Steve laughed, taking it as a casual joke "Yeah, yeah," He shrugged, "I guess it does fit me, but I've got a whole list to go through, so you just watch as I label myself as a hundred other things before the week ends." Sam, Steve thought, He probably has no idea. Which, could be a good thing, he knew, but realized that it was going to be a little harder to explain and tell him, much more complicated then 'on your left.'
(arrghh I'm watching "Iron Man" right now and…I just about started crying multiple times…because NOOO TONYYY)
Bucky nodded a little. He sighed softly, and raked his hand through his hair. That hadn't quite been what he meant, but he didn't want to try to correct Steve or himself. That would just leave to trouble, most likely.
(oh thats whack– dont cry noo, i found this pirating website and i watched cap america the first avgr, and the winter soldier and lots more for free ~)
Steve sighed, glancing at the menu, "Anyway, what are you feeling on here? For breakfast." He studied the reflective page, turning it over and scanning through for anything that'd catch his eye.
(yeah… i won't but i wanna ooh nice!)
Bucky looked at the menu after a moment. "Oh. Right. Uhm…" he shrugged a little, and looked through the menu. "Eggs, maybe." he replied, concentrating on the menu. "What…what are you getting?"
Steve nodded, staring at the menu, "Anything, with bacon." He marvelled, remembering how long it'd been since he had it. "It's been years– even before the war. Wow." Steve continued reading the extensive menu, which seemed to go on forever. "Coffee, too, I guess." Rosie, the waitress, skipped over to them, wishing them a good morning, and if they were ready to order.
(Rosie should totally ask if they're dating or a couple or something)
Bucky nodded a little at Steve. He looked up as Rosie came over, muscles coiling and ready for a fight, before he realized that it was only the waitress, and he relaxed a little bit again. He looked at Steve. Were they ready to order? He didn't know.
Rosie smiled warmly at Steve, her blonde hair in a ponytail bouncing as she made small talk. "And Steve…" She looked at him sideways, smiling, "I didn't know you were seeing someone," Rosie whispered, eyes flickering back to Bucky, and nodded, giving him a thumbs up. Steve's smile dissolved and laughed nervously. That was a joke, right? No? Oh-
"Wh-No, I, what? Ha- I," He stuttered, shaking his head lightly as if he could shake his blush away, and hoping Bucky hadn't heard. "-These pancakes…" Steve said, pointing to a random picture on the menu.
Bucky blinked at the nod and thumbs up, cocking his head slightly. He hadn't heard Rosie's comment, but was now wondering what exactly the blonde waitress had said. He looked down at his own menu, glancing at what Steve had picked out. He himself was getting eggs, he decided.
"Yes..pancakes," Steve decided, smiling at the giggling waitress. "Witch bacon, please." He added. Rosie nodded, scribbling down his order, "Coffee?" She prompted, "Sure," Steve answered.
"And you?" Rosie asked Bucky, smiling, "What could I get you?"
Bucky looked up at her. "Oh. I'll have just some eggs." he replied, running a hand through his hair. "And…some coffee too, I guess." he studied her for a long moment, unsure what else he was supposed to say. After all, he had lost all his memories. All he had now was…the swing dancing, and that one handler.
"Sure thing," Rosie nodded, "Would you like the eggs crambled?" She asked, observing Steve's 'friend.' His messy brown hair and rough stubble made it seem like he'd just walked off a stage of a rock concert. There was no denying that he was attractive, and…strangely familiar, but he shared the same troubled look that she'd seen on Steve. As if he had seen something not quite right– disturbing.
Bucky nodded a little. "Yes please." He replied, mustering up a small smile for the waitress. "Thank you." He shifted, hiding his left hand under his right, so that she couldn't see. He didn't know if he had appeared on the news in any way, and he didn't need to find out the hard way.
"You're very welcome," She nodded, smiling at Steve knowingly before she left to the kitchen. He smiled, turning back to Bucky. "So, yeah…After this, we can go to Stark Tower and get you set up. I'll be staying there too for some time, just to keep you company and answer any questions Tony and company might have."
Bucky nodded a little. "Alright." he replied, tugging on his left sleeve. "Uhm…thank you." he added the two words after a moment of thinking. He sighed softly, unsure what to do or say, or where to look in the room. This was all new territory to him. He had no idea at all of what he was supposed to be doing.
