“That’s soooo saaaaad!” Hel drags her hands down her cheeks and whines about such an unfortunate situation. She suddenly points to Azgoroth. “Azzy! Quick! I wanna hear how you met your wife! Please let it be a happy story because my heart can’t take more pain!” Keziah pinches her eyes together and groans again. Her patience is dwindling.
"I'll make it fast" Sighs Azgoroth "Kuu was once an angelic. However, we ran into each other at some point and she sacrificed her holy flame for me". He laughed "I'll be honest I was busy researching ways to ward myself against holy flame I could actually touch her, and she showed up in my library, we were together for a few millennia before Cer'Sherad had his accident. Hopefully I can see her again soon. and Hel, Keziah looks on the brink of murder so. You may want to divert your attention"
Keziah breathes in indignantly and lifts her hands up. “Honestly? I’m about to bring up something that will sour the mood considerably. So I’ll allow her this little moment of talking about cherished persons and then we can talk.” Hel looks back a little nervous.
“Wait what? What do you want to talk about?”
Keziah waves her hand dismissively.
“No no. Have a little joy for now. It won’t last.”
“Kez, you’re making me worried, what are you-“
“Hel.” The lines on her face seize sporadically and makes an odd effect on her eyes. She speaks through gritted teeth. “I swear on my sixth eye, just get it out of your system and then we can discuss more imperative issues.”
Hel shrinks back anxiously and puts her hands up defensively. “Okay. Gotcha. Understood. Affirmative.”
She turns back slightly chewing on her tongue. She looks up at Azgoroth and resumes her cheeky grin. “Sooooo…. is that you can’t or you won’t?”
Keziah tilts her head at her question. “You should specify what you mean. He won’t understand what-“
“Baby making.”
“Oh mY FU-“ Keziah slaps her face into her hands and bites her tongue.
(I fucking knew it)
Azgoroth leans backwards and then makes a small choking noise "HEM. ACHK, ah. Well, I CAN switch forms, so technically we could have intercourse, but the subject never came up, and I'm not even sure what would happen should we attempt to have a child, usually when a god has one based on power they have either a demigod or a lower god. I am an elder god, I don't know what would happen should I have intercourse with Kuu".
"Wait… you haven't even fucked your own wife??" Vozreal asked, confused as fuck
"No" Says Azgoroth "Perhaps we will discuss it at some point down the road, once we finish up here and I retrieve the last ingredient. Intercourse is not necessary for a happy relationship you know. I'm sure it helps some but I never felt the need for it, perhaps Kuu did but I assumed she didn't, quite the conundrum… hmmm".
“Aw, don’t think too hard about it Azzy! Me and my boys didn’t get intimate until we were all okay with it. It’s actually kinda funny! Me and Cherry thought we couldn’t bear children because we were two completely different species. And then one day, I was pregnant! It was weird! Like, really, really, weird. Cause, um, he’s a dragon like creature and, they… they lay eggs and… I….I thought…. well he thought…. we….” she falters. She suddenly feels a squirming feeling in the pit of her stomach and feels her fur lift off her face slowly. She claps her hands and laughs. “Wow! That never happens! I just got really embarrassed! I think I’m gonna stop now. Haha!” She was a wide and sheepish grin on her face and giggles to herself. Even Keziah has to hide her face away from the others.
"You know…" He said to Hel.
"Your husbands are lucky to have you." He said. He may or may not have developed some feelings
(OOC: Oh daaaaaaamn. Would it be a downer if I said that Hel already son-zoned him?)
“Aw, thanks Voz! I know I’m lucky to have them too. Lemon gets soooo ruffled so much whenever I talk or do something silly. But I know that’s cause he’s worried about me. He’s such a little sweetheart! And my Cherry, good word! His heart is warmer than any ray from the sun and his voice makes birds cry in shame!” Her eyes close as her smile only gets wider as she talks about her beloveds. “Aha! I always feel so happy when I think about them!” She opens her eyes and there is a soft, fond light shimmering in her pupils as she looks at the ground.
