"Makes sense. Also we're going to the reversed sexuality dimension. Everyone has the opposite sexuality as Universe A-11, the universe we come from. Gay people are straight here, and vice versa. Bi and pan people are the same. Also asexual people/ being, like Vozreal here," Azrael said as Vozreal raised his hand and lowered it, " Are hypersexual."
"That's cool," Allison said as they went through the portal.
"Okay, cool."
"yeah it is," Azrael said.
They entered the dimension. They were in America
"Hey, Theo, this place looks familiar."
"Yes, yes it does."
"I can't pinpoint what it is, though."
Theo points off into the distance, where there is a skinny, rickety-looking wooden tower.
"No way, that's crazy. We're back in Windpost, except in a different dimension! How weird is that?"
"Slightly less weird than the fact that you've casually gambled with interdimensional beings, and succeeded in acquiring wealth of any amount."
"Fair enough, fun sponge. Anyway, I wonder if we'll see ourselves? Or Meryn, or Cody, or Aysen…"
"Wait, in a dimension where sexualities are reversed, would we or any of our friends actually exist? By the logic this dimension follows, we would not exist, and our parents would not have gotten together."
"Okay, let's not think about the fact that time is so fragile that even the slightest change in history could've lead to us just not existing. So, where's the rip?"
"It's on a different planet," Azrael said.
"Which one?" Vozreal asked.
"Fowjia."
"Let's go," Allison said.
Azrael opened up another portal to another planet.
"This is in the Hyi-18 system," Azrael commented before entering the portal.
"Wait, I get that you guys are immortal and stuff, but we're not. Does this planet have an atmosphere? Because our mom is going to kill us if we die."
"The irony of that statement was truly beautiful."
"Yes, it does," Azrael stated, "also, Allison isn't immortal. She is able to die. Now, let's go."
They went to Fowjia.
"Change your currency to Fowjian Dollars, if you don't have any, here's some," Azrael said as she held out her hand towards Chelsea and Theo, "remember, one Fowjian Dollar equals 2 Multiversal dollars. One Multiversal Dollar is equal to 5 US dollars
"We'll exchange our own money, we don't want to take any of yours. And one Fowjian dollar is ten US dollars. Got it. Make sure not to forget that, Theo."
"Yes, very funny. Anyway, is there any chance that we are going to run into Hewalo?"
"There's a chance," Azrael said, "if he actually exists, and Vozreal's not just making him up."
"I'm not!" Vozreal protested.
"Remember to be careful here," Allison said.
The planet was bustling with humanoid aliens, weird creatures and bizarre flora.
Azrael founded the second rip. She did the same thing she did last time.
"Now that's done, let's go back to this Universe's Earth," Azrael said. She teleported everyone to Earth, R-105.
"Now, let's chill for a moment," Azrael and Allison both said.
"Yep, let's do that," Vozreal chimed.
Azrael sat down in the forest since they were back in Paradox Vortex, in R-105. She cracked open a Potato Beer.
"That hits the spot," she said as she drank it.
"Are you sure you should be drinking?" Vozreal, of all people, asked.
"Fun fact: One of Chelsea's worst fears is becoming an alcoholic. Or becoming a gambling addict."
"Yeah, that's true. Luckily, I have a chocolate problem, so I don't have the time to get addicted to something else."
"That would be the first time you spoke positively of your chocolate addiction."
"I mean, at least it's dark chocolate. It could've been white chocolate, that would be a real problem."
"Agreed."
"Cool," Azrael said, uncaringly.
This was like her, usually, but this time, it was a reason for concern.
"Hey, Azrael… is everything okay? Something feels off…"
"It might be the planet and surroundings."
"Theo, you're almost always right, but I don't think that's it right now…"
"Perhaps she has had a drink too many."
"Sure."
Both of them discreetly check to see that their weapons are still on them.
"It takes seven Potato Beers to get me drunk," Azrael said, "But it's not that. It's the meaninglessness of life."
"I forgot to tell you guys," Allison said to Theo and Chelsea, "but Azrael has severe nihilism and depression."
"Life is pointless. I mean, in some dimension, you don't even exist! In others, Hitler won WW2, and America turned into a Nazi version of itself. It makes you think about how small you are." Azrael commentated, "Potato Beer is just my way of dealing with it once in a while."
"Alright, let's go," Vozreal said.
"Fine," Azrael said.
"You're not going anywhere," A weird, seemingly going further away and yet getting closer, slitherly voice said.
"Hewalo," Azrael said calmly.
"Yep."
Chelsea and Theo drew their weapons for real this time.
"Hey, what's the protocol for dealing with this thing? Do we stab it, or send it away, or wear it down, or what?"
"Or all of the aforementioned?"
"Like, what are its goals? What is it trying to do?"
"It just occurred, that this might be rude. The thing is right there after all."
"Hey-walo, what exactly do you want with us?"
"Chelsea, this is not the time for puns."
"Every time is pun time."
"Why must I live with this."
"That was a statement and not a question, wasn't it? You already know the answer, Brainiac."
"Back to the monster at hand…"
"Oh, sorry we interrupted you. Now spit it out before we beat you up, or something."
Hewalo came out of the shadow. He looked exactly like Darkiplier, red and blue glitches and all. He had a sidekick. They also came out of the shadows. They looked like a all too familiar yellow dorito. Bill Cipher.
Hewalo addressed Chelsea and Theo.
"They been telling you lies," Hewalo said as he pointed at Allison, Azrael, and Vozreal, "but don't you want the truth?"
"Truth is Absolute, Lies are Relative!" Bill Cipher said.
