"The E does not stand for Everyone. It stands for eXpLiCIt"
Flashback to Into The Woods
'Twas blursed in every sense of the word.
More blursed than Muppet Polonius?
……nothing is more blursed than that. I kinda wish he still had it
I know, I think I lost Laertes… :(
I have no idea where Rosencrantz is
England, duh.
Are you sure about that?
Well, he's at dinner.
Dinner for the worms anyway….
There you go.
Me: sits on tissue box
Me: Esme squalor voice squished tissue boxes are so in right now
Me: Why are you writing an entire goddamn essay on my leg(my mom found the henna and-)
My sister: laughs hysterically. literal villain cackling
Me to the tv: You, sir, are a beautiful boy
My cousin and I: 28 STAB WOUNDS
My other cousin: My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by cyberlife.
My cousin and I: 28 STAB WOUNDS
My other cousin: My name is Connor, I’m the android sent by cyberlife.
I was at theater camp and they told us to act like robots and I just yelled “28 STAB WOUNDS” and everyone started laughing.
"I mean even if I end up throwing up from these expired pretzels, at least my dad won't make me go to school tomorrow."
"I mean even if I end up throwing up from these expired pretzels, at least my dad won't make me go to school tomorrow."
Mood
"Are you eating another apple?"
"Yeah."
"You're gonna get diarrhea."
Also mood.
"Is that… Is that a fucking sword in a carton of pretzels?"
"It is indeed."
"What the fuck dude?"
"They wronged me."
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Are you… are you going to hide that bottle of Vodka at all before you leave?"
"Don't worry, I got this."
Proceeds to hide the bottle in his sweatpants and walk out of the room.
"…Okay?!"
"And then the room just smelled like peanut butter."
"Don't question my life choices, that's my job!"
My friend while doing a handstand on the teacher's desk
"Come, child… GIVE ME YOUR NECK"
I hate you more than I hate myself.
"Stab me like one of your French girls"
"I mean, yknow, I'm actually scared of pretty much everything except for people and social things…like I'm terrified 76% of the time"
"you wHAT"
The answer to any question involving drugs and/or addictive substances "Meth"
"What kind of a person are you?" -Person 1 "I eat raw pop tarts."- Person 2 "MONSTER!!"
"I'm going to steal some license plate numbers, so act casual."- a boy in my photography class who I swear is on drugs
"I remember jumping off that building!"
"What are you doing?" "Making you feel guilty."
"I am under no obligation to make sense to you."
(I borrowed some of these from @artsygirl.cora on Instagram)
"no hetero but you're an angel"
“(Name) CAN I BORROW YOUR SCREWDRIVER?!”
“YEAH!”
"Dumbass"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP STEVE"
Person A: "I wish someone loved me as much as you love your dog"
Person B: "I wish someone loved me as much as I love my dog"
"I'm gonna eat my mom.. wait no."
"And this proves that I am, indeed, a dinosaur."
Student: blabbering on
Teacher: shut it, [name]
Student: I love you!
"Hi, I'm from (this place). There are more cranberries than people there."
"Hey bird, I'm all for singing about nature, but shut the fuck up."
"parental satan"
"parental satan"
Me btw