Nobody
Ten-year-old-me apparently: Writes a whole ass schedule for Nintendogs on a puzzle box

do i actually need help?

do i actually need help?

Stop justifying your inaction. It'll only make it worse

Nobody
Ten-year-old-me apparently: Writes a whole ass schedule for Nintendogs on a puzzle box

Nobody:
Ten-year-old me, apparently: Starts drawing manga and forgets about the existence of eye whites

Nobody
Ten-year-old-me apparently: Writes a whole ass schedule for Nintendogs on a puzzle box

Nobody:
Ten-year-old me, apparently: Starts drawing manga and forgets about the existence of eye whites

Stupid ten-year-old-selfs club

Long-ish vent coming, just warning you

So I'm adopted, and my parents never told me about my birth mom before now. I don't know what I thought about her… maybe that she had a normal life, that she was well-off, or at least stable. Then my mom told me she was homeless, and I don't know… I kind of wish I could take this all away from her, just take her place, she doesn't deserve this at all. And I learned I had a sister… I want to find her, I want to see my birth family. I don't know if my birth mom is okay now, or if she's still homeless… this is fucking with my head in more ways than one. She probably won't like me, I'm a fucking screwup anyway.
Why do I always mess up the smallest of things?
Why do I care so much about people I haven't seen in forever?

Well, happy vent, I guess?

You know, for the first time in a while, I got on a weight scale. I found out that I am actually underweight for my height. And as much as I despise eating, I've decided that I'm going to eat more. So I guess I'm sorta proud of myself for gaining the willpower to make such a decision.

It ain't much, but it's honest work.

I honestly wish that all of this hasn't happened because instead of me being at home with my mother, I would be staying in northern California with my sister. and now I can't so I'm forced to think of things to do, one of which was make a dress. I was going to use half a dress shirt and an old black t-shirt and cut them in the middle and sew them together. But the dress ended up being shorter than expected, so I told my mom that maybe it could be a shirt instead and she basically went off on me for no reason about how it would look ugly and why would I ever do that and that I should be doing better things with my time. And now I just want to leave my house, but I can't

Hey, your mom definitely should never have said those things. I think it's cool you made a dress, even if it turned out too short. I'm sure it looks cool, and will look cool as a shirt if you wanna wear it that way. I'm sorry you aren't where you wanna be right now. You deserve more supportive people.

Well, happy vent, I guess?

You know, for the first time in a while, I got on a weight scale. I found out that I am actually underweight for my height. And as much as I despise eating, I've decided that I'm going to eat more. So I guess I'm sorta proud of myself for gaining the willpower to make such a decision.

It ain't much, but it's honest work.

I'm so proud of you for making sure you stay healthy! That's great :D

do i actually need help?

yes
woman up and write that note

do i actually need help?

Ella, sit yourself down and just do it. (I swear I wasn't trying to quote John Cena)

What did I- I don't even know what I just did. I guess my mind linked a vine with a vine and smashed them together in that embarrassingly uncultured sentence XD

I wrote it.
I’m just not good at writing, too many tiny lines and repetitive shapes, makes my hand hurt
Plus the thought of actually getting help and having to be asked a bunch of questions is scary
And it’s not like I’m actually depressed
Why am I doing this again

Would you like someone to look over it for you? Or is it more of a private thing?

should I give it to them tonight or tomorrow?
I would just do it tonight but my dad’s not at all having a good day and I don’t want to make anything worse
It won’t make any difference, I won’t be able to actually get diagnosed or anything for weeks or more, and I’ve already painfully wrote the darn thing so I can’t back out

Would you like someone to look over it for you? Or is it more of a private thing?

I already had some friends review it, so I think I’m good there
Thank you <3

should I give it to them tonight or tomorrow?
I would just do it tonight but my dad’s not at all having a good day and I don’t want to make anything worse

Usually I would say do it ASAP, but since your dad's in a bad mood maybe hold off. He might have a bad reaction. What about tomorrow morning?

should I give it to them tonight or tomorrow?
I would just do it tonight but my dad’s not at all having a good day and I don’t want to make anything worse

Usually I would say do it ASAP, but since your dad's in a bad mood maybe hold off. He might have a bad reaction. What about tomorrow morning?

If you wait for the morning you'll also have the entire day to look into possible ways to help/talk through it, as opposed to a few hours before bed.

The point of doing it at night is so the littles will all be in bed or asleep.
That way my parents won’t be as busy, can plan things out, and actually have the time to talk to me if needed
Mornings could work if I remember to wake up early, but I don’t ever remember to wake up early so it would just get put off more

The issue with doing it tomorrow night is that it gives you an entire day to second guess yourself and back out of it.

I'd say just do it, Ell.

Oh boy. Nothing stresses me out like pedestrians crossing in front of me while I'm stopped at a light

I remember being in China and having to cross 4 lanes without a stoplight. It was like fucking Crossy Road irl.

I can’t really back out now
I put way too much time and hand pain into that stupid thing
Even doodled a small but carefully shaded zentangle on the other side
There’s not a chance in heck I’m throwing it away

when a girl in your class did something you've wanted to do for a while

and now you just feel like shit

and like you can't do it anymore

I am not doing well :)

I'm confused. I'm completely alone. Yet I heard breathing that didn't seem like my own. Almost like someone's breathing when they're asleep So I held my breath to make sure I wasn't just freaking out over my own breathing. Still heard the breathing. So I hope I'm just hearing things. I probably am. It's just weird how loud it was I guess.

I'm confused. I'm completely alone. Yet I heard breathing that didn't seem like my own. Almost like someone's breathing when they're asleep So I held my breath to make sure I wasn't just freaking out over my own breathing. Still heard the breathing. So I hope I'm just hearing things. I probably am. It's just weird how loud it was I guess.

salt