Tolly kissed the top of his head with a soft smile. "Make yourself comfortable, alright? I'm gonna go tell Levi I got back safe, and then we'll be good for the rest of the night. Unless he decides to come out and say hi." He paused, looking at one of the doors to the far left. There was a little green leaf painted on it. "He's probably gonna do that, actually. Is that alright?"
He hadn't realized that Levi was in the dorm until tolly mentioned it. He thought it odd being in the same room with the boy he had once liked and being with the boy he now loved. Cas nodded with a smil "yeah! It's fine! I don't mind." He took another sip of the tea and waited patiently in the little living room
Tolly smiled back at him, gave him a soft peck on the lips, and then left to say hi to Levi. There was some ruffling behind the closed door, a muffled conversation, and then a very disheveled Levi was walking out with Tolly in tow to greet Cadmus. "Hi," he said, muffling a yawn into his hand. "Nice to see you again Cas."
Cas glanced up at Levi mid-sip and nodded "Hey Levi. Nice to see you again too, sorry for waking you," he smiled sheepishly and gave a shy wave. He curled up on the couch and continued drinking the tea, feeing uncomfortable and out of place
Levi snorted, leaning heavily on Tolly when the movement made him lose his balance. Tolly laughed and was quickly shushed. "S'not a problem, always nice to see a friendly face." He smiled, and then he smacked Tolly on the back and wandered sleepily back into his room.
Tolly grinned after him, plopping down onto the couch to sit beside Cas. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You look uncomfortable."
He shrugged slightly and rested his head on his knees "I feel like I'm invaded yours and Levi's space. This place is for you, Lavi and Cait. I have no place here." He glanced off into the distance, sipping the tea occasionally
Tolly frowned, sliding a little closer and pulling Cas up into his lap. "Only because we haven't been dating for very long. I've known Lev and Cait my whole life, sweetheart, it's gonna take you a little time to catch up. What makes you feel like you don't belong?"
He shook his head, knowing tolly was right. "If you never took the potion, would we still be together?" He asked quietly holding his knees. He set the cup down and leaned into the couch, unable to meet Tolly's eyes
Tolly hummed softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of Cas' head as he pulled him closer. He didn't wanna brush over the concern, so he had to take a couple minutes to think things over. "Probably not, but only because I'd still be pining from afar. I would've asked you out eventually, it just would've taken longer."
He blushed softly and leaned into Tolly "r-really?" He glanced at tolly, embarrassed that he had only seen him as a friend before the potion. "I never knew…" He rested his head on tolly's chest and tried to form words "I'm sorry…."
Tolly nodded, face falling when Cas apologized. "Hey now, you don't have to say that. It's alright." He held Cas against his chest gently. "I'd been crushing on you for a while pre-potion, but I didn't… um… I didn't think you saw me as anything but a friend so I was trying to keep it off my mind."
"I saw you more than a friend but I thought it'd be unfair to both you and Levi if I were crushing on both of you at the same time." He leaned into Tolly and snuggled close to his chest "I love you Tolly. I always have and always will."
Tolly kissed the top of his head. "Well I think always is kind of a stretch, but I love you too. And I will for as long as you'll let me."
He hid his face into his chest feeling guilty because he knew Tolly was right. he hadn't always loved him, not fully as he did now, he had always thought of him as a good friend, sometimes further than that. It took the potion and him being around tolly to fully accept his feeling's for the other and dismiss the crush for levi that he always knew would never work out. He silently swore that he would would love Tolly as long as he was allowed to.
Tolly hugged him close, kissing the top of his head again as he shifted them both into a more comfortable position. "It's okay sweetheart. It took me a while to fall in love with you too, and I didn't even have another guy who I thought I might like." He pulled Cas' legs around his waist so they could stay close. "It's okay that you didn't love me all at once."
Cas clung to tolly as he shifted, blushing a bit at the position they were in "It feels unfair, that you had feelings for me and I was too oblivious to acknowledge them. That I'd still be oblivious to them if this never happened." He sighed softly and nudged his head into the crook of Tolly's neck "I'm a mess…"
"You're a college student, Cas. Nobody expects you to have everything figured out." His fingers ran up and down Cas' back comfortingly. "And I'm sure we would've figured ourselves out eventually. At the very least I would've worked up the guts to ask you out."
Cas stayed quiet for a bit, the only sound was Tolly's strong heartbeat pressed close to his ear. He sighed "you're right…" he said, glancing up at Tolly. "why would you be nervous about asking me out?" he asked, wanting to change the subject, sick of feeling terrible for not loving Tolly back before the potion.
Tolly shifted nervously, pulling Cas a little closer to him. "I dunno, I just… I really like you and you're really really cute. And I didn't want to ruin our friendship. We'd only been close for a couple months, I didn't wanna risk it. Not with you."
Cas nodded in understanding and ran a hand through Tolly's hair "Just so you know, I would have said yes, even if I liked another at the time. I'm pretty sure i wouldn't have the guts to turn you down." he offered a smile and kissed his nose
Tolly laughed and his smile was soft and bright as he tilted his head to kiss Cas back. "See? Even if the potion hadn't happened, we still would've ended up together. It's all good."
Cas realized Tolly was right and smiled wider. "Yeah, I guess we would have." He nuzzled tolly's cheek and pressed another kiss to his mouth "
Tolly kissed him back, spilling Cas across the couch so he could crawl on top of him and kiss him harder. "Life has a funny way of working out like that," he said, smiling and breathless as he pulled away.
Cas wrapped his arms around tolly's neck as they kissed, panting slightly as the other pulled away "yeah, It annoyingly does," he teased, pulling tolly closer so he could be warm
Tolly grinned, all but collapsing on top of Cas as he was yanked down. "Oh shut up, you love me. You'd be so sad if we never got together."
"I do love you and yes, I'd be devasted if we were never together, I don't think I'd be able to go on with life if I didn't have you." He laughed and nudged into Tolly's neck, pressing light kisses to his lips and neck
Tolly frowned, though he looked a little less troubled as he leaned into the onslaught of kisses. "Can we not talk like that? About… not being able to go on and stuff. 'Cause I'm sure you would, after a couple years of healing, but I.. I don't like thinking about it."
Cas blinked "I'm sorry, i-I didn't mean it like that, I just…don't think i'd live a very happy life without you." He gently stroked his cheek and offered a small smile. "I'm sorry, "
Tolly swallowed and nodded, leaning into the hand on his cheek with a happy sigh. "Alright," He murmured. "I know you didn't mean anything by it, it's just… sad. I don't wanna think about you going through something like that."
"then we won't, we'll just think of us now." He pulled tolly into a kiss, soft and tender.