Eden shook her head, trying to regain her composure. She couldn’t act like this. Not with Sterling around. Not when he could see she wasn’t as fearless, as strong, as tough as she always made herself to be.
“I can’t…” she found herself whimpering, her breathing coming out in pants. If she opened her eyes, she knew she was going to break down. But if she kept them closed, her fear was going to increase. “I can’t—make it stop… please…”
Where was Lucas? Why wasn’t he here? This was one of the moments where she let him baby her without pushing him away. She needed him. She needed this storm to pass.
“Eden, hey, it’s okay. The storm will pass soon. Just take deep breaths, okay? Just breathe,” Sterling murmured, moving slightly closer. “Is it okay if I touch you? Can I put my arms around you? Hold your hand? Whatever you need, I’m here for you, okay?”
Eden didn’t respond. She simply leaned towards him, craving his touch. Had she not known him better, she would have lashed out. But at this moment, she just wanted some comfort. She wanted him to hold her—just not tightly. Intense fear gnawed in her stomach, fear she never wanted to show.
Sterling immediately wrapped his arms around her when she leaned toward him. He ran his fingers through her hair, slow, gentle motions.
“It’s okay, E… You’re going to be okay,” he murmured, holding her gently.
Eden immediately collapsed in his arms, burying her face in his chest. Her fingers gripping his shirt tightly, jumping when another thunder rang in her ears. He held her so gently, running soothing fingers through her hair as if she was something precious.
“Make it stop… please…” she found herself whispering instead, holding him close to herself. “I hate this. Make it stop…”
Sterling tightened his arms around her, wanting nothing more than to be able to help her through this. “Shh… It’s okay. You’re okay. Nothing can hurt you here. Nothing will hurt you here. You’re okay, Eden. You’re here and you’re safe. I’m here for you,” he said softly, instinctively pressing a kiss to her forehead. He flinched when he realized what he’d done, but maybe it wouldn’t matter so much, maybe she wouldn’t care. “Everything is going to be okay…”
Her eyes snapped open when she felt his lips on her forehead. He kissed her. Granted, it was on the forehead, but he kissed her. What was he doing? Why? And he flinched afterward, as if the mere action disgusted him. But of course it did. She was an animal. Why would he want to willingly touch an animal?
But he was so gentle, so careful with her. Why would anyone go so far to humiliate someone? No, it had happened before. Worse than what Sterling had done. Worse than what he was doing.
She didn’t even want to pull away. When another thunder cracked, she buried herself deeper in his warm embrace, tears leaking from her eyes.
“Safe…” she repeated breathlessly. Was she? Safe, that is. Could she ever be? Here for you… “Why…?”
She didn’t react to the kiss, other than opening her eyes. That may have just been out of surprise, though. Maybe she was okay with it…
“Safe…” she had whispered. And then, “Why…?”
“Why” what? he wondered. Why… Why was he doing this, maybe?
“Because I don’t like seeing people scared or in pain, and you looked like you were both. And… I don’t want to see you scared or hurting. It makes me want to punch something,” he murmured back, rubbing gebtle circles into her back.
I don’t want to see you scared or hurting.
It makes me want to punch something.
What? He didn’t want to see her in pain or scared? What was with that? Was he being serious, or was he just being this way because she was Crystal? She wanted him to be serious.
And then he began to rub gentle circles on her back and God forbid, she slightly leaned into his touch. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting in such a way? What was she doing, really?
“Why?” She asked again, clinging to him tighter as a smaller sound filled her ears.
Sterling closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. Why, again… Why did he care so much? She barely even looked at him, and he just wanted her saw and happy. Why in the world did he care so much?
Did it really matter, though?
“Because, Eden… Just— Just because,” he whispered, sighing. If he told her his real reason, she might not take it very well… Especially if she hated him.
(Sterling, love, if she hated you, do you really think she would let you kiss her forehead, much less let you touch her?)
Just because. Why? Why was he behaving like this? Why with her? There were so many other girls in this school, ones with a better past than her. Ones who aren’t such a burden. So why her?
“Not a proper reason…” she murmured, holding onto him tighter. “Can you—just once, please keep holding on to me.”
I’m scared. Scared of being alone right now. I can’t do this. I hate thunder. I feel like I’m drowning. Please hold on to me.
(Sterling: Yeah, but she still doesn’t act like she likes me, even as a friend or acquaintance.)
Sterling sighed, nodding slowly. “Of course. I’ll hold you as long as you need me to, Eden,” he promised softly. “For as long as you want.”
(Well… fair enough.)
"Thank you…" she whispered, breathing him in again. Why did he smell so good, even now? "Sterling–" another roar of thunder interrupted her, this time louder, and she dug her face in the crook of his neck, his skin muffling the scream that slipped out. She trembled again, wanting it to stop. She hated this weakness. She hated it so much.
Sterling jumped at the sudden crack of thunder, his arms tightening around Eden when she buried herself further into him. He shifted so that he was sitting cross-legged and pulled her into his lap, hugging her close.
“It’s okay, E… It’s going to be okay. You’re safe. You’re safe here with me,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to the side of her head. “You’re okay. It’s just thunder. Just a sound. It can’t hurt you.”
Sterling shifted, pulling her into his lap and tightening his hold on her, hugging her close. The contact, the shift in their position didn't seem to bother her as much as it normally would have. She found comfort in the gesture. She felt comfortable in his hold. It was a sick feeling, one she didn't think she hated having.
