(I did, thank you! I'm glad to be back.)
Tolly shivered a little as Cas touched the sensitive skin, pushing closer. He nuzzled Cas' head as he did, humming contentedly. "Do we have to? I think that something else is exactly what I'd like to do right now."
His heart beat kicked up a few beats, the same as when he had first brought tolly to his dorm. He swallowed hard and glanced up at him. "S…sure…sure?" He squeaked
Tolly frowned lightly and kissed his cheek. "Are you sure?" he asked, peeking over at Cas nervously. He was blushing, embarrassed. "We don't have to, I'm sorry I even brought it up. Let's just go to sleep."
Cas shook his head "no, it's ok. I've just never…you know…done it. I don't think I'm ready to go that far especially in my parent's house but we don't have to sleep yet." He glanced up and bit his lip nervously
Tolly processed for a few seconds before he nodded and pulled Cas a little closer. He started nosing at Cas's jaw, peppering soft kisses across the skin. "That's perfectly fine! I'm happy to cuddle and kiss and not go any farther if that'd make you comfortable."
Cas sighed in relief and relaxed against Tolly "thank you, beautiful one." he muttered, nuzzling into Tolly's neck
Tolly laughed and kissed the top of his head. "You don't need to thank me, Cas. I'm just doing what any decent guy would."
He huffed a small laugh "you'd be surprised how scarce 'decent guys' are now." He muttered, lightly kissing his collar bone
Tolly frowned at that, pulling Cas a little closer instinctively. "What do you mean by that? I know guys today aren't the greatest, but they're still respectful, right? They wouldn't force you into something."
Cas shook his head "No not to me. I'm the weirdo witch kid not necessarily the kid people want to screw. I've seen it in others. Customers at the shop, i've seen their pain and hurt in their eyes when they walk with their partners and loved ones. Their plea for help. I try my best to help them but even that won't stop that." He nuzzled into tolly's chest and took in a heavy breath "sorry, I'm bringing down the mood."
Tolly frowned and snuggled closer, burying his face in Cas' neck as he listened. "I'm sorry you have to see all that and I'm sorry people don't treat you right. If anyone deserves nice things, it's you Cas. And… there's really nothing you can do with relationships like those. The person has to realize things are bad before they can accept any kind of help."
"I know, it just makes me mad when people do that. No matter the being, they deserve to be treated right." He released a sigh and affectionately nudged Tolly's head with his own
Tolly hummed softly and nuzzled his jaw. "It's always hard to figure things out at first. For a while you don't even realize what the other person's doing is wrong."
Cas glanced up and cupped Tolly's cheek "Did someone do something to you?" he asked
Tolly sighed and then, hesitantly, nodded. Cas deserved to know. "Yeah. Um… a couple of different people actually."
Cas choked back slumping in his throat and sat down on the bed "they…they forced you to…" He shut his eyes to his back stinging tears
Tolly frowned and pressed close to Cas again, gently reaching up to wipe away the tears. "I… um… Only one. Only one was more than hitting and screaming and messing with my head."
"why?" He wispered, trying to hold back angry tears. He leaned into Tolly's hand "why would they do that? Android of all people, you?"
Tolly shrugged, slightly tense from the anger in Cas' voice. Was he mad!? "It just happened, please don't be mad! I promise I didn't mean to, just… I… I wasn't in a good place and I didn't know how they would turn out and I really am sorry I had to drop all this on you, so I'll just shut up."
"I'm not mad at you Tolly, I'm mad at the people who think that it's okay to do something like that to another person!" He sighed heavily and glanced up at him "are you okay now? Or is it still going on?"
Tolly pursed his lips and then, tentatively, shook his head. "No… no, I'm okay now. I… um… I finally got away from the last guy last year. Right… um… right before I met you."
Cas nodded "so that means he still goes to this school, great…" He muttered, flopping back onto the bed and shutting his eyes
Tolly frowned, not sure if he should cuddle closer to Cas for comfort the way he so desperately wanted to or leave to keep Cas from getting even more upset. "I'm sorry," he said, slowly starting to ease himself off the bed. "I shouldn't have brought it up, I'll just…"
Cas opened his eyes as tolly shifted off the bed and sat up. Before tolly could move farther away, cas reached for his hand and pulled him closer "stop saying you're sorry for something you didn't do." He pressed his face into Tolly's hand and shut his eyes. For the millionth time that week, cas thought that it shouldn't be him in this situation, that it shouldn't be him with Tolly like this, it shouldn't be him that tolly pours his heart and soul to. "Thank you for bringing it up. Thank you for trusting me enough." He pressed a kiss to Tolly's hand
Tolly let out a squeak of confusion when Cas pulled him close and a high-pitched, fluttery little sigh when he kissed him. He wanted to wrap Cas up and bury his face in the crook of his neck and just sit and hold him for a while, but Cas probably wouldn't like that. Cas was probably only touching him as some kind of pacifier to keep him from leaving and doing something stupid because that was the kind of sweet person Cas was.
Cas flicked his gaze up to Tolly, his brow creasing with worry "what was that, pretty one?" he asked softly, a flicker of a smile crossing his features. "I'm sorry that I brought down the mood of today, this wasn't how I expected to spend time with you." he snuggled close to tolly, needing his warmth and comfort but not wanting to push his luck in case Tolly was more upset than what he let on
Tolly wrapped him up tighter on instinct, finally giving in and pulling him close. He pushed his face into the crook of Cas' neck, wrapped his arms around his waist, and tucked himself around his boyfriend. It was warm here, he could feel himself relaxing. "It's okay, I… um… It was something you probably should've known before we got together. I just… I didn't want to bring it up."
Cas shook his head slightly, nuzzling into Tolly's hair "you didn't have to tell me anything. Is's your choice whether you want to tell me or not." He said, leaning into tolly and kissing the area beneath his ear
Tolly whined quietly and leaned closer, blushing lightly. "I… I wouldn't mind telling you," he said after a few quiet seconds. "If you want to know, it's fine."
He smiled softly "you can tell me when you're ready. Not everything has to come out all at once." He reasured, lightly stroking his hair