“If I’m on your side where will that get you if I’m on his side where will that get him huh? If you two leave your relationship like this where will that leave you. Alone. I’m here sure, but I have someone that I love and hey we discussed this the right way. Not the way where you avoid each other forever. Did he say that you two were done?” Rowan wiped away those tears. “He loves you I know that for a fact. When he ran out crying I talked to him and he told me everything about you two. It’s not even a secret at this point, he wanted to play a song for you for your birthday. That’s why he had a guitar. He wanted to give you something special. You know how I know you love him. You talk about him non stop you set him as your background to your phone. And everyday that he is not at your house and you are not at his house. You call each other right? So if you want to let him go, look me in the eyes and tell me that you do not love him or care about him.”
“He told me himself we’d be better off apart. I don’t get it!” He sobbed. “I told him I couldn’t think about our future right now and he got mad at me and I do love him and I want to be with him but I can’t go over there..” his voice went quieter. “I can’t go and apologize and change my opinions for him. He doesn’t even trust me to go to college by myself and not cheat on him..”
(What’s the name of Rowan’s boyfriend?)
(Thank you)
“I never said you have to apologize. When you said you can’t think of your future right now did you ever mention that he’s in it? Besides no one can think about their future on the spot. He’s probably had his life planned out from the moment he met you. Listen, you have every right to not be thinking about your future, but if I were him and Grayson was in your shoes I would be devastated if he said that he didn’t want to have a future with me. I hope you know I have that fear everyday I don’t talk to my boyfriend. Right now, I don’t know where he is. I don’t know who he’s with and that scares me. The fear just doesn’t go away. It’s there. Did you ever think that he wants to go to college to be with you and love you every second of the day? Also, did you walk out on him or did he walk out on you?”
“But I’ve told him that I want to be with him forever and that I will be with him forever..it’s like he doesn’t believe me.” Payton replied quietly. “I just want him to have a good future. I want him to take advantage of how smart he is and go to a great college and then we can spend the rest of our lives together. I don’t know how to tell him that I can’t see us happily going to college together. I want him to have new experiences with different people and call me and tell me about them. And..and you and Grayson are doing great! You two are like five states apart and hardly ever have any problems! Why can’t I have that? I just want him to believe me when I say that we’ll be okay even if it’s calling and texting every second of the day instead of hugging and being face to face. I..I walked out on him..”
“Alright, how about we both tomorrow since you’re pearly not in the right state, go see him tomorrow after school okay? All I’m saying is we didn’t have a choice to go to the same school. You two do. I say take advantage of that. But what you’re saying is that you prefer education or loving him and being with him. He’s saying that he prefers to love you over education. Just think about that for a minute. Don’t say anything just think about that. Do you want me to stay here for the night?” Rowan asked.
“I just..I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t know how to commit my life to one person for four years. I’m scared..” Payton broke into a fresh round of sobs. “Can you go and check on him?” He asked quietly, staring down at the sheets. “Or..or get Tyler to go check on him?”
"I'll text Tyler to go check on him. I know you wouldn't want to be left alone." Rowan sighed and took out his phone.
Hey, can you go check on Kyle for me. Payton says they broke up, but I thinks it's just a really bad fight…anyway do you know where his address is?
"It's okay to be scared. On the bright side. Since you walked out on him you have the say in weather you two are broken up or not. So? Are you?" Rowan asked pulled him in his arms.
Yeah I think. He’s just a couple doors down from Payton, right?
Payton wrapped his arms around him again leaning his head on Rowan’s chest. “I don’t want to be..I hope we aren’t. He said we should break up though..”
Yeah…hurry up alright?
"Good. At least you have that figured out. Now we wait for Tyler's report on how Kyle's doing.
Though Kyle was passed out on the floor, holding a knife as blood dripped from his arm. Too much blood. The door was slightly open so anyone could get in if they really wanted to. Kyle felt as though he was nothing without Payton. He didn't want to apologize for loving Payton. Besides all this relationship is, is Kyle apologizing because Payton would always find a way to place the blame on Kyle.
Tyler headed over to Kyle’s house, frowning as he pushed the door open. “Kyle? You okay?” He asked, peering into the house. He stopped for just a second when he saw Kyle, but only a second. “Shit, shit, not again.” He muttered, kneeling down next to Kyle and grabbing a towel, wrapping it around the cuts. Tyler checked his pulse quick before dialing 911 and having them bring an ambulance.
something happened to Kyle. Ambulance on its way. He won’t die. Don’t tell Payton unless you think he can handle it. He texted Rowan, squeezing Kyle’s hand anxiously.
What?! What happened?! He's going to hear the goddamn sirens anyway! He texted back. "Payton…Kyle's….okay…except Tyler called an ambulance. I don't know what happened. He told me he wouldn't die so you don't have to worry about that. We need to go to the hospital now. They won't let you get in the truck unless your family." He spoke faster trying to get Payton get up with him.