And then his mouth was on the side of her head and Eden was suddenly extremely aware of their close contact. She did not want to move away. She merely pressed herself harder against him, his words ringing in her head.
You're safe here with me.
"I know it can't hurt me," she said barely in a whisper. "I can't help it. I'm terrified."
“You don’t have to be scared. Even if you can’t help it, just… try to think of something else. Anything else. Get your mind off of it,” Sterling murmured, his face still buried in her hair. She smelled good… She smelled really good. Like a flower or something. He couldn’t quite put his finger on the name of it, but it was definitely a flower. “Focus on your breathing, or on your surroundings, or… or on me. Focus on my arms around you. Focus on my voice. Focus on anything and everything else.”
Eden obeyed, sagging in his hold, thinking of his arms around her. She focused on the way he breathed against her, his face buried in her hair. His chest rising up and down with every breath he took. She shivered, not because of the cold or fear but because of the way he breathed down on her neck. She thought of his strong arms, the warmth of his body against hers. She thought of the way she felt so strangely comfortable in his embrace, far more safe than she had felt in any other male, not counting her brother or her father. And she thought of his voice, the way it rumbled out of his chest. The way it vibrated in his throat, the deep sound reaching her ears.
Her breathing evened and her heartbeat slowed. She relaxed in his hold, her eyes closing again.
"Thank you…" she murmured. "For being here. For not–not laughing."
Sterling kept his own breathing even, though it was more difficult because of the girl in his arms. He liked this. He liked this a lot. It was mice having her in his arms, being able to breathe her in, to lightly touch his lips to her head.
And he realized that he liked her. A lot. When he started liking her, he had no idea, but he definitely liked her. And he didn’t want anything to happen to her.
“I would never laugh at you for something like this. I wouldn’t laugh at you for being frightened of something, even if I don’t understand why,” he promised softly, running his fingers through her hair again.
Eden shifted in his lap, making herself a little more comfortable. She shouldn't, but she liked it. She liked being in his arms. She liked the safety it brought her as if the nightmare outside didn't exist. It made her feel like she was safe. Like nothing could get her, nothing could hurt her. How long had it been since she last felt so protected?
And then he started running his fingers through her wet hair again and Eden leaned into his touch, more of an unconscious movement than a conscious one. She liked that, too. Liked him running his fingers through her hair, touching her scalp, providing her warmth. She did jump a little when she heard the sound of thunder again, but she didn't feel like she was drowning in her fear.
"I… wasn't always afraid of it," she admitted in a quiet voice, breathing in his scent again. "I used to love it as a child."
“Do you… Do you want to talk about it?” Sterling asked gently, his arms tightening around her again. He took in another breath of her, closing his eyes as he did so. “You don’t have to, but I’m here if you want.”
"No," she responded, sighing in relief when he tightened his arms around her. At this point, she wished he never stopped holding her like this. Though there was still a part of her that wanted to bolt, she wanted to remain in his arms. "I don't want to."
Sterling nodded slowly, his head brushing against hers as he did so. “Okay. Just know that I’ll be here for you. Even if I’m not physically here, you can just call me. If you want to or need to, no matter the time.”
Eden’s eyes opened as she looked up at him straight into his eyes—were they always so breathtaking? Were they always so dark, so pretty? She let a small smile cover her lips.
“I don’t know why it’s always you,” she murmured. “Every little weakness of mine, every stupid moment I have, it’s always you who catches me.”
It felt like he couldn’t breathe. She met his gaze, and his world stopped. A smile pulled on her lips, and his heart pounded in his chest.
He smiled down at her softly and ran his fingers through her hair again. “Well, I’m glad for that. It means that I’ve become more than just an annoyance to you,” he chuckled, winking at her teasingly.
Eden’s eyes closed again when his fingers raked through her hair. Was this okay? Should she be doing this—should she put herself in such a vulnerable position again? Despite her better judgement, Eden said yes to herself. She rested her head back on his chest, rolling his eyes at his wink.
“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, half-teasingly. “More than just an annoyance. Definitely.”
Sterling smiled and began rubbing circles on her back again when she leaned against him. He listened to the quiet for a moment before realizing something: it was quiet. There was no thunder, no flashes of lightning. All that could be heard was the steady beating of rain on the roof.
“Hey… Do you hear that?” he started, gently pulling her away to grin at her. “The thunder stopped.”
Relief flooded through Eden at an incredible rate. It stopped. The thunder stopped. She didn’t have to be afraid anymore. Tears glistened her eyes and she released a breath, exhausted.
“Thank God…” she quivered, going weak from both the grin on his handsome features as well as relief. She went limp in his hold. “Thank God…”
Sterling’s smile softened at the relief on her features, then it slowly dropped as he thought of something. He would probably have to let her go, now… He really didn’t want to let her go. It was nice getting to hold her this way.
“I think it’s still raining pretty hard, though, so… Sorry, I might need to stay a little longer,” he sighed, his grip on her loosening slightly.
She didn’t want him to go, Eden realized. Thank God it was still raining heavily. That meant he could stay longer. She liked that. She liked that a lot.
Then his grip on her loosened and she sighed. Did he want her off of him? Maybe he did. Maybe he was tired now. After all, their position wasn’t comfortable at all.
“I should—I should remove my lenses,” Eden murmured, giving him a chance to let her go. “I forgot to take them off before.”
“Oh. Sure, yeah. Of course,” Sterling murmured, letting go of her. He immediately missed the warmth of her pressed up against him, and he held back a sigh. “I’ll go sit in the couch while you do that, I guess.”
