no nia-
don't say you're fine when you aren't
because i know you're not fine…

doesn’t matter. just ignore me.

nia. listen up.
i'm not going to force you to tell me what's bothering you besides what i already know, but i want you to know that i do care and i will actually go yell at people online if they hurt you.

i do these things for my friends. not for random strangers who say oh this person did this to me, so will someone go yell at them for me

no. i do these for my friends only. for kind strangers online? maybe. but it is always guaranteed that i'll do these for friends.

so i want to know what's bothering you, but no, i will not keep bugging you about this if you really don't want to tell me about it.

it’s fine… i’m fine…

nia. i know i said i wouldn't keep bugging you, but something tells me you're not fine. and i do genuinely want to help, so i'll ask one last time. are you sure that you're absolutely find and/or you don't want the help right now?

hey maddie? idk if you'll ever see this, but i just think that you might like this song-
i won't tell you what it's about, because i think it's a meaning you'll want to figure out on your own-
but here it is: (and once you do figure out what it's about, it's really hard to not see the meaning behind the lyrics)

I'm a fan of Jaiden, so I already saw this pretty soon after she posted it

My mom found out about notebook and I’m surprised I’m not dead yet
How’s everyone else’s days

First day back of online school. Meh

I just joined the Science Zoom call and my teacher just skipped over me:
Teacher: She's not here…
Friend: She's here..
Teacher: She was marked present, so she's been online..
Me, in chat: I'm here
Teacher: Okay, she's here.

I just joined the Science Zoom call and my teacher just skipped over me:
Teacher: She's not here…
Friend: She's here..
Teacher: She was marked present, so she's been online..
Me, in chat: I'm here
Teacher: Okay, she's here.

And the best teacher award goes to…

Wait wait wait hold on
Yall did the name vide discussion while I was zonked out
How dare

Wait wait wait hold on
Yall did the name vide discussion while I was zonked out
How dare

Red: Possibly angry, can definitely kill you
Ace: Can and will kill you. Watch out

y'all I don't think chemistry is real. Like sure, these things are made of more things and they interact with each other in different ways, sure Mrs. shithead. Sure.

Wait wait wait hold on
Yall did the name vide discussion while I was zonked out
How dare

Red: Possibly angry, can definitely kill you
Ace: Can and will kill you. Watch out

Thank ya for your service

As an aspiring biochemist, this is not how I should think, but I also just hate my teacher. Usually since it's a college class, she has the college prof do the lecture videos, but today she's doing them and her voice is so boring that I just block it out

Science is fake. This isn't real. no way someone was like "1000 calories should be a different unit, but what do we call it?" and someone else goes "What if we call them Calories?" "No, that's the original unit" "But this one uses a capital C" "GENIUS!"

Kind of wondering about my own

your real name (hehe I know it because I'm specialllll)) gives off lowkey badass vibes. Like, will act nice in front of adults, but verbally and physically take you down when there's nobody else around.

What vibes does my name give off?

What about my name?
Not Ash, but Maya

I am dissociating like no. freaking. tomorrow.

help.
Seriously felt like I was floating for a minute.

What vibes does my name give off?

Oh! Oh! Do me too!

Also, I'm in that mood where I really wish I had physical friends who would drop everything to come hug me.
Quarantine is making me hate myself more than usual.
I take a shower every day, look at my face, look at my body, cry, go do my face wash, realize how ugly I am, cry some more, then I feel disgusting because I can't even muster up the energy to struggle into my binder which makes me feel dirty because if I don't go out of my way to wear my binder, am I even trans? Then I go wash my face again because I look horrible and maybe the scars will go away if I was enough, then I put a face mask on, then I take a bath because I feel gross by just being alive.

Just know that if I could hug you right now, I absolutely would.

_{I'm sorry I'm terrible at making people feel better}

Also, I'm in that mood where I really wish I had physical friends who would drop everything to come hug me.
Quarantine is making me hate myself more than usual.
I take a shower every day, look at my face, look at my body, cry, go do my face wash, realize how ugly I am, cry some more, then I feel disgusting because I can't even muster up the energy to struggle into my binder which makes me feel dirty because if I don't go out of my way to wear my binder, am I even trans? Then I go wash my face again because I look horrible and maybe the scars will go away if I was enough, then I put a face mask on, then I take a bath because I feel gross by just being alive.

I understand.
This probably won't help but Reedy, you're valid. So incredibly valid. You know you're trans. We know you're trans. Everyone who matters knows you're trans.
It sounds like some anxiety and dysphoria is really getting to you. What usually helps you with these feelings?

Name vibes please

Name vibes please

Pato?

Name vibes please

Pato?

I mean you could use my actual name MaK

my name gives off a different vibe than I do, but it kinda works for me

Name vibes please

Pato?

I mean you could use my actual name MaK

Okay.
MaK is cool. Kind of gAnGsTeR. But also that one rich kid who's nice to everyone.

Someone just crashed my science zoom class and said some swear words and the n-word
So today’s going great