Ayce shook his head. "Can't can't can't can't can't other people tried and he got rid of them he doesn't like it when people care he is insane and he says I'm the one whose mind is gone and maybe that's true now but the night is dark without any stars and the moon doesnt shine every night and…" He trailed off, shaking his head quickly. It was hard to tell exactly why the Fae was accentuating the word "he" every time he said it.
"Hey, shhh. I promise you that I'll protect you. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again okay? You're safe with me now." Nolan cooed. "Can you tell me who 'he' is? So I kmow who to keep you from?" Nolan never ceased the calm expression on hia face. Inside, he wasn't sure what to do. He had never been in this sort of situation before. He would just habe to stay calm and reassure Ayce.
Ayce made a soft sound in the back of his throat. "No…" He whispered. "I can't he doesn't want…" He bit his lip. "I-I…he's…" He stammered, not looking at Nolan. He shook his head quickly, dark hair falling into his face yet again. "I can't tell you i told someone else and they died because of me and it's my fault I didn't keep my mouth shut and I…" He kept shaking his head.
"Okay, okay. That's okay." Nolan brushed Ayce's hair out of his face. He ran a finger down his cheek, caressing him. "I'm not going to die on you. I can't. How else will I ever show you my world, hmm? I promise that I'm going to be right here for you."
Ayce closed his eyes. "Okay." He whispered. "Okay." He hesitated, then leaned his head on Nolan's shoulder, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry." He whispered softly, swallowing. "You should've have to put up with me a-and all my problems…"
Nolan just smiled down at him. He was hesitant but he pressed a small kiss to his temple. "Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm glad I'm here with you. I'm glad I got you out if there. Now I'm going to take care of you."
Ayce looked up at him with wide eyes, still leaning on his shoulder. "Okay." He whispered softly, blue eyes a whirlwind of turbulent, nearly unidentifiable emotions. The tall Fae somehow managed to look small like this, despite the fact that really, he was taller than Nolan.
"Good, good." Nolan cooed. He watched the fragile fae leaning against him. He wanted to kill every last person who had ever harmed Ayce. Slowly and painful. "Do you want me to stay with you while you sleep or do you want me to go?"
Ayce bit his lip again, and shrugged. "I don't know…" He said softly, eyes flickering to the floor again. His body was still shivering and shaking a little, though not as much as he had been. He swallowed, closing his eyes. He ordered this he ordered this but why? Why why why why why why?
Nolan sighed and nodded. "How about I stay here with you to keep the bad dreams away? Do you think I could lie next to you or do you want me in the chair?" He asked.
Ayce opened his eyes, looking at Nolan. "You can be in the bed…" He said softly, swallowing. "I-I don't…mind…" He added quietly, hugging his knees again. He did his best to push away his thoughts and memories but god there was so many of them and he just…it was so hard to think of anything else. He didn't know what else to think of.
Nolan slowly moved Ayce so he could climb into the bed next next to him. He carefulky placed the blankets over the two of them. He turned on his sidd so he coild go back to stroking Ayce's hair. "Look at me okay. Focus on me."
Ayce faced him, blinking. "Okay." He whispered. Why is he helping me I don't understand why I don't understand he doesn't know me doesn't know what I've done doesn't know anything about me i dont… He took a deep breath, biting his lip again out of habit.
"Good." Nolan pulled his lip out of Ayce's teeth. "What have I said about biting your lip?" He grioped his chin gently. "I want you to take deep breathes for me okay? Relax as best as you can. Can you do that for me?"
Ayce swallowed, and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths. "Okay." He whispered again, his breaths slightly shaky. His eyes flickered open, and he looked at Nolan again. Why I don't understand why does he care why is he doing any of this i dont understand.
"You're doing really good. That's it." Nolan encouraged. He brought his other hand up slowly, so he wouldn't scare Ayce, and started to run his back soothingingky. He was mindful if his wounds and avoided them as best as he was able too
"W-why are you helping me?" Ayce whispered, blinking. "I-I know Jalaan, h-he wouldn't have included this in y-your orders…your orders would o-only have been to bring me back…" He spoke hesitantly, shaking slightly. His body had gone stiff at the touch of Nolan's hand against his back. Wouldn't have ordered this so why why why why why.
Nolan caressed him softly, reassuring. Ge wanted Ayce to be comfortable with him. "Because you're hurting and I want to help you stop hurting. No one deserves to go through what you did. No one." He watched Ayce. "What kind of flowers would you want in your world? What colors would they be?"
Ayce's eyes flickered shut for a moment, then opened again as he looked at Nolan. "Fireweed and forget-me-nots." He whispered. "And Wild Roses. The bush ones. My…my sister used to love them." He admitted, looking away for a moment. "And trees." He added, chewing on the inside of his cheek slightly so that he wasn't biting his lip.
"Of course. There would be lots of trees. As far as you can see." Nolan grinned down at him. "What kind of home would you want? A cottage, a palace, an aparment?" He asked. "What kind of things would you want in it?"
Ayce blinked. "Something small." He replied quietly. "But…open. I…no small spaces." He shook slightly, remembering his cell in Raifa. How tiny it had been. No. No no no no he couldn't do that again. Not a tiny space not a little one. "Books? I-I don't know…"
"I thinknwe couod make something just for you. Cozy and open. I like that." Nolan watched him. "What kind of books wouod you want? What genre is your favorite?"
Ayce chewed on the inside of his lip for a moment. "I-I don't know." He replied. "It's been 100 years since I w-was last able to read a book…" He trailed off, shaking slightly again. Dark so dark so so so dark and bored and everything hurts and everything is so dark. He tried to push away the memory.
"That's okay. We'll read every kind of book until we find your favorite genre. We can start when we get to the base, how does that sound?" Nolan stroked his back softly when he shivered. He wanted to reasshre him that he was there for Ayce.
Ayce swallowed, and nodded. "O-okay." He stammered. Won't be able to we'll get back to the base Jalaan will want the spell he'll want everything i have to give and he'll want it now and I-I can't…
"We can read in the garden, how does that sound? We could lost in the words and stay up well into the night just reading." Nolan pressed a soft koss to his brow. It was instinctively. He wasn't sure what had come ober him
Ayce nodded. "Okay." He looked at Nolan, biting his lip again. What was that for why is he…I don't understand. Why is he doing things like that i really don't understand I don't…
Nolan once again pulled Ayce's lip out of his teeth. "Don't bite your lip." He murmured. "Are you ready to get some sleep? I want you to be well rested before tomorrow."
Ayce nodded. "Okay." He said softly, closing his eyes. He was still curled into a ball, facing Nolan. His eyes flickered slightly, and he drew closer to Nolan, feeling cold.
Nolan, after a moment of hesitancy, wrapped his arms around Ayce lightly. He pulled him close to his body. He sughed in content as he tried to relax on the bed