"REALITY IS AN ILLUSION THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM BUY GOLD BYE!" Chelsea yelled as she jumped through a portal she created.
She disappeared and the portal closed.
Theo was unconcerned. "This happens sometimes. She's gotten pretty good at doing impressions, I have to admit."
He checked his watch, then held up his hand.
3… 2… 1…
Chelsea jumped back out of the freshly reopened portal, except now with a top hat and a cane.
"Sorry, I know it doesn't match my outfit. Anyway, if a mini-Weirdmaggedon is going to go down, it needs to end before 5:30. It's 4 o'clock right now, so I think we could blast you out of existence provided we have the right tools. Theo, do you have the disintegrator ray?"
"Here it is."
"Edgelord and Razzle Dazzle Dorito, just stay still. It'll be quick and painless, as long as you don't move. 3… 2… 1…"
click
It didn't work
"That won't work," Hewalo said about the disintegrator ray.
"I have a physical form," Bill said, "it's funny how dumb you are."
"Think about it," Hewalo addressed Chelsea and Theo, "You have someone who previously tried to destroy the other two's entire universe on your team, and the other two are just naively trusting him. Don't you think that's a bit… strange? How do you know he's not lying to you?" Hewalo swirled a wine glass full of wine in his palm.
"Well, everything's weird, and I definitely don't trust him," Chelsea says as she waves her knife in Vozreal's general direction, "But if anything, I know I don't want to trust you either. And for the record, I didn't really expect the ray to work, I just thought I might try the most logical weapon we had first. Experimentation is how you get success, eh? Also, I'm getting a little hungry. I'll be right back."
She jumps through another portal, then bounces immediately out.
"I got two. Here Theo, here's yours."
"Well, there goes my appetite for dinner. I'm not going to ask what flavor it is. It's probably molten lava or radioactive waste or something."
"Actually, yours is vanilla bean. Mine is almond and cicada."
"What?"
"It's a Malaysian specialty or something. Anyways, Cipher, what do you want again? World domination? Actually, wait. I should ask the most pressing questions first. Does anyone else want ice cream? I only have two hands, so I couldn't have gotten more at the time I initially went, but now I feel bad that I only got enough for myself and my brother. Jaundiced Illuminati, you want anything?"
"I don't have a mouth," Bill said, "but Ice cream would be nice."
"Yes, please," everyone else said.
"I can give you anything you want, unlimited power, money, etc. I can make people stopping being an ass to you. All I ask is a price." Hewalo said.
"Don't trust him," Vozreal, of all people, said.
"Shut up, discount me," Bill Cipher said.
"Don't believe him!" Azrael said.
"Haha, having all of my problems gone would be incredibly-"
"Chelsea, don't say it."
She finishes the remainder of her ice cream cone, then resumes.
"I was going to say lame. Besides, I'm a problem in and of myself! As much as I enjoy self-deprecating, I don't hate myself that much. And what would life be like with no problems? Boring, if you ask me. People being annoying gives me the opportunity to insult them like a petty child, or to chase them down with any one of various weapons, and it also opens up the option to not do that. Why would I want to give up that moral dilemma? Anyways, I'll go get more ice cream."
She pulls out a notebook. "Okay, so that would be Allison, Azrael, Vo… not going to say it, just in case, Dapper Nacho, and Gamer Boy. I'll be right back."
She jumps through the portal again, now with five ice cream cones that she was juggling.
"Hey Theo, put mechanical limbs on our list of things to do," she said, still juggling. "Brace yourselves for your incoming ice cream. 3, 2, 1."
The ice cream ends up in their respective owner's hands.
"I think it's magical or something, so it tastes like whatever flavor you want. Anyway, yeah, thanks for the offer. Actually, I have one question for the Pyramids of Weirdness - could you make yourself disappear along with the other guy for a price of free, no strings attached? Just kidding, I'm not taking any chances."
"Whatever. I'll be back," Hewalo said.
"We'll be watching you," Bill said.
They left from where they came.
"Well, wasn't that a waste of time?" Allison said.
"Yeah, that was weird." Azrael commented.
"What if that was the point?" Vozreal added, "to waste our time so we couldn't finish our task?"
"Hey Theo, I guess being super annoying does have some merits. I think we just irritated them into leaving."
"Or maybe they just wanted to scope us out and give us a taste of trouble."
"Who knows? You can't trust those sketchy triangles. They could be interdimensional demons, or even worse, coffee-flavored Doritos."
"If those exist, then I might as well give up on life."
"Well, they're gone now. Let's zip the rest of these puppies up so Theo and I can get home on time."
"Lets go," Azrael said, and they went to the next universe, R-57, the recersed Gender universe.
Everyone there was the opposite gender that they were back on earth in universe A-11. If you were male on A-11, you're female on R-57, and vice versa. if you were intersex, you stay the same. Trans people want to be the opposite gender they wanted to be on A-11.
"Hey Theo, you look like me! Except you're taller than I am. Wait, would I call you Thea because you're a girl now?"
"And you look like me. I don't know about the names, though."
"Huh. This is weird. Whatever, I'm sure the name thing isn't that important."
"I HAVE BOOBS!" Vozreal yelled when he looked down at his chest.
"Really, Vozreal? Of all the things to comment about, that's the thing you decide to comment about?" Azrael sighed.
"What? it's not everyday you gain boobs."
"Yeah, I guess you're right, if only because I have boobs every day!" Azrael said sarcastically.
"Oh, right."
"Let's not get distracted by boobs, or lack of them, and get this shit done!" Allison added.
"Okay," Azrael said.
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