forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @evastardust groupRRAAAARRL

tune

Andromeda: Hello, nice to meet you! This is my ex-boyfriend, Erik.
Erik: You have got to stop introducing me like that.
Erik: I'm her husband.

Padma: Barry, what's wrong? I haven't seen you this upset since you found out Candyland wasn't a country.
Barry: ..WAIT, CANDYLAND ISN'T A COUNTRY?

Robin: You can say "have a nice day" and that's considered polite, but you can't say "enjoy the next twenty-four hours" without sounding extremely threatening.
Oberon: Why are you in my room?

Lucas: Guys, it's been three weeks since I've eaten a vegetable

Chan: At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

Ren: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
Himari: Probably

Elyas: So how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?
Zephyr: Enough

Zephyr: I think the toaster is broken
Elyas: The toaster isn't broken, you're broken

Lucas: Do birds eat leaves?

Chan: One time I squawked at a bird
Lucas:
Chan: It was so rude! It didn't squawk back!

Lucas: Fun fact! The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their life!
Elyas: How is this a fun fact?
Lucas: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you

Lucas: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
Himari: A dentist?
Elyas: I don't know what your dentist is doing, but I think you need to go to the police

Emma: Okay so Sophie asked for fun facts that everyone likes, but she doesn't like my fun facts so you get them
Alex: What's your fun fact?
Emma: At Ted Bundy's execution, people had a party and sold buttons and shirts
Alex: I want Ted Bundy merch

New quote, courtesy of Emi <3

Calla: Do you think Oleander is a sadist?
Lavinia: Yes.
Calla: Wow, there was no hesitation.

not a character quote but–

Person: do you think Mark is a masochist?
Unus Annusers: Yes.
Mark: Wow, there was no hesitation.

Stolen from @ccb and then modified

9 am. Austin just got up 5 minutes ago and is laying face down on the floor. Melissa has been up for 15 minutes and is eating a bow of cereal like a normal person. Joel did not sleep last night.

Austin: hey, do you think i could fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Melissa: you're a hazard to society.
Joel: and a coward. do 20.

Some new characters this time ~

---

Atlan: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-

Jaecar: Probably

Brielle: So how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?

Chace: Enough

Dali: Fun fact! The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their life!

Chace: How is this a fun fact?

Dali: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you

Brielle: Do you think Azrail is a sadist?
Theon: Yes.
Brielle: Wow, there was no hesitation.

Brielle to Theon, from halfway across the battlefield: Stay sexy and don't get murdered!

Theon: God, I’m so fucking clumsy today. I keep bumping into things. I have so many bruises, it’s not funny.
Chace, who broke into his room the day before to move all his furniture exactly 2 inches to the left: Oh, damn. That’s crazy.

[Azrail and Theon arguing]
Theon, suddenly: Do you wanna fuck?
Azrail, slightly confused: …Yes?
Theon: Then go fuck yourself

Brielle: Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Azrail is being a real dick.

Dali: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Azrail: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous motherfucker

Jaecar: So, what was your life back home?
Azrail: [war flashback]
Azrail: …Nothing important.

Azrail: I have this urge to do something stupid.
Brielle: I'm stupid. Do me.
Theon:
Azrail:
The entire group:
Brielle: Did I say it out loud?

Jaecar: He died of natural causes.
Brielle: You pushed him off of a roof.
Jaecar: Gravity is natural.

Theon, to the gang: I would like to offer a toast
Theon, raising his glass: I cannot believe we have already gone through another 12 months of absolute fuckery
Theon: Cheers!
 
Chace: You tricked me.
Azrail: I deceived you. “Tricked" makes it sound like we have a playful relationship

Dali, opening a fortune cookie: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world remains the same
Chace, mouthful of food: Kill two
Brielle, drinking: Kill ten
Theon: Kill all of them

Jaecar: Remember when we didn't solve all our problems with attempted murder?
Chace: Stop romanticising the past.

Azrail: I win
Theon:…I have you pinned on the floor?
Azrail: I know
Theon:

Jaesung: My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend's jokes right now.
Jaesung: Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on his way.

JJ: How are you?
Byungho: That's a personal question.

Chae: Astra doesn't have a life plan. She doesn't even have a day plan. I once found a note she wrote to herself that said "Put on pants" followed by a question mark.

Ghost: Boo!
Orion: [starts to cry]
Ghost: SHIT I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T BE SAD!

PJ: The human body has 7 trillion nerves and somehow, you manage to get on every single fucking one of them.
Maestro: I SAID I WAS SORRY.

Customer, calling on the phone: Is this McDonald's?
Dae: NO THIS IS DAE!

Dallas: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to finish work, so instead, I have Ara periodically message me ‘we need to talk’ to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going.

Crispin: I DO WHAT I WANT!
Kit: I’ll tell Frank.
Crispin: Wait, no.

Brian: It’s too hot for a leather jacket.
Holly: I look cool.
Brian: You look faint and sick.
Holly: Sick as fuck.

Frank: i bet you are wondering why i have called you here today
Frank: it is because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room are not getting along with other people in this room.
Crispin: no need to be vague, Kit and I are literally the only ones here.

Kit: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-

Gerard: Probably

Crispin: Fun fact! The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their life!

Gerard: How is this a fun fact?

Crispin: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you

Brian: God, I’m so fucking clumsy today. I keep bumping into things. I have so many bruises, it’s not funny.
Holly, who broke into his room the day before to move all his furniture exactly 2 inches to the left: Oh, damn. That’s crazy.

Dallas: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Ara: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous motherfucker.

Kit: How are you?
Matthew: That's a personal question.

