He took Cyrus’s hands and squeezed them softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the other’s head.
“You’re not anything like him, Cy. You’re respectful of me, you apologized when you thought you went too far. I trust you. But I promise you that I’ll let you know if it’s too much.”
Was too much even a thing anymore for Marcus? He didn’t want to think about that, too afraid of wha he might find.
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Cyrus nodded.
"Okay, okay…" he whispered, trying to reassure himself a bit.
"You can do what you'd like to me, as well, though. I don't mind."
He pressed his lips hard up against Marcus' neck.
Marcus nodded gently, thanking Cyrus quietly. He intertwined their fingers, gasping softly as the other went straight into it.
He shivered, bringing one hand up to cover his mouth.
“C-cy.”
"Mhm?" Cyrus muttered in question.
He didn't stop, but kept at about the same level before any further prompting from Marcus. He squeezed the other's hands.
“God that feels good…” He gave a soft squeeze back, urging the other to continue.
Marcus tilted his head to give Cyrus more room to work, closing his eyes and letting out a sound not unlike a purr.
Cyrus chuckled softly to himself and sucked on the skin on the other's neck, just soft enough to not leave a mark.
"Good, good…" he said.
He moved one hand over Marcus' throat, and put pressure just hard enough to give him a slight choking sensation, but not enough to do any damage. His body was trembling.
Marcus bit his lip, shuddering in delight as soon as Cyrus’s hand closed around his throat. He squirmed against the other, trying to push closer for more contact.
“I love you Cy,” he crooned, looking at Cyrus through lidded eyes.
"I… love you too…" Cyrus sighed, pressing his body closer to Marcus'.
He arched his back a bit, and stretched, trying to release some of the tension in his body. He was not himself. Not himself at all. He probably shouldn't even approach Marcus when he was like this.
For Marcus, the change was confusing but he didn’t question it. He knew better than to go against the one over him, Marx had trained him well enough to just let it happen especially when Marcus was ‘loaned out’. Of course that didn’t mean Marcus didn’t get off to it in some twisted, traumatized way.
But here with Cyrus it felt different, less forced and somehow more loving.
So he laid back and pressed himself into the other, groaning when his own tension wasn’t released.
"God, I can't take it anymore…" Cyrus moaned, "Marcus…"
He tugged at the other's clothing.
"Can we…?"
He felt horrible, like he was being demanding and cruel, but he was so tense. He wanted Marcus so bad, to help take the edge off.
Marcus shuddered at the question, wrapping his arms around Cyrus and nodding. “Of course we can, I love you.” He pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s face, sighing softly.
(Should we skip? Or is there anything else you wanna do first?)
(We can skip! I don’t have anything planned for this part 😂)
(Okay, cool)
After they had both finished, Cyrus flopped over next to Marcus. It all had felt amazing, as usual, but he felt so strangely empty.
"Marcus?" he asked, his voice raising a bit in question, "A-are you sure everything I did was okay? I'm… not feeling like myself. I'm so sorry…"
His eyes settled over Marcus' face.
Marcus panted, watching as his lover flopped over. He turned to curl up against Cyrus, the question throwing him off a little.
Cyrus felt bad about not feeling himself? Wasn’t not feeling yourself normal in situations like they were in?
He stared curiously up at Cyrus, smiling tiredly. “Everything was okay, love, I promise. You were a little tougher but nothing felt bad, none of it rose any flags for me.” He pressed their foreheads together, tangling his fingers in the others hair
“Is everything alright? It’s alright to not feel yourself. It’s okay. You’re my everything, Cy.”
"I… yeah… I think so…" he said.
Yet at this point, he felt almost like he wasn't in his own body.
"Just really… off…"
He bit his lip. His eyes were glazed over a bit.
Marcus brought Cyrus closer, running his fingers through the others hair.
“You look off… are you nervous for tonight?”
"It's different than that," he said, "When I'm anxious, I'm still… me…"
He shook his head a bit.
