forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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“Emi you might just be a lesbian”
“STOP IT LENA”

"americans are crazy rifle cheeseburger idiots"

“Emi you might just be a lesbian”
“STOP IT LENA”

My friends @ me if me only like women, then why joe walker? huh? huh??

"Procrastination's a bitch."
"Well. MJ. You had days to do your assignments and you wait until the day before they're due to do them so procrastination's not the bitch."
"… I'm a bitch."
"There we go."

Just eating sounds
"Reed wtf are you doing???"
"Munch crunching my way to hell. I'll get there eventually."

my history teacher: "hey, will you write these page numbers on the board?"
kid: "sure" looks for marker "there's no marker-"
teacher: "hmm.. that's gonna be a little more difficult, you're gonna have to write it in blood."

"Okay but like, Antigone and Haemon? Lowkey a power couple." - Random kid from Comp class

My friends: Talking
Me: Walks up to my platonic wife and bonks her head with mine

Me to a guy who has been lowkey following me: Um, you do realize I'm going into the girl's bathroom, and you have to stop following me now?
Him: Oh, well have fun.
Me -thinks to self: Have fun in the bathroom??? HMMM…

"GIVE ME CHICKEN NUGGETS. I AM BATBOY"

"don't take my avocado-"

“Where is Montana?”
“Montana…?”
“You know, like what state is it in?”
“Montana… is a state…?”
“Oh that’s right. I was mixing up Montana with Michigan.”

"Hey God, can you smite my mom?"
"I can beat her up."

"i want to legally commit arson"

"i don't know who or what sonic is but i do NOT like the idea of a blue hedgehog running around in a pair of sneakers"

FRIEND: "Today we got a new set of vocab words and one of them was arson and I immedietly thought of you, MJ."
ME: "Whelp, I'm just your friendly neighborhood arsonist."
RANDOM KID WHO OVERHEARD US: "… the flippity fruit snack??"

"i want to eat his sneakers"

My band director told us this before we went on spring break
"Guys, please, please, PLEASE, bring your instruments home over the break, we might have quarantine part 2 and it'll be just as bad as the last 3 star wars movies"

Mfndbshsjb why does that sound like something my band director would say

"Listen, sure it's technicly gaslighting, but I'm doing it, so it's fun, sexy, dramatic!"

"Sir, just because your sister's literally God doesn't mean you can just kill children."

"never trust what she says, because god knows she's gonna commit arson in a few years."
"i'm right here-"
"okay, but she probably is."
"I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS HERE :(((("

[during a lockdown drill]
"So if a shooter walks in, I'll attack 'em with (Jeff's) crutch."
"That's neat cuz' I got scissors and a broken foot."
"(Jeff). No. You can't handle this. You're crippled."
"Fine. I guess MJ's our backup."
"I got a skill set."
"As in arson?"
"I was gonna say ametaur knife throwing but that works too."

"it's so pretty and it's so fun, but I can't play it."

"Yeah whatever flutes, keep doing your thing"

"LOW BRASS!"

"there's treasure in our heads!
"no, that's sand"

"Two homies in bed, watching love or host, maybe they'll kiss"
~~
"The sexual tension between someone who's confessed having a crush on you and you being aromantic while laying in bed together"

"My braincells are getting a divorce"

"YOu LoOk lIKE A sLIgHTly DAMAgEd MiNEcraFT aNviL."

"The worst part about this pandemic is that with the masks on, I can't pog."

Context: All of these are directed at the ghosts of two children
"So, how'd you die?"
gestures at skeletons "These yours?"
"Get well soon!"
"How long did it take you to starve to death?"

"And you hear chanting down the hall-"
collective ooga-chakas
"Nobody is hooked on a feeling."