“My Lemon is such a sourpuss! So, our kind is mostly colored black cause something about “genetic pigmentation” or whatever, but he’s colored yellow! Like a lemon! He looks silly with it, but he was one of the most gifted and professional alchemists in our convent! He had practiced it at its most advanced levels for decades! At first he couldn’t stand me. He was all like” Hel straightened her back with her hands behind her waist and pursed her lips to mimic arrogance. “‘To think that a witch of great renown would trouble herself with such trivial nonsense!’ What a riot!” She laughs boisterously and slaps her knees. “But since he was so dang good at his job, he was the target for a lot AND I MEAN A LOT of kidnappings and assassinations. I had to bail him out every time. Those days were fun. We made a game out of it and he was actually starting respect me. Then appreciate me. Theeeeen admire me. And it just got more fluffy as time went on. He’s such a little dork.” She snorts into her hand. “And he haaaates it when I call him Lemon in front of the others. He’s so sensitive about it! I let him call me Grape aaaall the time, but the second I say Lemon, Lemz, Lemmy, Lemony Snicket, or Sir Lemon Face, he gets so embarrassed!” She holds her stomach while she laughs and her face stings from how hard she’s smiling. Even Keziah chuckles lightly at her little tale.
(Fuck… maybe we could do like a relationship between them? not like mother son, but as lovers??)
"I… wish I was your husbands…" He confessed
Hel freezes so viscerally she legitimately turns to stone. Keziah turns away and stays silent with her hands covering her mouth. Hel comes back to flesh and blood and out right wheezes at Vozreal’s confession. After regaining her breath she puts a hand on his shoulder.
“Voz. Vozzy Boy. Voz Dog. Vaudeville. I need you to understand somethings about myself that can’t be contextualized to it’s full extent. I’ll just give you a watered down version of it.” She clears her throat. “One. I’m dead. Two. I’m super dead. Three. I’m no longer alive. This form is here for plot purposes. I’m, for all intents and purposes, a corpse. And four, I need to check in with Lemz and Cherry to see if they would be okay with another member. The problem is, we all died. So applications are kinda closed until further notice.” She let’s go of his shoulder and gives him a sympathetic smile. “Sorry kid. I just can’t reciprocate your feelings. I’m sorry.”
"Oh…" He said, leaving.
"And you broke my father's heart…" Britney said.
"Great job, ass." She said, not really liking this Hel now
"I am surprised" Says Azgoroth looking up "I did not think things would develop in this manner".
Hel stares at Britney in shock. “When did you get here?? It’s been like an hour! Forget it, that doesn’t matter, Voz, come on man. I can’t rewire my heart to like you! I haven’t developed those kinds of feelings since I died. Maybe Hex cursed me in my undeath or something, but I just can’t bring myself to look at you that way!” She looks at Britney. “You wouldn’t understand, kid. Feelings aren’t developed on a whim. And when they are, you can’t expect someone to fall for you. Especially since my situation is… unique…. Kez, help me out.”
Keziah, who aimed to exclude herself from the conversation, sputters in shock. “Me!?”
“Yeah, you! You dealt with stuff like this all the time!”
Keziah’s fur fluffs up and her eyes widen while her mouth goes stiff. “Hel. I had never been through anything like this.”
Hel looks at her confused. “Yeah you have. You’ve told me. All those times you just kinda bounced from person to person and had to let them down easy or hard and-“ THUDONK. Keziah slams a fist on top of Hel’s head. Hel goes stiff with a pained look on her face and falls backwards, toppling on the floor. Keziah looks thoroughly humiliated and breathes in to calm herself. She turns to Britney with a majority of her composure regained.
