forum "You're The Only Ten-I-See" (Closed)

Started March 26, 2020 by @Rainy_day_artist_classic group

tune

Phoenix smiled softly, glancing both ways before crossing the street. "I think it's just because it's your favorite. But I'm not judging you." He chirped, biting into his own cookie.

"Probably," Cicada responded following after him. She had a smile on, "But I'm allowed to have my own opinions. And in my opinion, chocolate makes everything better."

"Counter opinion, it doesn't taste good with vegetable. I tried it one time, and I'll never do it again." Phoenix hummed, chuckling just a little bit. "But besides that, I might just have to agree with you."

"I can agree with the vegetable statement," Cicada responded with a little laugh. She thought for a moment her mind deep in thought, "What if we put chocolate, in the snickerdoodle? Make the ultimate combination."

"Mmm… we'll have to try it sometime." Phoenix hummed, finishing about half of his cookie up. Folding it in the napkin it came with, he tucked the rest away in his pocket. "That could be either terrible, or amazing."

"I think it'll be amazing," Cicada responded with a big grin on. She spotted the swings and started to walk towards them. If no one was coming, maybe it would be okay to share her little secret with Phoenix. Hopefully, he wouldn't react poorly to it, "But that's just my opinion."

“Well, we’ll just have to try it. There’s no better way to find out.” Phoenix hummed, shrugging slightly as he followed behind her. “But, I’m not the best baker. So unless you are, we’ll have to find someone to do it for us.”

"I'm not the best either, everything I try to make," Cicada let out a slight laugh before finishing up, "Burn everything." She was calm enough to make jokes about her own abilities and mistakes. Though guilt still racked her a little.

Chuckling a bit, he shook his head at it. “Haha, very funny.” Phoenix said sarcastically, coming up to the metal structure. Leaning up against it, he glanced over to her with a soft smile.

Cicada sat down on the seat leaving him by the metal branch. She looked up at him with a soft smile as she began to swing slightly, "Why thank you. I do try to be sometimes."

Snickering softly, he pushed up off of it and walked around so he was standing behind her. "Want me to push you?" Phoenix asked as he ran a hand through his hair. "If not, that's fine too."

"I, sure," Cicada responded biting her lip slightly. She should be able to handle that much without freaking out, right? Right. She would tell him to stop if she didn't and he would stop. She knew that much already, "Just be gentle?"

Nodding, he took the chain in his hands to draw her back. "Of course. That should be simple enough." Phoenix smiled, letting her go so she would swing forwards. When she came back, he lightly pressed her forward on his lower back.

Cicada held onto the chains as she started swing. She pushed her legs back and forth humming a little as she swang gently, "So, um, you probably want an explaination don't you?"

Glancing up at her, he sighed as he nodded a bit. "Well, if you're up for it. An explanation would be nice." Phoenix mumbled, still carefully pushing her back and forth. He didn't want to pressure her into telling him. That's the last thing he wanted.

"I, I think I'm up for it," Cicada responded. She knew she would be telling him sooner or later today and now seemed like a decent time to explain the less supernatural part. The one that involved her blacking out, "When I was, oh 9 or 10 I think, my parents died in a house fire. Bit of miracle I made it out alive. Anyways, after their death, I got put into the foster system since none of my relatives wanted me. Called me a 'devil child.' I wasn't one back then, not really at least. But I never got a real chance to grieve and gained a fuck ton of trauma from the fire. So combine unloving, uncaring foster homes with undealt with mental issues and you have a recipe for a fucked up childhood. The abusive ex I met later in high school didn't help either."

Phoenix listened intently, still gently pushing the swing back and forth. "I don't want to be one of those people, but have you tried therapy? You can't exactly say everything that just happened today, I don't even know what happened today, but it might help." He offered her, trying not to be insensitive. Which honestly, wasn't too hard.

“I, I haven’t tried it yet. But I’ve been wanting to,” Cicada admitted. She let out a sigh, “Fosters refused to take me and the my ex manipulated me into thinking I didn’t need. But I know I probably do. Sorry about just unloading right there. I figured getting a better picture of how messed up my younger years were would help explain what I’m about to say. I have this, um, thing about being touched. Pretty sure you’ve figured out that much already, but if I don’t know I’m going to get touched or grabbed or whatever I tend to freak out. And depending upon how hard they touch me, for example grabbing my wrist and pulling me roughly, I tend to blackout and my fight or flight just sort of takes over. The same thing happens around fire.”

Slowing his pushing, he sighed knowing there wasn't much he could do. Besides being careful around her, and letting her do her thing. "Yeah, I can understand that. That really sucks, Cicada." Phoenix mumbled, walking over to his own swing and sitting down. "I'll be careful. I promise. I'm not sure what else I can do to help besides that. Tell me if you can think of something, and I'll be happy to do it."

"You just, need to be my friend," Cicada responded looking over at him with a smile. She kept swinging a little as she let out a sigh, "It sounds stupid and cheesy, but that's what I really need right now. Probably what I've needed the past ten years, a friend. Telling me if you're going to touch me helps too and, uh, not treating me like I'm made of glass. Cause I'm not."

Phoenix cringed a little, knowing he may have taken his gentleness too far. But he was also nervous at the time. He didn't know what he knew now, which changed things. "I'm sorry for treating you like that. I'll try not to do it again… I was just kind of paranoid." He told her, gnawing on his bottom lip just a bit. He was making excuses, but they were legitimate. "I'll be here though. I promise."

Cicada laughed a little and smiled at him, "No, no you've been fine. I, I really did need to be treated like, um, glass, as much as I hate to admit that. But if you didn't from this point on that would be nice. You've been a really good friend so far, and, and I don't think you'll stop being one."

"Of course. I'll be… careful, about not being careful? I guess?" Phoenix offered with his own weak laugh, kicking off the ground so he would start swinging back and forth. "I'm glad you think I'm a good friend. I just hope I can keep upholding that image."

"You definitely are, and you don't have to try that hard," Cicada laughed a little as her smile turned soft watching him, "Um, how have I been as a friend? Just, um, curious."

"What do you mean? That questions leads to a variety of answers." Phoenix pointed out, glancing up at the blue sky. His smile was relaxed, as he lazily swung back and forth. "You're a great girl, and fun to hang out with."

"Heh, that's one answer," Cicada responded with a smile. She wasn't putting much effort into swinging, just allowing herself to rock back and forth calmly. She let out a sigh, "And I think it's a pretty good answer too."

(I apologize for not replying. I was a little busy/stressed out today, so my creativity hasn't been going well.)

"Indeed it is. As it is one-hundred percent true…" Phoenix chirped, running a hand through his hair to brush his hair back. "One thing to know, I rarely ever lie about something. So just assume eighty-five percent of what I say is going to be true."

(You're fine! I completely get creativity being dead.)

Cicada laughed a little as she looked over at him. She seemed to have almost completely recovered from earlier being able to laugh and joke with no worries. It was strange how quickly she could turn around, "Will do. What about actions though? Like the little forehead kisses?"

(It's been happening too much for my liking… eheh. But thank you for understanding)

Glancing over at her, he gave her nervous smile. "What do you mean? Like… affection meaning something? Or am I missing what you're talking about?" Phoenix asked, drumming his fingers on his palm and against the chain.

"I, while I was, um, freaking out, you kissed my head and forehead. I was just, wondering what that might have meant?" Cicada responded blushing just slightly. She let out a sigh, "You don't have to answer, I'm not looking for answers. Just being curious."