forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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me: -walking past some 6th graders-
some random kid: com'n bro, hurry up, I'm hungry as a butt cheek
me -gives weird look-

My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!

My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!

I'm from New Zealand

My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!

I'm from New Zealand

Would you mind confirming for her that it is not, in fact, a five hour drive from America?

My sister: Did they say New Zealand?
My dad: No. I'm not sure where they are but it's not New Zealand.
Me: I mean, I would've thought that was obvious from the way they drove five hours to somewhere else in the U.S.
My sister: Well I don't know where New Zealand is!

I'm from New Zealand

Would you mind confirming for her that it is not, in fact, a five hour drive from America?

Definitely not! We are three islands next to Australia.

Me, pointing a water gun at my cat (after chasing her off the table): Stand down!
My cat: walks forward
Me: I SAID STAND DOWN! shoots water in my cat's face

Me: hey you lil pISS BABY–
My entire family: What's wrong with you

"BE GAY DO CRIME! but six feet apart, stay safe."

"We need some hand sanditizer."

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)

(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)

"You can't spell 'Luffy' without 'Illiterate'"
"what?"

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)

(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)

(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)

(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)

(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)

(Oh, that makes sense now.)

Me: Happy Birthday, bitch.
Wall: It's not my birthday.
Me: …
Wall: …
Me: Then Merry Unbirthday, bitch.

(I'm so lonely. 😢)

(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, IVY, YOU ARE THE SPECIAL BIRTHDAY [DEMONETIZED]—)

(I'm confused. What's demonetized?)

(Oh it's just a thing I say to censor stuff. It's like how a YouTube video might get demonetized if it has inappropriate content, meaning they won't put ads on the video)

(Oh, that makes sense now.)

(It was also a reference to this song)

So, we were playing Minecraft with our science teacher. He has absolutely no idea how to do anything.
Mr.M: Whoever killed me is failing this class

Me: Kills him
Me: Sorry, have a door as an apology.
Him: Hits me with the door YOU HAVE GIVEN ME A WEAPON
Me: Kills him Not today Satan

"Ben is going to JFK me with his piss."

"Ben is going to JFK me with his piss."

This made me laugh way more than I should have

"I hate Olive Garden." *gasping from other students* "Yeah! Fight me! I make better spaghetti than Olive Garden!"

"Your possessions, wench."

• Me, to my friend after carrying their bags

"But my kneecaps got to be worth something on the black market"

• Me, to my friends when convincing them to go to comic-con

"Don't. Touch. My. CORN!"

"Do we talk about being gay too much? Are we proving somebody's point?"
"No."

"I think Lady M*cbeth already got unsexed."

"Shots fired"

• Some kid in my science class after watching a water buffalo charge at a herd of lions

My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.

My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.

nOooooO-

"He's my boyfriend."
A random girl, talking about me, in front of me, in 8th grade

(DON'T ASK)

My friends are calling me "Zelda" to spite me. I came to school dressed as Link.

nOooooO-

Update: In between classes three people called me Zelda. Unironically.