“Loves effects on a persons mind varies, but it’s generally understood that it makes them behave more erratic or spontaneous. Not only that, an initial reaction to love may fade over time as it is a great appreciation or admiration for a person that claims the heart rather than true love. Furthermore, being courteous and polite are not declarations of affection and you should not expect to receive love in return. And his sudden declaration while Hel was talking about her dead husbands….” Her voice became low and reverbated slightly. “…was completely uncalled for. She was reminiscing about people she loves so much. She feels guilty about what she did to them. She got all of them killed. She feels she killed them. But they still love her. You can not replicate that bond between them.”
But he already left.
"yare yare. He simply stated that he wished he was them, not that he wanted to be them. It may sound like it's the same thing, but it's not. He just wanted to get to know you better, but you took it to mean that he loved you! He doesn't like being in a romantic relationship anymore! Everytime he's in one, his lover dies! He was just complimenting you! For fuck's sake!!" She said, in a rant.
"You selfish BITCH!!"
(I agree with Kez on this, but devil's advocate.)
(Idk what to write RN)
(WIFI BACK HALLELUJAH)
Hel was thoroughly knocked out on the ground from Keziah's blow, drooling and unconscious. Keziah's expression does not change as she tilts her head and speaks calmly at Britney. "That should have been clarified. I will apologize on behalf of Hel, but please get your father back. The Beast could strike at any moment and it will take the target separated from the group." She turns around to assess Hel.
"No. I want Hel to apologize to my father first." She said, getting her bow ready
I finished drawing them!! Finally! Here's how the girls* look!
Hel:
Keziah:
Hex:
*only one of them is a girl. the others are a conceptual corpse and an abomination
I'll respond tomorrow when I get the chance.
Keziah makes a loud and audible sigh at this girl's stubbornness. She kneels down and shakes Hel's shoulder. "Hel? Please get up. There are some matters we have to deal with." Hel's head titters back and forth and her eyes remain closed with her mouth slightly open. Keziah vigorously shakes both shoulder now. "Hel! Wake up! I didn't hit you that hard. You've had worse." Hel does not respond as she is out ice cold. Keziah puts her head to Hel's chest and hears the little thumping of her artificial heart. She lifts her head up and takes a claw to Hel's chin. She starts brutally seizing it left and right as to invoke some kind of reaction. Nothing. The most she gets is a strangled snort as her airways are toyed with. Keziah groans, gets up, and turns away to face Britney. "My apologies, it seems that my strike was so… impactful, Hel cannot be conscious. That matter can wait. You need to call your father back to ensure that he is not picked off by the Beast. And please put that bow away. Savor your arrows for the battle."
"Yare Yare Dawa…" She sighed, as she got the things to summon Vozreal.
Azgoroth busied himself planning an attack pattern for the angelic warriors. He had learned that sending people in flailing aimlessly was the key to failure, you needed a solid plan tucked the illusion of randomness. Then, you could truly catch your opponent off guard.
Keziah leaves Hel to lay on the floor for just a moment as she leaves Britney to summon Vozreal. She stands next to Azgoroth and looks at his warriors. “How much intelligence do they convey? Can they respond to commands?”
"An eye, a tooth, the blood of a tainted goat, and a piece of cloth…" Britney mentioned
"They can take orders, answer questions, and carry out basic conversations. They are naught but shells as is" replies Azgoroth.
Keziah nods in understanding. “Excellent. Let’s hope they can prove fruitful in battle.” She turns back around at Britney and oversees the summoning circle. She notices her mumbling various ingredients and arches her eye. “Is there anything I can do to aid in the summoning? Or do you have all these ingredients?”
"I summon you, Crimson-Eyed Beast!" She shouted, making an upside down anarchy symbol. A dark grey cloud spiraled around the pentagram. It made it hard to breathe. And then a flash of yellow light appeared from it.
"What now?" A familiar sounding tall radio man said, when the smoke cleared. But… something was different.
“Ah Vozreal, your back. Hel is still unconscious, but when she awakens I promise that-“ She pauses as she processes Vozreal’s ‘different look.’
He was a she now. She was… for lack of a better term… thicc.
"Hm?" She said, same radio voice and everything. Same height too.