forum I summon @Everwolf to the field and with this card I can role play and more

Started June 25, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Eclipse whined softly in his sleep, stillable to smell the cigarette smoke.

“I want to…” Saayan slid his finger down Eclipse’s chest and then his lips, “so badly.” He rolled his eyes and flopped next to him. “But you’re so fucking fragile. I have needs you know. I want to be able to kiss my boyfriend without looking some monster! I need you so much. Have you ever though that I would want to held once In a while. Maybe I would like to cry because I’m frustrated. Nope, you don’t! I have to stay strong for you. So, you have someone to rely on, all I am is your shoulder to cry on. That’s what you think off me. The worst part is. I have a life. A job, that I can get fired from and we could be living homeless soon. I’m the chief, but what do you care. I can’t leave you alone for one second before you start crying. Jeez, such a cry baby. Why are you so scared all the time. I get it you have a sad past, well guess what buddy, we all have shitty lives. Everyone in the whole had a messed up past some even worse than you! Shit!”

Eclipse had woken up about halfway through the other's loud ranting, and was scared of what he'd heard. He stayed perfectly still, his breathing surprisingly even, though it was all due to the practice he'd had as a kid. Though it was barely enough for him to keep from crying.

He looked down as his eyes widened. “Eclipse…I…puppy, I’m sorry don’t-don’t look at me like that. I’m frustrated okay…I’m sorry,” he said softly.

Eclipse whimpered softly and rolled away from him, curling up into a tiny, terrified ball of negative emotions at the other end of the bed, trembling a little bit. He felt betrayed. Yes, he knew he was asking a lot of Saayan, he knew he was hurting the other. But he didn't know how to stop, He didn't know how to stop hurting himself either. And his childhood wasn't just messed up. He grew up among people who beat him multiple times a day just for existance, Toldhe was weak and worthless multiple times a day. Crybaby was also another common one.
Taking a deep breath he shut his eyes tightly, not wanting to deal with his world anymore, forcing himself notto cry, pushing everything down. He'd prove he wasnt a crybaby, somehow.

“Eclipse, listen to me…I’m sorry…don’t do this,” Saayan touched Eclipse’s shoulder.

Eclipse flinched back so fast he fell of the bed, immediately scrambling back against the wall. He didn't wanna be hurt again, not like before. He curled in on himself, trying to stay calm as his mind raced. "I-I'm sorry..>" he whimpered softly, "H-Hurt you.." he seemed smaller than ever as he pressed himself into the wall, terrified.

He leaned down and sat on the floor. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I-I-I-I-I never meant to hurt you,” he stuttered like crazy trying to reach Eclipse.

Eclipse flinched back, pressing against the wall as if he could go through it. "Don't hurt me.."he whimpered, "Not like them… please not like them…." he was about ready to cry.

“No, I won’t hurt you. Just listen my voice okay? Close your eyes and listen to my voice. I am frustrated, I am mad at those Hunters, I am sad because you look at me like I am so some kind of monster, I am happy that you’re back to normal, and I am in love despite everything. I will always be in love with you and you alone. I will never ever ever do anything to hurt you a porpoise. Yes, I get angry and frustrated and emotional, but it’s not you it’s me. I have been keeping my thoughts in forever now. I don’t know when the last time I came free from my thoughts and I’m sorry I took this all out of you…” he moved closer.

Eclipse had done ashe asked, but was still trembling a little with old fears, and bottled up tears. He felt like he was falling apart again, like nothing would be okay. First he got sick, then the hunter… they… he couldn't even think it. And now his father had it out for him. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't. And on top of it all he was hurting the one person keeping him together. He was hurting Saayan. And that hurt worst of all.

“Cry. I know you want to. Let me hold you, please. Let me hold my boyfriend, that I love to much. Please, just look at me and try to tell me that I don’t strike fear into. I need you to tell me that,” Saayan held Eclipse’s hands.

Eclipse almost pulled away when the other held his hands, tense and shivering. He didn't wanna be called a crybaby again. He knew he wasn't, he wasn't weak….. the words echoed in his head, as he crumbled into Saayan's arms.

“Even the strongest people can cry. Hell, I cry all the time in the shower, at work, when you’re asleep. It’s okay to cry because that’s a way to say, ‘Hey even though I cry I push through it. Crying is a way to make me stronger.’ I’m not calling you a crybaby just don’t hold so many emotions inside you. It’s not fair for you, your wolf side, and your health,” he whispered and kissed Eclipse’s head. “When I was yelled and saying all those things about you it was only because I need to let everything out of my system. I didn’t mean half of the things I said. Yes, those things were true, but that wasn’t an excuse to hurt you like that. That’s what you should do. Tell me things that you’ve been keeping inside. Tell me everything.”

"D-Don't know how…" he whimpered, breaking into another round of sobs, confused, hurt and an emotional wreck. "I-I'm sorry…." he was shaking now, unable to even look at Saayan, knowing he was being pathetic. "I-I just want to feel safe again…." he whispered, trying to breath properly through tears and wracking sobs. "W-Why can't I just b-be a normal hu-human like-like you??"

“You were born this way and you should embrace it. Don’t hide things like that. I know you hate yourself, but the more you do you get one step closer to breaking completely and you won’t be able to come back from that. You have nothing to be sorry about. If it’s about the things I said, I hope you know I didn’t mean it. I’m high, I don’t mean most of the the things I said. So, all I want is your forgiveness. Nothing else, nothing more. Well, maybe a little love in there too,” Saayan gave a light chuckle. “So, look at me.”

Eclipse let out a soft whimper, "N-No.." he said softly, pulling his hands away. Though it wasn't necessarily towards Saayan, more towards the moonlight filling the room from the window.

"Eclipse please, I just need you to look at me. Please, I just want to see you. Please…let me," Saayan said softly,

Eclipse shook his head, shrinking back against the wall. He wanted to be held, he really did. But he didn't want to be the reason the other was hurting. "Wh-Why do you-you still care?" he asked between harsh sobs.

"Because I love you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me! Look at me so I can hold you close and make you warm. So, we can laugh, kiss, cry, and get mad together. Please, just one thing. I want to know that you don't see me as a bad person tell me that I'm still the same guy you fell in love with all those years. Because to me, you're still the same guy that I fell in love with, that stole my heart, made me head over heels for, and the guy that I would die for. Please…"

Eclipse finally moved, scooting over to Saayan, and curling up against his chest, crying. His already thin frame was trembling so much he might actually fall apart. "I-I'm sorry…" he sobbed.

"Don't say sorry, just look at me," Saayan said softly when tears started to flow. "I just need you to look at me. In the eyes and tell me you love me."

Eclipse slowly looked up at him, his eyes revealing just how fractured he was deep down, but there was still love there. "I-I do love you.." he said softly, clutching his shirt.

“I love you too,” Saayan smiled letting more tears fall. “I’m so sorry, for what I said,” he sobbed wrapped his arms around Eclipse hugging him tight.

Eclipse melted into his grasp, trembling and crying as he buried his face in the other's chest.

“I love you so much. I need you just as much as you need me. Okay?” He shut his eyes tight.

Eclipse nodded, crying so hard he couldn't fform the words.

“How about we clean up and get back on the bed, so we can get some sleep,” he gave a hard sniffle before bringing Eclipse of with him.

Eclipse clung to him as he moved, still crying into his shirt.

(Plot twist Saayan’s apart of the hunters…nahhhh I’m not doing that to him)
Although Saayan was happy he still cried as he placed him on the bed. “I love you, good night, again,” he kissed Eclipse forehead before getting up to change his shirt.