forum I summon thee @Young-Dusty

Started May 08, 2019 by @amber_is_in_a_loop

tune

(okay well here goes nothingggggg flails)
"It must be really hard" Rick said softly. "Not knowin' if they're all right, or what's going to happen to 'em. I'd be plum terrified if I was in your shoes."

(<3)
"Glad I don't look like I am. But you can bet that every time I smile I'm hurting a little deeper."

(huge exhale of relief)
Rick glanced back over at her. "You know you don't always have to hide it, right? My uncle told me that you've got to let a little water out of the dam once in a while, or the pressure makes the whole thing collapse." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm not tryin' to teach you how to carry your burdens of course….but I know sometimes it helps to get a little reminder from a friend." The friend part might have been pushing it a little, but Rick hoped she'd see that he was sincere and just wanted to help.

She was fighting. She was fighting so hard. She was a second away from shattering and letting 9 years worth of pain come flooding out. That wouldn't be good for anyone. "Don't push me please." She wasn't sure who she was talking to. Herself? Her mind? Rick? Axel? Whoever it was had one hand out, ready to shove her off the edge of the cliff, and she wouldn't survive the fall.

Rick was starting to realize that Charlotte's dam was set to collapse no matter what. He chose his next words very carefully. "I ain't pushing you anywhere, Charlotte. If you want…I'm here to lean on when other things push you too hard. That's all."

"Don't." She was getting quieter and quieter, smaller and smaller as every single fragment of pain she'd ever tucked away met in her heart, filling every inch of her body. Maybe it was because she was tired. Maybe it was because the very real fear that they were going to die was bringing back the memories.
Whatever it was, pushed her, and freefell. One tear, followed by another, and another. They were still fell alone, and she wasn't moving or making any move to stop them. Gathering courage, a few more salty tears pushed their way past her wall, and before long her face was drenched.

(you're really good at narrating Charlotte's turmoil, just gonna throw that out there ^^)
Rick was at a loss. He wanted to try and comfort her….but she'd already clearly told him to back off, twice. He knew he probably wasn't the best person to help her through this–he was essentially a stranger to her, after all. But on the other hand, it seemed like someone needed to be there for her right now….
Eventually he decided to remain silently where he was and let her process her grief in relative privacy. If she wanted his support or a listening ear, he'd supply it.

No one came. No support. She hadn't known before then how much she needed people.
And that was what the final chink. She wasn't as strong as she'd always told herself she was. She let out a sound, a scream drowned and twisted by the crying, and she tried to stand. She couldn't. Her body was shaking too hard, too full of the hurt to do anything but cave in on itself, and she fell into a fragile ball of what she'd always told herself she'd never become.
The pain won the battle and bared its teeth to the last shred of pride she had left; the latter cowered away and pain beat her down, unleashing the rage and hurt and terror and hate and every emotion that now held this woman turned child in the palm of its hand.

(you're really good at narrating Charlotte's turmoil, just gonna throw that out there ^^)

(thank you :) you can always write something better once you've experienced the likes of it I don't want to like darken the mood or anything I just wanted to be honest)

Okay, well scratch that plan, Rick thought. Decision made, he quickly got up and went to her side, lifting her back upright. Gently but firmly he wrapped her in a hug, alarmed to feel her shaking. He didn't know the right thing to do anymore, but he did know without a doubt that nobody should be alone when they were hurting so badly.

(you're really good at narrating Charlotte's turmoil, just gonna throw that out there ^^)

(thank you :) you can always write something better once you've experienced the likes of it I don't want to like darken the mood or anything I just wanted to be honest)

(no I get it, personal experience really enriches writing hugs)

Charlotte, caught in her own mind, registered nothing but human warmth. With an iron grip despite her weak state she desperately latched on to the person's arm, burying her head in their chest. It was there, held, sobbing uncontrollably, stopped from sinking into the depths of the dirt only a strong arm around her, that her mind took in enough to light to stop her losing herself completely.

(no I get it, personal experience really enriches writing hugs)

(You're precious, you know that?)

(ahhh thank-you >///<)
Rick hugged her tighter, willing to sit there as long as he had to. Part of him was aching over the fact that anyone could bear so much pain and suffering and still think themselves weak. Another part was just relieved that he was finally able to help somehow. "It's alright," he said very quietly. "I got you."

She murmured her assent.
It took her 3 quarters of an hour to calm down enough to bear pulling away. "Oh my god," she gasped, voice hoarse and dehydrated. "Oh, Rick I… I don't know what happened. I–"

"It's all right," Rick reassured her. "Don't you worry about a thing." He picked up one of their water canteens and passed it to her. "Here."

Eyes wide and shining, she looked over at Rick. He didn't look bothered. Why was that?
She carefully went to take the bottle, drinking down half its contents before stopping herself and screwing the top back on. "I'm sorry," she said anyway, now weak in the face shame.

"There's nothin' to be sorry about, honest." Rick offered her a slight smile. "Just do me a favor and ask somebody for help before things get that bad again, okay? It ain't a crime to be weak sometimes, y'know."

She frowned and shook her head, running a hand through her flyaway hair. "That's what not I grew up with," she told Rick. She was still in a vulnerable state of mind; it made her nervous, and she almost automatically switched to her protective autopilot… But she didn't have the heart. Not right now.

Rick's brow furrowed in concern. "What do you mean? Who taught you otherwise?"

She shut her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself. "Careful," she told him with a bitter laugh. "Or you'll set me off again."

Rick looked down. "Right. I won't pry." He sighed. "I'm sorry you had to grow up with that lesson…I know it's not an easy mindset to shake."

Ask again. Please ask again.
"No, it isn't."

Rick hesitated, then decided to take the risk. "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? That's what you said about how much you miss the kids, but you seem like you're feelin' a bit better now that you've faced it some….."

"I'm a coward. I want to but…" She trailed off, wringing her hands together.

Rick shook his head. "You're not a coward, Charlotte….I think you're just not sure what'll happen if you talk. I promise nothin' bad will happen, okay? If you need to cry again after, I don't mind sitting with you. All night, if that's what it takes."