forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

"…Those were things you didn't want to do," Steve replied, his voice soft and likely drowned out by the rest of the party, "You couldn't stop yourself, Bucky. It's okay."

Bucky shrugged. "But I did them. Whether or not I wanted to do them or not, I did do them." He closed his eyes for a moment.

Steve sighed, trying to keep his tired shoulders up for the sake of appearances. "Good people do bad things, and that doesn't change the fact," He said, "You can't be held accountable for something you didn't want to do."

Bucky let out a breath. "Fine. Whatever." he replied softly, scuffing his foot on the floor like a kid in trouble. "Sorry."

" 's Okay," Steve said with a slow nod, his gaze gentle and steadying, "It's…a process. One that I'm…here for. I want you to know I'm on your side."

Bucky nodded. "I know you are. But…in the long run, I don't know if that'll help anything." he said quietly, shaking his head.

"Of course it will," Steve said with assurance, "I'm gonna help in any way that I can. Any way, anything that I can do, I'll do it."

Bucky shrugged slightly. "Maybe. I just…I don't know, Steve." he replied quietly, looking out the window.

"That's okay, too," Steve said with a soft smile, glancing out the window and nodding to himself, "We'll figure it out; we always do."

Bucky let out a quiet laugh, and nodded. "Yeah, alright." he replied.

Tony came over. "Alright, Steve. What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Hm–" Steve turned, "Oh. Um," He bit his lip, weighing his options. I could tell him; it'd be a relief– but he'll never shut up about it. Hmm. "On second thought, maybe I don't need to. Or, another time?"

Tony sighed. "Steve, seriously? No chickening out on me. Come on." he replied, waving a hand. "You'll forget or something if you put it off."

Won't forget this, Steve sucked in a long breath, "Are you sure?" He casually glanced around the room, well aware that Bucky was literally next to them. He couldn't admit his mixed-up feelings now, "But here? I dunno– it's a bit of a bombshell. Well, not to you. To me."

"You don't have to say it here, no. I meant come with me to the other room real quick. I'd agree you don't want to say anything important with all these reporters around. Bucky will be fine." Tony replied.

Steve glanced at Bucky with the question written on his face. What if the journalists corner him again? He sighed, turning back to Tony, "Okay. Yeah– we'll step out of the party real quick. I'll be back in a minute?" He said, his gaze flickering back to Bucky.

Bucky looked over, and nodded slightly. "Right. Okay. I'll be fine." he replied, looking out the window again.

"Come on." Tony said, starting to walk again. He led Steve over to a different area of the tower, to a separate room.

Steve begrudgingly followed Tony to another room, trying to get his thoughts into a proper state of communicating. What would I even say? 'You were right, I am kind of in love with him?' God. He nervously crossed his arms, resisting the urge to start pacing back and forth.

Tony looked at him, raising his eyebrows slightly. "So. What did you want to talk to me about?" he asked, looking curiously at Steve.

Steve rubbed his eyes. "I um…don't exactly need to talk about it– I just need to…" He laughed, shaking his head and looking up at the ceiling, "–Um, confess? I guess. That um– you were…you are right about…" Steve shrugged, "What I feel…for him."

Tony stared at him for a long moment. "You…oh." he said slowly, blinking. "Does he know?" he asked, looking at Steve carefully.

Steve took a long breath, his lungs making it seem like the asthma never left. He shook his head, "No, he doesn't. I– At least I think so. I mean, it's been this way for a while. And–" Steve bit his lip, shaking his head like his own disbelief would erase his thoughts. The serum didn't. "No, he doesn't know. He can't know. He'd never look at me the same."

Tony let out a breath, looking at Steve carefully. "Right. Okay." at Steve's second words, he frowned a little bit. "Steve…maybe it would be a good thing to tell him eventually. I'd agree that maybe not know, when he's still adjusting to lots of things, but…"

Steve shook his head, "No, no. I can't– He can't know. This would fuck everything up between us, and our relationship is still…feeble, as of now." His eyebrows faintly drew together and his gaze flickered to the ground, "And…I've got my own shit to figure out because of…all this."

"Steve, you know there's nothing…wrong with being gay, right? Or bi? Or whatever you are?" his mouth twitched in a faint smile.

"Yeah, I know." Steve sighed, slowly with a nod and a now travelling gaze; he couldn't look him in the eye. "I know…there's nothing wrong with it but it just– It feels wrong. And it feels right, too. It feels so right, even though 'it' is nonexistent between us."

Tony smiled slightly, and nodded. "Steve, there is nothing wrong with it. Just…I don't know, man." he rubbed his face with a hand.

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head, "I know, but I– I just shouldn't feel these things for him; it just makes things harder. Things have been hard enough."

"You're allowed to feel things for him, Steve. Hell, the way he acts sometimes…I don't want to start anything, but…I think it's plausible that he might feel the same way about you, Steve. He just…he might not realize it yet."

Steve swallowed, "No, no. That's not…" He shook his head dismissively, trying to get rid of what he pictured, "No, you don't know him. He…He likes girls."

"Yeah? And he'd say the same of you." Tony countered, raising his eyebrows slightly at Steve. "So that's not really a solid argument."