(Oh god, I feel that)
"Fairview…" Nina echoed, "Hm, I'll see what I can do. I can start by telling him our meeting can wait. And if it can't, I'll go there. It's not horribly far, and I have people to accompany me."
"Nina, I never thought I'd say this, but you're a fucking saint," Cyrus sighed.
Nina chuckled. "Cy, I'm not a complete bitch. I've been through a lot too, you know. You haven't seen the half of it. And I empathize with him."
Cyrus bit his lip, about to ask what she meant. But he wasn't sure he should pry, especially since it might be sensitive.
(This week stole my brain)
Marcus watched Nina’s expression for a moment, moving so he could press his face against Cyrus’s good shoulder.
“Empathize? You too?” He asked quietly, hoping his implied question got through to the new gang leader. Did she know the fear of once again being taken advantage of? Did she dislike the skin that had been touched wrongly? Or was it all him?
(Oh god, me too. I'm about to fall apart because I literally get no days off this semester, for school or work.)
"Perhaps not exactly the same," Nina said, averting her gaze, "but I have been in some… unsavory situations to say the least."
She rubbed at her upper arm.
"It was probably my fault, though."
Cyrus tilted his head.
"Nina…" he murmured, closing his eyes. Why didn't you tell me?
(Oh no! That’s not good! Make sure you set apart time for yourself! If you don’t feel like replying or even just need a break go ahead and take one, okay? Your health comes first!)
Marcus shook his head, gently tapping Cyrus’s chest. “It’s never your fault when you’re abused or hurt. Cyrus taught me that.” He retorted, rubbing his fingers along Cyrus’s arm in a soothing action.
“The the fault of the one who did you wrong, in the abuse setting that is.”
(Yeah, that's why I went MIA for a few days lol. Plus my folks visited me over the weekend so we could celebrate my birthday, which was fun, but also draining af)
Nina bit her lip.
"I- Maybe for you two… but I think I was asking for it. No one ever really raised a hand against me, I just…"
She shook her head.
Cyrus finally broke his silence. "Nina, who was it?"
"Doesn't matter. I killed him," she snapped, her voice turning cold, "I got sick of it. Angry. And I killed him."
(Happy super late birthday, but seriously, make sure you’re watching your health, okay? And even if you just don’t feel up to it, take a break. YALL ARE IMPORTANT)
“It doesn’t have to be just physical… there’s other types too.” He spoke carefully, not wanting to cross a line.
When Cyrus broke the silence and Nina turned cold, Marcus drew back a little.
“We understand that more than anyone, Nina.” His voice was near whisper. “Whatever happened to you, you didn’t deserve it.”
(Thank you!! I'm trying to take care of myself, yknow, as much as I can, given all that's happening. I at least have a strong support system to hold me together, and we only have a little over a month left of classes, so I'll make it. I just gotta. Hang in there.)
Nina made a little noise.
"Oh, it was physical. He just didn't hit me or anything."
She bit her lip. "Either way, it's over now. And had it not happened, I probably wouldn't have any special kind of sympathy for you."
Cyrus thought quietly to himself over who that might be… until he hit a bullseye. It all made sense in hindsight, but it made him mad all the same. He'd never been particularly attached to Nina, but just the very idea of her being forced to do things she didn't want pissed him off.
"Nina, Sean was found dead in his home this morning. They think some rival gang did it," Cyrus explained softly when Nina entered the kitchen.
She was quiet in response. At the time, Cyrus thought it was her way of showing grief. Losing her edge. But now he knew. Now he knew she was responsible. That blank-slate face was not hiding sadness, but instead, it was hiding the shame of him violating her, and Nina having enough.
"I'm sorry, Nina. I know you two were pretty serious."
"Yeah, we were…"
(That’s good! Keep at it! Hang in there! I feel you though. It’s rough without breaks and time off.)
Marcus fell silent again, rubbing at his own arms in an attempt to rid himself of the ghostly hands that passed down them.
“I’m sorry.” He shivered lightly, sighing deeply. “It’s- god I wouldn’t wish it on anyone… it’s hard to come back from it… to feel normal again.”
"I'm fine," Nina insisted, "At least I am now."
It was hard to tell if she was just throwing up a guard or telling the truth, but Cyrus decided not to push on the matter. After all, it was very much over.
"Thank you, Nina," he said.
"Thank you…" Marcus echoed. He let himself relax a little, shimmying up so he could play with Cyrus's hair.
If Nina held her word, this would give him the time he needed to plan. With Cyrus injured, Marcus had to go about this carefully. He needed to keep himself from injury so he could take care of Cyrus. Though with Marx that might be an issue.
He huffed angrily at his own thoughts, silently cursing the man that had harmed him for so long.
"Wait, so are you going to stay with me if he doesn't come back?" Cyrus asked softly.
He wasn't sure what he wanted. On the one hand, he needed the comfort and help, but on the other, he was a wreck. He wanted to push everyone away if he could, but it seemed hard, if not impossible.
Marcus pressed a soft kiss to Cyrus’s cheek and smiled weakly. “Would you want me to? I’d like to stay but if you’d like to be alone I can leave.” He murmured.
"I- I don't know," Cyrus admitted.
Nina nodded. "I don't mind at all if you stick around. If that's it, I'll leave you two to it."
"Yeah, that's all, Nina," Cyrus confirmed, shifting his gaze back to Marcus.
"On the one hand, yes… I-I need you, but on the other hand…" Cyrus squeezed his eyes shut, "I don't know, I'm having this overwhelming instinct to shut everyone out."
Marcus nodded softly as he listened to Cyrus. His attention was only mildly interrupted when Nina spoke, his eyes flickering in a quiet thanks. She was giving more than she could really understand. He appreciated it nonetheless.
“I don’t-“ he started, hesitating as his thoughts tried to connect dots that didn’t sound right to his broken brain. “I don’t think shutting people out is healthy in this kind of situation… I-I’m not sure though, I don’t really know what’s healthy or not anymore.”
"Logically, I'd agree with you," Cyrus said, "I just… I'm feeling… I don't know."
He rubbed Marcus' arm.
"I feel like I'm suffocating."
He looked down at his lap.
"I'll be fine if you need to leave for any reason, but if you think it's better to stay with me, I'll be happy to have you here."
Happy was the wrong word. He just wanted Marcus as his something to hold onto. A bit of light and hope, perhaps. Cyrus felt like he was entering a downward spiral already, but he dared not voice it. Not now.
“I’ll stay. I’ll help you through this, my love. My darling.” Marcus replied. He gently took Cyrus’s hand in his own and smiled softly.
“I’m here for you now. You don’t have to be alone or go through anything alone unless you wish it.”
Cyrus gave a short nod.
"I really appreciate that. I'm so used to retreating into solitude when I'm like this… It's sometimes easier than having to share it."
He leaned into Marcus' shoulder, trying to calm himself. His heart pounded hard against his ribs, and his muscles felt tight when he tried to breathe, but there was no obvious clue to this from Marcus' point of view.
Marcus held the other close, his fingers running softly through the other’s hair. “It is, but I think it feels better to have someone near even if it’s hard.” He replied, his eyes slipping closed as he rested his chin on Cyrus’s head.
"Yeah, probably," Cyrus agreed softly.
He pressed his hands into Marcus' body for warmth. Then his phone buzzed again. He picked it up and checked his messages. Pollux had replied.
You can visit me today if you want. Won't be up for talking much, though.
Oh. And tell Marcus to feel free to tag along.
"Jesus Christ," Cyrus sighed, tilting his phone so Marcus could see, "Now I probably have to tell him what happened, huh?"
Marcus nuzzled into Cyrus with a soft sigh, humming at the other’s movement. He liked being able to hold and comfort the other.
He perked up when Cyrus spoke, glancing over the texts and letting out a nervous laugh.
“You probably do now. He won’t let it slide once he sees you.” He gave the other an awkward smile, shrugging lightly.
"Yeah… I can't go today anyhow. I'm feeling rough," Cyrus murmured, typing up a reply.
I don't think I can make it today. I'm sorry.
He sent the first message and took a deep breath before starting the second.
I got injured last night. I'm okay, but I'm not really in any shape to go anywhere.
After a few seconds, another message came up.
Oh god. What happened?
Cyrus sighed and rubbed his face.
I'll explain later
He looked over to Marcus, letting out a big sigh and leaning on him.
Marcus watched Cyrus reply silently, pressing the side of his face against the other’s hair.
“You should get some rest, get better before we go see Pollux.” He murmured, wrapping his arms around Cyrus. He was weary of the injuries, trying to keep away from them as best he could.
“Is this okay? Am I hurting you?”
"Could you- ah- move your arms up a little?" Cyrus asked, trying not to sound too pained.
"And yeah, I know. I feel awful at the moment. If not for the whole situation behind it, I would probably have gone to the hospital myself…"
He shifted a bit.
(What's the next major plot point, btw? I don't really have anything in mind at the moment)
“Yeah, I can,” Marcus loosened his grip and slid his arms up, keeping his touch nearly light as a feather. “Is that better? Still hurting? I can let go, just hold your hand, if that’s better.”
The ginger sighed to himself, rubbing at his eyes. He still felt exhausted but he knew he wouldn’t sleep. Not with all the stress that he was in.
(Mmm I don’t have much else other than taking down Marx. We could always do a little time skip to there, if you’d like. After that do we want to touch on their future relationship? Them free and all that?)
(Ooh yeah, sounds good. And maybe we can look at them trying to recover from all their trauma too?)
"Yeah, that's fine," Cyrus murmured.
He was feeling strange. He wanted to be held, but at the same time, he felt almost trapped being touched. A little panicky. He didn't want Marcus to have to put up with that again.
Cyrus' throat felt tight as he contemplated bringing it up. He clearly acted like he was about to say something, then didn't.
(Yesss!! That sounds fun 😂 undo the trauma we’ve given them)
“What’s wrong, baby?” He prodded. Marcus’s fingertips brushed along Cyrus’s arm; a motion that was hopefully somewhat soothing.
“What’s on your mind?” Though he tried to look reassuring and strong, Marcus felt concerned and weak. Could he actually help Cyrus? He’d given the other enough courage to break free, so maybe he could help with something. Maybe he wasn’t totally useless in their relationship.
(Hell yeah!)
Cyrus' mouth felt dry.
"I-I…" he took a shuddering breath. "I'm not sure…"
It felt suddenly so hard to talk. All his muscles were tense. His neck, his chest… It all felt like too much effort.
His gaze fell over Marcus. He was clearly exhausted, and sick, in a way.
(Lets do it! That'll be fun)
Marcus gently drew his arms back into himself, instead settling for holding Cyrus's hands gently.
"It's alright, Cyrus, I'm right here. Everything will be alright." He murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's forehead. "If you're anxious about something or if you have a request you can tell me. I'm not going to be mad or upset."
"That's- I'm not sure…" he whispered, his voice breaking.
Panic was welling up in his chest as they spoke. Cyrus clasped his hands over Marcus'.
"I feel like I'm suffocating," he repeated, "It's- kind of hard to breathe in here…"
He squeezed Marcus' hand tighter.
"I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm so, so sorry…"
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” He rubbed the others hands with his thumbs. “You don’t have to be sorry, my love. It’s alright.”
He gave Cyrus his space while still trying to be there for the other, his eyes wide and scared.
“What can I do to help?”
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