Ara: Andor doesn't have a life plan. He doesn't even have a day plan. I once found a note he wrote to herself that said "Put on pants" followed by a question mark.

Ara: The human body has 7 trillion nerves and somehow, you manage to get on every single fucking one of them.
Andor: I SAID I WAS SORRY.

Matthew, very unconvincingly: I love emotions. I have them all the time.

Milo, writing to his father: I hope this letter finds you before I do

Andor: You think you're smarter than everyone else

Ara: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am

Caleb: Do you think Crispin is a sadist?
Gerard: Yes.
Caleb: Wow, there was no hesitation.

Jackson: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to finish work, so instead, I have Geneva periodically message me ‘we need to talk’ to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going.

Jackson: It’s too hot for a leather jacket.
Geneva: I look cool.
Jackson: You look faint and sick.
Geneva: Yeah, sick as fuck.

Erik: If all your friends jumped off a bridge, wou-
Percy: Probably

Oscar: Gods, I’m so fucking clumsy today. I keep bumping into things. I have so many bruises, it’s not funny.
Beatrice, who broke into his room the day before to move all his furniture exactly 2 inches to the left: Oh, damn. That’s crazy.

Samuel: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Therese: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous motherfucker.

Harper: How are you?
Beck:….that's a personal question.

Oberon: Robin doesn't have a life plan. They don't even have a day plan. I once found a note they wrote to themself that said "Put on pants" followed by a question mark.

Geneva: The human body has 7 trillion nerves, and somehow you manage to get on every single fucking one of them.

Beck, very unconvincingly: I love emotions. I have them all the time.

Edgar, writing to his Michael: I hope this letter finds you before I do

Percy: You think you're smarter than everyone else.
Alessandra: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am.

Barry: My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend's jokes right now.
Barry: Be patient, queen, a true clown is on his way!

(Oho I’m back with several new side characters)

Dally: My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend's jokes right now.
Dally: Be patient, queen, a true clown is on his way!

Quill: Remember when we didn't solve all our problems with attempted murder?
Jack: Stop romanticising the past.

Doyle: Caffeine no longer gives me the rush I need to finish work, so instead, I have Suanne periodically message me ‘we need to talk’ to give me the right amount of fear and adrenaline to keep me going.

Sam: How are you?
Anthony: …That’s a personal question.

Quill: It’s too hot for a leather jacket.
Elias: I look cool.
Quill: You look faint and sick.
Elias: Yeah, sick as fuck.

Quill: I bet you’re all wondering why I have called you here today.
Quill: It is because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room are not getting along with each other.
Dally: Stop being vague. Jack and I are literally the only ones here.

Andor: So, superheroes get to choose their own costumes right?
Andor: They get to design it based on personal preferences. and a new superhero is probably gonna repurpose whatever material is on hand.
Andor: So if, for example, if a furry gained superpowers-
Ara: I am literally BEGGING YOU to stop talking.

Melissa: I'm not doing too well. I have this headache that comes and goes.
Austin: * walks into the room *
Melissa: Oh look there it is again.

Chance: It's really muggy out today
Austin: If all our mugs are outside on the lawn again I'm going to kill you.
Chance: * sips coffee from bowl *

Chance: I can't go, stress is bad for the baby
Austin: What baby?
Chance: Me.

Austin: Guess what this sweater is made out of
Chance: Children's hair
Kiren: All of the fur you've ever shed
Melissa: Isn't that my sweater
Austin: No, no, and that's beside the point. It's 100% wool
Austin: I'm a wolf in sheep's clothing

Chance: give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be w̴̟͊̑͑a̷̗͍͉͐͌͗r̸͔̆͒m̵̘̺̣͘ ̶̙͕̜̾̓̄f̵̰͔͗o̶̜͙̰͗͆̋ṙ̶̬̲̓̾ ̴̖̂͂t̸̯̤̍̑͝h̸̺͎̞́è̶͉̗̤ ̴̲̆͘r̸̹̬̩͑́̏e̸̫̓s̶͔̪̦͐̈́t̶͔͍̪̽̽͝ ̶̪͋ͅo̷̼͚̞͛̏̒f̴͙͈̗̉̈͆ ̵̡̘͔́h̴̢̰͒ĩ̷̛̺̞̝̿s̶̪͋́ ̴̧̤̅̄l̴̤̅͝ĩ̶̡̌f̵̘̼̊̉ȩ̴̼͖̔̔
Austin: No, stop.

Melissa, doing a crossword puzzle: I need a 6 letter word for disappointment
Chance: Austin
Melissa:
Melissa: are you ready to fucking die

Austin, opening a Capri Sun: guess I'll drink my sorrows away

Austin: Wait, are you drunk?
Chance: Please, off of 12 drinks?

Austin: bored, might start crying for no reason
Melissa: typical friday night then?

Chance: chillax
Kiren: that's not a word
Austin: sometimes those who deny the chillax need to chillax the most

Someone: There are 7 chairs and 10 of you, what do you do?
Austin: everyone lays on the floor
Melissa: just get 3 more chairs stupid
Chance: kill 3 people

Chance: knock knock
Austin: … whos there
Chance: leaf :)
Austin: leaf who
Chance: leaf me alone ahAHAHAHAH
Austin: you KnOCKED ON MY DOOR

Parker: Are you saying I can be replaced!? D:
Quinn: No. I’m saying you’ve already been replaced.

Melissa: Austin, we tried things your way and it didn't work.
Austin: What? No we didn't.
Melissa: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Chance: It'll be fun.
Chance: We'll make it a boys day.
Chance: Come on you punk bitch.
Austin: I can't believe I have to say this.
Austin: I don't have time to get tested for STD's with you tomorrow, you manwhore.

Austin: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.
Melissa: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.