forum This is stupid // OxO // Closed

Started July 25, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

"Oh…" Cas seemed a little worried. "W-Why? Why shouldn't you get to go to heaven too?"

"Casper, my dad kicked me out remember? Once you fall, that's that. No angel can ever come back."

"But you're a good guy… the best I know." Cas insisted. "You just made one misguided decision… they… you should be allowed to come back."

"I chose Berenice over everything else, knowing what she was. I can't come back from all that."

"People make mistakes! You shouldn't have to be held to a higher standard just because you're an angel!"

"You're right, I shouldn't but there's nothing I can do about it."

"That's dumb…" Cas hugged him tightly. "You deserve heaven more than anyone I know…"

"No… No I don't," he closed his eyes and savored his touch.

"You've done so much to help me, and you're protecting me from Berenice, and I love you so much…"

"Yeah, but I haven't done all good things while I was still with her."

Cas shrugged. "No one has done all good things."

He nodded. "Yeah… Yeah you're right."

"Even you and I haven't done all good things. That's just how it is. Good is also subjective, which is a whole new myriad of options."

"You don't seem like the type to do anything bad. Nothing to keep you out of heaven's gates."

Cas shrugged. "We're gay and we had sex. I thought that was up on the list of 'don'ts'."

Right. He sighed heavily and shook his head, burying his face into the palms of his hands. "Oh God, Cas… Hell's not good either."

"Eh… I dunno. You'd know better than me, I'm guessing. Maybe we'll be forgiven for being gay, who knows?"

"You might be. Things are completely different for me as an angel."

"Why's that? If I can be forgiven, you should be able to as well."

Sorin shook his head. "It's not that simple."

Cas still seemed confused. "But… it should be, shouldn't it? It's only fair, after all."

"If it were so simple, don't you think I would've gone back by now?" It came out harsher than he had intended, yet talking about his old home was sparking feelings he hadn't felt in a while.

Cas flinched at his tone. "I-I dunno… maybe you wanted to go back when you… you know… die?"

"Yeah, I do. But Casper I can't. I can't," his voice cracked as he began feeling frustrated. It hadn't bothered him all that much before though that was probably due to years of suppressing the topic. Now that they were talking about it, the old feeling of missing the place had returned.

"Well maybe I… w-when I die, I could… this sounded so much better in my head, um… I could like, try to convince them to let you come back?" He suggested weakly.

"How are you going to convince seven archangels and God to let me come back?"

"…Ask them very nicely?"

"Ask them… nicely? You're going to ask them nicely?"

"I don't know! I've never met God!" Cas sighed in exasperation before turning to the ceiling. "Hey, God! I'm pretty sure you can hear everything all the time or something, which is kinda unsettling, but whatever! Sorin's a good guy and you should let him come back!"

"I don't… I don't think that's going to work," Sorin said as he rubbed the back of his neck.