Cut himself multiple times Tyler texted back, his hands shaking slightly. He’ll be fine, it’s okay..
Payton’s head shot up and he stared at Rowan in shock. “Wh- what- he’s-“ He stammered, letting Rowan help him up. “What happened to him?” He choked out, clinging to Rowan. “Was if my fault? He added, barely above a whisper.
Rowan cover his mouth. "He…He….Tyler said he cut himself multiple times. We need to go now!" He took his hand and ran him out the house. "Where's your car I'll drive."
Payton stumbled after him, handing him the keys and getting into the passenger seat, tears streaming down his face. “It’s my fault…if I hadn’t left..I shouldn’t have yelled at him..I’m sorry Kyle..I’m sorry I’m sorry..” he sobbed quietly into his hand.
Tyler straightened up as the paramedics arrived. They asked him a couple questions while they checked his vitals.
“Was he like this when you arrived?”
Tyler nodded, feeling slightly numb.
“Do you know what caused it?”
“Uhm..he just broke up with his boyfriend. I..I didn’t know he was suicidal.”
They asked him a couple more questions before driving away with Kyle, leaving him. Tyler stood and cleaned up the blood before pulling out his phone and texting one of his friends. You okay?
Uh yeah I’m fine, just doing homework. Why? She texted back.
Tyler shook his head, sighing a little and driving to the hospital. no reason
"Hey, it's not your fault." Rowan assured him as they both got in the car. He drove as fast as he could to the hospital. He met up with Tyler when they got in. "What's his condition?"
Payton hadn’t stopped crying since they got in the car. He held on tight to Rowan’s arm and hand as they walked towards Tyler.
“He’s asleep. He’s doing fine. They think he’ll be awake in a couple hours.” He said gently, pulling Payton in for a hug and glancing up at Rowan with concern.
Rowan nodded. "Okay, it's okay….he'll be okay…" he whispered. "Can we go see him yet?"
“Yeah, again..he’s not awake yet but you can still go see him for a couple hours.” Tyler nodded, looking down at Payton as he lifted his head.
“Are his parents coming?” He asked quietly, stepping away and rubbing his eyes.
Tyler shook his head. “They couldn’t get ahold of them. “It’s okay though. Just be there for him when he was up. He’s in room 245.”
Payton nodded and looked down the hallway towards the rooms before starting to walk away from the two.
Tyler turned to Rowan and gave him a quick hug. “He will be okay, physically. I don’t know what mental state he could’ve been in to nearly decide to…kill himself in fifteen minutes.” He said, sighing.
Rowan understood what he meant. "Do you want to go see him now or do you want to wait until he's awake?"
“I’ll stay for bit more but I’ll probably wait until tomorrow to talk to him and stuff.” He clasped his hands behind his back, letting out a breath. “I’ll just give him and Payton some space for now.”
Payton found the room and slowly walked in, staying close to the door. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks but didn’t bother to brush them away. What do I even do? What do I say when he wakes up?
(though I answered SORRY!!!!)
Rowan did the same keeping an eye on Payton. Idiot…why did you go and get hurt? Rowan scrunched his nose. "I'm going to call Grayson. So I'll leave you alone." He walked out the door and leaned on the wall in the hallway.
Hey, can you meet me at the hospital?
(No problem!! That text was for Grayson, right?)
Payton walked to one of the chairs near his bed and sat down, knees to his chest. "I don't want to break up with you, Kyle.." He whispered, gazing at his sleeping boyfriend. "I wish we could work this out.."
Why the hell are you at the hospital??? I'll be there in a minute
(ye)
Rowan looked back to Payton.
It's not me it's Payton's boyfriend. He…just get here quick
Rowan shut off his phone and sighed. Of course, crying wasn't his specialty, but for right now he let his emotions get the best off him. Rowan's tears turned into sobs. The more he tried to wipe them the more they would appear.
(the whole squad is here lmao)
Grayson arrived a couple minutes later and found them without a problem. He rushed over to Rowan and pulled him into a hug. "Hey..what happened to him? Where's Payton?" He asked calmly, casting a concerned glance around. Rowan never cries..this must be really bad..
(Yup lol, everyone is here to support satan)
Rowan hugged him back, loving the feeling of someone in his arms. "He's…in the room." his sobs would cut him off. "They had…..a really….bad fight…Payton walked out and…he…cut himself…so many times…"
(pfftjfkdsl except for their other suicidal friend who'd probably just show up and be like lol been there done that)
Grayson pulled him over to a chair and made him sit down, holding his hands. "Calm down. He's alive. He'll be okay. Where's Payton? How's he doing?" He asked, squeezing his hands gently.
(Thank you for surviving suicidal friend that doesn't have a name)
"He's with….Kyle now. I don't want this….to happen again. Not again…" Rowan clenched Grayson's shirt. "Please…not again…" Rowan dug his head into Grayson's neck.
(Wait shit she's not dead lol)