Steve sighed, watching Bucky's eyes flicker around like he was lost in a new world. "Yeah– it's a little much at first." He said, nodding understandingly, "They tried to trick me; with a fake room and an old recording of a baseball game. Not the best way..but it was just… a lot."
Bucky glanced at him again, and nodded a little. "Yes. But…you have all your memories. I…do not." he knew that that wasn't not a great thing. Not at all. The memory of his handler flashed through his head again, their hands in his hair, down his chest- he closed his eyes, trying to block it out.
"I know," Steve said, slowly, and I wish I could change that, "But, I feel your..exhaustion I guess. I know what it's like to be in a world– alone, and confused, to an extent." He looked down, remembering his thundering pulse as he'd been met with the masses of a crowd and flashing billboards surrounding him. "But you don't have to go through it alone."
"Yes." Bucky said simply. "But…" he frowned a little. "Irregardless of whether or not I have you, I am still alone." he gave a slight shrug. Alone because he was the only one that could see his memories. Alone, because he didn't know what he would remember, because it was not like Steve could have been there for every second of his life.
"What?" Steve questioned, "No, you're not alone." He shook his head, "You aren't alone– not anymore. I'm here. You don't have to go through all this pain or disorder by yourself. Share it with me, and we'll go through it together." At the veteran's support group he used to go to, they were encouraged to speak up about the experiences through war– 'sharing the pain,' is what they called it, and Steve knew that Bucky was going through a time of confusion and…retreat, it seemed, and this could be the first step towards healing.
Bucky snorted softly. "I don't want to." he replied finally. "Whatever's in my head…it's not something you want to know about." His handler with their hands everywhere and he couldn't say no to them, god he couldn't do anything but lie still and hope it would be over soon and hope they would stop and- He took a deep breath, raking his hand through his hair.
"Well, I can't help it if you won't tell me," Steve said, fiddling with his hands under the table, "But as for what you're feeling, or remembering– I do. I want to know. We've both had a good share of pain in our life, and the way I see it is that the only way we can really grow and move on from those times, is to share it with each other." He nodded,
"So, yes, all of your pain– I want to know about it. Because I care about you, and I don't want you to have it."
Bucky looked down at the table, shaking his head a little bit. "Steve. You don't want to know." he replied firmly, pushing away the memory that kept trying to resurface. Of all of them, why did it have to be that one? That one, the one that he really, really didn't want.
"I want to. How do you know what I want?" Steve persisted, taking care to not cause a scene. "Our past is the one thing that we have left of each other– and it's all we'll ever have, for now. Whatever it is, I want to know. You may not be ready to tell me– but just know I'm here, and I won't leave. I won't let you fall again." Steve nodded softly, forcing himself to meet Bucky's eyes; the same ones that had slipped from his grasp and into a wintery abyss, one that wasn't death.
Bucky's fists clenched for a moment, and he looked away, his blue eyes pained and distant. "I don't want to tell you." he replied after a moment. "It isn't your business anymore. We may have been friends once, but i don't remember any of that. Stop asking me to blindly trust you." his voice was cold. Shut off.
Steve's bottom jaw almost hit the floor, What? It was like that, then.
"I–" Steve stuttered, at a loss for words. He had just been vulnerable; something really hard to be around someone you cared for so deeply but didn't really know anymore. "Okay, then." He said quietly, shifting his focus someplace else.
Thankfully, Rosie had walked back to their table with breakfast. "Enjoy," She smiled, placing their meals down and immediately noticed their change of energy.
Bucky didn't look at Steve, his attention focused on the table. He looked up when Rosie came back, mustering up a tight smile. "Thank you." he said, taking his plate and picking the fork up. He kept his left hand hidden in the shadows, his eyebrows pushed together. He didn't quite know what else to say.
(should we timeskip to a car whirring to the diner to pick them up? idk)
(yeah sure. Want me to do it, or do you want to?)
(you can do if u like– tony or someone :)
(alright)
Tony pulled up in front of the diner, and peeked inside. He called Steve, putting the phone to his ear. "Steve? I'm here to pick you and the assassin up." He said when Steve answered.
Bucky was silent. He had finished up his food a little while ago, and was trying to ignore Steve. He didn't know what to say or do or anything.