as he left, sighing deeply. He turned back to Cyrus and smiled.
“I’d love to cuddle as long as it’s alright with you. Are you still hurting bad?” He asked kindly, moving to join the other under the covers. He pressed more loving kisses across Cyrus’s face, trying to convey as much affection and love as he could into the small acts. He just wanted to let Cyrus know he was still there and still able to give love despite his own injuries.
"Not as bad," Cyrus said softly, "I don’t… really know what happened. I'm sorry."
He motioned for Marcus to scoot up into his side- the one that wasn't injured- so he could hold him close.
"How are you holding up? I know you've been in a lot of pain too. Probably more than I have. I didn't mean to shift any needed attention away from you."
Marcus did exactly that, sliding right up against Cyrus’s good side and cuddling into him. “You’re alright my love. It wasn’t anything you could control.” He reassured, smiling sleepily as he finally settled into a comfortable position.
“I’m okay. You need the attention just as much as I do, Cy. I’m in pain but it’s manageable for now…” Marcus held his injured hand close to his side, not wanting to lay on it accidentally.
"But I'm healing," Cyrus said, "Your wounds are still new and need more care. But… I guess I couldn't help it much…"
He leaned into Marcus.
"I've been ungodly worried about what might happen to you," he admitted, "I've… I've been having a lot of bad thoughts about you dying…"
He dared not mention in a lot of those dreams and intrusive thoughts, he was the one who did it. But they were just that. Thoughts. He'd never want to hurt Marcus.
"I hope that fades away a bit now that you're safe."
Marcus brought his good hand up to cup Cyrus’s cheek in a comforting way. “I’m safe here in your arms now Cyrus. I’m not going to die anytime soon. Not if I can help it. If you’re ever worried about that you can talk to me and I’ll try and help soothe you my love. You can always call me too, if I’m not around.” He nuzzled into Cyrus’s cheek, smiling sweetly.
“We’re both safe now. We’re both alive, here, together.” Marcus kissed Cyrus sweetly once or twice before returning to nuzzle into Cy’s cheek. “Just know that I love you so goddamn much.”
Cyrus let out a quiet "mhm," squeezing his eyes shut and taking in Marcus' warmth.
"I love you too, so goddamn much."
He frowned a bit.
"Do you think there’s any way we could start going to therapy? I know we can't share our whole stories, but I still think we could both benefit after all this. And for me, there's the matter of medication."
Marcus took a moment to consider it. Therapy might be an option… but they would never be able to fully admit to everything they did…Cyrus wouldn’t be able to work out everything. But there were still things they could work out…
“Maybe… I wonder if there’s some sort of gang recovery program or something…? Maybe a place that’s tolerant of the- you know… killing…? Maybe a therapist who’s worked with gang members and that’s their specialty?” It sounded too hopeful. Marcus didn’t want to consider something like that. It felt all to fantasy-like. “I don’t know if I’m being honest but the medication for you would be really helpful.”
"That'd be… I don't know that it exists, but it would be great."
He pondered this for a moment.
"I wonder if that's something I could do one day… After all, I don't know that I can make a living just like everyone else. You know I'd talked about my interest in psychology…"
He leaned into Marcus.
"And yeah, I'd like to agree. Of course I don't know until I try it, but medication seems like a good fit. It might at least take the edge off."
“You’d be really good at it, Cy. I think you could do it. I know you really like psychology and it’d be a good thing to go into especially with our situation.” He wrapped an arm around Cyrus carefully, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. Cyrus’s smell filled his nose and left him a little more sleepy than before.
“I know medication has worked for a lot of people too. I bet it’d be a good thing to try at least. It might help lessen those panic spells you get too.” Marcus murmured, tilting his head at the thought.
"God, that'd be so nice…" Cyrus mused, "It's kind of my normal, so it's crazy to imagine life without that dragging me down."
He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Even if it is all wishful thinking, I do truly believe we're in a better spot now than we were starting out."
Marcus smiled up at his boyfriend, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and closing his eyes with a soft sigh.
“I think we are too. In a much much better place than when we started. No more abuse… no more fear.” He murmured, sighing in relief. “I’m so glad.”
"That's right," Cyrus soothed, "No more."
He stroked Marcus' hair and started to relax a bit. He was becoming very tired.
"Mm… how're you feeling? Did the medicine help any?"
Marcus was starting to doze off already, the weight of the day crashing down on him. He hummed sleepily at the touch, nearly purring like a cat.
“Still hurts, not as bad though. Just an ache. Still feel my fingers even though they’re gone… ‘s weird.”
"I've heard that can happen," Cyrus replied, "But it must feel pretty strange actually having it happen to you. You think you'll be able to sleep alright?"
He leaned a bit closer.
"You can always wake me if you need anything in the middle of the night. I don't mind at all."
Marcus shrugged, the movement hardly there. He sighed in content against Cyrus as the other leaned closer, the warmth a welcome feeling.
“I think I’ll be okay for now, Cy. Thank you, I’ll wake you if I need you.” He promised. “I love you.”
"I love you too. So much."
With that, he started to drift off, holding his lover close. He was so relieved that Marx couldn't hurt him anymore.
Marcus hummed in delight, his brain already fogging over as he too closed his eyes and began to drift off.
“Love you so much… my Cy” His soft reply was accompanied by a large yawn. It was time to sleep and Marcus succumbed to it with pleasure.
(Shall we skip? And if so, to where?)
(Yeah, not sure to when though? Next morning, or were you thinking a few days bc they're kind of useless and still early on in healing rn?)
(Maybe a few days? They are a little useless at the moment sadly, maybe a bit after they’re somewhat healed?)
(Yeah, that sounds good. Whose place will they be at?)
(Goooood question, probs back at Marcus's? Just cause its a bit of a home to them now…? maybeee?)
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