Oof, pretty much my dad @ me on a daily basis tho.

so I just had a conversation with my mom
and I feel like it was the closest thing to a real conversation we've had in a long time.
to make things better
it was about ptsd and my dad {which is also where most to all of my ptsd comes from}
and that already had my emotions flowing a lot
and then she brought up {in a completely neutral way, I can't tell if she likes this or not} how much I've changed in the last 6+ months.
she's right
and for some reason that just made me feel something
I mean
I have changed
A lot
Like, not your typical 'I'm a teenager going through phases' thing
But like
A lot
And I can't tell if it's for better or for worse.

I made a list of very basic things that have changed about me physically, mentally, etc. but it was so long lmao telll me if I should post it

I know I've changed.
A lot.
But having someone else point it out {even in a neutral way} reminded me of my fear that everything I'm doing is wrong.
And god, I'm terrified.

hey mir- not everything you're doing is wrong, 'kay? look- you're posting this vent on nb, which allows us to be there for you if you need us. that's not wrong

You can post the list if you’d like.

I mean, let's start with appearance wise: Cut all my hair off into a pixie, bleached it and dyed it blue. Started wearing more makeup {and by more I mean eyeliner. I barely wear anything lmao} and doing so confidently. Started dressing in all black {and my style is one of my favorite things about myself lmao, so the black will not be leaving.} Realized I didn't have to hide my body or show off the features I was insecure about {i.e. stomach, chest, hips}, tried out different looks. Mentally: Antidepressants. Really got happier. Got more social. Anxiety who? Found some confidence. Started understanding my diagnosises. Socially/Etc.: Spoke out about my religious beliefs compared to my family's. Came out. Started talking to people. Realized I can get rid of toxic people. Got rid of my best friend for being toxic, lost some other people, and found new ones. And so, so, sooo much more.

tldr: Changed hair a ton, found my aesthetic/style, got better mental health treatment, cut out toxic friends and built a new group, Prozac.

I'm proud of you <3

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

Cool, cool. I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

I'm proud of you <3

I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

.
Don't cry
Thank you.
So much.

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

i missed it

I'm proud of you <3

I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

.
Don't cry
Thank you.
So much.

‘Gotchur back, Miri.

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

I'm so proud of you, Miri dearie! Those are very excellent changes and I'm happy that you as a person were strong enough to make them! You're awesome!

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

more like
(:',<

that's my attempt at my ungodly three inch long wings

I'm so proud of you, Miri dearie! Those are very excellent changes and I'm happy that you as a person were strong enough to make them! You're awesome!

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

more like
(:',<

that's my attempt at my ungodly three inch long wings

lmfao you were rocking it

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

And then we were like, Who are you? Lol.

I still haven't gotten my video of Dom and I'm angryy

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

And then we were like, Who are you? Lol.

Lolll I guess that's the price I pay for only posting pics where I'm either a goblin or Victor Frankenstein.
Maybe I'll post a Holden Caulfield one soon ;)

I still haven't gotten my video of Dom and I'm angryy

Yeah it’s too long to send.

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

And then we were like, Who are you? Lol.

Lolll I guess that's the price I pay for only posting pics where I'm either a goblin or Victor Frankenstein.
Maybe I'll post a Holden Caulfield one soon ;)

Cool.

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

And then we were like, Who are you? Lol.

Lolll I guess that's the price I pay for only posting pics where I'm either a goblin or Victor Frankenstein.
Maybe I'll post a Holden Caulfield one soon ;)

Cool.

I've got my dumb little hat and my semi-prominent grey shadows under my eyes, I'm ready to go lol

we also got to hear Dom sing :DDDDDDDDD

THAT'S SO UNFAIR!

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

more like
(:',<

that's my attempt at my ungodly three inch long wings

lmfao you were rocking it

I agree

If y'all want to hear a really good song, try Across The Vast, Eternal Sky.

D:< I am a very angry pickle

Hi very angry pickle, I'm

not a doctor.

Bet you thought I'd say dad, ha!
Bamboozled.
I'm very overtired rn lol