I've been having so many weird moments recently of like "oh my god. I exist and I have a body and a face and other people look at me and they see me and they see my face all the time." And its very annoying and infuriating that I keep realizing this cause like. Duh. Yeah thats a thing now lets get over it and move on with our lives. But then the other part of me is like "oh my god. Oh my god thats so weird and scary and freaky". I feel like my brain is either panicking slightly or exasperated with myself rn. I would like whatever this crisis is to stop please.
We got two of our pieces for our next concert and I'm really excited. I didn't get to play piccolo the past concert, but there's a piccolo part on both of them. I haven't seen the third one yet or our combined piece with the other band, but I'm already happy
I keep feeling possessive T-T
I want a girlfrienddddddddddd ugh
I've been having so many weird moments recently of like "oh my god. I exist and I have a body and a face and other people look at me and they see me and they see my face all the time." And its very annoying and infuriating that I keep realizing this cause like. Duh. Yeah thats a thing now lets get over it and move on with our lives. But then the other part of me is like "oh my god. Oh my god thats so weird and scary and freaky". I feel like my brain is either panicking slightly or exasperated with myself rn. I would like whatever this crisis is to stop please.
SAME THO
I just keep forgetting that real life is, you know, real and not just some secondary illusion that just kind of exists outside my brain
And so every time I jump back to it I just start freaking out like "oh gOD I EXIST AND EVERYTHING'S SO tHREE DIMENSIONAL WHICH IS WEIRD" and then it's like "duh, of course, i've been here for 14 years, it's always like this" but then i start freaking out again cause "oh gOD I'VE BEEN HERE FOR 14 YEARS" and it just repeats the cycle until I start freak out so hard that I zone out into the infinite void not to see earth for another week
That’s just life In a nutshell right there
Also memory’s are a mystery to me they happen in first person then you view them in your head and they’re suddenly third person
Aaaaand my school closed
We're still doing online courses
My school's probably going to close, my teacher gave me the next 3 units' worth of assignments just in case.
Apparently my march break is three times longer due to corona virus concerns now so WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
But this also means less notebook so BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I guess the governor closed all the schools in Ohio until April 3 so um okay
My school's probably going to close, my teacher gave me the next 3 units' worth of assignments just in case.
Our teachers have sent out those emails that say "DO NOT PANIC but we might all die close school"
The only reason I don't like this is because I don't want to have to stay of notebook for that long.
I just spent hours creating a holo glitter brush from scratch that i'll never end up using but my goshness it's beautiful
I've been having so many weird moments recently of like "oh my god. I exist and I have a body and a face and other people look at me and they see me and they see my face all the time."
I don't really see your face. Which might be obvious.
We're out of school until April 13. Literally a month.
I've been having so many weird moments recently of like "oh my god. I exist and I have a body and a face and other people look at me and they see me and they see my face all the time."
I don't really see your face. Which might be obvious.
Good. All interactions should be more like internet interactions. No one look at my face. I don't need people to have confirmation that I exist.
My school's probably going to close, my teacher gave me the next 3 units' worth of assignments just in case.
Our teachers have sent out those emails that say "DO NOT PANIC but we might all die close school"
Didn't the governor ban all gathers of over 250 people? My school is really big though, so I won't be surprised if it gets cancelled.
another update: i have to work tonight. i can barely walk and i literally just got out of bed. my brother came over and when i wasn't asleep, he was crying. i hate seeing him like that and he was crying because of the state i'm in (i asked him and i am an empath so… im not making that up i promse.)
i just want death honestly…
I'm sorry, Ruby.
i’m just fucking over this honestly. and i know it’s my own fault for getting in this state so…
It probably isn't though.
It probably isn't though.
it’s because of my actions that my blood got poisoned. my actions and my actions only…
I think I'm going to break up with my girlfriend
If you're willing to tell.
I don't like being two hours apart, but for some reason the idea of getting together irl again exhausts me. I also don't really think I'm in the right headspace for a relationship right now. But I'm scared, because I feel like if I break up with her, I'll immediately realize I was wrong.
Although typing it out it feels more right
Ai. I've never broken up with someone, so… I'm useless lmao.
Dear girl in my spanish class,
Thank you for coming to school after you knew that you were exposed to Covid-19 and exposing all of us to the virus as well. I definitely needed to bring that home to my entire 9 person strong family and expose all of them to it.
Sincerely Rachel.
In all seriousness though. The virus doesn't scare me, because I might die from it. That's unlikely. What I am worried about is possibly exposing my sisters who have lung problems and have weaker immune systems.
This has been a wonderful week.
i too, have never had a break up
but it's probably best to be as honest as possible about how you're feeling
but maybe we should wait to see what someone with actual experience says-
