You're right. That is not love. That is expecting someone to be an adult who follows through on what they promised. It's not me taking it away. It's keeping the person from getting off the train they signed up to be on.
True. But there is such a thing as counseling.
What happened to "yourself and your partner up as a single unit"? I talked about this abusive relationships are off the table because we all agree that divorce is sometimes the only option in that case.
But it is a forced contract. Though one you agreed to. Don't you feel you should be able to get out of that agreement if you do not want it anymore?
Being an adult is also recognizing that something isn't healthy and making the decision to let go. You wouldn't force an electronic to work if it was broken beyond repair. Counseling doesn't always work, and for the relationships that it does work, it is only a short fix and harbors resentment between the pair. Counseling often ends up in the couple realizing that separating is a better idea, it just makes it more amicable.
Marriage is not a contract, Dom. It's not: 'If you do this for me I will do this for you'. That makes it sound so robotic and sterile. People can be let out of vows and that is what happens in divorce. Both parties are signing that they are releasing the other from their vows to them. It is amicable, not one sided. Just like marriage and sex, there must be consent.
I said: Love is not a sacrifice, or selflessness, it's about building yourself and your partner up as a single unit to become one strong link. Don't take my words out of context :P That's bad form. I was describing that love and marriage are a partnership, not a sacrifice, and sometimes partners are not compatible to work together.
We keep bringing up abuse because that is what you are describing! You are not describing a healthy relationship between adults. You are describing something that is abusive and terrible to go through. I know what it is like to be in a relationship where your partner refuses to let you go. Its demeaning and hurtful and beyond stressful. Being in a healthy relationship means that both people are free to make decisions for themselves.
It's not a forced contract if I signed up for it, which I did. I gave the consent to use the card and the company controlling my card to charge me for it. Paying it off makes me happy. Not to mention that you can cancel your credit card at any time. It's just a hassle.
I think if there are two people in a relationship and one doesn't love the other anymore, they shouldn't be together. If the person who is still in love truly loved the other person and truly wanted them to be happy, they would recognize that their partner is not happy with them. And if they really want them to be happy, they wouldn't try to make a relationship work that definitely wouldn't work, they would let the other person go. Dom, you said love is sacrifice. Sometimes that looks like not being in the relationship anymore. Because if the person you love isn't happy, you shouldn't force them to be with you, continuing to make them unhappy. That's not love.
Including if you both promised to stay together?
Can I just use Eris’s answer as my answer?
You're right. That is not love. That is expecting someone to be an adult who follows through on what they promised. It's not me taking it away. It's keeping the person from getting off the train they signed up to be on.
True. But there is such a thing as counseling.
What happened to "yourself and your partner up as a single unit"? I talked about this abusive relationships are off the table because we all agree that divorce is sometimes the only option in that case.
But it is a forced contract. Though one you agreed to. Don't you feel you should be able to get out of that agreement if you do not want it anymore?
Being an adult is also recognizing that something isn't healthy and making the decision to let go. You wouldn't force an electronic to work if it was broken beyond repair. Counseling doesn't always work, and for the relationships that it does work, it is only a short fix and harbors resentment between the pair. Counseling often ends up in the couple realizing that separating is a better idea, it just makes it more amicable.
Marriage is not a contract, Dom. It's not: 'If you do this for me I will do this for you'. That makes it sound so robotic and sterile. People can be let out of vows and that is what happens in divorce. Both parties are signing that they are releasing the other from their vows to them. It is amicable, not one sided. Just like marriage and sex, there must be consent.
I said: Love is not a sacrifice, or selflessness, it's about building yourself and your partner up as a single unit to become one strong link. Don't take my words out of context :P That's bad form. I was describing that love and marriage are a partnership, not a sacrifice, and sometimes partners are not compatible to work together.
We keep bringing up abuse because that is what you are describing! You are not describing a healthy relationship between adults. You are describing something that is abusive and terrible to go through. I know what it is like to be in a relationship where your partner refuses to let you go. Its demeaning and hurtful and beyond stressful. Being in a healthy relationship means that both people are free to make decisions for themselves.
