forum Glitches // OxO // Closed

Started November 27, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Nyx nodded a little bit. "Well that's… depressing." He commented slowly, studying Jude for a moment, then looking at the paintings again.

Jude shrugged, "Not all of it is, though. Where there's death, there has to be life, like in the paintings we just saw." He put his hands in his pockets, looking over at the next one, "There's always something to oppose death in these types of scenes; luxurious and drunken banquets, taverns full of life, people grinning in their company. It's a balance."

Nyx shrugged a little bit. "Yeah, but still. It's a little depressing." he replied, examining the different paintings. He stuck close to Jude, though, not wanting to get lost.

"Hm? Why do you say that?" Jude asked curiously, wanting to hear what he had to say about one of his favourite topics.

"The only thing they could think of to paint was death and different representations? Why not life and other things instead?" Nyx shrugged again. "I don't know."

"It wasn't the only thing," Jude said, "They also painted lively scenes– like this one," He pointed to a painting of a young couple laughing together. "They're happy; it's joyful scene, even though the lighting makes it a bit ominous."

Nyx nodded a little bit, looking at the painting. He shrugged slightly. "Still. It's ominous. It's not just happy and carefree and lovely"

Jude liked the way Nyx thought paintings should be, even if he was half-wrong. "Not everything can be that way, in art." He sighed, "Sometimes, it's good to see death in little ways like this. It keeps us humble and more importantly– reminds us to…treasure what we have."

Nyx shrugged a little bit. "Yes, but it also can weigh you down. Paintings of good things would be a reminder to…to keep your head up, because there's better stuff ahead."

"That's true." Jude nodded, tilting his head at the paintings they walked by, "But then you'd be ignoring a whole other side of the world. Art has to be honest, and showing the bad is necessary sometimes."

"Yeah, but…" Nyx shrugged. "I don't know." He gave a slight smile, shaking his head after a moment.

"No one knows, really." Jude smiled, touching Nyx's hand as if it were the most casual thing in the world. He forgot himself and retracted his hand, returning it to his pocket's with an apologetic smile. This is gonna be a lot harder than I thought. Jude sighed, "–Yeah, it's all over the place, but that's what makes it so great."

Nyx blinked at the touch, inhaling. God, I want him to be able to kiss and touch and love me. He thought. He closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head a little.

Jude noticed Nyx's reaction to his touch, yeah, won't do that again. He didn't say anything about it but couldn't help but feel disappointed as he turned to another painting, "I wish things were different."

Nyx glanced at him. "Yeah, well they aren't." He replied, shaking his head slightly. He didn't know how to fix things. He didn't know if there was some magical words he could say that would make Jude able to love him without it being bad for him.

"We could negotiate it?" He shrugged hopefully, knowing fully that it wasn't negotiable, but if they maybe talked about it some more…
"What if there was another way? If we found one– another way that would work?" Jude bit his lip, "I don't know what I'm saying. Sorry."

Nyx shook his head a little bit. "Jude, I…" He bit his lip. "I don't think that would work. You…I…" God, he wanted there to be a way to do it. A way for them to be together, to mean something more to each other.

"You're right." Jude chuckled nervously, "I'm just– rambling, yeah. We shouldn't talk about it." He leaned against a gold railing of the short hall, muttering, "Even though…" Jude shook his head, trying to scatter those thoughts to someplace else. He looked down, "Sorry."

Nyx swallowed hard. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You just…" he shook his head quickly. "Let's just keep looking around, yeah?" he said softly, looking ahead at the paintings on the walls.

Jude nodded in quiet agreement, feeling the energy from before slip away. He admired the works with Nyx, a neutral smile frozen on his face while his mind ran their own scripts; like he was trying to make sense of an encrypted file.

Nyx stayed near Jude. Why does it have to be like this? All I want is to hold your hand and be loved and kiss you like there's no tomorrow. I want you to be part of my future. He wished he could say that. He really did. But he knew he shouldn't.

"Hm," Jude said, his mind blank and not even hearing himself, "What do you think of this one?" This is my fault– he's hurting just cause of how fucked up I am. He hasn't even properly met anyone else and you're already making him feel like this? Why do you wreck everything you touch?

Nyx blinked, looking at the painting. "It's…It's nice." he replied faintly. He ran a hand through his hair, glancing at Jude for a moment, then back at the painting. Kiss me, please. He wanted to say that so badly. Wanted to tug Jude close and– no. He couldn't. He shouldn't.

"Hm, yeah." Jude swallowed, the words coming out of him like an automatic commentary, "The lighting is nice– lemon peels were a common thing to paint for still lifes in this period." He felt like banging his head against a wall, then, maybe I'll stop plotting against myself. It wasn't supposed to be this way, he knew, having feelings for someone who felt the same about you shouldn't be a taxing thing…but it was draining.

"Why? Why lemon peels, of all things?" Nyx asked, raising an eyebrow curiously. He glanced over at Jude for a moment, then at the painting again.

Jude frowned, trying to recall what his teacher had told them in their still life studies, "The lemon’s the most realistic piece of fruit, I think. It looks juicy, like you can taste it." He shrugged, chuckling at the piece, "I'm not completely sure. I guess it's just one of those things."

(I gtg to bed soon, btw)

Nyx laughed a little. "Yeah, I guess. Who likes the taste of lemons, though?" he arched an eyebrow at Jude, shaking his head a little bit. He gave a soft smile, though.

(yeah me too~ happy new year again!!)

Jude shrugged, quietly wanting to kiss Nyx's little smile, "There are lemons in, like, Greece, I think, where you can eat them whole. The peel and everything, it's weird," He chuckled, glancing at the painting and another similar one next to it.

Nyx raised an eyebrow. "That's terrifying." He replied with a laugh, following Jude through the store. He gave a small smile.

Jude smiled at the sight of Nyx’s laugh, wandering absentmindedly through the museum.
“Yeah,” He shrugged, “But I heard it’s supposed to be really healthy, and I would imagine it tastes good. —Maybe you can add that to your bucket list.”