"Hopefully it'll go away once I get this done, even if it's something besides nerves."
(Ahaha sorry for the long pauses today. I moved into my dorm fully and might have had a teeny tiny mental breakdown but we good now)
"This is… different." Marcus started slowly, shaking his head gently. "You're… going against someone who's hurt you. This isn't a normal hit." He cuddled Cyrus close and pressed gentle, soothing kisses across his nose and cheeks.
(Oof, I feel that. You're fine though! I've started work and school officially myself, so I might be on a bit less.)
"Right…" Cyrus said softly, leaning into his touch.
His phone buzzed, but he shifted his attention back to Marcus instead of picking it up.
He closed his eyes. Cyrus wasn't sure how to explain what he was really feeling without saying something alarming.
(Thanks for telling me! Stay safe okay?)
"Talk to me, Cy." Marcus murmured softly, bringing the other closer so he could sooth him with soft cooes and warm kisses. "I'll listen. I promise, love." He eyed the other, biting his lip. He knew something was wrong and Cyrus wasn't telling him, but he didn't know why the other wasn't.
(Of course!)
"I can't- I can't put words to it," Cyrus half-lied, "Other than, I don't feel like myself. I hardly feel like I'm inhabiting my own body. Like I'm not…here,"
He took in the other's warmth, hoping desperately for grounding. He thought that sex might help with that too, but it didn't.
And in the back of his mind, of course, lingered that terrifying anger and that thirst for blood.
"Are you dissociating?" He asked softly, pressing more kisses across Cyrus's face and neck. He pushed his face into the crook of the other's neck, breathing him in.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Dis…sociating?" Cyrus echoed in question, "I don't know?"
His expression fell a bit.
"God… what the hell's wrong with me?" he muttered, covering his face a bit with one hand.
Marcus gently took Cyrus's wrist and pulled his hand from his face. "Hey," He cooed, pressing a soft kiss to the other's nose. "There's nothing wrong with you, Cy. You've been through so much but you're being so strong about it. Today we're going to free you, you'll be alright after this. I promise I'll be right here for you too."
"Okay, thank you," Cyrus replied, holding Marcus' hand.
He took a few deep breaths, like it might help draw him back in. But he was too far gone for that to work. After waiting a moment, he picked up his phone to see who had left him a message, and he frowned when he saw it.
"He keeps saying he's fine, but the doctors apparently said he's not improving. And he didn't tell me why, but they moved him to the ICU overnight," Cyrus said softly.
He put down his phone and just shook his head.
"I feel absolutely numb…"
"Anything for you." He murmured, nuzzling the other.
"Hes not?" Marcus bit his lip and shivered at the new information. He was trying to hide it but he too was anxious and scared. He wasn't sure what was going on anymore, or if they'd really live to see the next day. He was afraid that Marx would come back for him, to reclaim him. He was worried that this would all be in vain and that he'd lose Cyrus for good.
He was willing to let the other do anything to him if he could stay with Cyrus…
"No, they probably underestimated how bad everything was to begin with," Cyrus admitted, "I think he's stable, but still…"
He moved in closer to Marcus.
"I mean, he's been well and alert enough to send me coherent messages. That's… something, I suppose."
Cyrus shook his head a bit.
"But it's beyond my control. I just… I want to skip to tonight. Get it done. Then I can pay more attention to you and your problems, be there for Pollux when I can so he doesn't have to bear all that alone… I just need to be done."
"I know, Cy. I know. It'll be over soon, okay?" Marcus cradled Cyrus close, closing his eyes and biting his lip. "I wish I could take it all from you." He murmured, rocking them both.
"My problems aren't a big deal, Cy… Not right now at least. Right now I want to take care of you, okay?"
Cyrus nodded, falling silent. He closed his eyes for a few moments.
After a pause in the conversation, Cyrus said, "I love you so much. I don't think I could've done this alone."