It's not a forced contract if I signed up for it, which I did. I gave the consent to use the card and the company controlling my card to charge me for it. Paying it off makes me happy. Not to mention that you can cancel your credit card at any time. It's just a hassle.
Apologies for the context error.
I am afraid we cannot actually reach an agreement because of our background. I view marriage as something sacred. I don't think you believe the same.
The main difference between us is that I think that it is a promise that must be fulfilled while you think it should be always open. Continue if you can, but I don't know if we can reach an agreement.
I think if there are two people in a relationship and one doesn't love the other anymore, they shouldn't be together. If the person who is still in love truly loved the other person and truly wanted them to be happy, they would recognize that their partner is not happy with them. And if they really want them to be happy, they wouldn't try to make a relationship work that definitely wouldn't work, they would let the other person go. Dom, you said love is sacrifice. Sometimes that looks like not being in the relationship anymore. Because if the person you love isn't happy, you shouldn't force them to be with you, continuing to make them unhappy. That's not love.
Including if you both promised to stay together?
Can I just use Eris’s answer as my answer?
Depends. You aren't religious right? Because unless you are the answer is yes.
Why does it matter if she's religious? Religious people are still allowed to separate if it's better for them…..
Christians technically aren't allowed to (with only a few minor exceptions) although most do it anyway
I just think it’s funny how most, if not all, of us aren’t even close to marriage yet here we are debating it lol
I think if there are two people in a relationship and one doesn't love the other anymore, they shouldn't be together. If the person who is still in love truly loved the other person and truly wanted them to be happy, they would recognize that their partner is not happy with them. And if they really want them to be happy, they wouldn't try to make a relationship work that definitely wouldn't work, they would let the other person go. Dom, you said love is sacrifice. Sometimes that looks like not being in the relationship anymore. Because if the person you love isn't happy, you shouldn't force them to be with you, continuing to make them unhappy. That's not love.
Including if you both promised to stay together?
Can I just use Eris’s answer as my answer?
Depends. You aren't religious right? Because unless you are the answer is yes.
I am religious (I’m Christian), but can I still use it if I’m arguing for a non-religious marriage? Because a religious marriage is a totally different argument in my opinion.
I think if there are two people in a relationship and one doesn't love the other anymore, they shouldn't be together. If the person who is still in love truly loved the other person and truly wanted them to be happy, they would recognize that their partner is not happy with them. And if they really want them to be happy, they wouldn't try to make a relationship work that definitely wouldn't work, they would let the other person go. Dom, you said love is sacrifice. Sometimes that looks like not being in the relationship anymore. Because if the person you love isn't happy, you shouldn't force them to be with you, continuing to make them unhappy. That's not love.
Including if you both promised to stay together?
Can I just use Eris’s answer as my answer?
Depends. You aren't religious right? Because unless you are the answer is yes.
I am religious (I’m Christian), but can I still use it if I’m arguing for a non-religious marriage? Because a religious marriage is a totally different argument in my opinion.
True. A secular marriage can get divorced any time. My biggest mistake while arguing was doing it from a perspective that many do not share.
But why force somebody to stay with a person they don't love? What makes their happiness less valuable?
Chances are, the people are just going through some issues. Some therapy might help. I think it's terrible to just end things without trying to fix them. There are thousands of situations where divorce is okay, and thousands were it is not.
I love how this started as the Rudeness Chat and now it's the Respectful Debate Chat XD
Not complaining, I just think it's funny! <3
Totally different topic but I can't fucking stand looking in the mirror right now. Like every time I walk by I have to keep looking pointedly away. On another note, whY ARE THERE SO MANY FUCKING MIRRORS IN MY HOUSE
I like it.
I do too! I was just pointing it out :)
They want you to look.
Insert twilight music here
Well now it got fucking annoying.
I was having a good day.
Magnificent use of gif Eris
LUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCY
Me @ Eris
Carrie Fisher GIF!
Did you expect anything else from me, Dom? Lol
