forum Private roleplay with @Otaku_Is_Anime_Trash

Started June 26, 2019 by @Fraust

tune

Lucas blushed and looked away, drying his hair with a towel. When he moved it away, his hair was incredibly fluffy.

“With a little bit of cute in there,” he smirked.

Lucas sighed and went over to Nick, hugging him weakly. "Are we, uh… we calling CPS or what?"

"Right! Sorry, you distracted me," he took his phone and dialed the number and waited.

Lucas hesitated before sitting on Nick's lap, still hugging him as the call was picked up.

"Hi I know someone who is getting abused……..Lucas…………..my name is Nick……adress is *********….. of course…….okay……..alcoholic……… thank you so much……okay…..bye," Nick hung up the phone. "They said they would be here tomorrow if that's okay with you and if it's not they said to call them back."

"That's fine… are they going to my house or here?" Lucas asked softly, burying his face in Nick's shoulder.

"Your house because they want to see if it's true or not. Also, if it is true they're going to give your dad therapy to help him to stop drinking," Nick rocked Lucas in his arms back and forth.

Lucas nodded shakily. "I… th-thank you…" He hugged Nick tightly, biting back tears. "It really means a lot…"

"Always, if you were to tell me sooner I would've done the same thing then even if you weren't my boyfriend," he said softly. "You can cry if you want to, there is nothing wrong with crying. I do it sometimes."

"I-I can't cry… it makes me weak…" Lucas whispered. "…and when I start crying, I… I-I can't really stop…"

"Crying doesn't make you week it shows that your human. I know that everyone in this world has at least cried once. It could be when your born or something tragic happened. So it's okay to cry alright?"

Lucas trembled violently as he clung to Nick, but despite his efforts, eventually broke down into quiet sobs.

"Just let it all out I'm not going anywhere," Nick said quietly still rocking Lucas.

Lucas shook his head a bit. "I c-can't… I… I-I couldn't do that to you…"

"What do you mean love?" he asked pulling him up and wiping his tears away.

"I… th-there's a lot of shit that I would feel really guilty for burdening you with…" Lucas hiccuped, brushing some fresh tears from his cheeks.

"Listen, I want to carry it. I know that no one can do this alone whether they think they can they're wrong. If you think for even one second I'm going to let you do this alone I'm not. I could never do that. Carrying this alone it too much. If you have someone with you to help lighten the load it can make you ten times better."

Lucas nodded and hesitated a few second before pulling up his sleeves, still sobbing. He revealed dozens of scars, some noticeably vertical rather than horizontal, and some more recent than others. "I-I'm sorry… I'm… I'm s-so sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for…" Nick closed his eyes and traced Lucas's arm, "Did you do this or someone else?"

"Mostly… m-mostly me, but some of the bigger, more jagged ones are my father's doing…" Lucas shivered when Nick touched the scars, still crying.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Lucas? What is the point?" he asked softly pulling away from Lucas's scars.

"Control? Pain? I-I dunno… in some sick, twisted way, causing myself the pain as opposed to my father gives me a sort of comfort that… that I still have some control over my life… above that, I-I… I feel like I deserve the pain, and a couple of these scars, well…" He ran his thumb across a long vertical scar that seemed to have been deep.

Nick took Lucas's hand away from his scars and held his hands. "You don't deserve pain because pain or scars or anything your father tells you and does to you. You are amazing in your own way whether you see or you don't it's there. All you have to do is look inside yourself and find it. There is no need to cause pain to yourself. Let me tell you something you don't need the pain to know that you still have control over your life. You're almost an adult your father doesn't own you. You are your own person and it's your life not anyone else's so, you can do whatever you want to do with it."

Lucas starting shaking more violently, his hands trembling in Nick's grasp. He began sobbing once more, coughing as his throat started closing up. "I-I don't de… d-deserve someone like you… I d-don't…" He managed to choke out.

"Babe, you deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for. Take a deep breath and talk to me. You can say anything to me as long as it helps you calm down and smile," Nick said as he kissed his cheek.

"I-I'm just so scared… of… of h-him, of myself, of…of disappointing you and him and everyone…" Tears rolled down Lucas's pale cheeks. "And… and everything h-hurts, so much, b-but I can't stop because… I'm… I-I'm addicted to it, I guess, and I'm a horrible person for doing that to you, b-but I don't think I can physically stop…"

"I'm no therapist and you don't have to listen to me, but the best thing for you to do is throw whatever you use to cut yourself away. Get everything sharp away from you and once you're done with that. Do something other than sitting at home whether it's going to someone's house or getting a job, just make sure that you don't stay at home as often as you do okay? Can you do that for me?" He asked softly.

"I-I've tried…" Lucas sobbed. "I… I fall into a sort of daze and I've hurt myself before I even realize what's happening… throwing away the blades won't always help." He touched a few scars that seemed to be bite marks. "I-I can't control myself…"

"You can, you just have to learn. You think babies can control themselves, hell no, but the learn how to. All you need to do is learn alright?" Nick softly touch Lucas's cheek wiping away most of the tears that keep falling from his face.