forum "You're The Only Ten-I-See" (Closed)

Started March 26, 2020 by @Rainy_day_artist_classic group

tune

"But I shouldn't be like this. I don't understand why I can't get over myself." Phoenix continued to mutter, running a hand through his hair. He let out a low grumble, sighing weakly.

"Hey, it doesn't matter if you shouldn't be like this," Cicada replied reaching over to pet his head lightly, "And it doesn't matter if you ever get over this. You don't need to ever get over it and you shouldn't have to."

"But it's not socially acceptable for me to have a melt down any time there's a lot of people around. Even if you think it's fine I don't think so." Phoenix insisted, leaning in to her hand when he began to pet her.

"Well, who cares about social acceptability?" Cicada asked him now running her hand through his hair. She had a soft reassuing smile on as she reassured him, "You being fine matters more to me than what others think."

"I care, Cicada…" Phoenix sighed weakly, looking up at her. He gave her a soft look, brows pointed inward. "It's stupid, I know, but I care. I'm happy you like me the way I am, but I'm so tired of being like this."

"I, I understand," Cicada nodded conceding to him. She thought for a moment before silently asking, "Have you tried medication? Or therapy? It's fine if you have, I'm just curious."

Phoenix shook his head, sighing softly. "Not with college. I don't exactly have the time or the money. I purposely chose to go to college over therapy in my senior year." He admitted with a soft voice.

"That certainly is a choice," Cicada replied blinking a few times. She thougth for a moment, "Not a bad choice nessecarily though. What about medication? It should be covered under most insurances."

"Haven't tried anything. I don't exactly know where I'd get prescribed medications like that, besides going to therapy of some kind." Phoenix mumbled a little, holding onto her hand a little tighter.

"I beleive you can talk to a doctor to get them prescribed," Cicada told him gently. She began to lightly massage the back of his hand with her fingers in a soothing matter, "But if you don't want to you don't have too."

Phoenix nodded, letting her do her thing. It was a nice feeling, just being comforted by her. "I dunno… it doesn't matter right now, though. I'd have to wait until we get back home."

"It doesn't. So let's stop talking about it?" Cicada suggested still gently massaging his hand. She was trying to be as comforting and understanding as possible all while trying not to be too pushy.

Phoenix nodded a bit, letting the conversation come to an end. He honestly didn't want to be talking about it anymore, so her suggestion to stop talking about it was welcomed. "Right… okay."

"Cool," Cicada nodded in agreement. She didn't want to talk about it anymore, but at the same time she didn't know what else to talk about. After a moment of thought she eventually asked, "Sooo what do you think of the town?"

"It's nice… it'd be better under different circumstances." Phoenix mumbled a little, glancing around the room. He nodded a little, flicking his gaze back on her. "But nice none the less."

"Yeah," Cicada sighed in agreement. She kept her eyes on him trying not to glance around the room, if she wasn't do it maybe he would stop as well? She didn't know, "I have to agree with you on that."

"I don't want to sound… rude? I guess? But I really want Savanna here… I just want to go back home…" Phoenix mumbled weakly, tracing his fingers against the wood of the table.

"No I completely understand," Cicada replied watching him. She let out a sigh and pulled up her other hand from under the table where it had been shaking, "I can't wait to get out of here."

Phoenix glanced up at her, noting her shaking. "We didn't have to leave the hotel, Cicada… we could have waited for Savanna there…" He whispered, wishing he had insisted she tell him what she really wanted.

"It would have been the same there," Cicada admitted quietly before quickly moving her hand back beneath the table. She shouldn't have shown him that, "I've been shakey all day. I, I just wanted to maybe try and have at least one good memory from this for both you and me."

Phoenix cringed at that, knowing he had completely ruined that plan. So badly he wanted to get up and beat himself up over that. Of course that's what she had wanted, why else would she have suggested they go out? Doing his best to pull up a relaxed face, he nodded a little. He insisted that he suck up any problems he had right now, and get over them for the rest of the evening. "Right… I probably wasn't helping that, huh?"

"I mean, you weren't helping, but you weren't hurting either," Cicada replied looking over at him. She gave him a little smile trying to reassure him once more, "As long as I'm here with you, it's a good time isn't it?"

"I- yeah, of course." Phoenix told her softly, reaching for her hand. He gave her a weak smile, squeezing her hand a little. "I'm hoping you feel the same..?" He mumbled a little, looking up at her.

"Of I feel the same!" Cicada exclaimed softly. She squeezed his hand back giving him a happy smile, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"Mm, well, I didn't know. Just wanted to make sure." Phoenix mumbled, squeezing her hand in return. "You can never be too sure."

"I know that," Cicada replied as she began rubbing his hand with her thumb, "And I'm kind of glad you asked. Now we know we're on the same page right?"

Phoenix nodded a little, giving her a weak smile. He let her hold onto him, not minding the little bit of comfort. "That's true… I guess at least." He shrugged, still smiling weakly.

"Yeah," Cicada nodded slightly in response. She glanced out into the resturaunt and saw the waiter carrying a tray with two burgers on it. She gave a slight nod, "I think our food is on the way."

Phoenix glanced over to where she nodded, forcing up a smile to acknowledge the man this time. He flicked his gaze back onto Cicada momentarily. "Thanks for the heads up."

"You're welcome," Cicada replied quietly with a soft smile. She kept holding his hands as the food was placed in front of them and she thanked the waiter for bringing them their food. Then he left and she let out a sigh.