They had barely made it away from the school before Sterling felt Eden lean against his shoulder. He blinked, raising his eyebrows in surprise as he shot a quick glance at her. Her eyes were closed, and she looked at least a little at peace as she rested against him. It was a wonderful sight to see. He wished she would let him see it more often.
With a soft sigh through his nose, he moved his right hand to rest on her knee. His touch was light, gentle. If she wanted him to move it at anytime, he would.
At first, Eden was at peace, even if it was a little. Then she felt a hand on her knee and she fell under, revulsion coursing through her. Her skin burned with the touch, bile rising to her throat. She immediately moved away, recoiling in fear. Her eyes snapped open in panic, hands reaching out to touch her eyes. No, no blindfold. No binding. Her breathing was heavy, her heart beating with intense, indescribable fear, but she managed to calm herself down when she realized one thing.
Sterling. It was just Sterling. It was a gentle touch, not one to hurt, not one to claim. It was harmless. Eden exhaled deeply, hiding her face in her hands. She hated this. She hated this so goddamn much. How on earth would she explain this?
Sterling mentally cursed himself when Eden pulled away. She acted like she was repulsed by his touch, and she very well might have been. But he didn’t think it was just his touch that made her shake like she was, more like the place he touched her. So he made a mental note to not touch her without her permission, not in any way, shape, or form. He would even ask if he could hug her so that she wouldn’t have to recoil from him.
“I’m sorry. I won’t do that again,” he promised in a whisper, glancing g over at her curled up form. “We’re almost to your apartment.”
“No, I’m sorry,” she shook her head, shaking her head. “I just—I’m not used to it. The touches, I mean.”
It was both a lie and the truth. She wasn’t used to being touched like that. With gentle hands, wanting nothing more than what she could offer. But she also wasn’t used to being touched, either. In any way, she wasn’t used to it. It repulsed her. It sickened her because it reminded her of his vile touches on her body, controlling and demanding. Those very hands of a person who claimed he loved her.
Eden hesitantly reached out to touch his sleeve, still looking away from him. “Don’t let this change your opinion of me,” she almost pleaded quietly. “Please.”
Sterling gave her a small smile, though his eyes stayed on the road as he drove. “I would never. Haven’t you learned anything about me at all, Eden McArthur? I’m not leaving you just because of some trivial thing like this.”
Eden’s grip on his sleeve tightened. If only he knew… if only he knew just how deep it ran. He wouldn’t look at her the same.
“Well then, I’m glad about that,” she murmured. “I’m glad about that…”
And then his words registered in her brain. I’m not leaving you. Was that something mere friends said to each other, with that emotion in their tone? What were they doing, really?
Sterling hummed his response, and the rest of the ride went on in silence. He was okay with that, though. It was good to be able to think a little, even if it wasn’t a very long time before he was pulling up outside the apartment building.
Eden finally let go of his sleeve when he parked the car, stepping out on shaky legs with an aching body. She walked to the door and unlocked it, stepping inside and waited for Sterling to do the same. Her brother wasn’t home, which made it all the better.
The second Sterling stepped inside and the door closed behind him, Eden wrapped her small arms around his waist, holding him tightly, breathing him in.
And the second she did that, the second she felt him pressed against her, the monsters rampaging in her mind settled back down in their cages. His arms felt like home.
Sterling blinked in surprise. He hadn’t been expecting Eden of all people to do that. It was nice, though. He was glad she felt comfortable enough with him that she would do this.
So he wrapped his own arms around him, holding her close. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in the smell of her jasmine shampoo. That smell was quickly becoming one of his favorite scents…
Though Eden knew it wasn’t easy for him to hug her back with his food in his hands, he did it anyway. It made her heart flutter, especially with the way he held her close and tight. Especially when he buried his face in her hair and breathed her in.
Eden exhaled, her eyes closed, relaxing in his hold. It was so easy for him to make her comfortable, wasn’t it? Though sometimes what he did made her feel like she was drowning, he more often pulled her out of it.
“Thank you,” she murmured, her face in his chest, fingers gripping the back of his shirt tightly.
“Any time, E,” Sterling murmured, pressing his mouth to the top of her head. “How about we eat quickly and then sit or lay down on the couch? We’ve only got a short amount of time before we have to head back to school.”
Eden leaned into his touch, humming in agreement. She'd grown so used to the feeling of his mouth pressing on her head. Sometimes it felt like he knew she wanted him to do that.
"Eat quickly, then," she murmured. "So we can spend the rest of our time doing other things."
Sterling smirked a little and pulled away just enough to look at her. “There could be so many other meanings behind that which aren’t the one you meant. I’ll spare you the teasing, though, and go eat instead.”
At his words, explosions exploded in Eden's chest. She scowled at him, though she knew she had set herself up. "I hate you so much, Sterling," she muttered under her breath. "You and your dirty brain."
Sterling chuckled, sending her a haughty wink before setting his food on the table. “Are you going to eat something? You should at least try to eat something small.”
Eden's scowl hardened at his wink, but she couldn't help the faint blush that coated her cheeks. Damn him, indeed. At his next question, though, she dropped the scowl and looked away, running a hand through her hair. "I don't have much of an appetite."
And throwing up at even the slightest of provocation doesn't sound too inviting.
“Are you sure? Not even something small?” Sterling asked gently, sitting down in a seat.
Eden looked at him before sighing again. “Maybe I’ll just get a fruit or something, if that makes you stop worrying.”
Sterling smiled a little as he opened the bag of his food. “It would, thank you. Please do.”
Eden shook her head and made her way to the kitchen, opening the fridge. She pulled out a box of strawberries and took two of them out, washing them and cutting off their leaves. She walked back into the living room, taking a small bite out of one, taking a seat on the couch.
“How much time do we have?” She questioned, peering up at him from her position.
Sterling hummed around a mouthful of food and checked the time on his watch. “About twenty minutes. I should be done here soon.”
Eden nodded, laying back down on the couch, her feet hanging in the air, chewing softly. “Yeah, okay. Twenty minutes. We don’t have fourth block together.”
“No, we don’t…” Sterling sighed, taking another bite of his food. He chewed and swallowed before continuing. “What are you doing after school?”
Eden swallowed her bite, closing her eyes, feeling a little sick. She took another bite, anyway. “Probably nothing,” she murmured. “Hanging around with Razor.”
Or in the shower. Wallowing in self-pity. Who knows.
“We have that test this week, don’t we? Maybe we could study for it together,” Sterling suggested with a shrug, even though she couldn’t see him.
“Ah, the algebra one?” Eden closed her eyes, exhaling through her nose. “We could. I have one test next block, actually.”
“Yeah, the algebra one. It’s Thursday, right? If we start to study for it later today, then we should be plenty prepared by then,” Sterling mused as he continued to eat.
Eden hummed to herself. “I’m actually done with all the reviews he gave us. I had nothing better to do.”
Sterling looked over at her from the table and raised an eyebrow. “Really? Wow… I only just started them,” he admitted with a chuckle. “Maybe you can help me with them, then.”
“That works for me,” she murmured. “It’s quite easy, actually. Especially if you have a graphing calculator. Do you have it? I don’t think I’ve seen you using it.”
