forum This is stupid // OxO // Closed

Started July 25, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

"B-Because being hated by everyone but one person feels pretty fucking bad sometimes…" He gripped his upper arms tightly, turning his head away from Sorin.

Sorin pried his hands away and pulled him into a hug. "Yeah… Yeah I get that Cas. Yet, they don't matter… don't let everyone get to you like that."

Cas nodded weakly. "P… P-Part of me knows their opinions don't matter, but the other part can't stand being hated…"

"I don't hate you…" he took glanced at him and held him firmly, "is that not enough?"

"It is! I-I'm not trying to say you're not good enough for me. You're far better than I deserve. I just have a hard time with people not liking me…"

"That's not your fault… I don't want you questioning your self worth when people dislike you. I get that it's hard not to but…"

"I know, I know… I'm sorry." Cas sighed, burying his face in Sorin's chest. "I think a lot of it was my dad…"

"Yeah, I… figured. I'm really sorry that you had to endure all of that…"

Cas shrugged. "It's not your fault… you've helped a lot, actually."

"It doesn't feel like it. I could always do… more."

"I suppose so, but that's not really a good mindset to have… you'll never be satisfied."

"It only motivates me to do the best… for you," Sorin pressed his lips on his temples.

"But then you never think you've done enough…" Cas leaned into the kiss, sighing.

"Well yeah… because I haven't."

"But you have. You've done so much, love."

"I mean… I guess. But just not enough. I want to give you so much more, Cas."

"What more could you even give me?"

"More clothes, maybe even more shoes. I could figure out better ways to teach you or even try to find a tutor… anything to make you happy."

"Baby… I don't need material things to be happy." Cas stood on his toes and kissed Sorin sweetly. "Just you."

He lowered his head and kissed the tip of his nose. "Are you sure about that?"

"Of course. I've told you before, love… all the gifts are nice, but all I really need is you."

A small part of him didn't understand, however he reminded himself that this wasn't Berenice– that Cas wasn't someone who was never satisfied with whatever he did for him. Sorin smiled broadly and kissed him gently.

"I love you, Sorin…" He murmured. "More than I could ever say… you're so precious to me, and you're all I need, baby."

"And I love you too, Cas…" he nuzzled his hair and held him tight.

Cas looked up at Sorin and sighed. "You're too fuckin' tall, I swear…"

"I mean, yeah, most angels are," he chuckled softly, "I'm actually one of the shortest in heaven."

"Really? Damn… I don't think I'd do well up there." Cas laughed. "I mean, obviously I hope to go to heaven, but you know… imagine me standing next to them. I'm already short enough beside you."

His smile faltered at the mention that he would die and would in fact go to heaven, though knew he wouldn't be able to see him.

"I know this is kinda a serious question, but… Do angels die?" He asked quietly. "And where do they go if they do?"

"We don't go anywhere. We just… disappear," he said the last part in almost a whisper as he let his arms fall to his sides.