forum Boys will be boys (CLOSED MxM ROLEPLAY)(Stalkers welcomed and appreciated <3)

Started March 16, 2020 by @Fraust

tune

Rowan started crying silently when he was out of Damien's sight. He remained silent, both on the way to mental hospital and once he was there. He just refused to speak to anyone at all.

Damien called a ride and left as soon as possible. He didn’t say much on the way back, simply staring straight ahead out of the windshield. He had so much fucking cleaning to do when he got home.

(A visit would probably be good?? Idk how long Rowan is gonna be stuck here tbh)

Rowan sat in the visiting area, tapping his foot anxiously on the ground as he waited for Damien to arrive. He'd basically become an empty husk, having not spoken a single word since he arrived.

(fair enough)

Damien first checked in, nervously coming over to the visiting area. He hid his fidgeting hands in his pocket, gnawing on that rubber necklace around his neck. He had felt a lot more stressed since Rowan was admitted, though he was sure not nearly as stressed as Rowan felt.

Rowan looked up when Damien came over. He had dark circles under his eyes and seemed unusually pale. He felt like he'd gotten worse while he was here in a way. He'd lost his will to do just about anything.

Damien came up to his friend. Seeing Rowan like this made the hair of the back of his neck stand straight up. He took a small breath. “Hey, Ro.. How are you, man?” He swallowed a lump in his throat.

"Please take me with you…" Rowan whispered, his voice weak and broken from not using it. "I don't want to be here… I… I-I'm worse than when I came…"

Damien froze up, mentally. He essentially had two options here: either leave Rowan where he was or take on another life when he could barely care for his own. His mouth opened slightly, but he quickly shut it to think some more about this decision. “I- fuck, Ro. I have to think about it, I’m sorry.”

Rowan nodded and lay his head down on the table, clearly exhausted. "I… I-I haven't been able to sleep… or eat. I'm just like… so overwhelmed by how much I fucking hate myself right now… this shit is all my fault and I can't do anything about it."

“Look at me, kid.” Damien tapped the table in front of Rowan. “I get why you wanna get out of here. I just- fuck it. It’s not really your fault. I- uh- I can try to take you back with me, if they let you out.”

"I feel so empty…" Rowan whispered weakly. "This is the first time I've spoken to anyone since I got here, Damien. I'm starving and I can't even resist the urge to destroy myself anymore… I think I've got a roommate, but we don't talk, and it's not much better than being alone… I'm going crazy in here, Damien. I can't stay."

Hearing Rowan talk about starving and destroying himself made Damien physically nauseous. Not enough to be actually sick, but enough for him to be visibly uncomfortable and upset. He felt awful for a while slew of reasons, in a whole slew of ways. “Okay- okay. I can- I can ask. I just.. I don’t know where you’d sleep, unless you’re okay with sharing a bed.”

"I don't fucking care anymore, Damien. I'll sleep on the floor, I don't care. I just need out of this place. I still can't even fucking walk. Y-You gotta help me." Rowan looked up at Damien, shaking and struggling to keep himself from crying.

God, this felt like so much pressure on Damien. He wasn’t even a fucking adult yet, and here he was, having to choose between withdrawing his best friend from a mental hospital and boarding him in his own home or leaving him there to waste away. He swallowed a lump in his throat. This wasn’t how my senior year was supposed to go. “Okay- yeah. Okay. I- fuck.. I’ll try and get you out. Okay?”

Rowan nodded, his breathing hitching as he rubbed at his teary eyes. "I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I just… I c… I c-can't stay here…"

Fuck, please don’t cry.. Damien sighed, reaching over to ruffle Rowan’s hair. “It’s okay, Ro. Don’t worry.”

"Can… can I have a hug…?" Rowan asked weakly, looking up at Damien from where he was sitting.

“Yeah. Yeah, you can.” Damien came over to Rowan’s side, hugging the boy gently. He wasn’t sure when he was supposed to get Rowan discharged.

Rowan hugged Damien tightly, drawing in a few wavering breaths to try and keep himself from crying. He clung to Damien for dear life, as though he expected the other to disappear if he let go.

“Hey- hey, buddy, man, it’s okay.” Damien winced slightly at how tight the hug was. He was already binding that day, and having more pressure was ridiculously uncomfortable. “It’s okay. I’m gonna do what I can to help you out.”

"I'm… I'm s-sorry…" Rowan quickly pulled away when Damien tensed up in pain. "I-I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you, I… I-I'm a horrible person, I'm so sorry, Damien…"

“Can you s-“ Damien cut himself off, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. “Never mind. You didn’t hurt me, it’s fine. Don’t call yourself a horrible person, because it’s just not true.”

Rowan was trembling slightly with nerves and seemed to be incredibly jumpy. "This place has destroyed my last two fucking brain cells, Damien. I c… I c-can't… I don't even know… I can't be here anymore…"

“Okay. I’m sorry about that, I really am. I just-“ Damien sighed softly. “Look, I can try to get you out of here, okay? I can try to get you back to my place. But you need to promise you’ll try to get better.”

"I'll… I'll try my best, Damien… I'll try…" Rowan rubbed at his teary eyes and drew in a few quick, shaky breaths.

(i'm sorry for that small gap! it may happen more, as i find myself needing to take time away from social media, etc- i'm not abandoning this, don't worry, i just need to take a break sometimes!)

"Yeah. Thanks." Damien ruffled Rowan's hair, giving him a tiny smile. "When do you want me to talk to the desk lady? About getting you out?"

(Np <33)

"Whenever you want to, I guess… it's not really up to me." Rowan drew in a wavering breath and rubbed at his eyes again.

"Yeah, alright." It sorta is. Damien stuck his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels.